Recuperation, Relaxation, Realisation

by Cackling Moron

The laziness of acceptance

A day or so later she slept in my bed. There was no fucking.

There wasn’t much of anything, really. Other than cuddling. Which was fine by me. I lay down, she cuddled up, we nodded off. Or she did, I mostly just held her in my one good arm and stared at her in abject disbelief at how things had worked out. It was lovely.

Weird how a little shift in definition can make you feel really very differently about things. Rainbow had fallen asleep on me before and - though I’d never admit it - the reverse had probably happened at least once.

But that was back when we’d just been buds doing bud things, and I hadn’t thought twice. Now, with us making a go of it as a, you know, ‘item’, I was hyper-aware of everything. How warm she felt against me. The little noises she made. How she wriggled into me every now and then. Where my hand was (her flank? At least I think that’s what it was called). All of these things seemed overwhelming now.

She was very cute when she slept, I noticed, waking up before she did. This I’d noticed before, obviously but back then it had been ”Huh, Rainbow’s kinda adorable when he dozes” but now it was “Rainbow - who I am an item with! - is adorable when she dozes!”

Eventually this novelty would wear off, I knew, and everything that had been old but was now new would be old again. I would stop grinning and thinking I was funny by using the word ‘item’. But I wasn’t looking forward to that. I was loving the novelty. I liked having everything make me so excited I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t often feel things so deeply.
I trailed my hand up to the base of her wing, the one that had draped itself over the top of me. That kind of shit was cool. Wished I had wings. I could enfold people in a feathery embrace. And also fly. Both would be good.

Rainbow twitched in her sleep when my fingers touched where the wing met her back. She did it again when I did it again and then she mumbled dozily and wordlessly, stretching out against me before curling up tighter, facing running briefly through sleepy agitation and then melting into contentment as she settled comfortably. It was so cute I was reduced to just staring with my mouth open.

This was amazing, and I could have had all this sooner if I’d just been paying attention.

Things were the same, but different. The circumstances were hardly normal - what with her nursing me and everything (though she’d ditched the outfit now) - but were still normal enough for differences to be noticed. It was still us just hanging out, only now there was an edge to everything we did. A sort of giddiness. Touches lingered longer. Eye-contact went unbroken. Smiles didn’t leave faces.

Also kissing. Couldn’t forget that. That was new.

I couldn’t believe it, honestly. Couldn’t believe any of it was happening. At every moment I expected the other shoe to drop and the whole thing to turn out to be some elaborate long-con practical joke of Rainbow’s. But it never happened. It continued to be real. I couldn’t believe it.

Leave aside that she’s not human. Leave that to one side, put that in your pocket. I didn’t ever expect to have anyone get so close to me. It had been years. I’d long-since concluded that it was just me, that no-one would or could be interested. I’d got comfortable with the idea. Not exactly happy, but comfortable. I had come to accept it as the way things were. The bits and pieces that made up me added up to someone who was just unlikeable and someone who would, therefore, remain alone. That’s what I’d decided.

Only not, as it turned not. Not at all. Wrong.

And so there I was. Holding someone - somepony - special. And grinning like an idiot.

“Snnrrff,” Rainbow snuffled, one eye opening. “S’what’s goin’ on?”

I rubbed around the base of her wing again and she shivered, eye fluttering shut again. My grin widened. Never known it would do that. Would have to remember.

“Nothing much,” I said.

She snuffled again and rolled onto her back, her head resting on my belly, wings now tucked in. No idea how they managed to fit underneath her without getting bent out of shape, but who was I to argue?

“Good. Don’t wanna do anythin’,” she said, smiling at the ceiling and giggling when I scratched her behind the ears.

“Just hanging with my gi- my girlfriend.”

The words hadn’t felt right in my mouth at first, so I’d had to start over, had to remember that they were right and would - hopefully - continue to be right. I even got butterflies! What was I? Twelve?

“S’marefriend,” she said. I blinked. Did they really need another word for that?

“So that’d make me your...what?” I asked.

“Coltfriend.”

Of-fucking-course. Why did I even need to ask?

“I can learn to live with that,” I said. Then I laughed. Just a little one.

“What?”

“Just thinking,” I said. “Never thought I’d have anything like this again. Never have anyone. When I woke up here I thought it’d just be...loneliness and hoping for a way back. And now this. Didn’t see it coming. The whole ‘has four legs and comes up to my waist’ thing is pretty unexpected as well. Not a dealbreaker, though.”

In all honesty I was still working on that, at least internally. Right at that moment I was just letting it sit on the backburner, as it were. Getting used to most of my company being tiny, brightly-coloured and non-human had been difficult enough in the first place - anything more than that would take just a little more.

Rainbow rolled her head towards me and pouted. This was adorable.

“I am taller than your waist,” she said.

True. If anything she came up to just below my chest. Maybe a little lower.

“Well yeah, but that doesn’t sound as snappy.”

“Just as long as you know,” she said, settling back again. Then she paused, eyes opening.

