• Member Since 24th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Winterman


I love horror and crossovers.

T

Fluttershy was conscripted into the Red Army during the Second World War. Fluttershy has never even held a gun, let alone fired one. An innocent mind exposed to war. She has to live through it, while also facing the distorted morality the war shown to her.


This story is one of the six war stories of a "what-if" situation starring the Mane Six as they fought their way through an alternate universe version of the Second World War. I do not have any intention to make fun of those who sacrificed for their own countries during that time...

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 14 )

what the fuck

no.

nope nope nope nope.

no.

I would give the advice to give a bit of world building first. Why are the ponies at war? Why is it that this world has the same names as ours? Who are they fighting against, and who with?

9291938
It is World War II, with ponies. In a nutshell. I think I submit it too early? Because Twilight's part of this story is pretty much Twilight in Germany before the war.

Another thing would be to specify what type of anthro they are. Are they full on human, more pony like, or what? And why do they speak in a mix of Russian and English?

9291945
Just having it as WW2 with ponies isn’t exactly good. Some people might not know anything about the war.

And, it would probably be better to have a pre war scene before it’s in the actual war. Especially when the war is unexplained.

9291889
I'm not a mind reader, but I'll attempt to answer for him (no offense, Ivan). Maybe it's because:
1) Anthro: People generally fall between disgusted, to "kill it with a >something<!" when furries are involved. Even within this fandom, apathy is the best a furry should hope for when interacting with the mentally healthy.
2) The fic comes across as a "bleak them up" variant of torture porn I.e. take a weak/mentally compromised/kid appeal character from the show and toss them into a nightmare scenario for the spectacle of their collapse. A niche plotline even for this most niche of franchises.
3) With a name like his, it's more than likely he had some family members involved in the conflict. That combined with my country's Veteran's Day recently passing...'nuff said.
4) Your description of the...heavy scenes may have fallen flat. The dialogue and inner speech may have fizzled and the characterisation suffered as a result.
5) He doesn't like you.

I won't say it's trash, because I haven't actually read it, but I will say no on the grounds that I don't like the concept you chose.

Saw your post. Here's my thoughts.

So I havent read the second chapter but I think I got the point. The main issue I'm seeing here is that you're basically just telling a WW2 story but replacing all the characters with ponies. It doesn't make for a very engaging read, especially since we're all here to read about ponies.

I see potential though. My advice would be to instead of writing the opening scene to Enemy at the Gates and replacing everyone with ponies, write something that at its core is about ponies, but with a WW2 vibe to it. There's plenty of stories that take Equestria and warp it in some way and I know you'll have no issue finding an audience for it.

Hope that helps.

9292165
Enemy at the Gates is fucking horribly inaccurate anyway.

9292934
Well, trust me. This is the only part of the story that can get Enemy At The Gates.

9292954
Well, that's fucking stupid. We did not shoot people who deserted, we did not have mindless infantry charges, and we most definitely did not shoot people who retreated.

9292957
I know, I did researched into that. And trust me, you won't be seeing any of that in here.

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