Hearth Warming Eve.
Soarin' was becoming frantic as he was searching for a certain store, he remembered being told about it a month ago before Rarity left for Manessota. Soarin' saw the building’s sign, a large pegasus wing, and he sprinted towards it as the owner was closing the store.
"Wait!" Soarin almost ran into the store owner.
"Sorry, son, we're closed." The stallion turned to continue to lock the store.
Soarin' heart sank but pleaded. "Sir! Please could I buy-"
"Sorry, but I have to get home...say, do I know you?"
Soarin' knew about the Wonder Bolt posters that were shown in several towns weekly, but it didn't apply to him anymore. Soarin' got an idea. "Yeah, I'm Soarin' the Wonder Bolt."
The stallion lit up. "I love watching you- I mean uh… my niece loves to watch you perform!"
Soarin' shuddered a little bit, using his celebrity status was not something he enjoyed using. "Good to hear, I was really hoping to purchase something from you."
The stallion also had an idea. "Oh… I can’t but, if I brought home a gift for my niece I could have excuse to be late. Would you sign a poster for me?"
Soarin' smiled at his luck. "Sure!"
Soarin' went inside the store with the stallion and signed an old poster of when he was still able to fly and was in the Wonder Bolts.
"So what’s your niece’s name?" Soarin' said as he picked up the pen.
"Oh… uh… Pete..."
"Pete?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Oh.... alright." Soarin' put the pen on the poster, and over his figure he signed 'To my favorite fan, Pete, from Soarin'.
The stallion picked up the poster and his eyes shone while holding up to his face. 'Awesome...' He coughed and rolled the poster up. "Okay, so what do you need?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike walked up to the library and knocked before he went in. "I'm back!"
Twilight and Applejack saw Spike walk in. Twilight trotted over to take the bag, and then trotted into the kitchen.
Spike went over to Applejack and started chatting.
Twilight started putting the groceries away, and noticed the black box that had Applejack's name on it. She smiled at the thought of Applejack getting the gift from Spike.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soarin' gave the store owner the owed bits. "Thank you so much, sir."
The stallion smiled. "No problem, now remember I need to move some stuff around to do this, so they won’t be ready until tomorrow, is that fine?"
"Oh, that’s fine, thank you, sir." Soarin' turned to leave.
Soarin' was walking through the streets of Ponyville, the shops were all closing and the foals were heading on their way back home. Soarin' saw the foals and smiled, knowing that a foal of his own was on the way. He wanted to be one of the best dads ever, just like his own father. Soarin' and his father had a strong relationship, it was as if they were best friends. Soarin' continued to admire Ponyville's holiday decorations, the wreaths hung from doors, and silver and red tinsel lined the houses under a thin layer of snow.
Soarin' made it to the library and went inside and almost ran into Apple Jack.
"Sorry there Soarin' ah was just leavin'." Applejack apologized.
"You can't stay?"
"No sorry, ah got to get up early and get the last of the apples in the orchard. But ah'll be here for sure tomorrow for Hearth Warmin' Eve." Applejack smiled and left the library.
Soarin' trotted over to Spike, who was dazed from a kiss from Applejack. "Yo Spike?"
"Huh? Oh hey Soarin'." Spike leaned closer to Soarin'. "Did you get it?"
"Yeah." Soarin' whispered.
Twilight walked in from the kitchen to the living room where Spike and Soarin' were talking. "Hi Soarin', how was caroling with the local foals?"
Soarin' was confused. "What? …Oh! Yeah it was fun."
Twilight walked up to Soarin' and nuzzled him. "Do you like the decorations Applejack and I put up?"
Soarin' looked around and saw the library had gone from plain, to colorful with some stockings, and some antiques that Twilight had for seasonal decoration. "It's great!" Soarin' said before he gave Twilight a light kiss.
"I'm going to bed, it's late and I promised Pinkie I would help her at Sugar Cube Corner tomorrow."
Soarin' stretched tired from the day of going through Ponyville with all of the crazed ponies. "Yeah, I'm tired too. Night Spike." Soarin' and Twilight went up the stairs to get to sleep.
