• Member Since 10th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Storylover-Vodhr


I write things. Sometimes. When I remember.

E

Rainbow Dash is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love. So, the obvious solution is to ask the mare in question out.

Easy peasy, right?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 30 )

Okay, I admit I was confused right up until the last sentence, but once I read that I couldn't stop laughing. Well played.

8966021
I’m sorry, but you need to speak up. :twilightsmile:

8965976
Thank ya! The entire story was made for that punchline. :rainbowlaugh:

Swefn #5 · June 4th · · ·

8966044
Well, this is awkward :twilightsheepish:. What I did type out was that I enjoyed this story. It was very cute and funny!

Auugh, now I'm the one laughing with mirth. :rainbowlaugh:

This was an excellent story. The interiority was spot on as were the characters.

Short, sweet, and cute. I love it.:twilightsmile:

Well played indeed.

*tips helmet*

I could learn a thing or two from you and Kodeake about twists in stories..,

Ri2
Ri2 #9 · June 4th · · ·

Did...did Rainbow forget she was married, or...

aidyr #10 · June 4th · · ·

Leave it to Dash to forget who she's married to

I did see the punchline coming, but this was still a fun read.

LMAO I CANT BELIEVE I JUST FELL FOR THAT. I thought her friends were being jerks XD. well played good sir:rainbowlaugh:

I come here expecting a story about infidelity. Instead I get a story about Rainbow Dash being so love struck with her wife she forgets that she can rightly consider herself the luckiest mare in the world. I don't know what to make of that.

That punchline...:rainbowlaugh:

Okay, ya got me good. I got a nice laugh out loud from the final line. XD

8967532
I have no idea what that means. :rainbowlaugh:

8966408
I love your blunt description of it. In fact, if I may, when someone gets confused, could I refer them to your comment?

8967538
It means I was expecting one thing, then you picked up my world, spun it around a few times and dropped it on it's head because I did not see that coming.

That last line!

I applaud you, sir.

8967541
Oh hell yes.

Face, meet hoof. Hoof, face. You two will be spending a lot of time together.

First : :rainbowhuh:
Then : :rainbowlaugh:

RD you are so lucky you're cute!

So Awesome. Great delivery, and everything is explained by the last sentence.

Well... I can honestly say that I didn’t see that coming.

Nice fic, but I will admit there’s not a lot of meat to it. I liked it, but I don’t think I’ll be coming back to it again.

8971438
It was a one-and-done to begin with, so there's no harm in that. And to be honest, it was made around and for the punchline, and to practice misdirection and conflicting foreshadowing on my own part.

Either way, I am happy that, even if it was on the weak side, it was at least unexpected.

Thank you for the comment! If you have any concerns or ideas that'll help me improve upon it, by all means, feel free. If not, again, thank you for giving your opinion. It's hard to work in a vacuum, especially when one is trying for a general idea of the surprised-to-expected ratio.

Lol, this was cute. Well done.

8971560
I’m not sure how much it will help, but as I was reading the fic I could tell some kind of twist was coming. I just wasn’t expecting what it turned out to be. I was guessing that everyone, Twilight included, had already assumed they were a couple and RD was just oblivious to the whole thing, kind of like Discord and Celestial in Making Family by Cirrus Sky. I would have been happy with that, but the actual twist fit much better with the characters’ reactions, in my opinion at least.

I hope you can get something useful out of that. If not, my apologies.

8973366
Nah, that’s perfect! It tells me scope, alluded to the amount of foreshadowing that was ambiguous yet ultimately fit the narrative, etc.

Thank you! :twilightsmile:

This was fun! I loved the buildup to the punchline. I featured this on episode 226 of my podcast, Pony 411.

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