“Never thought you’d have anything like this?” She asked. I wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by that. It seemed pretty self-explanatory to me.

“Yeah? No? Why?”

With a grunt she rolled over and wriggled inelegantly on top of me, hind legs either side of my torso, hooves resting on my chest. She looked oddly concerned. Her whole manner was serious.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Say what?”

I got pounded for that, right on the chest. Oof.

“The thing you just said! About never having anything like this. Why’d you say that?”

I couldn’t think of any way to answer this, again. The answer was in the question. I’d just never thought it’d happen. That was it. That was all there was to it. I floundered.

“I, uh…”

That was as far as I got. Shrugging - or at least shrugging as much as I could while pinned beneath her - I shook my head. She was staring at me, expecting something she could work with. I would disappoint her.

“I got nothing. Sorry. I don’t know what to tell you. Just figured it’d never happen.”

Rainbow frowned.

“Did you think no-one would ever like you or something?”

Again, all I could was shrug, this time helplessly. Didn’t exactly want to lie to her face. The frown got worse.

“Okay, we’re going to work on that, alright? That’s dumb and I don’t like it. We’re going to work on that. I like you a whole lot and I don’t want you thinking that if I didn’t no-one else could. That’s dumb,” she said, resolutely.

“If you say so.”

“No, I mean it. I don’t want you saying that. I don’t want you thinking it. You’re better than that. I know you are, I want you to know you are too. So we’re going to work on that.”

“Going to work on my self-esteem?” I asked, perhaps more jokingly than I meant to. The pressure of her hooves resting on my chest increased as her weight shifted, her face coming closer to mine.

“Yes. It’s important,” she said, expression oftening as she seemed to notice how we were now inches apart. I felt her relax and she slithered lower, laying flat on top of me, hooves around my neck, wings unfurling, curling in either side of us. A neat trick. “You believe me when I say I like you, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

Didn’t have much of a choice at this point. Couldn’t understand it, but couldn’t deny it. What else could explain the position I found myself in?

Without really thinking about it I gave her a kiss on the cheek. Because I could reach. She giggled at that - always cute - and because I could reach further I put a couple more kisses her way, moving down her neck. She squirmed.

“S-stop that! I’m trying to say something!”

“Sorry, I got carried away,” I said. I wasn’t really that sorry.

A little odd, I felt, how quickly whatever reluctance I might have felt about the species-divide had evaporated. It had only really plagued me for a day, but it had been a day spent exclusively with Rainbow and the more we talked and laughed and did all the things we always did the less and less of an issue it got to be in my head. I suppose my justification would be that she was just as rich and valid an individual as any human would have been, just differently shaped. But I didn’t need to justify it, because I was stuck far from home and far from anyone who would have wanted answers anyway.

I barely noticed when I just started to dole out the dashes of random, intimate affection. A kiss on the head here, a nuzzle to the neck there. Hands coming to rest perhaps a daring inch or two lower than they might have done back when we were just friends. I’d just started doing it perhaps a day after things had come to a head. It had been fun to do, she’d liked it, and so it had kept going.

One of those things, I supposed. Wouldn’t do anyone any good to dwell on it. Others might have torn themselves to shreds over this sort of thing, but I was never one for worrying in the first place.

Lucky me, I guess.

“Anyway, as I was saying,” Rainbow said, turning her head and tucking it in beneath my chin. “We’ll work on it. Just a little bit here and there. I want you to know the you that I know, the you I like.”

She had to work that last part out in her head as she said it. So did I. There’d been a lot of ‘you’s. It all seemed to fit together and, as she confirmed this to herself, she grinned up at me, obviously pleased. I gave her mane a ruffle. Could never go wrong with that.

“I can’t object, really,” I said.

“No, you can’t,” she said happily, eyes closing again as she settled properly.

From there we enjoyed a few quiet minutes of nothing much at all. From the sound of things Rainbow dozed off again, and I just took the time to fully appreciate how nice it was to feel the soft, warm weight of her against me. It’s the little things.

Wasn’t doing the arm she was resting on any favours but, hey, you can’t have everything.

Later, we’d probably have a late lunch, maybe wander back to Ponyville General to see about getting the bloody cast taken off and then who knew what next? Been a while since I’d sat and watched her fly - that would be fun. Maybe some ruckus would happen in town that she’d need to take care of. Had been a while since any of that, too.

Maybe we’d tell everyone about us. I’d probably get laughed at for being so dense, but I’d be okay. Maybe we wouldn’t tell anyone and just keep it to ourselves for now. After all, who really needed to know?

We had options. We could do anything we wanted and, more importantly, do it together.

Right then though, I was plenty happy doing absolutely nothing with my marefriend.

Fancy that.

Author's Note:

Not exactly a thrilling conclusion but that was never really the point. The point was to drag out dense-as-bricks human and Rainbow, get them together and then finish on that. And I've done that.

Anything else I can do after this is gravy.

But I'm burnt-out as fuck on this so I think I need to go and have a lie down and do something else for a minute.