Spike moved his bed downstairs in the living room ever since Soarin' moved in. Spike turned off all of the lights in the house and went to bed as well.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Hearth Warming Eve)
Soarin' woke up and saw that Twilight had already left. Soarin' went downstairs and saw that Spike was also gone. 'I should give Pete some time before I go pick up Twilight's gift...Guess I'll go watch some of Spike's movies.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike and Applejack were working in the orchard, Applejack was bucking the trees and Spike climbed up the trees and jumped down on the branches making the apples fall into a basket below.
Spike jumped down from a tree and started carrying the basket to the apple cart. "How much longer till we are done AJ?"
Applejack answered in mid-buck. "No much... umf... longer." Applejack wiped the sweat on her forehead, and then looked into the sky and saw that snow was starting up. "We should speed up, snows comin'."
Applejack and Spike started working together to clear trees instead of spreading out. Applejack would fling Spike into the tree, Spike would jump around the limbs of the trees while Applejack caught them as they fell to the ground.
They had finished their work and the snow was falling harder. Applejack was pulling the cart back to the barn with Spike pushing the cart, and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo appeared from behind the trees and pelted both Spike and Applejack with snowballs.
Applejack's hat was hit off of her head. "What the hay?"
Spike got hit in the arm and he kneeled down in the snow with his arms tucked away from view.
Applejack went over to Spike. "Are ya' all right?"
Spike returned with a few snowballs he had made in secret. "Here AJ, take some!" Spike tossed a few upwards to Applejack. Spike started throwing his supply of snowballs at the two fillies with Applejack joining him soon after.
The two fillies ducked behind some trees and started making more snowballs. Apple Bloom returned from the tree in a dive throwing two snowballs, purposely aimed at Applejack.
Applejack was still confused over what was happening, but threw her last snowball at Apple Bloom and knocked her bow off.
Spike pushed Applejack behind the apple cart. Spike looked at the confused Applejack. "Haven't you ever been in a snowball fight before?"
Applejack rubbed the back of her head with an innocent smile. "No, not really... ah usually just stayed inside when snow came."
Spike looked appalled. "But AJ they're fun! Here let me show you how to make a snowball." Spike reached down into the snow and grabbed a claw-full of snow. "You just take some snow, and pack it down into a tight ball so you can throw it without it breaking apart in the air." Spike slowly worked his claws around the snow and compacted it into an almost perfect ball to demonstrate it to Applejack. He held up the snowball at her to show her the finished product. "Try not to grab any ice, that can really hurt someone, make sure its powdered snow." Spike peeked over the cart and saw Scootaloo preparing to go over to Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo started galloping to reach her friend but was hit in the side with a snowball that sent her reeling sideways. She regained her balance and made it to Apple Bloom and started brushing off the left over snow at her side. "Man that dragon has some aim."
Apple Bloom sighed a little. "Yeah… Here start reloading."
Applejack held up an oval of snow. "uh... how’s this?" The snow in her hand collapsed into a pile.
Spike took Applejack's hooves. "No, like this." He forced her hooves over the ball, packing it in all directions.
Applejack looked up from their grasp over the snow, and met Spike's eyes. Spike was blushing at what he was doing, Applejack did as well. The snow was melting a little bit from the heat of their hooves and claws.
A ray of light came from the sky over Applejack, the light reflecting off of her mane, which was no longer been tied up at the bottom and just dropped down low. Spike just stared at her.
"Spike?" Applejack's eyes were glinting and made her eyelashes also reveal themselves in a more delicate manor.
"uh... duh.." Spike was dumbstruck at the sight of Applejack in the perfect light.
Apple Bloom pulled out a walkie talkie. "Scoot pull out the map." Apple Bloom looked at the map, brushing her hoof against a large hill and bringing it down to the area they were in. Apple Bloom pressed talk and the little radio buzzed a little bit. "Calling a 'Broken Arrow' in 400 yards from A-Hill to center orchard, 13 degrees north."
The little radio buzzed back with a giggle. "Okie dokie lokie!"
A cannon shot came from the distance.
