Gloaming

by Rambling Writer

18 - Life Goes On

Mist had been scheduled for the late morning. It was thinner than usual, but it felt like it was clinging to my coat and the little chill it had worked its way into my bones faster than I expected. I wished I’d worn a coat as I stepped into the hardware store.

It wasn’t busy, not this early in the morning. Fine by me. I walked through the nearly-empty aisles, vaguely searching for the panels. I’d measured, and I hoped the store had the size I needed. After I’d trotted down a few good-looking aisles and not found any panels, I resorted to zigging and zagging up and down them.

As I walked, my thoughts about Clearwater began to nag at me. It was easy to say, “Clearwater’s death wasn’t my fault”, but it was quite another to believe it. I was beginning to believe it, although slowly, and the guilt of not telling her enough still kept bubbling up.

I turned down aisle 7 and almost ran into Cascadia. She jumped in surprise and my hooves slipped on the linoleum as I tried to backpedal too quickly. “Um, hey,” I said.

“Hey,” said Cascadia. She was balancing a few planks and a hoe across her back, keeping them steady with magic. She tapped one of the planks. “Garden stuff.”

“Yeah. I’m repairing a shed. You wouldn’t happen to know where the wood panels are, would you?”

“A little bit before the end of this aisle,” Cascadia said, pointing. “Can’t miss them.”

“Great. Thanks.” I stepped around her and trotted down the aisle.

“Hey, uh, Swan? Are you feeling okay?”

I glanced behind me. Cascadia was looking at me with… concern? It was a strange emotion on her face. “Yeah. Why?”

“You looked half-dead at the start of the week, then Clearwater died and you practically became a zombie.” Suddenly her expression shifted to one of suspicion. “Do you feel responsible?”

Wow. That obvious. I hadn’t been trying to hide it, after all. “W-well…” The guilt I’d been trying to suppress flooded back. “K-kinda, yeah.” Finally, something I could tell the truth about to her, even if it was just a half-truth. “It- If I’d- found the- whatever- she’d- still be-”

“And if I’d found the whatever, she’d still be alive.” Cascadia leaned the hoe and planks against some shelves. “I know the feeling. It’s hard to get over, isn’t it? But you’re still here. You can still do things. If you feel like you should’ve done more for Clearwater, do something good for somepony else. Anything good. Give blood if you have to, there’s a drive in a week or so. I know it sounds… well, stupid and irrational, but it works.”

Give blood? How would that help with Clearwater? I couldn’t see any connection between the two, but Cascadia sounded like she knew what she was talking about. If it’d help… “Why? What makes you say that?”

Cascadia chewed her lip for a second, then said, “Did it myself, once. Short version: used to be a Royal Guard. Got in a combat situation. Close friend died while trying to save her. Felt like crap. Swept barracks out of desperation to do something good. Felt better. Stilled mind enough to come to terms. It’s… I don’t know.” She waved a hoof vaguely. “It’s like… you think there’s only so much goodness in the world, and that pony getting hurt means you have extra goodness you don’t deserve, so once you do something to get that goodness out, you stop beating yourself up enough to know that it isn’t your fault instead of just telling yourself that it isn’t your fault.”

A better idea than anything I had. Even better, a reason why I should do that. Death wasn’t unheard of among rangers, but it was still rarer than one might think. I’d never had a teammate die on the job with me. My plan for dealing with whatever grief I’d experience had been, “Get over it.” Now that I was experiencing that grief, I had no idea to the how. Cascadia’s plan, as vague and general as it was, at least gave me something specific — “Get over it like this.” — and a reason why it worked. Worth a shot, if nothing else worked.

But even more than that, Cascadia implying that Clearwater’s death wasn’t my fault pushed my guilt down more. She’d known Clearwater for… years, most likely, and she was responsible for the safety of Delta, Clearwater included. If anypony had a right to blame me, it’d be her. Yet she didn’t. She didn’t look like she was even thinking of blaming me. Even if she didn’t know where the fault truly lay, she knew it wasn’t with me.

Cascadia slung her tools over her shoulder again. “You know, if… you want a… day off or something-”

“No!” I said quickly. Like that would help me now. “No, I need to keep at this. For Clearwater, if nothing else.”

