• Member Since 31st Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen October 16th

Starsaber34


Just some dumbass who writes bullshit stories.

E
Source

Sunset Shimmer has a fear of Endings. She hates them with a passion. Thus she is stuck with a problem. Graduation is coming up and she has no idea what to do next. Her friends are going to college, and she doesn't want High School to end. She can't face it. She needs a way out...

And with Graduation soon approaching, she looks back. Back to before...
She realizes just how much she left behind when she went through the portal.
Her Family, Her Parents....Her Friends

She needs to go back. Thus, she packs up, and goes back to Equestria

But what she finds when she gets there, isn't what she had intended.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 37 )

Buit]

But

this is really good I cant wait for more

8982964
I wrote this at two in the morning on a whim because my internet went out on Wordpad....

It certainly got my interest.

8982986
if that is the case then only one spelling mistake is something to be proud of

Okay, you have my attention. Now let's see if you can keep it.

Also, that whole endings bit? Reminds me of a quote from the 11th Doctor.

8982986
Well, for something written at two in the morning, not bad so far! God knows that if I wrote at two in the morning, I'd churn out nothing worth reading.

Comment posted by Palestinian FimFic Fan deleted June 14th

8982986 Hey, I know you wrote this pretty late at night so here are the things that I noticed were wrong. I'm not the best at this kind of stuff so you might want to go back through it yourself when you're more awake or an actual editor person.

Twilight seemed to take notice of this. "You know....if you wanna go back home...we won't be mad at you. You came her to get away right?"

here

Sunset seriously considered it. She had only been back a handful of times and each time it was only to visit Princess Twilight, and/or get help with a magical threat. But this...she had a lot of past she had left behind back in Equestria. Celestia, her parents....her parents. Ponies she hadn't thought of in a long time. She froze up at the thought...did they even know she was alive? She had left so abruptly that she hadn't even considered her family. they were probably back in Manehatten...

Sunset stood up. "okay Twilight...get the girls, I'm going home."

They

up, "Okay

Sunset chuckled "there's a skill I won't need in Equestria"
Dash tilted her head "You don't have cars in Equestria?"

chuckled, "There's
head, "You

"So....You have Horses....pulling horses?" Rarity added, her face twisting in confusion.

Needs a period

complexitys

complexities

'....No...I can't. I need to get out here by tomorrow. People will start trying to convince me to stay. I don't want to worry them with that."

Need to change that apostrophe to a quotation and add a period.

"Sunset...you don't need to be afraid to admit you're scared."

Needs a period.

As we unloaded my stuff from Fluttershy's car, I felt a lump form in my chest. I never really was the type to get all mushy about the past,but after 2 years...I couldn't help but get a little nostalgic about everything...part of me wanted to stay, but, I couldn't. I needed to get out of here. I couldn't face yet another ending.

Needs a space and get rid of that comma

"Fist bump and a wiggle, now we just do a little jiggle. Dance to the beat, now get on your feet. we say Suck it to the hoes, and we touch our toes. Gimme a Cha-Cha-Cha, and a Oo-lala, and we lock and we pop and we pokadot, now through the hoop and we end it with a BOOP!" we both sang, doing out signature handshake before singing one last verse.

Needs to be capitalized and needs a period

"We're gonna miss you too Sunset."

And one last period.

Also there were a ton of instances where you capitalized letters that you didn't need to.

Okay, so Ray's a snake now... Never question Equestrian Magic one supposes.

Great work keep it up

God I need an editor...

you wanna stay her

here

damn who know that pinkie is such a good plot tool

And so the ship has begun to sail... And you know, this may be just me, but I think this song fits them.

don't worry sunset you will find de wey

I'm not sorry

and hadn't seen stayed

Should be "since".

Yeeesss ship-

Also looking forward to next chapter good work! :twilightsmile:

okay i just got my feels beat up their at the end i'm a sucker for family reunions

Just found this story and loving it. Though does make me wonder what sunset will do after she graduates after high school. Also does she have a job in equestria girls as I think she has her own house or apartment in show and comics.

9031233
Sunset mentions in chapter 1 that she mooches off of Blueblood, her landlord. As for plans for after High School...she has none. She's TERRIFIED of leaving CHS, so the idea of planning for her future isn't on her mind right now. That's why she was so quick to leave for Equestria. She didn't want to plan for her life after CHS, because she couldn't comprehend a life outside of CHS.

9038401
I was talking about in actual show. I assume he other girls live with there parents stillbenig teenagers but wondering about sunset. I know she has he really own place but how does she pay of it and how does she earn money.

excellent sunset give into the ship

Oh Sunset, you cannot resist. You've been touched by the flame, and now you just gotta dive back in.

wait the garden and they are in the equivalent of new york so you mean MADISON SQUARE GARDEN oh my god im an idiot for not realizing this until the second time reading.

post edit: hey author dude can we get a point in time referance so we know when this is happening in equestria :) or not and just leave us wondering forever :'(.

9049830
Time reference for when this is happening Season wise, or when this his happening in the show canon?

Season wise, yeah, it's early fall as mentioned. Show canon wise? Eh, I'd rather leave it intentionally vague. Show canon is an always updating thing and trying to fit your fic to make it "fit the canon" isn't what I'm here for. I'm here to write a cute ship fic, nothing more. For all I know Twilight could get her castle blown up by the end of season 7 and that would make chapter 2 null and void. shrugs

There's a reason I almost exclusively use the Alternate Universe tag on my stories. Fitting "show canon" is both exhausting, and can become pointless within a week.

The shift from 3rd to first person is a little jarring, but other than that, its a nice start.

9050865
again, I wrote that first chapter at 3AM on Wordpad after my power went out. Was a one time decision I never went back and fixed.

9050031
well to help slightly it is season 8 now and her castle has not been blown up but they apparently started a friendship school.
and i just ment a rough guess as to the timeline other than that i mostly just came for the interesting sounding story.

9051855
Yes, I've been watching the show too. If I really had to put this somewhere in the show canon, it'd be post-season 7. This is supposed to be around when Sunset is graduating, so we're gonna have to jump ahead in the future if we're gonna put this into the canon.

I use the Alternate Universe tag for that reason. Worrying about "when does this fit in the timeline of the show" is just too much of a hassle when you're trying to tell an interesting story.

Did she leave the portal opening book behind?

9166809
Don't remember seeing that but she must make some money from it if she able to afford her own place, unless she has a second job.

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