Anon Begins

by 23 KM To Nerdiness

Chapter 8: Insert Furry Pun Here_____.

"Oh, dear GOD! Please don't tell me one of Doc's inventions is turning me into a Were-Rabbit!"

"What is a....were-rabbit?" Twilight questions, pad in hoof.

"Something beyond your comprehension, Twi!"

You frantically pull out your talkie.

"Doc, can I ask you something?"

"How may I be of service to you, Anon, ol' chap?"

"Hypothetical question: does one of my side effects include critter transformation?"

"Not that I know of. In my recent studies, 'critter transformation' is doubtfully one of them."

"Oh, alright then." you answer dejectedly.

"Don't worry, Anon," Twilight says. "I'll find a spell for this."

"Oh, cheer up, Anon," Rarity reassures. "In a few days, you'll have the most stylish clothes in Ponyville."

Yeah, that'll totally help my situation.

Not wanting to upset a "lady" horse, you bite your tongue.

"Yeah, I guess," you sigh. "It was nice meeting you, Rarity."

"Oooooh, you are going to look so fabulous, Darling!" she squees, pulling out a needle and thread. "Twas a pleasure."

As you and Twilight leave the boutique, you feel a little heat. And not in the fun way. Then you notice something green and fuzzy on your chest.

Fur.

"This is so weird!" you groan, your body itching like crazy.

"I'll check the library for spells like this," Twilight states. "You'll be back to your bare self in no time."

Something about that statement just rubbed you the wrong way.

---

Nighttime.

This "Luna" gal's moon is shining bright as usual. You two make it to the castle where you're greeted by Toothless Jr.

"Hey guys, were you able to-"

He sees your hairy green chest.

"I knew it wasn't a 'hypothetical' question!"

"How'd you heard?"

Spike pulls out his talkie, claw on his hip.

"Oh, yeah..."

Then, in a millisecond, a Sharknado of itchiness overwhelms you and you find yourself scratching your head like a dog, where you stop and analyze your position.

"That. Is. Impossible. Hnnh! But effective!" you groan, rubbing your head with your foot.

That DAMNED shoe is interfering with your salvation. You yank those suckers off.

"AH!" you scream.

"AH!" Twilight screams.

"AH!" Spike screams.

"AH!"

"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?!"

"P-PAWS!" you yelp. "I HAVE PAWS!"

Your practically rolling in the fetal position on the floor before your concerned friends.

"Let's just all calm down," Twily instructs. "Anon, go get some rest, I'll worry about this."

A million questions resurfaced.

Where's Gromit when you need him? Do I have fleas? Is Equestria home of the furries? Who's responsible? Why am I turned on so suddenly? When will Transformers end? Damn, why is this itchy as hell?!

You're scratching every inch of your body as you travel the castle to your room.

While you're reaching your goal, the itching, although still present, progressively subsides as you enter your bedroom. You faceplant on your pillow awaiting the end of this uncomfortable nightmare.

---

The next day, you wake up to pitch black darkness. You're sweating intensely and something large is suffocating you. After some clashing and thrashing, you find yourself out of bed. You struggle to catch your breath as you noticed that maybe Whooves has slipped you some Ant-Man technology because the room is FIVE times larger than you. You trip over your feet towards a mirror.

"No..."

Yep.

You're a rabbit.

You waddle to the door, slamming face first into it.

Not gonna get used to that. I know for a FACT.

The doorknob's too high, so you jump-

THUNK!

"DANG IT!!!"

And Mario your way into a near concussion with the ceiling and plummet to the floor. As you compose yourself, you hear footsteps quickly approaching your room. The door swings open, knocking your fluffy rear under the bed.

"Anon, are you alright?!"

You crawl from under the bed into view.

"NO, I AM NOT OKAY!" you howl. "NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY!"

Spike's eyes widen at your appearance.

"What happened to ya, bro?!"

"I don't know, bro!"

"BRO!"

"BROOO!!!"

Is it me, or does Spike sound like a woman pretending to sound a guy when he scream?

"Alright, alright," you sigh. "Before we have another scream fest, let's just find Twilight. Maybe she found a solution."

"Okay, let's do this." Spike nods.

As you and Spike walk towards the library, something crosses you mind.

"Before we go, can you get me a carrot or something?" you say giving him.......'the eyes'.

"D'oh, alright!" he groans walking toward the kitchen. "Not fair."

Heh, awesome.

You make it to the library to find a sleeping Twilight, where her head lies under a mountain of books. You climb up her desk and observe her resting area.

