Getting stoned
Hi, my names Clyde, sometimes known as Faggot. I’ve heard rumors from my many friends on BoulderTM That there is a really shady man that looks like the RE4 Merchant selling stuff. It was an offer I couldn’t refuse. It’s at a local convention about something or another, I don’t really care.
I pull my ushanka closer, and make sure the Soviet Star stays on, and walk in. I look around with my regular blank look,,until I find the Merchant.
I walk over to the stall, “Hello, stranger, come to buy my wares?”
I nod, “Sure.”
He flourishes over to his items, “Allow me to show you a few, stranger.”
I shrug, “Alright.”
He picks up a small, handheld toy gun, “A plasma pistol from the Halo series.”
He picks up a pointed helmet, “The helmet of the Dark Lord Sauron.”
He picks up a toy dagger, “Mehrunes Razor from the Elder Scrolls series.”
He picks up a blue pickaxe, “A diamond pick from Minecraft.”
He throws it away, and picks up a shield with a triangle on the front, “Link’s shield from The Legend of Zelda.”
He then shrugs as he looks around, “Bit low on wares today.”
I scratch my chin as I think over the choices. I look down, and see exactly what I’ve needed, “How much for this rock?”
The Merchant looks at the rock in my grasp, “A boulder?”
I shake my head, “It’s not a boulder, it’s a rock.”
He looks at me in disbelief, “You want to buy a rock. Out of all the items here?”
I nod, and look closer at the rock, “It’s perfectly round, and it’s pretty smooth even if a tiny bit heavy. It’s the perfect rock.” I look back up at him, “How much for the rock?”
The Merchant face-palms, “Okay, look... when you buy something here, you go to another world with that real object. Like the plasma pistol would be real. The only thing that can be done with the rock is to make it always strike its target, and always come back.”
“How much?”
“You realise that buying something here will send you to another world. Where you’ll never come back?”
I look back down at the rock, and comptemplate my choices. I mean, I like my family, Papa Womble has been good and all... but still. I look him in the eye, “How much?”
The Merchant bangs his head into a table, “That wasn’t even on sale... fine, just give me a penny or something.”
I search my wallet, “I only have a ten. You can keep the change.”
He looks at the money I give him, and slowly shakes his head, “Look, I’ll... I’ll just give you change in that worlds currency. It’s the least I could do for someone who only has a stone.”
“Rock.”
He snaps his fingers, makeing a portal beneath me, “Just... just go.”
I nod at him as I slip in, “Thanks for the rock.”
———
I land in a field surrounded by more rocks. I hold my rock in my hands, “I think I’ll call you... Clive”
“That’s a nice rock you got there.” I hear a monotone voice from behind me.
I turn around, and see a grey pony wearing dark grey cloathing, “Thanks. His names Clive.”
The pony takes a pouch out of her cloak. She unwraps it, revealing another rock, “This is Boulder.”
We both sit down, and place our rocks near each other, “Come on, Clive, don’t be shy.”
She places Boulder down, “You have someone to play with, Boulder.”
The two rocks sit next to each other as the both of us watch them intently. I then turn to her, “I’m Clyde, nice to meet another rock keeper.”
She nods, “My names Maud, it’s the same. So, how did you get Clive?”
I smile as I remember, “I actually just bought him.”
She looks back at Clive, “He looks very nice. Smooth, big, round, also looks like limestone. Very rare around here.”
I look at Boulder, “Boulder also looks very nice. Smooth and perfectly imperfect granite.”
We both sit in silence as we watch our rocks play, then Maud breaks the silence, “You know, you are a creature that’s not been seen before.”
I shrug, “Okay.”
She tilts her head in a direction, “That means you’ll probably want to be seen by Twilight. She’s one of my sisters friends.”
I look at her, “Another rock holder?”
She shakes her head, “No, that would only be me and you.” She grabs Boulder, and puts him back in the pouch, “Come on, let’s go to the train station. I can pay for you to go to her. I’ve also wanted to visit my sister, so it’s win-win.”
I grab Clive, and stand up, “So, why are there so many rocks around here?”
We start to walk, “My family is mostly a rock farm. Only my sister I’ve talked about, Pinkie Pie, does something else. We farm rocks, that’s how I got my Boulder. It’s also why I care about rocks.”
I nod, “I care because that’s what Papa Womble says to do. He was the one who taught me how to truely know rocks.”
She maintains the nutural look, “I reacued Boulder from the other rocks. He was getting bullied by them because he was granite instead of quarts. I managed to save him, and kept him ever since. The rocks aren’t that kind out here.”
I listen towards one of these huge rocks, ”Look at that stupid limestone over there, called Clive. Bet he can’t do anything to good quarts like me.”
I stop in my tracks, causing Maud to stop as well, “That quarts just insulted Clive!”
She shakes her head, “Don’t mess with the quarts, they are too tough.”
I look over at the quarts, “Oi, Quarts! Eat Clive!”
I wind up, and throw Clive right towards him, “Go Clive!”
Clive collides in the middle of the Quarts, causing it to break in half. Clive returns to my hand, and I pet him, “Good job, Clive. You got him.”
Maud looks at Clive like always, “I guess Clive is quite powerful.”
I nod, “Now, let’s go on.”
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Heh
I don't know why, but at the moment I saw the title I already guessed I would laugh. Great job. XD
Note to everyone, I’m not going to be watching this for the next few hours, and I have a good feeling. If it features, tell me.
A rock.. what... A rock!? What!
Papa Womble?........ OHHHH MY GOD!!!!
I've had a stories' first chapter make laugh so much!
I approve. This is something which captures the true spirit of Displaced.
I'll be tracking and faving this.
This pleases me
But why
?
Um.... This is new and also WTF?
8987906
Yes, a rock
8988398
Shadow:Just when I thought his stories
Couldn't get crazier
Dreamer: But the craziness is the best part
Shadow:oooh I have another personality. awesome!
I will never underestimate rocks anymore
Shadow:But that's impossible
Pinkie Pie:You mean like me
Shadow:Oh by the Nine she's back Mutters incoherently
Stop right there criminal scum
Screams running
Screams running
Virtual cupcake for whoever guesses the reference
8988438
Everyone gets that stupid reference, also, stop that.
Womble is a faggot
8988518
Fair enough no need to be impolite about it
ALL HAIL CLIVE
Ehm... Okay... Well... It's a Rock... I guess even the smallest Idea can become a great Story?
8988551
Sadly, I don’t think those two dislikes have understood your reference, or the fact it’s truth.
8988906
They clearly have never seen any of womble videos....
8988962
What a sad existence that is.
Short description:
Long description
Merchant's
Also the tense in that first sentence needs to be past or present. But not both.
or
8989113
This is litterly a story about a person and a rock
I wanted to say that was stupid, but I guess that is the point here and because of that it is so awesome. I liked the scene with Maud.
Clive is the new rock type pokemon.
8988410
The best
8989174
Not what I expected but was no disappointed from what I read. Quite funny actually.
8988554
Alright thank you just, please don't do that, I've seen stuff involving cheese graters and butts but what you did still creeps me out.
8990341
Will Do
8988551
"Sovies a fwaggot" - Holly'Nevil 2017
8988398
I see what you did there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTOwMeimSl4
8988398
Also, what happened to RD after all this?
Soviet Womble yay
*curls into the fetal position, mumbling something about rocks*