- Member Since 2nd Jun, 2018
- offline last seen Aug 9th, 2018
Epsilon_Eleven
Ordinary guy who like to read, and listen to stories, history, or other kind of stuff. Greetings from Indonesia.
Epsilon_Eleven
Joined 2nd Jun, 2018 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Jackelope · 9.6k words · 485 26 · 13k views
- Horse Girls Are Watching · 40k words · 1,394 100 · 25k views
- Bendy · 3.7k words · 422 28 · 15k views
- nameundetermined · 4.3k words · 125 12 · 2.7k views
- slep · 9k words · 110 8 · 1.7k views
- MisterEdd · 4.7k words · 628 20 · 15k views
- Uh-hmmm · 42k words · 307 26 · 6.4k views
Featured In1
Stats
Page generated in 0.11 seconds
Total duration
880 users online
1,292,711 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
By the time I looked to see how much views, I've got on the last hour.
It got 69 Views.
PERFECT!!
9045256
Okay, just work on your grammar there are to many mistakes to count.
Generally speaking, you have all the parts. I read the entire thing, and there are many stumbles to work on.
The main problem appears to be a limited knowledge of word flow and grammar. I encourage you to review a few other stories, taking note of how things like word choice and arrangement are handled. Take it as a challenge to improve, as nobody starts out very good. Check out works by your favorite authors, Pony or not, in fact. Study what they are doing and use it.
Practice makes us all better. Most don't have the determination to post anything at all, so you're already stepping past some of the crowd.
The premise for this story is fine, the main problem is grammar.
Something I would recommend doing when writing in general is to reread it as you write and see if it makes sense to you. You'll find a lot of really obvious mistakes if you do that. Another thing I would recommend doing is ask a friend to proof read things you write. I personally think that having another set of eyes will help you find mistakes that you'll won't notice on your own.
9045382
9045483
9045368
Right... It was mentioned on the stories that I'm nowhere on an English speaking country, despite had a lot of different one lol.
Yep, I should get a proof-reader soon
Thank you
PS : I really shouldn't trust google translate on this xd
After some research on my Native Language, AKA Bahasa Indonesia.
I understand why my Grammar sucks. These English rule are difficult for any Indonesian, well for me at least.
We Indonesian used a lot more simple rules, so maybe that was the case of my Grammar problem.
No wonder I actually found no problem at my writings when I recheck and reread all of my stories. Because I'm used to write things on Indonesian language. We Indonesian used a lot more simplified Grammar rules. Unlike the English one, so yeah. Apologize.
Cheers anyway :P
I gotta give you props for trying. I can't even imagine trying to write something in another language.
If you really like to write in English, you just have to keep reading and writing. With practice, you'll get better. If you can find somebody to help you write, or to edit what you do write, even better. So keep trying. You can only get better.
very interesting story, good work, let there be more such stories
👍👌
I would like to see a sequel to this
This was a interesting story.