Tom has no idea how he ended up in Equestria. For that matter, he has no idea who he is, or what he was, before he ended up in Equestria.
But he's in Equestria now, and he's a pony, and has no idea how things in this world work. Thankfully, he has one advantage: He can hear commentary by outside observers into this world. Hopefully they'll guide him better than his own lackluster survival instincts would.
Reader comments direct this story. Comments must be in the form of an imperative (i.e. 'do this') for Tom to receive them, generally.
Chapters (8)
Wow. So original. Really jogged the noggin coming up with this one I see.
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Pfft. Yeah, obviously it wasn't meant to be original. The title is even an homage to similar undertakings for that precise reason.
It's meant to be entertaining goofball writing, not groundbreaking fiction.
Hello, Tom! Make sure there aren't any dragons in this cave. Dragons are a thing. And they sometimes live in caves. Especially if there gems around.
Oh. and try not to look like you're stealing anything, especially the gems.
Tom, think about what you've seen; giant birds, manticores, and you are now in a cave that is suspiciously warm and filled with riches scattered about. Think about that, and what that might mean. You should cautiously explore the cave before getting comfortable, or just run, because that dragon probably already heard you.
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Alright, Tom, there are a few things. It sounds gross, but you have teeth. You can pick leaves and sticks to make a crude lean-to. Try and find somewhere high, and rocky to keep out of mud and lowland flooding. Also, check if you have a horn.
quick find a fairy type with moon blast
sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get install lib-drv-fire.make | lib-fauna | lib-flora
linux.org makes drivers for these situations.
Git gud, scrub.
PS: lib-equus-somatic
Hi, Tom. I will be giving a single piece of information and a riddle each chapter. Both are helpful, but you may need to think a bit.
Unicorns have telekinesis.
All creatures eat, and I eat. All creatures breathe, and I breathe. All creatures drink, yet if I drink, I die. What am I?
-Eevee
You should climb a tree to view your surroundings to get your bearings on where you are
Also probably find some food before you start starving and not thinking straight
Ok tom, attempt to climb a tree to get a layout of the land around you... and watch out for the Timberwolves
>Slick?
I never said you couldn't at least wait out the rain at the mouth of the cave. Dragons are intelligent in this world, so you could probably convince one that that's what you're doing. But yeah, checking for a horn is a good idea. It'll give us an idea of what you have at your disposal. And if you don't have one, that doesn't necessarily mean you're out of luck, though your capabilities are a bit more nebulous in that case.
Tom, climb a tree and scream as loud as you can,
A pegasus is bound to hear you. Either that or
Timberwolves
Hello, we are...oddly conected to you right now. We are receiving a text description of your events filtered sightly by your perspective.
We can speak back to you as well.
To be frank, drying of exposure is your greatest danger right now.
First take assessment of your new body. Do a full check. Assume nothing.
Then assess your belongings.
Then find a means out of the rain, look and oberve. We have access to huge databases on survival here so we can help, but we must know your environment.
Remember, we only know of your situation what YOU oberve.
Tom you should climb a tree and find civilization but watch for the lightning ^-^.
*Incoherent Eldritch Screeching*
*Semicoherent Gurgling Words*
*Sizzling Bacon*
*Curious Eldritch Screeching*
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This was not an imperative, therefore can't be used. In the future I also recommend using original riddles, as I (the author) am quite familiar with a large variety of classical riddles.
EDIT: I'll make an exception this once.
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okay you have two wings and a worn right? you are a pegacorn or a winged unicorn. but they are often get confused with alicorns which are better looking, mostly taller and have plot based strength and ability power
Okay, so, Tom, you are apparently what's called an Alicorn. They have traits of all three ponies, which means you get some kind of vaguely defined flora competencies, and also maybe super strength, the ability to fly, the ability to manipulate clouds and the weather, and access to magic. The full package. If there isn't lightning, you can try flying up above the clouds and just sleep there. They are supposedly soft. If there IS lightning, stay grounded. It won't kill you, but it will suck and you may fall to your death. Also, magic is based on emotions, and I don't have any other specifics. I'll try to do some research for you in a little bit.
Huh. Haven't heard that one. Was thinking time, or maybe death, but that's probably not it.
So, Tom, once the storm's over, you'll want to start looking around. There's a friend nearby, but the map cannot be trusted.
Riddle: I am always here, but you cannot see me. I try to take the shortest path, no matter the consequences. Earth is my enemy.
-Eevee
ok tom you forgot to climb a tree but oh well, make sure to find a food and water source.
The answer to your riddle you gave the other guy is an echo.
Hello again.
Thank you for the check. Others have said this but what you are is an alicorn.
We have some knowledge of the area you are in though its not specific. Thats not important now though.
I'd advice you to not try to fly as the task is likely beyond you now. However, I would advice you to attempt to hover. Those of your new species with wings seem to have an ability to hover while moving said wings very slowly. Like impossibly slowly.
Do not let yourself get distracted by this for long however as there is a second task we need you to do.
Try to create a magical blast from your horn good enough to blow apart a pile of wood. There are creatures you may have to fight out there.
Then you are going to want to find a place to look from. Try to get to high ground or find a river. If you find high ground then get up on it and look over the trees. If you find a river then follow it to civilization.
Remember, civilizations are on rivers. I suspect the forest you are in has a river and in fact it runs through a town of ponies. The species you are now.
Good luck my friend.
Yup, electricity.
Tom, look out. Someone is coming, and she might not be happy. Be careful, but if you stay honest, she'll probably be kind in return.
Riddle: I can drive people to kill just to save someone linked by me, but I can also be the chain they try to bury. I am one of the closest bonds you can have.
