• Member Since 7th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 5th, 2016

TrebleClef91


Comments ( 14 )

Funny how much italian's being used around here recently.
"Di" isn't supposed to be capitalized, BTW.
Anywho, methinks the concept was quite deep, but you lacked the proper grammar to do so, mostly in the form of punctuation. Needs more periods.
Keep up the good work.

988388 Yeah, the grammar in this one sucked, I wroted it like in 10 minutes. I'll put more attention in grammar on future stories.

You seem to have problems staying in the right tense. You switch between present and past frequently.
Maybe getting a proofreader might be in order if you yourself don't feel like checking grammar

So beautiful, short but strong.
I loved it. :twilightsmile:

988617 Yeah, I reread the story and it's all messy but right now I'm not in the mood for making any correction. Sorry.

988966 I'm glad you liked it. I'm not sure if it is really strong but I had a hard time writing it but I'm glad with the results.

wow.......im like crying right now :fluttercry: its short but very touching very good job man :twilightsmile:

I love these stories, they really hit you hard with the emotion:fluttercry:
________________________________________________
Scoots, why you have so many death stories?!? :twilightoops:
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--

Holy run-on sentences Batman!

I'll be honest, I didn't get past the 2nd paragraph. I'm sure the story is amazing..but get a proofreader.

second Saddest story ive read on this cite.:fluttercry:

first was also a "death of scoots" story:fluttercry:

Short but hard.
I'll cry for a while now...

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