• Published 3rd Jul 2018
  • 44,086 Views, 5,441 Comments

The Humble Prince - Lighting Ace



A man wakes up to find he's inhabiting the body of a cartoon horse who wasn't exactly Mister Popular, judging from how shocked the locals are when he says things like 'please' and 'thank you'.

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A Flickery Flame Of Fun (RB and BS)

As the party was getting into full swing, the prince decided to indulge himself with some of the games outside the building, which in other circumstances. One might think belonged on a carnival or in a grand festival. Yet for some unexplainable reason, they all blended right in with the Masquerade. And to the delight of many some games seemed to be exclusive to it. Like the costume competition, the golden mask lottery and even a bachelor type of contest where stallions asked mares to give them a feather off their mask- one that Scarlet personally insisted in adding.

Unfortunately for him, each time that he tried to approach any game, a group of mares seemed to materialize from nowhere, and they prevented the prince from even having the chance to try his luck. Trying to be as calm and polite as possible, the prince kept telling his fans to please allow him a chance to breathe. Yet his wishes seemed to be falling on deaf ears as the mares just kept talking and complimenting him on any single action he made down to even the steps he was taking.

"Ladies, ladies! Please, I'm serious. Could you please just give me five minutes alone?" The prince pleads once more, yet he was only met with the same result.

"Ok! move along! For pony’s sake, he's a stallion, not a piece of hayburger!" The prince heard a raspy female voice suddenly rang out. With some effort, the prince broke through the swarm of mares until he managed to see a pegasus mare with a mane and tail of fire, garbed elegant yet straightforward light blue dress which matched her mask. Forcing the mares to disperse near the prince, she flapped and arched her wings aggressively, much like a bird of pray when angered or threatened.

Much to the surprise of the prince, the display worked, and soon all the mares that were swarming him left, leaving the two alone. Of course, that was not before giving the mysterious mare the stink eye and a huff of indignation as they raised their noses into the air.

"That's it, keep it moving! Nothing to see here…bunch of harlots." The mare muttered the last part under her breath, her displeasure evident. Turning around to face the prince she continued. "You ok prince?"

"Yes, thanks for that. I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed." Blueblood responded gratefully. "How exactly did you do that? I have been trying to shake off those mares all evening, but nothing I said or did seem to work." He inquires intrigued to hear the mare's response.

"Oh, it was nothing, just a mare thing." The mare in question responded with a wave of a hoof. "The name is Spitfire by the way." She then offered her hoof for a shake. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise, I would tell you my name, but I think that would be a bit redundant by now, right?" He replied back to her with a smile as he returns the gesture.

Spitfire laughed and nodded. "Yep, pretty much, Prince Blueblood." She answered as they end the hoof shake. "Also nice party dude, really. I have gone to both raves and fancy boring parties in the past, but this is the first time, I have seen both at the same time. It is definitely not a snoozefest, you got my seal of approval."

"Glad to hear it, say, miss, would you like to accompany me while checking out and partaking of the games this evening?"

She gasps and brings her hoof to her chest in mocking shock. "Your Highness! We've only just met, and you're already asking this poor maiden out on a date?!"

"What? No! I mean that is not…"

His objections are soon silenced when she openly laughs and shakes her head. "Oh relax Blue, I'm just yanking your tail." She assures him while wiping a tear of her eye. "And sure, I can hang out with you, in fact, it seems to me that you could use some protection in case more geese are lurking around." She says, getting next to him. "So don't worry, I got you covered. and if any mare gets frisky with you, I will gladly deck her, also drop the 'miss' thing, just call me Spitfire ok?" She announced, making the prince chuckle.

"Just deck them, that was a good one Spitfire."

"Yeah, I'm…not joking," Spitfire says with a serious tone.

"Wait, what?" The prince stared at her in shock.

"Like I told you, it a mare thing Blue. A lot of geese are here and without a mare near you to scare them away they will keep swarming you until you take one."

Again with that word, maybe Pinkie was right about me not understanding all the pony’s lingo yet.

"Don't worry I won't actually hit any mare that batts their eyelashes at you." Spitfire continues. "I will just let them know that I will if they get too friendly."

"Ah…well thanks, I guess." The prince responded, a bit unsure. "But if you insist on protecting me, could I ask what exactly do you mean by 'geese'?"

At that moment, Spitfire looked at the prince like he just grew a second head. "Are you kidding me? You don't know what a goose is?"

"The animal? Yes. The expression you are using right now? No." The prince answered honestly.

"Boy did the Princesses really keep you in the dark for way too long," Spitfire said, relaxing once more, before noticing a Princess Luna passing by and getting an idea that makes her smirk. "Tell you what, before I explain it, could you give me a solid?"

