• Member Since 29th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen October 24th

Undyne Devotion


Fish Out Of Water. ⚔ ( Chatterbox Always Looking For A Fun Conversation! )

T

Total Rewrite Under Construction.

I just wanted to be alone, now after that night all has changed!

I don't want to be a Queen of anything!

I'm a man!

Now the body count is rising, I'm changing more and more everyday and...did I just lay an egg?

Slow TF/Gender/Species TF & Pregnancy...well egg laying etc.


Made Popular On 6/21/18.
Featured On 6/21/18.

Awesome Art By MickeyMonster

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 102 )

Let see where this goes

This is a great start to a story.
Love to see where you take this!
:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

oh this is good... I'll follow you :twilightsmile:

write more please :twilightsheepish:

8999564

8999542

8999543

Thank you, have had this idea bouncing around my head for a while.:applejackconfused:

You have my attention, author... let's see where you take this promising story

“I pray one day Chris, you’ll grow up and find a family.”

don’t you dare put that curse upon him

hey you got featured congrats

Slow TF/Gender/Species TF & Pregnancy...well egg laying etc.

Dammit, that hits like all my checkmarks for TF stories.

Some of the sentence wording is odd but it gets the point across. I'll keep an eye open to see how this goes.

8999584
Keep it up I'm already invested in the story in one chapter

Lab

Good to see somebody's adding to the too-small number of changeling TF's. I am curious to see more.

However, it could use an editor. Some of the sentences feel awkwardly worded and there are a fair bit of minor errors.

9000539

9000565

Would any of you know where to find an editor per chance? I'll hire one right away!

Hm... Very unusual start. Interesting. Even captivating. Keep on going.

BTW, try to use languagetoolplus.com before hiring and editor. ^_^ Helps quite a lot.

9001003
How so?
Are you a lime-colored lion with two heads? One of a jubjub and another one of bandersnatch. :rainbowderp:

9001041
Sadly no.

But I do have a snake where my arm should be, also my BFF is a Jabberwocky.

That and I have a crippling pain in my ninth deer head.:ajsleepy:

9001053
Oh, that might be at most one ninth unpleasant. :pinkiecrazy:
Hope that won't prevent you from wiggling another chapter with that snake of yours.

9001079
I have the second chapter readynow, just waiting for an editor to help me.

Or do you think I should post, then allow an editor to help me go back and fix chapters I posted?

Because I have no idea how long, finding an editor takes lol.

9001109
Well, that depends. Do you like returning back to your old chapters and fix typos mentioned in the comments or prefer release things when they ready and then return back later and fix typos mentioned in the comments? :derpytongue2:

9001109
Post it now it usually take a long time to find an editor. Then that person can help can help clean up the story. While reading it.

9001131
I have no problem going back and fixing stuff, I find it a bit fun to be honest. I guess I will just post updates as they come, I can always fix it when I find an editor or if people tell me what to fix in comments.

I'm swift at jumping on them quickly to fix what I can.:twilightsmile:

Always interested in a good TF/TG concept, but in this case the execution left a lot to be desired... I'll pass.

Featured again! :pinkiehappy:


This writers, is one of the reasons why requests can end up being a good thing. :yay:

9001182
Nah, send it over now and I can have it edited in no time.
I wouldnt mind helping for a chapter or two while you find one. Best way is to search the groups by "editor" then post your story and follow the rules. Also there is a discord to help find an editor. https://discord.gg/bJSneQ

9001283
Have a good passing!...wait that sounds like I want you to die.:applejackconfused:

I mean thank you for just giving it a look over, cups of tea are hard to find.

But we all have a certain taste.:twilightsmile:

9001289
I've joined The looking For Editors group, though no bites just yet.

Sounds like a plan, do you like to edit on Google Docs?

Or would you like me to send it another way etc?

This is all new to me, so give me a second to figure it all out.

Let's hope there isn't a nasty surprise waiting for him at home

9001388

I dunno, this guy sounds like he's the "nasty surprise" more than anything else around.

9001432
The let me change my comment.

*clearing throat*

Dinner's ready!!!

Good nod to The Mummy

9001454
:trollestia:

Also the game Pinkamena, the changeling attacks say they leave behind husks.

But true Mummy is a fave movie of mine, so I had the sight of what a husk should be.:rainbowlaugh:

Well... that was terrifying.

... May we have some more?

Hmm I kinda feel like the pacing got a bit quicker I mean ... You rushed a bit... Could you elaborate the situations more?... This kinda felt like two chapters cramped into one...
Don't get me wrong the story is still good but I think pacing wise would it have been better to split the chapter into two and elaborate more. Like the drive through the city to the store, the parking all the while finding little tidbits of changes ... Hurting... Confusion etc.
The morning feels like eternity for the MC so try to convey that to the readers....
...
... Or maybe it's just me who loves looong chapters :twilightsheepish:

“Shit! Eyes can’t just change color!” I gave a loud growl aloud as my feet shuffled through piles of garbage on the floor.

Tch! Speak for yourself! My eye colour changes with everything I wear.

Question, how old do you imagine this character? Early twenties?

Still, an interesting premise, will follow.

Looks interesting. But I didn't see a sign of personaility disorder as in usual possesion case. And what happened to Chrysalis's original body on the other side?

9001864
The next chapter puts light on just that lol.

i don't know how i feel about that

Mhmm
Mhmm
Yup ima keep this on a-reading

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