She looks so peaceful...

"WAKE UP, EGGHEAD!!!"

"I'm up!" she stutters, sending the books flying in all directions. "Answer's pegasus feathers!"

There, she spots you.

"Hello, little one. How did you get in here?"

"I took that wrong turn at Albuquerque." you joke.

"AH!" she shrieks before examining you. "Anon?"

"In the fur."

"Why is this happening?!"

"I don't know, that's why I'm here! Have you found the cure yet?!"

Twilight cringes.

"I may have kinda...sorta...lost it."

"WHAT?!"

"I did read it, but I......read the wrong incantation." she says with a sheepish smile.

"Then what incantation did you recite?"

[First off, why'd she read it aloud in the first place?! If she used the right spell, she'd at LEAST have YOU in the same room!]

"Teleportation spell. Go-Awayus Forevera."

Your sitting there, struggling to keep Anger away from the controls.

[Can I say that curse word now?"]

"I'm REALLY sorry, Anon." she says as she rubs your back.

[Pet me again, you WILL be sorr- oh, that feels good.]

"I-It's fine." you sigh. "I'm just trying to figure out HOW this all started. Things haven't started going crazy ever since that night Starlight-"

CLICK!

It finally clicks.

Twilight caught on as well. That little temptress signed you up for Fur Affinity without consent.

You storm out of the library with murderous intent.

As you hop down the hallway, you soon bump into Spike.

"Hey, Anon, I got the-"

You snatch the carrot from his claws and swallow it whole.

"Sheesh, what's up with him?"

"Starlight's responsible for Anon's HARE-raising dilemma." Twi giggles.

You stop in your tracks and give the cheeky alicorn the deadliest death glare in history before continuing your adowably pwecious storming, contemplating your next form of action.

First, I'm gonna shave her and make glue out of the remains! Then, I'll use her horn as a toothpick! Yeah, and THEN, I'll hump her leg for a while! Oh, my GOD, I got to get out of this body!

You enter Starlight's room...

After Twi and Spy caught up with you to open the door, and find her writing in a huge book.

"Morning, Twilight, Spike," the unicorn greets warmly. "Awww, whose this one belong to?"

You're so pissed, you make an Angry Bird look calm. You hop on the desk, eye level with her.

"A unicorn who's got a lot of fixing to do." you grunt, arms crossed.

Startled, Starlight flinches and falls on her flank.

"A-Anon?!" she gasps. "What happened to you? How'd you get so......fluffy?"

You spot a mirror on the desk and present it in front of her.

"I don't know, let's ask HER."

"What did I-" she stops, processing this.

Processing. Processing......COMPLETE.

Her pupils shrink to the size of pinpricks.

"Oooh, boy......that ain't good," she winces. "I'm so sorry, Anon! I'll fix this! One reversal spell coming right-" she cuts herself off, eyes widen.

Equestria must be known for their rape faces because Starlight gives you the largest, cheesiest grin ever. Twilight's smiles weren't this creepy before. Feeling a bit uneasy, you slowly back up. As you begin to take off and jump, a light-blue aura engulfs your entire body, levitating you.

I do NOT like where this is going!

"I've got this covered, Twilight." Star says, the smile still plastered on her face.

Twilight nods and leaves the room with Spike.

Suddenly, you find yourself being pulled towards the unicorn. Reacting on instinct, you grab the edge of the table for dear life......and possibly virginity!

"Uh, Twilight?" you utter. "S-Spike?!"

They're obviously ignoring you.

You soon lose your grip as Twi and Spy close the door behind them.

"TWILIGHT!!!"

You're panicking at this point until you're face-to-face with the scary mare.

"How do you feel about magic shows?" she asks mischievously.

GULP...

---

Author's Note:

Try not to Scratch challenge!

Legs are itching while writing this, lol XD

Comments

[spiketen]

"Where's Gromit when you need him?! Do I have fleas? Is Equestria home of the furries? Who's responsible? Why am I turned on so suddenly? When will Transformers end?

What am I fighting fooooooooaaarrr!?!?!?

[TheHardie-Boy]

"Something beyond your comprehension, Twi!"

You wish

[First, I'm gonna shave her and make glue out of the remains. Then, I'll use her horn as a toothpick! And THEN, I'll hump her leg for a while! Wait, wha...? GOD, I got to get out of this body.]

Again, you’d f**king LOVE that

[chrismonteith]

it may not be an ape, but definitely an animal now anon!