"Well sure, what do you need?"

"Oh, nothing too big." She points at Princess Luna. "Just let me stay by your side while you ask her the same question you asked me."

The prince looked at the princess and then back to Spitfire with a raised eyebrow. "Why?"

"Trust me, it will be awesome." She says, barely containing her laugh.

Reading her expression, the prince pondered his options before deciding to play along, for now. So with a shrug, he merely nods, and they both move to go see his aunt.

"Aunt Luna?" The prince calls her attention by poking her left side.

"Oh! Nephew, so glad to see you" Luna greets him with a smile. "I have to say, this party is a complete success, I haven't seen so many of our subjects enjoying my night like this in far too long, and I owe it all to you." She said before bringing him in for a hug.

"Well, I can't take all the credit. Scarlet and Pinkie were the masterminds that made this party possible." The prince responded to her while returning the gesture. "But enough of that. I actually wanted to ask you something, if it's not too much of a bother."

"Oh of course! What can I do for you, nephew?"

"Well I was wondering, do you by any chance, know what a goose is?" He asks with a raised eyebrow.

The princess of the night just looks at him confused "Ah…that is a type of bird." She answered.

"What? Oh no, no. I didn't mean the actual definition." The prince corrected her as she went to serve some punch on a nearby table. "What I meant to say was, when referring to a mare, what is a goose?"

Luna's eyes widened in surprise as she just spits her drink. In the near distance, they all could hear different princess having a similar reaction, causing Spitfire to burst into laughter. "Oh Celestia, my sides…I just…and in domino effect too?!… Oh my stomach…I…I just can't!" She continued to laugh while holding her stomach and sides, nearly losing her balance, if it weren't for the prince who caught her in time, she would have.

"I'm…ahmmm…" That is all the poor princess managed to say before Spitfire stopped her.

"Don't…Don't sweat it, princess." She tells her while cleaning her eyes from some tears and clearing her throat. "I got this, just wanted to see the reaction that is all." She explains before pulling the prince away.

"Ahmmm." The princess said again, not entirely sure of what just happened.

"Ok, I will say, that reaction was kind of funny." The prince admits with a small smile.

"Kind of? It was hilarious! But not as much as yours once I tell you what a goose really means." Spitfire tells him with a smirk.

"Oh boy."

"Ok Blue, here it comes. The term 'goose' when you're talking about a chick means that the mare only wants you to mount her."

"Oh, that is what it…wait, WHAT?!" The prince's eyes widened in shock as he looks at the mare who just nodded in confirmation. "Yep, they can't wait to bend over and spread their flanks for you to 'poke' them. If you catch my drift." She tells giving him a small elbow and a wink.

"I…just, so those mares…why? How…? So many questions."

"I'd imagine, and I was right, that was hilarious." Spitfire laughed again before composing herself once more. "Anyway, the reason for them to act like, well basically whorses, is because of what you are, or more importantly, what you represent. You are the last living relative of the princesses, after all, the last pureblood royalty of your lineage. Do you have any idea of what it represents if you ever get a 'bun in the oven.'"

"Oh no, please tell me is not that..."

"Afraid so dude, those mares just want a nice roll in the hay, and claim the title of 'mother of royalty,' you breed them. They can claim the title, and it’s all easy life for them. Since the princesses already do pretty much all the work in ruling this place and all that. Basically, your 'scepter' is the magic ticket for them to never have to work a day for the rest of their lives, geese desperately wanting to lay that sweet golden egg." Spitfire explained.

"Are all the innuendos really necessary?" The prince asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Would you prefer if I just simply say dick and pussy?"

"I…nevermind, the innuendoes are ok." The prince relents as Spitfire continues.

"That is what I thought, anyway. That's basically where the term comes from. It even gets more depressing." She continued as her expression got progressively more pensive and sad. "Since they already have the next of the lineage, they can file for divorce to get everything you have, and I mean everything and chances are…the court will side with the mare."

"That is terrible."

"You took the words right of my mouth Blue." She nods before smirking again. "So, do you still not want me to clean their clocks?"

"Fine, but only if they get 'too aggressive.'" The Prince remarked, deciding to just accept her help as placed on the condition.

Dear God, no wonder Aunt Luna was rendered speechless. At least a gold digger just wants money, those mares are just pure evil. The prince muses as they make their way toward some game stalls in the area.

"Ah, fair enough." She replies with a shrug. "Don't worry Blue." She bumps her flank against his. "Good old Spitfire's got your back." She comments jokingly.

"Thank you." The prince nodded in agreement as they approached a game of toss horseshoes. After paying the fee, the two started playing. "And since you offered to accompany for a while why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself Spitfire? What do you do for a living?"