Spike was inches from Applejack's face, both of their eyes were closed, forgetting about the snowball fight.
A whistling sound was coming from the air and it forced them to look up in fright at the deafening noise.
Spike's eyes grew wide while staring into the sky. "Applejack! Your sister is insane!"
A large bowling ball-sized snowball was hurling down to the earth and it landed a few feet from them and it caused snow to splatter over them.
Applejack wiped the snow from her face. "What the hay? How do they do these things?!"
Cannon shots started rapidly echoing through the orchard.
Spike saw the volley of giant snowballs heading straight towards them. "AJ, I think we should run..."
Applejack nodded and they both quickly started pushing the apple cart as fast as they could away from the area that was being bombarded by snow.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both screamed after a high-hoof. "Cutie Mark Crusader radio signalers!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike and Applejack made it back to the Apple family house after they set the apple cart in the barn. Applejack led Spike inside the house and Granny Smith was asleep on the chair. Applejack put some logs into the fire place and then sat down in front of the flames, she patted the ground next to her and smiled at Spike.
Spike sat down next to Applejack and put his arm over her shoulder. They sat with closed eyes joined together in front of the warm fire, saying nothing.
A mare entered the room. "Oh...um... hi."
Spike and Applejack turned around and saw Fluttershy and said in unison. "Hi Fluttershy."
"Sorry, I was just checking because I heard fire."
"That’s fine, me an’ Spike were jus' warmin' up from bein' outside fer so long. Where's Big Mac?"
"He’s in the kitchen. We’re starting to cook the Hearth Warming dinner now." Fluttershy returned to the kitchen to help Big Macintosh.
Spike stood up. "I should head back to the library and start cooking ours as well."
Applejack got up to walk Spike to the door. "Ah'll see you later, Spike." Applejack smiled.
Spike smiled back, he leaned forward and surprised Applejack with a peck on the lips. He pulled away, noticing he surprised her. "Oh… I'm sorry I just-" Apple jack interrupted him with a kiss that made Spike's knees wobble. After the kiss Spike left with a goofy wave and smile to Applejack.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Twilight walked into the library, her mane was a mess. She walked up the stairs and collapsed on her bed, remembering the day.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Flashback)
Sugar Cube Corner was packed with ponies and Mr. Cake was doing his best to try and organize them, but his shouts were drained by the several shouts of frantic customers.
Pinkie, Twilight, and Mrs. Cake were in the kitchen frantically running around, checking the stoves and ovens.
"Twilight, I need you to start on these orders!" Mrs. Cake handed Twilight a slip of paper and then ran back to her stove.
Twilight looked at the paper. 'Ginger bread ponies, no problem....how do I make those?' Twilight trotted over to a cook book and opened it up and sped through reading a page on ginger bread. She took a deep breath. "Okay, I got this."
(20 minutes later)
A giant 15 foot tall ginger bread pony was rampaging through the kitchen, turning over tables and spilling ingredients over the floor.
"Twilight! What did you do?" Mrs. Cake shrieked.
"I'm sorry! They were taking so long to bake I used my magic to speed it up and it just came to life and grew!"
Pinkie Pie stood in front of the ginger bread pony, she had a full set of armor on with a lance. "Stop, thy foul creature! And taste thine lance!" Pinkie jabbed at the monster of a cookie and it retreated to the back of the kitchen.
The tiles of the floor were opened and twenty ponies with cannons appeared from the void, all wearing red uniforms and hats. They all screamed. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" and then they fired, forcing the cookie beast to fall and return to its inanimate state.
Pinkie bounced over, now out of her armor, to the ponies that were all high-hoofing each other. "Thanks for the help!" Pinkie smiled at the pony that had the most decorated red uniform.
"The Spanish Inquisition helps all who need it the most. Our chief weapons are surprise, surprise and fear. Our two weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency."
"Oooh! I love your uniforms!" Pinkie was staring into a gold medal.
"Yes, but we must be going. Goodbye." The ponies disappeared back into the dark void and the tiles were slid back into their respective places.
Mrs. Cake and Twilight just stared at what just happened. Mrs. Cake went over to the ginger bread monster and poked at it with her hoof.