“Look, Swan. I want complete honesty. Are you positive you feel well enough to work?”

Complete honesty. Yeah, right. “Yeah, yeah, I can work.”

“Because I’ve got no issue with you taking a few days off to de-stress. I don’t want to be responsible if you have a nervous breakdown. Delta’s got a spa, if you’re interested.”

“Spas aren’t really my thing.”

“Something else, then. But if you don’t need it…” Cascadia shrugged. “Want me to at least write for that arcanist early?”

“No, thanks.”

“Alright. I’ll be at the station, banging out some reports if you need to talk. Take care of yourself.” Cascadia walked a few paces away, then stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Seriously, you look like shit,” she said flatly.

Given what I’d seen in the mirror not a few hours ago… yeah.

---

I got lucky; one of the precut panels in the store was just the size I needed and even on sale. I was given a little cart to help take it home after paying a deposit on it. Good thing, too; I had no idea how I’d carry it otherwise.

I was about halfway home when suddenly Homeguard and Hailey were walking beside me. I managed to avoid tripping over myself. “Swan,” Homeguard said. “A word, if you would.”

“Hit me.”

“In yesterday’s newspaper, there were reports of more disappearances in Seaddle. Hailey and I presume them to be Speckle, either still turning new vampires or getting food for the ones she already has.”

“And Crystalline still hasn’t noticed, right?”

Homeguard sneered. “Either that, or they are deliberately ignoring her. They were already willing to kill you on her word. Whatever the reason, Hailey and I have decided that her rampage needs to be stopped.”

“Buuuuuut,” said Hailey, “since we’re kinda-sorta your bodyguards now, we decided to talk to you first. I mean, we probably shouldn’t go running off to Seaddle on a whim, even if Speckle seems to be confining herself there; seriously, we haven’t seen a vampire once in the past week. We’re only gonna go if you’re okay with it.”

My pace faltered a little. “Well, that’s… I like the idea, but… Hang on, let me think.” On the one hoof, if they took out the Seaddle vampires, it’d be one less thing I had to worry about. Personally, one less thing to worry about would be amazing. On the other, it’d be leaving me wide open for Speckle to do whatever she wanted. On the other other, aside from Clearwater, Speckle hadn’t tried anything directly against me. At least, nothing Homeguard and Hailey had told me about, but I was sure they’d let me know. Right? On the other other other, maybe she hadn’t tried anything because they were here. On the final other, she was in Seaddle, watching over her vampires. She had no way of knowing they were leaving. “Fine,” I said. “Go ahead. Let’s just get it over with.”

Hailey flapped her wings once and hoof-pumped in the air. “Yesssss! Vampire slaying! We never get to do enough vampire slaying!”

“Because it is a crude method of argument,” snapped Homeguard. “It is simplistic and persuasive only in the most brutish ways. If we can persuade the fledglings to abandon their taste for pony blood, we shall shelter them to the best of our abilities.”

“Yeah. Because fledglings have so much self-control.”

Homeguard flinched and didn’t respond. Instead, he turned to me and said, “Very well. Hailey and I shall depart for Seaddle immediately. If all goes well, we shall be back well before sundown, with the coven — and possibly Speckle herself — dealt with.”

I folded my ears back in confusion. “Wait. You’ll go to Seaddle, hunt down a vampire coven you don’t know the location of, and still be back by this evening?”

“Yes.”

“…Seaddle’s over a hundred miles away.”

Homeguard cocked his head. “Yes. And?”

I blinked. “…Well, okay, then.”

“You’re new here, aren’t you?” Hailey asked with a giggle.

“Kinda, yeah.”

---

With Homeguard and Hailey gone, I dragged the panel to the backyard and propped it against the shed. I dug a crowbar out from one of the boxes and was looking around for Clearwater’s nailgun before I remembered it was still inside. I trotted through the house and pulled the nailgun from the front closet. On the way back, I glanced into the living room to check on Levanta. She looked fine, deeply involved in some sketching. She was still using that fetlock pencil holder. Was she relying on it too much, or was she still learning to manipulate pencils with her mouth and I just never saw it?

