• Published 3rd Jul 2018
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The Humble Prince - Lighting Ace



A man wakes up to find he's inhabiting the body of a cartoon horse who wasn't exactly Mister Popular, judging from how shocked the locals are when he says things like 'please' and 'thank you'.

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Tectonic Scale News (RB, GT4 And BF)

Once they both ensured that nopony would be eavesdropping, along with casting various sound and vision spells in Blueblood’s room, the Princess of the Night turned to her nephew-in-law. "That will suffice; nopony will be able to hear us now," she murmured as she stood next to Shining Armor.

"Perfect, now we can finally talk properly," Shining nodded.

"Indeed. Now, what exactly am I looking at, Shining Armor?" Princess Luna asked him as they both stared at Blueblood’s bed.

Before responding, the prince walked towards the bed and pulled off the sheets and cover, revealing a hidden sweat stain in the perfect shape of a pony. "Our crime scene, as well as Blueblood’s cause of death," Shining replied, pointing at the stain.

The princess looked at the spot and raised an eyebrow. "You believe that he was...dehydrated to death?"

"At first I thought so, yeah, since this seems like the only thing unusual in the room. But things didn’t add up. First, why didn’t the maids clean the sheets? The bed’s made and everything, but the stain’s still there. And no matter how you look at it, it just seems like Blueblood had sweat a lot, but this level of sweat is ridiculous. With all the fur on our body, we just couldn't make this much. Heck, not even during my trips to Saddle Arabia have I ever sweat so much. I’ve even talked to some of the guards, and they’ve confirmed that there wasn’t any sudden heat waves in the past few months, so it’s not that either. And that is when I found out that this wasn’t sweat at all, but something else.”

He looked at the sweat stain again and used his magic to levitate a spray bottle and a piece of paper. He then sprayed the paper with some liquid and pressed it against the stain. Seconds later, the paper turned pink and he presented it to the princess with a serious expression. "It’s blood disguised as sweat. That’s why the stain didn’t get removed during the wash, because blood is extremely hard to clean."

"By my stars!" Luna’s eyes widened as she looked at the blood stain, which had a perfect shape of her nephew. "All of that…is blood? But how? Doctor Caliber didn't find any injuries or poison in his system, and the maids would have found the blood on the bed sheets. How could that have been hiding?"

"That’s the thing, princess. Like I said, it’s disguised as sweat. When I investigated the room, I didn't find any forced entry on the door or the windows, there wasn't any magic residue other than the maid's levitation, and as far as I’ve gathered, there hasn’t been any unusual activity in the guard schedule patrolling. Whoever did this simply walked in, released some type of poison, and left as the prince literally sweated blood until he perished from anemia, while the poison most likely diluted or evaporated," the prince explained with a grim face and a shiver. "It must’ve been an exotic poison too, since it also made all his blood look like simple sweat to the naked eye, AND after finishing its job returned his body to relatively normal, leaving no trace behind. My guess is that it was airborne and was unleashed here, so it could only work in closed spaces. Otherwise the guards on duty securing his door would have suffered as well. That, or his food was drugged and it required the victim to fall asleep before attacking. In either case, it was a clean job."

"My nephew… he died while sleeping," the princess whispered in horror. "I could’ve saved him if only I had noticed." She shook her head in guilt and looked at Shining Armor with a serious expression. "Good job, Shining Armor. We finally have our first clue, now we know how to start." She started to levitate the sheets off the bed. "I'm going to send this to the royal lab for analysis. With any luck, there is still some residue of the original poison on it. In the meantime, I need you to continue digging around among the royal guards and the staff on duty during that night. No matter how subtle it was, some pony must have heard or seen something unusual during that night. We need to find more clues."

"Will do," Shining nodded, giving her a salute. "But at least with this we can be sure of something. The killer must have known what they were doing, has the means to acquire something illegal and most likely expensive, and has a good understanding and layout of the castle.”

“So we can cross out the middle and lower classes in almost all of Equestria,” said Luna.

Shining nodded. “Which leaves only the staff on duty that night…"

"And the upper class in Canterlot," Luna finished for him, looking down in thought while glaring. "I see what you’re saying, Shining, and I agree. We have just reduced three quarters of our suspect list, and with the reports my spies have given me, I believe we can narrow that list down even more. We’re close to catching the killer now, but we still need to tread lightly if we intend to grab them by surprise." Her horn then lit up as she prepared a teleportation spell.

Shining nodded and headed to the front door. "Then I’ll be heading back to work. I think it's time I go hit the bar with some buddies of mine." He then started to smirk. "I'm sure some cider will help them clear their heads and tell me anything unusual they’ve seen.”