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

A good ending, or rather, a good beginning. This was a lovely read, its so rare to find a romance like this, relaxed, settled, calm. Have you, perchance, read Subconscious Attraction by little big pony? It has this same feeling of gradual buildup. I heartily recommend it to anyone who enjoyed this!

I hope you keep writing, you've got a really nice turn of phrase, but don't try to force it, take some time to yourself, let inspiration flow at it's own pace. In any case, thanks for a really good read!

[Doomgooey]

Really good. Hope you continue this at least a little if you feel up to it. Always liked reading past the "how we go together" part. Either way thank you for writing this, was a great read.

[Cackling Moron]

9007567
I have read that, though not for donkeys ages - your reminder had me go through again, which is nice.

I'm glad this was enjoyed! As ever, I'm groping blindly and success is more lucky than judgement.

[Cackling Moron]

9007769
In my head this is all just set up for further shenanigans. As and when I feel like inflicting those...

[Lasrian Kano]

It was beautiful. thanks cackling.

[Cackling Moron]

9043670
D'aww shucks

[wizard0209]

8989164

Though. 'back to mine' is just something I say without thinking - is that something other people don't say?

i don't know if you ever got an answer, but i can safely say that while i got what you meant without too much thinking, i have definitely never heard that before

[The Lurking Creep]

I barely noticed when I just started to dole out the dashes of random, intimate affection. A kiss on the head here, a nuzzle to the neck there. Hands coming to rest perhaps a daring inch or two lower than they might have done back when we were just friends. I’d just started doing it perhaps a day after things had come to a head. It had been fun to do, she’d liked it, and so it had kept going.

Heh, dashes...

I think I'll cry. Hiding my self-hatered and suicidal thoughts behind edgy memes stops working if I look at a wholesme meme for more than a few seconds. Wholesome memes make me cry more than a bunch of 'KYS's from "edgy" kids on an M rated game... I'm really pathetic...

[AFK Fiction]

know I wonder how long is it going to take for the relationship to reach 3erd bases?
where is the popcorn? this is going to be the S

[Arkonfleight]

I'm imagining outdoor self esteem training with a whistle.

[Neece]

For a fundamentally romantic story this seriously lacks the tag

Cute as a button. Certainly earned you a follow, and I can barely wait for more. Do keep up the good work, please

[TinMan]

9177509
I'm not saying it's bad or the conversation they had wasn't believable I was just saying as an outside Observer on these two people having this moment you want to scream at them and tell them to stop tippy-toeing around each other and say how you feel, that's what I meant by frustrating.

[Cackling Moron]

9177538
Ah! Perfect!

[TinMan]

9177544
Trust me, I've read a lot of HIE fanfic on this site and your stuff is head and shoulders above most. Just keep doing what your doing.

[Adamanthys]

Hope you keep this story going. One of the best Dash x human fics i've seen, you've captured her personality so well here.

also, not sure if your into that sort of thing but will there perhaps be some nsfw stuff later down the line?

[BoJack Horseman]

9200866
I'll second this. I really really liked this story.

[Kevin Lee]

Needs the obligatory post script chapter:

Twilight Sparkle: "Hey, everypony! I've got the dimensional teleporter working!"
Me and Rainbow Dash: "No you don't."
*We take a couple of sledge hammers to it until its in a dozen or so pieces*
Me: "Now, it's working like it's supposed to."
Twilight Sparkle: "meep! "

[luksor22]

very nice story, I am waiting for the continuation and more similar. good job!👍👌👏

[Moon Lite]

Loved it! It had a very relaxed pace that I enjoyed. Not to mention all the little adorable fluff.

[silvadel]

9321011

Naw -- then begins the awkwardness of Rainbow Dash on Earth with her colt-friend. You certainly don't think she'd pass that chance up (of course she would want to come back home but to see planes and all that...)

[Tesseract417]

This was a nice, heartwarming little tale.
Very well written, and I'm glad you didn't go the way of a lot of similar stories here. There are plenty of other fics that cater to that.
One thing I am curious about is Twilights reaction later in this arc. Would be cool to see this story from some of the others points of view.

[Kadigan]

9439230
Oh yeah - a view on the others' POV would be a nice touch.
As would clop, naturally.

[HappyHyena]

“Okay, we’re going to work on that, alright? That’s dumb and I don’t like it. We’re going to work on that. I like you a whole lot and I don’t want you thinking that if I didn’t no-one else could. That’s dumb,” she said, resolutely.

I adore this line

[November Myst]

Great stories! I absolutely loved the fluff and the denseness of the main character XD

[Arlan753]

I really would like to see a continuation of this, good work

[Opponent]

. I trailed my hand up to the base of her wing, the one that had draped itself over the top of me. That kind of shit was cool. Wished I had wings. I could enfold people in a feathery embrace. And also fly. Both would be good.

Feathery embrace is indeed a fantastic capability, can definitely agree.

[Poparakelis]

All I can say is wholesome

[NAH223445566]

Me gustaría haber visto la reacción de Rainbow al tratar de darle carne. Todo el mundo parece olvidar ese detalle.