"Oh, nothing big. I'm just the captain of this little group of expert fliers calls the Wonderbolts, perhaps you have heard of us." Spitfire comments, faking humility.

"Wait, you are the captain of that elite team?" The prince repeats in surprise. "But you are…"

"…Relaxed, easy going and calm?" She lists out with a knowing smirk.

"Ah well…ah…the thing is…" The prince tries to think of a way to save face before Spitfire just laughed again.

"Relax Blue, It happens all the time, ponies have this idea of a captain of some military group, and they think they are 'all business, and serious' ALL the time." She tosses the horseshoe "And yeah, that is how I usually am while I'm on duty, but I'm also a mare you know? It's different being in the field than here. Just like you act different between your aunts and your friends, or do you spend all day addressing everyone as 'aunts' or 'aunties'?"

"Ok, point taken, and wow mi…"

"Ah!" She stops him with her hoof. "What did I say about the 'misses'?"

"Sorry about that. Force of habit, and what I was saying is thank you for your service." He tells her with a smile, which to his confusion just made her groan. "Please don't make the salute."

"Why?"

"I told you, I'm off duty now, and I'm sick of ponies thinking that they need to be formal with me just because I have a military job." She looks at him with a serious face. "Just because I'm the captain of the wonderbolts doesn't mean that that is all I am. I mean, I love my job, and I love serving the crown, but that is just a part of who I am." She comments in sadness. "I thought you of all the ponies here would understand that, even more with the whole point of this party."

"I'm sorry, Spitfire, I didn't mean to offend. I just well it's kind of the second time meeting a member of the wonderbolts, and well, the first one wasn't exactly a quiet experience."

That piqued her interest. "Let me guess, Rainbow Dash?"

"How did you…?"

"Because the mare is possibly the only pony that loves the job more than I do, and of course, she will make it a pretty big deal about it." She confides him with some laughs. "I don't blame her though, its an awesome job and she is still wet behind the ears, but at the end of the day it's still just a job."

"Yeah, I can see that now, and don't worry, I get it now. No talking about the job while off duty."

"Thanks, Blue. That is the only thing I ask." Spitfire nods at him before giving him a stuffed teddy bear she just won. "Have a teddy."

"Oh?" He looks to the side and sees she already won the game when the prince only tossed a single horseshoe. "When did you…?"

"You snooze you lose!" She responds with a chuckle. "Now come, let see what other game I can destroy you in.”

Blueblood just chuckles and shake his head. "Oh, it’s on!"

For the next couple of hours, both of them spent the night playing the games in their silent competition, trying to see who could win more prizes. The prince did manage to put up a fair fight, yet it was clear that Spitfire had this in the bag, as she just kept winning every game they played.

"Damn, why can't I beat you in at least one?" The prince asks himself in disappointment as they both carried a mountain of plushies and dolls that they distributed mostly to nearby children.

"Simple, I'm just that awesome, but don't feel bad, you gave me a good fight for your first time." Spitfire bragged before noticing that the prince kept two dolls with him, one plushie of a cat and another of a dog. "Want to keep those two?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Nah I just wanted to give them to my aunts as a present." The prince replied. "I know it sounds corny, but I want to give them something as a way to say thanks for letting me throw this party."

"Dude, corny is being nice," Spitfire comments with a shrug. "But, if that is what you want, suit yourself." She then smiles at him. "The Prince has a sensitive side? To tell you the truth, I would never have imagined seeing that from you. Specifically, I would say something but being brave enough to show it in public takes a lot of guts."

The prince just chuckles. "What can I say, we all have an inner child in us. It nice to let them out from time to time."

"Yeah, not me though. I'm just pure awesome, even when I WAS a filly, there is nothing in this world that can make me act like a kid." She replied with confidence.

"Well, it's certainly refreshing, hearing a mare when she talks with such bravado." A voice behind the pair rang out and when they turned. They saw Tempo approaching them.

While the prince looked at her slightly confused as to who she might be, Spitfire's eyes widened in complete shock. "The will to take charge and be sure of all of your decisions is a trait that the captain of the wonderbolts must possess after all." Tempo continued talking as she reaches the two.

"You…you are..." Spitfire was rendered speechless by the presence of the mare. Which confused the prince, but before he could voice his concern, the mare spoke to him.

"Oh my dear boy just look at you, all grown up." She tells with a familiar motherly smile which the prince only had seen before with his aunts. "You grew up to be the spitting image of your father."

"Ah…you knew my father miss?" The prince asked and gulped, confused and surprised at what she just said, having to remember himself that she wasn't talking to the same person.