"Best of luck," Luna commented as she teleported away with the sheets as Shining left the room.


Days later, in the Court of Canterlot

With the surprise of the addition of changelings into nobility still running through the populace, Princess Celestia had no other option but to delay Fort Knox’s trial, at least until things calmed down a little to avoid associating them with his arrest. Luckily for her, with the aid of the Element of Laughter and some well-placed tidbits of news and parties in Canterlot, the unification of Changelings and nobility proceeded as smoothly as putting on a horseshoe.

And now that one problem was over and done with, the other could be easily taken care of.

Even though it was inevitable for the news to be made public almost immediately, the trial of Fort Knox finally arrived without raising any rumours and, despite his connections and lawyers, the outcome was as clear as day. He would be found guilty of high treason, illegal possession and selling of contraband, attempted murder, and regicide. There was no way for him to escape, and his only remaining option was a bargain for a reduced sentence. Yet, despite being cornered and about to be sentenced, the stallion in question remained calm and collected during the entire trial, even when his lawyer quit in frustration in the middle of it, leaving the poor stallion to fend for himself. That calm demeanor was almost unsettling, and it was certainly irking the princesses, who acted as the judges during the whole ordeal.

Hitting her gavel a couple of times, the Princess of the Day once again called for order in the court as she proceeded with the sentence of Fort Knox, with the representative for the jury standing up to deliver their verdict.

A bespectacled mare stood up and cleared her throat. “Pon complete consideration of the evidence and...admittedly rather short deliberation, we declare the accused guilty, Your Honor.”

“Very well.” The princess nodded to the jury before looking at the condemned stallion in question. One of his eyes was still swollen, his left forehoof was in a cast, and he was currently wearing a neck brace…all painful reminders of his last fight against Blueblood. “Mister Fort Knox, before I proceed with your sentence, I will grant you one final moment to speak. Is there one final thing you wish to declare?”

"Yes, Your Highness," the stallion announced before standing up. "Although I applaud your success in bringin’ me to justice, and I don’t deny the jury’s verdict, I'm afraid my case is worth a royal pardon." He smirked at the royal sisters in turn. "I'm just too valuable for ya to put away." With that, he sat back and watched as the room descended into mild chaos. Ponies throughout the entire room exploded into a series of harsh whispers and muffled boos of displeasure. Soon the whispers rose to a dull roar, and some of the ponies began to stand up from their chairs to protest Fort Knox’s sudden declaration.

Celestia was quick to try to rectify the situation, as she slammed her gavel down repeatedly to restore the peace. "Order! We will have order!" she demanded. Nevertheless, her cries went unheeded, and soon two Ponies got into a small brawl when one of them accidentally shoved another into the side of his bench.

"SILENCE!" Luna bellowed in the Canterlot Voice, causing all voices to cease and all eyes to be turned towards her as silence once again fell upon the room. As Ponies returned to their seats, Fort Knox’s smirk grew wider.

Luna glared at him from her seat next to her sister, anger burning in her eyes. "How dare you demand such a request? What could you possibly have in your possession that makes you so sure that you can have a pass from these kinds of transgressions?"

Fort Knox chuckled and looked at them with a raised eyebrow. "Ain't it obvious, Your highness? I'm the Duke of Information and Goods not only in Manehattan, but also in all of Equestria. My business goes far and wide in the underworld, and if I was taken outta the picture, Equestria’s economy would tank!" he declared in confidence. "Makin’ dis sham of a trial public will risk our economy grindin’ to a halt, and keepin’ quiet means dat ya have no right to arrest me. How’s dat for some final words?"

"Why you…" Luna growled, beginning to lose her patience.

Celestia put a wing in front of her and shook her head, turning to Fort Knox with a stern expression. "Your threats are worthless here, Fort Knox. This is not the first time others have tried to intimidate us with wealth, and it will not be the last. We are already aware of all your deals and contacts you could possibly offer us, and their arrests will not even faze Canterlot."

The smile on Fort Knox’s face wavered slightly, as the princess smirked in victory. "You have nothing of worth, so now it's time for your sentence,” she continued. “Fort Knox, for your actions against the crown and crimes against Equinity, I sentence you to be exiled and taken to Gelid Maiden for life. Your rights as an Equestrian citizen will be completely revoked, and you will be cursed so that any attempt in returning to your homeland will result in your transformation into a statue forever." No longer repressing her grin, she added for finality: "If you return and are destroyed as a statue, you will be classified as nothing more than an object, like the same objects that you yourself bargained with.” She looked to the guards standing near her. "Guards, take him."

Fort Knox growled and stood up, slamming his forehooves on the railing in front of his stand. "Wealth ain’t the only thing Ii’ve got, princess. My web of information goes even further dan the Badlands, perhaps we can negotiate a deal," he revealed as guards began to surround him.

