• Member Since 14th Apr, 2018
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago



Staring out at the desert i cant help but wonder how if i could have done better. Was there a way that i could have proven that it wasn't cadence at the wedding? Maybe if i had i would be home in Equestria in stead of here at Enotita. Maybe i would still be a unicorn instead of a kirin. Maybe i would still be a scholar instead of a guard. Maybe i would still be the prince's student. Maybe.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 39 )

If Shining Armor is with the main five can you add a part of him get he butt kick by new and improve Twilight Sparkle please.

I am intrigued by this, if you could write this story i would be very grateful. if you need some help message me.

well this is an interesting idea.

Other then the few error I saw this would be an interesting story to read if you get around to it.

As said by others there are a few grammatical errors, but the whole idea of the story is very interesting and I would love to see more! :pinkiehappy:

...a genital breeze...

Spellcheck is not the end of editing.


How do i fix this? I cant find anything in the edit section.

you manually change it in the story


Thank you.

How the fuck did you get in the box if you can't even spell or punctuate or capitalize worth a damn?

While I wouldn't word it as... harshly, I'm afraid that by looking at the description, I have to agree. I haven't read the story itself yet, so I'll have to withhold real judgement for now. I may or may not be able to help you with spelling and grammar issues, I'm a part-time editor/proof-reader.

But anyway, congratulations on your first story getting on the feature box only three days after it's published, I guess?

Also, you now have accomplished something that, to my knowledge, no one else has done, though it's probably happened before. It makes you and this story special! So that's great for you! :twilightsmile:

You had a great idea and tried to make a good story to go along with it. That took courage and time. You're spelling and grammar need a great deal of work but I am sure you can do it. I would like to read more stories from you in the future.

An interesting idea. Although the execution is somewhat basic, that's expected. What needs to be said, is that you need an editor. Not horribly, but it still needs to happen. I can't remember what it's called, but I know that there is a group dedicated to editors somewhere on this site. Maybe check them out?

Please make more of this nicely done


This is based most entirely on things I learned by reading fanfiction. well I do wont to make a story from this myself, I want to wait until I watch more of the show first. If I am going to make a fanfic I want to know more about the original first. It will be awhile, but if you do want to help if and when I start it would be most appreciated.

I really like this idea and I hope that you and many other writers will continue this. :pinkiehappy:

Very interesting. Twilight is still a little annoyed by their actions, but not enough to despise them. While Spike is the one to be furious at them. Now with Celestia? I dont know if Twilight has anything against her or not.

Good Idea. Good Story. You desperately need a proof reader, but this is good. I Hope you continue it at some point.:twilightsmile:

Needs to be longer.

this is definitely a great base for an action love drama . i really like the name and bases of the town and how it combines the aspects of being a settlement of many species and cultures as will as introduce hybrids. it makes the reader ask a lot of questions that only themselves as inspiring writers can answer. you even good into the concept how how something that most people would expect to be evil but can at the same time be used for good. again reinforcing the concept of this story which what i take from it is "it's all in how you see things." or "your point of view." any how i think its a great story and i would love to use some of your characters and location in my own story.


Thank you, and feel free.:pinkiehappy: Looking forward to your story when it comes out.:pinkiesmile:

u can check out the prologue not the best writer tho but an advice ya have is welcome and thx for the permission

Really, WHERE?!

This story story needs a sequel. Stat.

They came for me, that is the only thought in my mind as I fly slowly to city. They came for me, just as they left me. Once again the past comes to the forefront of my mind. That was not cadence, I told them but they wouldn’t listen. I could have done better, bursting into the reception hall like I did. Yelling and calling her evil like I did, what was I thinking? Spike would say that I was thinking they were my friends and they would side with me, not the stranger they met that day. I shouldn’t blame them right? The way I looked, the way I sounded. It was me who filed right?

Regardless I was right, that wasn’t cadence. After they all left me sobbing there the imposter came and sent me to the caverns beneath canterlot. She was there, the real cadence. She knew me, she knew are dance. She was tired and sad but even then she was so kind as always. I lead her out back to the castle. A changeling, that’s what the imposter posing as cadence was.

I have let it go, haven’t I?

Is it just me, or does Twilight kinda sound like Ulysses here?

this is a good story hopefully you continue in some form like another one-shot or a multi chapter fic

It's a good concept, But a terrible read, no offense. I'm guessing English isn't your first language because HO BOY, that is some terrible, well, everything. Misspellings, incorrect words, missing words, punctuation where it doesn't belong, missing capitals. It's a mess, but if you ignore that, the story flows very well, which is rather important, and the issues aren't so egregious that I can't figure out what's being said.


Thank you.:pinkiesmile: No offense taken,:pinkiesmile: But if you believe it it English is my first language.:pinkiesad2: I'm really just that bad at gamer.:twilightblush:

i would love to see this turned into a thing

This would be pretty interesting as a full fledged story

I enjoyed this story. Please let me know if you or anyone else continues it.

This is an amazing story do you ever plan on expanding on it?


Can't say as is.:applejackunsure: I have given it a good bit of thought though.:applejackunsure:

Interesting read, interesting concept, need more of it! please expand on this AU

This is the forth time reading this.
Love the idea behind this and hope it gets expanded some time.
Will likely read again sometime in the future

I have let it go, haven’t I?

No one ever lets go of failures. You may forgiven them, but you can never trust them ever again.

Why is the word I capitalized in the actual story, but not in the synopsis?


I am terrible at grammar.:ajsleepy: I was not thinking about it at the time.:ajsleepy::applejackunsure:

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