Tempo just looked at him in sadness. "You don't even remember that? Or did Celestia decided to keep that from you too?" She sighed and shook her head. "I suppose it doesn't matter now, what is done is done." She then smiled again. "Allow me to start again my name is…"

"You are Crossfire Tempo!" Spitfire finally manages to yells while pointing at her before screaming and jump in place like a fan filly. "The legendary, ex-captain of the Wonderbolts Crossfire Tempo! Oh my gosh, I'm talking with the legendary Crossfire Tempo right now!" her gaze focused on Blueblood with an unnerving intensity. "Blue, slap me! Right here in the check." She tells pointing to her face. "Please, help me confirm that I'm not dreaming right now."

"T-there is no need for that," Tempo called, lowering Spitfire’s hoof and trying to de-escalate the situation, as she smiles at her. "We all grown up ponies here, right Ms. Spitfire?"

In that instant, Spitfire realizes what she just said and coughed to the side with a fluorescent blush on her face. "Y-yeah, you are right." She clears her throat once more and attempts to regain her composure once again. "It is an honor to meet a such a legend in person."

Understanding what happened now, the prince starts to chuckle but Spitfire point at hoof at him "Not. A. Word."

He remained silent and looked away, but his smile continued to grow.

"Shut up!" Spitfire yelled at him in annoyance.

"Live by the sword, die by the sword honey." The prince finally states, but before Spitfire could retort back, Tempo spoke up once more.

"Anyway, as I was saying, yes my complete name is Crossfire Tempo, but today I go simply by Ms. Tempo. And as for you, you can call me Aunty Tempo". She offers to the prince with a smile. Not far away from them, the real princess Celestia could see their conversation as it unfolded while serving herself a drink. Everything was perfectly fine, right until Tempo called herself 'Aunty.' The drink in her hoof immediately started to boil, and everything around the monarch began to heat up. The air itself began to distort as waves of heat radiated away from the solar monarch. Within this tightly controlled but slowly growing radius of wrath, cloth began to smoke and the cup held in Celestia's hoof, a beautiful work of silver began to melt.

The enraged solar princess began to make her way toward the group, but to their luck or misfortune, Luna intervened and blocked her way.

"Tia..."

"Not... now... Lulu. There is something I must…" Celestia growled out, but her sister would have none of that as she put her hoof on her breastplate, which had begun to glow a dangerous cherry red around the edges. "Outside. Now."

"But I need-" Her protest was cut off when Luna charged her horn and without warning teleported the two outside the castle. Some staff looked at the condition Celestia left the place and began to extinguish the fires as fast as possible, the guards providing some assistance. All the while Sharp Shot admired the whole show while leaning against a column and eating a piece of cake.

The queens just left the board.

He then turns his attention to the prince who was looking at Tempo with a raised eyebrow. Now, for the bishop?

"Excuse me?" The prince asked, confused by what she just said.

"Perhaps this could help you understand things better." She then takes out a small picture from her dress and handed it over. Once the prince looked at the photo, he was left just as flabbergasted as Spitfire was when they saw the childlike visage of the prince and a younger Tempo.

"I'm your godmother, sweetie." Tempo tells them both with a smile. "Picked by your mother herself."

"I…I just-" The prince tries to process what was happening yet his surprise paled in comparison to Spitfires, whose brain was in complete overdrive. "You are Crossfire Tempo's godchild?! The legend of the wonderbolts is your godmother?! I…she…you, I just…I just…" It was too much for the poor mare as she passed out from the shock.

"Spitfire!" Blueblood catches her, but her body weight and the awkward angle of the catch was too much for him alone, and he starts to lose his own balance. Tempo though quickly came to his aid. Stabilizing Spitfire before scooping her up placing her on her back. "You know, I imagined this going completely different." She said with a tired smile.

"Poor mare, we need to take her to the infirmary and…" Blueblood began to plan out loud only for Tempo to stop him by lifting a hoof "Please dear, allow me. You stay here."

"But I…"

"As touching your concern for her is Blueblood, and it really is. Something tells me that right now you need a moment to breathe, am I wrong?"

The prince just looks down in sadness. "Don't be so sad sweetie." Using her wing Tempo lifted his head. "We both have been tricked by the words of the princesses."

"Tricked?"

Before he could say anything else, Tempo turned around and trotted away. "I will take care of your marefriend sweetie, you just worry in calming down and organizing your thoughts." She calls before disappearing among the crowd with Spitfire. The prince remained confused about what was happening and decided to walk toward a nearby balcony to analyze what he just experienced while holding his head in pain.

As expected a significant number of guards followed Tempo as she looks for the infirmary, smirking Sharp Shoot finished his plate and stretched.

Not what I expected, but by far, better Sharp Shot smiled malevolently as he walked in the opposite direction of the prince, knowing full well that guards were following and effectively leaving Blueblood completely vulnerable, and ready to be a struck down by his associates. Check!

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