"Mrs. Cake! We can use this to fill all of our ginger bread orders!" Pinkie smiled at the idea.
"Is it safe Twilight?"
"I-I guess so…" Twilight looked at the tiles where the ponies had come from. 'How did they do that?'
With all of the ginger bread orders being brought out, half of the crowd was gone and happy, now they had less pressure to deal with.
Mrs. Cake trotted up to Twilight. "Could you pass out some coffee to the remaining customers?"
"Don't you need more help in the kitchen?"
"NO!" Twilight recoiled from the yell. "I mean, you've helped so much, I think you should take it easy now dearie."
Twilight took a plate of cups and a pot of coffee and walked into the less-chaotic room of ponies. She trotted up to a stallion who was sitting down and being patient, she handed him a cup and started pouring when another pony tapped her shoulder and Twilight turned her head.
"Could I have a cup miss?"
"Of course, one mo-"
"Arrghh!" The pony that was being poured coffee screamed, Twilight was pouring it on his lap.
"I'm so sorry sir!" Twilight handed him some napkins.
"It's alright... I'm sure I'll be better by tomorrow..." The stallion's tennis racket fell to the floor as he stood up to wipe the coffee off of himself.
Twilight continued to serve coffee to the ponies in the lobby, still feeling bad about spilling it on the stallion.
Eventually all of the ponies had left and the Cakes closed the shop.
"Well that went well." Mrs. Cake took a deep breath. "Where did Pinkamena go?" She looked around for Pinkie but couldn't find her.
"I'm sure she will be back soon. I better get home to Soarin', good bye Mrs. Cake."
Mrs. Cake smiled. "Good bye and Pinkie told me you’re having a foal."
"Yes, I am." Twilight rubbed her stomach, smiling.
"Well, congratulations, I better go start cleaning." Mrs. Cake trotted back into the kitchen.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Present)
Twilight was rubbing her temples with her hooves, slightly stressed from earlier. Twilight jumped when she heard a cannon shot from the distance. 'Must be Pinkie's party cannon...'
Twilight dropped her head back again, but then heard several cannons firing at once.
"Ugh..." Twilight just closed her eyes and fell asleep, despite the cannon fire.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soarin' was walking from the shop and waving bye to the owner with an envelope in his mouth. He started walking back to the library and on the way back he heard a cannon shot in the distance and jumped. 'It's probably just Pinkie's cannon...' He continued to walk back, but then heard multiple cannons firing continuously. 'I thought she only had one?' Soarin' decided to ignore it and walk home.
Soarin' was back at the library, he took the envelope and hid it in one of the stockings that was hanging on the wall. "Hello? Anypony home?" He went up the stairs and saw Twilight passed out on the bed. He smiled and entered the bed next to her and rubbed her stomach after giving her a peck on the cheek, he fell asleep soon afterwards.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soarin' and Twilight both woke up to the smell of the dinner from downstairs.
"Guys! Dinner will be done soon!" Spike yelled up the stairs before he walked back into the kitchen.
Soarin' and Twilight stretched from their nap, they trotted down the stairs with their tails intertwined and made their way to the dining room where they saw AppleJack.
"Hi AJ." Twilight said as she and Soarin' sat down.
Spike brought in several plates filled with seasonal foods and placed them on the table. Spike sat down and then they thanked Celestia and Luna for the night and day.
The four enjoyed the Hearth Warming Eve meal together, all complementing Spike on his expert cooking.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After the meal was done they all helped clean up. Twilight was still tired from earlier so she went back to bed soon after. Soarin, Spike and Apple Jack were downstairs talking.
"Soarin' did you get Twilight's gift?"
"Yeah."
"What is it? I reckon it’s a book, she does love her books."
"No, I got her a nice gift we could share together that she would enjoy."
"So what is it Soarin'?"
"I want it to be a complete surprise. You'll know tomorrow, I'm going to bed too, night AJ."
Spike and AppleJack were left alone in the living room after Soarin' trotted up the stairs.
"So ah better be going, Ah'll see ya tomorrow Spike." Apple Jack smiled and turned to start for the door.