-Eevee
Ah, excellent! An apple orchard is a great sign; you're not just near civilization, you're near civilization we voices are familiar with. (Don't ask. It's complicated and irrelevant to your continued survival right now.) There should be a farmhouse somewhere nearby. You'll find other ponies there. Explain how you spontaneously appeared in the Everfree and they should get you to somepony—yes, somepony, it's the local vernacular—who can figure out what's going on.
Oh, and they'll probably forgive you for eating that apple. The things may grow on trees, but they still charge for them.
you don't have the super alicorn sense is because you are not a alicorn but a pegacorn also i would find a orange mare with cowboy hat and ask for help
Don't beat yourself up man. The magic you have been able to use is pretty good for a guy who just started.
The place you likely are is called 'Sweet Apple Acres'. The mare there is a very honest pony who is also connected to some very magically powerful individuals.
She herself has a connection to the concept of 'honesty' so lieing is a bad idea.
That being said, probably shouldn't mention us. Oh! Also if you talk to us in your mind we seem to be able to hear it.
Proably avoid eating more than that one apple as well.
Go say hi and explain your need help as you were caught up in a magical phenomenon.
Also I reiterate. Don't mention us. Don't mention you know her name or the name of her farm.
Good luck man, we have your back.
Ok tom you like so many other voices said you are at sweet apple acres, you shouldn't tell anyPONY about us except maybe a pink pony with a dark pink mane. Also despite what viper told you are called an alicorn and you should probably try to hide your horn or wings.
Tom, start shouting for Applejack. She's a pony who can help you. Ask her to take you to Twilight, or Starlight if Twilight isn't available. Also, tell her to ask Fluttershy to get Discord.
She may be weirded out by a total stranger asking all that, but just be honest with her. She'll appreciate that.
Silly little fleshling, listening to the voices beyond...
Not all, not all, not all are the one.
This one, this name, sings with many. Do not, do not...
do not...
DO NOT THINK that one name IS ONE VOICE!
There is kindness, and there is rage. For now, for now, for now the many ones speak for help.
Yet
there will come
times
where they must speak for themselves.
Times of....
d
i
s
c
o
r
d
where different opinions, different ways, show, show, show the forth.
Step carefully, lost one
The guides themselves
might be lost
in their own forest.
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Sorry, non-imperative comments don't make it through.
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If there are more apple trees don’t eat it may belong to a farm if that’s the case you can get help, but cover your wings up... actually forgot that just say something royally and tell half lies while you at it
If no farm then inspect the Apple if there is something off
I believe the reasons could make the word ‘float’ is because you need your magic to spread around it not a signal point
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It was actually family, but love works too.
Aaand you've run into Applebloom, and don't have a cutiemark. Welp, I'll see you in the afterlife.
A tip for your telekinesis, try envisioning your magic as an arm, and use that to grab things. Might not work, but it's the best I have without delving into lots of science.
Riddle: Wherever you may run, I will always follow. You may try to lose me, but I hide in every glow.
Don't worry about the alicorn/pegacorn thing. We'd be getting into "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" territory there.
In any case, cutie marks are symbols that manifest on a pony's hindquarters when they realize their reason for being. You've only existed for an hour or two, so no surprise there. My advice from last time holds out: Insist you need to see a magical expert. The filly should be able to help you, though it is possible you've landed in a time prior to the pony I have in mind moving into this town...
Well, I suppose we'll find out, won't we?
(Also, Red Delicious are pretty-looking garbage fruit. See if you can try a cultivar that wasn't bred for visual appeal.)
you should be very worried about this filly she is cutie mark crazy. the things shes done for cutie mark are to long to list
ok you've run into applebloom - noticing a theme here - whatever you do you need to get out of there before her friends get there because if you don't, well lets just say I hope you like being deaf... a cutie mark is a mark on your flank that represents your special talent in life.
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I'm still warning you that you will go deaf by applebloom and her friends. I would just stay in ponyville and explore the place while trying to find something to hide your horn or wings.
Both options are viable, though you're more likely to cause a ruckus in Canterlot. Most members of your subspecies are immortal philosopher-queens, and two of them keep the local geocentric solar system moving.
Yeah, this a weird universe.
All told, probably best to stick to Ponyville for the time being. The girls will be back in good time, and you can show some initiative in the meantime. Just try not to let too much of the knowledge we're feeding you slip out.
Be carefull.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders are a smart bunch of foals.
Also if she hasn‘t heard of another magic expert like Starlight Glimmer you shouldn‘t ask about Discord.
And if they are headding up to Canterlot (a city literally build on the side of a mountain) they could be headed for a wedding.
Ask her about that.
If you ever need to escape there should be a neutral party in the everfree forest (the forest behind you).
Her Name is Zecora and she is a zebra shaman.
She lives in a tree with windows and masks.
And watch out for blue flowers in there.
Good Luck for now.
Post Scriptum(P.S.):
Be carefull about Celestia she is a milenia old chessmaster.
She arranged almost all of Twilight‘s adventures.
Don‘t fall in her web!
In order to go on the train you will need bits the currency so the fastest way of can think of is to go to Lyra she has a harp cutie mark and say that you know knowledge on humans and you would sell that information
If it is the wedding then stay as far away from the Invasion , that will happen there , as you can.
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What is unmoving but can be broken through lies.
Wait... check Appleblooms flanks. Does she have a mark there? Also, ask her why her family left for Cabterlot.
well I hope you adorabieteis medacine because no human could with stand the cutie mark crusaiders level of cute in person
Yup, shadow.
I'd suggest staying here in Ponyville, until Twilight and her friends get back. Try asking around, there are a lot of ponies, might be one or two magic theorists (if not experts) that Applebloom doesn't know about.
Riddle: I was always here, from the beginning of time, and I will be here until the end of it. I am tiny.
-Eevee