Right before I headed out the back door, I paused. Levanta ought to be safe — I was just outside and could get to her in seconds — but just in case- “Levanta? If you need me, I’ll be out back.”

She didn’t look up from her sketching. “Yep. Got it.” At least somepony was relatively carefree.

Outside, it was beginning to spit a little, but I needed to get this done. I took another good look at the shed, and I swear, it was like the hole in the wall had gotten worse since I’d checked it and the rot was spreading. Earth ponies are strong, true, but I kicked out the bad parts of the panel like they were made of cardboard. A lot of angry, homeless bugs were soon skittering around. Once I’d gotten the bulk of the bad wall removed, I pried the rest away from the frame with a crowbar. Thankfully, the frame was still solid.

It was bizarrely intoxicating, working like this. Maybe because I was doing something concrete. Maybe because I wasn’t thinking about Clearwater. Maybe because I could kick something as hard as I wanted and nopony would stop me. All I knew was that I settled into a groove, dismantling the wall, that let me think.

Speckle wasn’t exactly lying particularly low, was she? Turning all those ponies right in Seaddle. Just because the cops couldn’t find her didn’t mean Homeguard and Hailey wouldn’t. Heck, Hailey had figured out it was her the moment she saw the first headlines. That meant they knew where Speckle was (ish) and track her down. Somehow. I wasn’t really sure how sharp, exactly, vampire senses were. Could they smell another vampire in a crowd?

Pulling every part of the old wall off wasn’t too hard, but getting the old nails out took the better part of an hour. They were in deep, and the wood didn’t seem to want to give them up. Once the frame was smooth again, I placed the panel against the frame and worked the nailgun onto my hoof. It was an intuitive model: strap it to your fetlock, twist your hoof in just the right way, and whchunk. It was a very satisfying whchunk, too, something sharp and hard-hitting. After putting two nails at the corners to keep the panel from rotating, I began working my way around the edge. I wasn’t great at it and kept misjudging where the frame was at first, but once I had a good idea of the frame’s location, I think it went well enough.

So was that just Speckle’s plan? Make an army of vampires, then come for me? She’d evaded Homeguard and Hailey so far. She knew how to be stealthy. And did she really need, what, a dozen? All at once? Surely five or six extra vampires would be good to take on two. She wasn’t even turning the bums, the kinds of ponies nobody would miss. Making it this big and this obvious was a special kind of stupid where you had to go out of your way to do work. Honestly, it was like she wanted them to go to Seaddle and hunt her down.

One satisfying whchunk was instead an unsatisfying whpkt. Out of nails. I flicked the empty magazine out and eventually figured out how to get a full magazine in and lock it. Whchunk. Still worked fine.

I paused. Although… if Speckle was planning on them leaving, then-

They were gone-

And I was-

Oh, Celestia, no.

And that was when Levanta screamed.

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Homeguard is a vampire who's a fireman.
Swan Dive is mind-reading magic-proof.
Homeguard says to Swanny, "Girl, I have a plan"
And Swanny says this as she takes him by the hoof.

Sorry, couldn't resist. In any case, yeah, this could've definitely gone better. Now to see how long the ruse will last, and what damage will come of it.

[goldfencer]

Either Hailey and Homeguard faked out Speckle by doubling back early, or Swan is about to get trigger happy with that nail gun.

[Julian the Dreamer]

Oh, boy.

[River Babble]

CRAAAAAP I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!

I mean honestly, the very fact that Hailey and Homeguard can reach Seattle and be back by evening implies just how FAST vampires are, and if she has any way of knowing where THEY are, it wouldn't at all be hard to know when they left and simply... pass them on the way back. Craaaaaaap I dunno how they're gonna get out of this DX Hopefully Hailey's visions kick in!!!

[SIGAWESOME]

And that was when Levanta screamed.

Joke is on us, right?

She is actually screaming in excitement because the Hubsboro company released season 8 of the popular My Little Human radio play early, yes?

...right?

[redmar]

She realized Specklse's plan just a bit too late. Hopefully Speckle will be stupid enough to explain the attitude of Crystalline during evil gloating.