"Wait! AppleJack, I know it’s early, but I want to give it to you now." Spike said as he kicked the ground lightly with his hands behind his back.
AppleJack turned back to Spike.
Spike brought out the little black box and gave it to AppleJack.
AppleJack opened it and gasped at the necklace. "Spike, it's lovely." Applejack took it out of the box and opened it, inside was a picture of Spike and herself. She death hugged Spike and kissed his cheek. "Yer such a sweet dragon."
"Thanks AJ…" Spike blushed at the compliment. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
Applejack cleared her throat a little. "Well, I would like it if you came over tonight, Spike." Applejack smiled at Spike and her eyes lowered a little bit.
Spike noticed Applejack's change of behavior and got nervous. "T-that sounds g-good AJ..."
Applejack put her hat on Spike and they walked out of the library into the cold winter night.
Twilight and Soarin' were upstairs sleeping peacefully.
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Do you have any idea what will happen if the Daaw levels get any higher? My God man, you could kill someone through oxygen deprivation! Or worse, you could rip a hole in the fabric of space and time and drag all of your readers into the story!
Well written. Few mistakes. Loving it so far, it's certainly the right season for it.
SO MUCH DAWWWWWWW
62480 lol, that sounds like fun actually...
When in doubt call in artillery support, nice to see the CMC having some good military sense. All in all a great chapter and I'm quite happy to see it being posted... for some reason I've been gettng update messages but no new chapter.
Fucking Awesome! Just like I just like imagined and you kept it varied enough to surprise the hell out of me.
It woulda been funnier/creepier if the ginger bread creature had spoken and screamed. Like an angry cookie Frankenstein's monster.
AJ X Spike for the win
My favorite scenes to make with were Apple Jack and spike's day, the ginger bread monster and spilling hot boiling coffee on Ace the tennis player's nads.
Peace out.
Lmao
wow that snowball fight, oh that gingerbread pony, oh that Pinkie, oh that spanish inquasition, OH THOSE CANNONS! ALL MY D'AAAAAAWWWWWW. Great job team joker 
62528 Yeah sorry about that, alot of grammar changes to chapter 1, our pre-reader felt that he could do a better job, so he did and we are glad he is doing the best he can to help us bring you this story
62559
That's what I figured, after the second time. And thanks fro trying to make this good.
62510You heartless monster!
i just noticed something.. i forgot to put italics on the dialogue in their minds... ill just fix that
"I'm sure she will be back soon. I better get home to Soarin', good bye Mrs. Cake."
Mrs. Cake smiled. "Good bye and Pinkie told me you’re having a foal."
"Yes, I am." Twilight rubbed her stomach, smiling.
"Well, congratulations, I better go start cleaning." Mrs. Cake trotted back into the kitchen.
__________________________
Bar none the most heartwarming thing I've ever read.
62528
Actually they excited that particular strategy backwards. If they had opened with artillery they could have bogged down AJ and Spike and then move in and take then out with snowball at close range.
62528
Actually they excited that particular strategy backwards. If they had opened with artillery they could have bogged down AJ and Spike and then move in and take then out with snowball at close range.
No one expects the Pinkie Inquisition!
But in all seriousness, horribly cute, and just in time for the holidays
You're improving quite a bit. This chapter was much more presentable then any previous chapter of this story or Purple Skies. (Speaking to everyone on your team, after my conversations with Waffle, I don't really know who to address.)
Your prose still needs quite a bit of work, as well as the way you transition between scenes. It doesn't flow together as nicely as it should. You're slowing down quite a bit now, if not for me feeling obligated to read this story I still might be doing it anyways. It is still tad a bit fast paced, let me explain your problem. It is a very common one, I've made the mistake myself many times without even noticing.
What you're doing is summarizing. I could pretty much tell by reading this that you were eager to get to the end when you were writing it. (The ending was actually pretty good, don't worry.) A good example of when you did this is the Sugarcube Corner scene. You stated the problems, and within lines had already solved them. Instead of doing that, you should expand on the scene more. Write what happens in the middle. Go through an entire fight sequence between the Gingerbread Monster and Pinkie's army of Spaniards.
