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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A bit short for my taste, but I like the style of the story and has is very original. Good job pal, but I suggest you to maybe split the text a bit more. There are some really big chunks of text that would be better of if they were cut into two pieces. and maybe make a sentence every time they think of say something?
Ok first chapter, a little short but interesting.
Having read the story it's based on I will keep an eye on this, that said i'm not up to date on the base story as it goes really weird.
I greatly approve, minor errors, easy to ignore.
Am I the only one who thought that the pony was cadence and thinks that the Noble was Blueblood?
Spider bread? That will be popular.
Isn't the pony a bit too trusting I mean she is a slave
9023283
Do you want to betray & fight against a giant spider who killed a scorpion by ramming its stinger in its head and mouth?
9023687
No but that doesn't mean she has to trust him yet the spider killed the giant Scorpion shouldn't she be at least a bit afraid?
Yes, Nom the all!!!
To get a better idea, I would like to know how big the his spiderform is, I haven't started reading it yet. Is it a normal spider or a giant Monster Spider?
9034759
He carried a mare on his back
9034759
About 3 or 4 feet tall when walking like a spider does if the humans in the manga are average size.
Hmm... whether to ask for spooder eggs or not...
9034806
9035018
okay thank you, I decited to take a look at the comic yesterday. I meant manga.
HHhhhhhmmm not sure if I like the main char yet, but nothing really bad was shown so far. His personality just seems already different from that one in the manga I saw. I mean this story works without the aditional pictures, but the main char also makes me remember a few Anons that I hated.
So far it is just a memory and nothing really bad I can say about him.
I only put that here, because I kind of hope his personality isn't focusing on that. Otherwise he will be one of the 2.000 Anons or other main chars here that focus on how the babes look and their swearing. It's a little bit like half of the soldier or street kids main chars.
Just to be clear, as long as this isn'T everything he is, I don't mind it if he notice something he likes. I admit trough, that I would prefer it if he is a bit more picky than characters like Sanji from one piece which nearly run after every lady.
I like it so far, I voiced my concerns, but I like it.
I know it is to soon to actually judge his character yet, but I don't know how much you have already written, when the next chapter is coming out, or if the next chapters already show how bad or good he actually is.
I'm a bit dissapointed there was no language barier and he learned to speak because of a skill later.
Not sure if a similar group doesn't exist already, but I guess in this chase it focuse on reincarnations, maybe you should make it focus on game characters or something? This sounds still pretty similar to the groups that feature "getting turned into" this and that stories.
Well despite my wish for the language barrier this was good and my fears from the last chapter weren't comfirmed yet.
I will see where you go with the slavery, I admit some of those stories aren't my thing if they go into to much detail of the suffering sometimes.
I don't go into detail right now that would take more time than I have at the moment.
9022791
I thought of Blueblood at least.
9024325
I think I agree with you, I actually could image her more just going with him while shaking the whole time or thinking he would just want to trick her and eat her later. I think at least him being a talking Spider is still something unique there and not exactly an accepted species or how you say it. You know like griffons or zebras.
Being intelligent or not, I kind of expected her to ask why he knows about those species in a world he hasn't seen yet.
After her reaction in the last chapter this questions looks akward because it seems to come in the wrong moment, which should have been earlier I suppose.
I kind of hope he is Starswirls the "not in this universe at the moment" one.
hhhmmmm it didn't had to be the same enemy like in the manga, a giant rat or an stray and could have worked to I suppose. Maybe a monster fly or bird.
I kind of hope that even if they are maybe angry that they would listen to Baked goods after a short while and aren't feel like NPCs just attacking the main char withotu having a brain to think with if you know what I mean.
I hope that at some point or in a sequel they both can leave the cave and he finds someone to live with at some point.
I also hope StarSwirls is either going to play only a small part or isn't really important here.
edit: otherwise this is a good enough story so far, I still have my hopes high.
9036584
No, The OC Spider asked if their dogs made of diamonds and Baked Goods explained what are they
9036711
for a moment I was confused what you meant, but I guess that part of my comment wasn't clear enough either.
I'm pretty sure he acted a few times or said a few times stuff that he shouldn't know, at least if he wants to pretend he didn't had a life before this one.
I like this, a few grammatical errors but overall story looks good, hope for good things
I just reached a certain part in the manga, where I hope you won't add an administrator or maybe not exactly two voices in his head. I mean at least not in the way the manga did it. I don't want it to happen all the time is what I mean.
know the manga, lets try the fimfic
Who else loves this?
Do you have a picture or something, because I'm not sure how a high orc or dark orc is supposed to look like.
Really nice so far, I hope once he notice the risk of evolving alone he is maybe looking for one of them and maybe evlove in their home for protection or something like that. I bet I said it the last time, but I get the odd feeling of wanting him to go with them.
While he is somewhat focused on the woman or at least knows what he likes, he isn't overdoing it so far, this way I can really enjoy it without it getting annoying. It was just a bit cliche if you can call it like that, that he was everything that one maybe consider not being a nice catch "good with woman" as far as I understood him.
Then again it's sadly true that there exist some that only go for nice cars and stuff like that, I actually had someone like that in our class who joke or not told it when we spoke in the class about it, for some reason the teacher asked everyone.
It'd be ironic if she gets a skill called 'Alcohol resistance' making it hard to get drunk as it levels up.
9038979 (comment in the same vein)
PLEASE DO!! OWO
This is surprisingly good, can't wait for the next update.
Why did she hug the giant spider.
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She had shackles on her since she was a slave.
Maybe it would be weird if they don't know about evolving, but I liked the idea of them being suprised about it.
I hope that is not a real thing in the manga and I still hope they can get him out of there, that would be a bit dissapointing if he "has" to stay there all his life.
I get it that this is probably the fastes way of making him earn some skills, but I fear that this means he is a good portion of the story trapped in this dungeon. This is not bad itself, but yep I would have prefered it if he leaved the house with the others.
I either hope for a sequel or a really long story, since I want to see him outside too and that for a huge amount of time.
I just can'T decite if I would want him to reach a certain form before he meets them again or if he should reach that evolution after a certain occasion when he is meeting them again.
It will take some time to leave I bet. I wonder if they will recognizes Skills when they meet again
Spider bread made by spiders for spiders from spiders
9161550
Not exactly, bread in shape of a spider. Made by a pony baker.
Dont lose hope all you gotta do is beat the boss then you can leave. Right?
(it sounds like an awesome idea huh huh huh)
If you like this kind of stories then you Have to read the "Snake Report" on Reddit.
The Chapter was great, as usual. I especially liked how Skills acted in such dangerous situations.
Another great chapter
I love it!
Another great chapter! I always enjoy seeing new stuff from you.
the world map will be very helpful later
I love it
9161566
It was an undertale joke
9239708
I NEVER play that game nor will in a lifetime. It's not my type of RPG.
This is really awesome
I wonder if I’ll ever get to the mainland of and mete the mane 6