Celestia raised an eyebrow in disbelief, and Fort Knox’s demeanor slowly started to crack as his mind raced to find a way out. "Your nephew!" he yelled at last.

Instantly the room grew colder, and the gazes of both monarchs hardened. "Choose your next words carefully, my friend," Luna warned him, venom dripping from her words.

"I know ‘bout crimes he’s committed in the past! Times where he abused his status for shallow reasons. More dan enough to give ya a reason to lock him up for good! If ya put me away, I’ll spill dem beans, and den ya will regret your decision today. Do ya really wanna take dat chance? Soil dat precious, perfect image of yours as rulers?"

"They don't have to risk anything, Fort,” said Blueblood, speaking for the first time during the trial as he stood up from his seat next to his guards. "Just like I promised at the press conference, I'm a changed stallion now, and as such, I’ll make up for all my past sins. Every single one of them." He pointed to Fort Knox. "The only thing you’ll be doing is giving me a 'To Do' list, so go ahead and make my day. Expose my secrets, I command you."

Fort Knox’s jaw dropped. "W-what?! Are ya serious? Do ya have any idea what ya are demandin’? Your title will be dragged through the mud, ponies will see how wicked and twisted ya really were. Nopony will ever trust ya!"

"Then I’ll build up that trust from scratch," the prince replied evenly, shrugging.

"Enough of this prattle! Guards, take him away!" Luna ordered, and the guards complied, grabbing Fort Knox by his shoulders and forelegs and hauling him away, dragging his hind legs along the floor.

As they did, Fort Knox reached out, his gaze pleading. "No, wait! Princess, listen, I'm tellin’ ya, ya need to reconsider! I'm more useful here dan in Gelid Maiden! Please, I’m beggin’ ya!"

"There’s nothing you can offer that will be of interest for us," Celestia stated coldly as she and her sister stood up. Celestia raised her gavel to slam it down one final time. "Case clo--"

NOT EVEN INFO ON PONIES PLANNIN’ A REGICIDE?!" Fort screamed, fighting off the guards.

The room went completely silent and still as Celestia looked up from her gavel to the guilty stallion, her gavel just a hair’s breadth away from striking. "What...did you just say?"

"Ya heard me, dere are dose dat wish to destroy the royal family for one reason or another, Your Highness." He looked at Blueblood with a glare. "Some even with justified reasons..." He then looked back at the princesses. "If ya’d be willin’ to reduce my sentence, I’ll give ya a big ol’ list of ‘em. My safety in exchange for yours, what d’ya say? It's a good deal, huh?"

Both Luna and Celestia glowered at him outwardly, but inwardly they had joined minds in a telepathic debate.

Sister, he might know about the case! One of the ponies on the list might be the one that killed Blueblood!

Relax Luna, we can't be too hasty…it could easily be a scheme to save his skin. Yet we can’t just let the opportunity go to waste.

With a sigh, Celestia shook her head. "Guards, bring him forward,” she ordered and put the gavel down. The monarchs looked at Fort Knox intently as he settled back into his seat.

"This is a serious matter you are claiming, Fort Knox; you’d better be telling the truth. Lying to us now will result in an even worse punishment," Luna warned him, causing him to gulp.

"I'm dead serious, Your Highness,” he replied as calmly as possible. “At the moment, all of ‘em are all bark and no bite since all of ya are here, but as we speak, dey could be preppin’ for somethin’ big."

Celestia closed her eyes and weighed her options before opening them once more. "In light of such a revelation, we are willing to...reconsider the weight of your punishment."

"Oh, thank ya," Fort Knox sighed in relief.

But Celestia wasn’t done. "Don’t relax yet, Fort Knox. We will not be granting you a pardon, only reducing your sentence. This sentence will be final today, but can be revoked and changed again depending on the information you give us, so I would be very open and cooperative if I were you." She lifted her gavel once more. "Your sentence will be as follows: you will be given a will to write down the name and location of a pony you trust. Choose carefully, for that pony will be entrusted with looking after you for the next fifty years, while you will be trapped in a small, silver statuette of yourself."

Luna pitched in after that. "During that time, we will investigate and arrest the names on the list of traitors you will provide. This shall be your only warning, Fort Knox: if even one name turns out to be false, you will not be given a fifty-year sentence inside a silver statuette. Instead, it will be five hundred years inside a wooden one, and if the pony and their descendants decide to get rid of you or if you are destroyed by any means, your death will be recorded as ‘lost object’."

