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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So Phobia has just been attacked. Now we have a better timeframe of where we are compared to the last story. Now how will our favorite exmob pony help?
Looks like we missed one.
Devon was pretty sure that she could
herhear the flick of Tattered Wing's tail.9102333
Spent a while double checking over things this morning after 3 sets of other eyes went over it and still missed it.
Fixed now.
9102340
Thing is I remember noting that one when I read it the first time and forgot to actually post it because it was the same error as when she was using the bathroom.
I think you briefly got "Jackie" and "Jessie" mixed up when you mentioned who woke up when. "Jessie got up and played with Jessica."
As I said before, ponies who don't reject humanity altogether like Fred, Sarah and Robert in the main story are always a relief to encounter, as they are the minority, but, as evidenced, not at all vanishing rare. Yet individuals who refuse to change their name for anything, mark or no mark, such as the aforementioned and Remedy's dad (and he just got it, didn't he?) usually are intent to hang onto some portion of their identity, and not become unrecognizable. Ponies will recognize those who also turned by scent even if they weren't together at the time, but humans don't have that. Pretty much the only thing left is the voice, which is unaltered by all except those with preexisting identity issues.
This brings me to Amber here. This is the first I've seen here an ETS "victim" didn't change their name because their coat and hair simply matches their existing name. I wonder how she would be classed. Is it simply because it's too perfect, or she's like Fred and Ted regardless?
Also, that nightmare was really something. It really makes the husband look like a bad guy, but she's probably projecting based on psychological trauma. Having not actually seen him, and the dream only following the most basic facts, I'd like to think after time has worn away the shock, he'll look for his wife, daughter and son again. Having no idea what he is like, I would like to imagine Paul, who I have heard of but not seen, is a decent and all around good man.
As much as she's left a bad first impression, then with passing minutes after meeting a stranger improved her mood (has she been taking notes from limestone?), I agree humanity's obsession with nudity taboos makes no sense. Protecting ourselves from the sun, and keeping everything that has no sheath safe is paramount, but this feeling of discomfort is one that does nothing to serve us in closed environments. It's just as much an overbearing instinct as ETS ponies' phobia of being alone for even a minute. Neither make sense.
Amanda has again shown herself to be like Fred, Ted, Sarah and so forth. Even more so, in fact. She's more like Remedy's father in that given the chance to alter her soul to its "proper' form, she'd do it. I do think it's just as much a matter of the soul being changed as it is the body, and if any part of it remains, it hasn't gone fully equine yet. You recall how Fred outright denounced Utopian pipe-dreams? It sounds to me like she likely did the same, as she doesn't speak about the vision with reverence, but like she's diagnosing clinical insanity, or a reprogrammed computer. And she has once again shown hand envy, as she can't use the phone (Touchscreens are the worst idea ever, even with hands, get the screen greasy).
Also, is it just me, or do ponies with wings have much greater eagerness to shed all ties with humanity as quickly as possible, and not look back? I noticed save Remedy's best friend, all of the ponies who aren't eager to segregate humans and ponies, or finish what SS started and convert what's left are earth and unicorn types. Except her, there's not a thestral or pegasus who hasn't altered their name and been marked ASAP. And with few exceptions, all tend to be militant Shimmerists. Nearly all who aren't are ground dwelling types. Sunset Shimmer must have really worked extra hard on anyone who got wings during ETS.
In actual FiM canon, pegasi are explicitly portrayed as being very intrinsically militant, more so than all others; there's no escaping that. But RD is like the only one whose whole character is built on tribal foundation. Outside her, Fluttershy seems to be closer to the average. Most of them don't seem to have that infinite energy RD has.
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Sorry about that, I've been a bit busy this week. I will catch up on this Saturday (and answer your PM as well).
We kind of got the mindset of winged ponies explained to us in the last story. They see losing their ability to fly as essentially being crippled. That makes them far quicker to accept being a pony fully and more likely to embrace shimmerist ideals as a result.
Just caught up with this. This is very good slice of life stuff. I don't do that as well myself, so I'm glad someone can fill in that gap. I do have some ideas for my own short side-stories in this vein, but most of my time is tied up with the main story. In either case, I will be moving the story to the canon folder shortly and catch up on PMs.
All in all, a well-written story. Your dialog has definitely improved since the first story.