The dialogue was still a bit sketchy and awkward. Like I said - it needs to flow more naturally. Expand on what the characters are thinking when they talk, have them express body language more often. Instead of line after line of dialogue, maybe a paragraph to explain well what the character is feeling and thinking before and after they say something. This will make it easier for the reader to understand the story you're trying to tell them, and it will end up being much better. Remember, character creation is everything. The reader needs to be able to understand how a character will react to something before they read it, and that's how you know when you've done a great job.
Now, here's a small example of what I'd of done differently with this paragraph:
=============
Original: Twilight was rubbing her temples with her hooves, slightly stressed from earlier. Twilight jumped when she heard a cannon shot from the distance. 'Must be Pinkie's party cannon...'
Twilight dropped her head back again, but then heard several cannons firing at once.
"Ugh..." Twilight just closed her eyes and fell asleep, despite the cannon fire.
---
My Revision: The stress of the eventful day was finally catching up to the purple mare as she slowly ascended to her room on the second floor of the library. Twilight let out a small sigh as she crept into her bed and lied down, gratefully welcoming the familiar sensation of drifting pleasantly into a deep sleep...
BOOM!
Twilight jolted upwards in sudden disarray as a cannon erupted in the distance. It was followed by many similar noises, all of which seemed to be happening simultaneously. She chuckled softly and shook her head as thoughts of Pinkie's usual hi-jinks drowned any worry over the violent fanfare.
She smiled warmly as she laid her head back against the pillow, and soon fell asleep to the rhythmic drum beats of cannon fire in the background.
=============
That's just an example from me. Twister, if you aren't the main writer, then please tell whoever is to read my comments. Far from exceptional, but this chapter was indeed an improvement from the previous. As unexpected as it may seem from me - Good job!
Can't wait to read chapter three, expect another review.
-Hato F.
Also! I caught that John Trevaulta reference in there, I didn't expect you to be a fan of old '90s movies.
I don't know what's worse, that we have a missing active nuke, or that it happens so often that we have a code name for it.
Cute.Nice Monty Python reference in the form of the Spanish Inquisition.
63581 No, Im not a fan of John Travolta, Broken Arrow is a military signaler call to bring in an airstrike to unload all of what their air support has on one area.
Using a Broken Arrow is a last resort because after its use air support is at a zero presence as the planes reload.
Also if im a fan from a movie era, it would be from the 60's to the 80's afterwards im indifferent.
But also, yes I am the main writer. I write the stories as how I like to read them,
63581 Well, I do like 'The Face Off' with John Trevolta and i think it was Ben stiller, that was a good movie
63793
Broken Arrow is also a very popular movie about an air force captain who becomes a terrorist and steals nuclear weapons. I thought that was what you were getting at, oh well.
On an important note, I do hope you take my advice more seriously this time, I tried to be more constructive. You were right, I kept those comments on word documents and they did seem a tad harsh.
Again, you predominately just need to make the storyline flow more naturally. I offered this to Waffle, I don't know if he forwarded my messages to you, but If you need an editor I would be happy to. I have some spare time now and then between writing my own fics.
Don't reply to this comment, send an Inbox message please. If you're interested of course.
You sir need to stop scaring my dog. Every time I got somthing that made me laugh my dog freaked out. Anywho well done this is more then I ever thought it could ever be when I handed the idea over to you. I also agree with ever thing waffle said, this has you writen all over it. (Pun Intended) I love this and the dwaa factor is amazing. Not to much but not to little.
Cheers, Jolttix
Lol you had me at the Monty Python line.
Made my night.
hummmmmm do i feel a proposal comen along in the near future hummmmmm
64051
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Deja vu, Before he posted this chapter we were chatting as he was finishing it and he mentioned the scene with Scoots and Bloom and the term: Broken Arrow. I'm like the 90's Travolta flick where he highjacks a bunch of nukes and Winter is like no the military term. I was mildly disappointed cause I like that movie or any film where Travolta can be both evil and campy.
Peace Out.
62480 He already killed me also i'm a ghost beep beep