Every Rose

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For a happy couple like Roseluck and Lily Valley, it is the little things that matter: making a sale, gossip with friends, and good weather. Too much of a good thing can be hard to handle, and without anything big to worry about, little things can matter more than they should.

Sometimes it is better to misbehave and create a little trouble to refocus on how good things really are.

Written for the School for New Writers Class Project for June 2018.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 6 )

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Voidwalker

Voidwalker #1 · Jul 1st, 2018 · 1 · ·

Huh. No comment yet?
It was a sweat little tale. The first half or so, I thought "well, this is nice", until that helmet. "Wait... that could be Ponyvilles usual randomness and weirdness, but... that does sound familiar, somehow..." A great tie-in, really. And yeah, I had to giggle to. Pink like Lyra. M~hm.
Thank you!

Cryosite

Cryosite #2 · Jul 1st, 2018 · · ·

9018470
Glad you enjoyed it. Just another reminder that the ponies in the background have their own stories to tell.

BodhiBRO100

BodhiBRO100 #3 · Jul 2nd, 2018 · 1 · ·

Roseluck is one of the most unique background characters I've seen in the show, and she's great in this story. 😄

Cryosite

Cryosite #4 · Jul 2nd, 2018 · · ·

9021058
I tried to not go for the obvious cues from the show, such as "the horror." I'm happy to hear it worked for you.

BodhiBRO100

BodhiBRO100 #5 · Jul 2nd, 2018 · 1 · ·

9021261
Meh, it don't matter to me, the character is great either way. 😊 And you're welcome. 😄

The Dean

The Dean #6 · Jul 6th, 2018 · 1 · ·

Hello! This is the SFNW Dean speaking. Good job on getting a story done on time for the June class. You can find the Professor's writeup below!

General: Slice of life to a fault. A reserved, charming story that focuses on a slight break from the day in the life with lovely character interactions.
Deep Dive: This story is the epitome of slice of life. Small setting, small stakes, small happenings. Like any good slice of life, Every Rose has a pointed focus on the minutiae of life and makes it feel larger than it really is.
The characters are wonderfully uninteresting. That’s not a knock on the author. Hints of personality shine through mundane characterization. The minor conflict is escalated on a character’s whim for petty revenge and is resolved just as quickly. However, that jealousy fueled whim reveals a lot more about the character and how they act. It says something subtle about the way one’s worst traits manifest themselves throughout one’s life.
If there’s anything to criticize, it’s that the dialogue is a bit flawed. The way the couple talks to each other feels a bit too saccharine in points. It’s intentionally sugary, no doubt, but it sticks out a bit compared to the grounded nature of the rest of the story. The general phrasing in the way people speak feels a bit too “written” as each individual character’s dialogue sound too alike. Everyone speaks with a pseudo-posh and proper phrasing. For the future, spend some extra time thinking of how a character would say something. With semi-blank side characters, it takes some extra effort to make them stand out as individuals.
Pros: Great characterization of the main character. Fun character interactions. Near perfect slice of life story.
Cons: Dialogue is undifferentiated, making all the characters sound the same.

Check out the forums for your final grade and next month's prompt. We look forwards to working with you again!

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Cryosite

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