Fort Knox’s blood froze upon hearing about his punishment as Celestia hit the gavel at last. "Case closed,” she said. “Guards, take the prisoner back to his cell. Fort Knox, you have twenty-four hours to decide on a will and who will be entrusted with your safety. Get to it." With that, she, her sister, the jury, and everypony else in the courtroom began to file outside.


The verdict soon spread like wildfire throughout Equestria, and ponies everywhere were shocked when they discovered the truth of the matter. His family had broken down in tears once they received the news of how far their son had gone, and even old clients were completely terrified at the implications of his arrest.

As for Upper Crust and Jet Set, after reading the story about the trial in the newspaper, they wasted no time in sweeping their mansion from top to bottom, looking for anything that could associate them with Fort Knox. Just to be extra safe, they also made sure that there was nothing he might have given them that could be suspicious, including grinding a porcelain vase he had given them for Jet Set’s birthday into powder and dumping it into several different fountains.

When it was done, Upper Crust looked to her husband and wiped her forehead. "Okay Jet, I think that’s all of it. Are you completely sure that we got rid of everything?"

"Uhh…um…" Jet Set looked around their house in worry until Upper Crust grabbed his shoulder and shook him.

"Answer me, Jet! Did we or did we not?!"

"Yes, yes!"

"Good! Now remember, we’re the representatives of the upper class, sweetie, so we must remain calm, cool and collected,” she said to him, but it sounded like it was meant for herself. "We didn't try anything against Blueblood, we’re not traitors to the crown, and we’re not accomplices of any criminals...we’re just two more helpless victims of the nobility who were tricked by that brutish thug." She looked at their reflection and smoothed out her dress.

Jet Set approached his wife. "You’re right, honey, there’s nothing to be afraid of." He gave her a smile and kissed her cheek. "By Celestia, how I envy your confidence sometimes..."

"It's a gift from my lineage," she chirped with pride.


Meanwhile, in her own mansion, Scarlet had already finished reading the news and was cutting out part of the article. "So, old Forty just got himself arrested like the idiot he is. Well, that’s just what he gets for hurting my sweet, handsome prince..." She then looked at the image of Blueblood with dreamy eyes and drew a heart around it with lipstick. Oh, my poor, brave prince...don’t worry, mama’s gonna make sure to kiss ALL your little booboos goodbye.

She then kissed the image, leaving a mark, and then pasted the article against the wall where other images of Blueblood were spread around like a shrine. She bowed her head to a great painting of his handsome visage, then sniffed the air with a contented sigh, letting the scent of Blueblood’s favorite cologne fill her lungs.

And then I’ll make sure you’ll be mine...


Meanwhile, in a spa resort in Appleloosa...

Sharp Shot took a glance at the article before he resumed drinking his cider.

"Anything good?" a female voice called from behind him.

"Fort Knox just got himself arrested, the moron," he calmly replied.

"Knox...Knox...Knox?" the mare kept repeating to herself. Sharp Shot turned to look at a very plump pegasus mare who, with her light grey mane, overly big wings, and straight and short mane and tail, looked like a living pillow. She leaned on a sofa while sunbathing near a pool, the two being the only ponies at the place. "Did I know him? Ah, doesn't matter, I’ll just ask Blueblood once he comes again," she said with a smirk, making Sharp Shot roll his eyes as he turned back to his drink.


In a cave near the Badlands...

Two hooded ponies walked inside, guided by the light of their torches, as they approached a room in the heart of the cave that was lit from a lone light bulb. Inside the room sat a pony that could very well have been Blueblood’s twin had it not been for his black mane and tail as well as being an earth pony. He jumped slightly as they entered, before smiling and then sitting down at a wooden table in the middle of the room.

"Well, hello there,” he greeted them with a serene smile. "Sorry for the mess, but...well…" He motioned around the room with a hoof. “I don’t get many visitors these days. Not for quite some time, in fact.”

The hooded ponies looked around the room and stared as they beheld hundreds of dolls of Blueblood ripped to pieces, with the words 'die Blueblood, die' engraved and painted on the walls everywhere. Also spread around the room were dozens of wanted posters, each having daggers stabbed into the faces. All sorts of weapons were spread around on the floor, as well as the recently shredded newspaper.

He looked back at them, his teeth beginning to show themselves in his smile. "So, what can I do for you? Anypony you want me to collect?" he asked, his mannerisms disturbingly friendly.

The hooded ponies looked at one another before showing him a wanted poster with the image of Prince Blueblood on the front.

The mysterious stallion’s right eye twitched and his grin grew even more, now making him more like he was possessed than friendly. He grabbed the poster with his forehooves and examined it further, before placing it down on the table. "You have my undivided attention, my friends. Come, come! Let's talk pricing. What about the special of the day, first one free, hmmm?"

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