A thousand years ago Nightmare Moon fought Celestia at the castle of the two royal sisters. The destruction was devastating. Wild magic and falling stonework were too much for the pregnant mare to escape. Her dying wish was her foal could be saved. Sometimes wishes get answered in the most unexpected ways.
The Tantabus acted with a mind of its own. It had a goal, it had its own desires, it took the form of a unicorn, it wanted to live. The reason why will change Princess Luna's life.
Chapters (7)
The story seems good, but there were many instances where commas were needed and things like that, so if you could add those, that would be great.
9020426
I will check it again. Sadly my grammar skills are very bad it's part of my learning disabilities. I see if the grammar programs I have can spot the errors.
9020436
Grammarly should help you to touch it up.
9021057
I use it but can’t afford the full membership package. W
please write a sequel.
AHHHHHHHH!
WUNDERKIN!
Speaking right after being born...
Oh well, I guess she has been stuck inside Luna for just over a thousand years...
9022545
There is also the fact she been spending time in pony dreams, Including Cheerilee's. So yeah I have a reason she talks.
That explanation is in chapter 2. 😄
I got a few more ideas for Chapters. Don’t expect a fast production I have some disabilities that make writing difficult. Primary one is Dyslexia. For now I don’t have an editor.
I hope that the story can be continued. I just finished it and I loved it a lot! Thanks for all of the hard work in the story and I really hope to see more.
9026516
I’m going to work on a new chapter this weekend. Sadly I don’t have an Editor going forward. Sanguine Eyes is busy with his own projects.
9026571
I would love to do it but honestly ... Since my Stories suck I'm not that good at it. Hope you find someone.
Chapter 3 update.
I be releasing chapter 3 this Friday. Hopefully the grammar programs I got off the internet would help me find more errors.
Paragraph two said "What going on" towards the end ... I think it should say "What's going on"
Paragraph 7 said "I have the puddle cleaned up..." ... Think it should be I should have
Secomd paragraph up from the end said "She be in the physical room..." ...thing it should be She will be.
other than that ...
Thank-you sooooo much for another chapter I've been waiting a while for another !
9046234
Thanks I make those corrections soon.
I’m a tad disappointed in myself that this chapter wasn’t longer. The next chapter coming soon going to be bigger. I got some things that going to happen at the Castle.
9046703
If no one else will come forward I would be more than glad to do the spelling checks in your stories... But I also think that even without an editor they are still really good and that you don't really need one.
9047852
Are you offering to help or offering just so you can read the next chapter earlier? lol just kidding.
9048000
No...I just felt kinda bad that no one has offered yet to help you edit/fix spelling errors
9048058
I only have two more chapters in mind for Mother Moon. Next Chapter going to be ----(A Pink Pony pounces and ties up the writer. "NO SPOILERS!")
You didn't even bother to change the errors that I told you about😞 ... I'm sorry I tried and I'm sad now.
- great chapter BTW 😊
What... I did unless I cut and pasted the wrong copy.
I look at my files I remember doing the edits.
9062492
I did change the errors you found sometimes rewrote the whole sentence.
That bit with Sea berry made me happy and literally cry when the fish vanished
9078441
Yeah poor Sea Berry. I needed another foal in the therapy room. But don’t be sad the nurse now knows how to get her out of her shell. I visualize her growing up to be an oceanographer and visiting the sea ponies.
I don't know how to feel about this chapter: Happy? Sad? Well it was a good chapter nonetheless
9079111
This chapter was hard to put together. There was a few things I needed to include for the next two chapters. Boulder Dash is one of them, Star Shine’s first friend. She get a second at her welcome home party named Cream Puff. The second thing appears next chapter involves Doctor Gentle Wind.
I also took the opportunity to have Discord point out that Luna black splotch didn’t vanish during the Tirek episode. In a Royal Problem episode we see the splotch go to Celestia. So it’s part of Luna’s Cutie Mark.
Bonus points if you found the two Pixar reference!
I dropping one chapter the next will be the last. I be working on it Thursday and hopefully post Friday.
I can go over this chapter with you when you come over tomorrow.
A few spelling errors, nothing too major. Continuing on.
That makes me really sad to hear that... but I accept your decision and can wait to see what u do next.
9325482
Got a final chapter. Nothing great it more of a paragraph. It short and sweet and I think ends it nicely.
Hmm yeah everything just happens too fast. This story would be a lot more interesting if you slowed down and went into more detail.
9380173
I think that one of my problems. I get so many ideas I rush. Thanks for the constructive criticism.
9380178
That's normal to have too many ideas. That's why it's important to take it slow. Take it from someone who has written 10k word chapters; if you want all your ideas included write a long chapter.
To quote Truth when it comes to nobility: "Politics how tiresome."
It is the truth from a certain point of view StarWars lover yay
also good story
At least Nanny McPhee wasn't there.
10509266
That might have been fun, but she shows up when you have no choice. That and Star Shine is a well behaved filly.
I would love if this was touched upon in the future, i.e the relationship between celestia and sunset.
10662447
It is an interesting story idea. However my story style has moved away from the mother Luna stories.
10662480
To be fair I wasn't referring to making a Luna story.
10736516
True, I think I was a bit too tire when I replied. I’m not planning on adding anything more to this story universe. It was a fun exploration of the Tantibus event, with a bit of soul searching for Luna.
6/10 Above average. Interesting idea but only ok execution.
10805612
Thank you for the honesty. I believe my writing style improved after this, at the very least my latest story has an editor to help refine my work.