• Member Since 21st May, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Samey90


I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".

Sequels1

Comments ( 50 )

Heh, nice Bonus there. The Heart cabal is not pleased.

And who wouldn't want to taser Rainbow Dash?

And the series continues! Are we gonna get a VI?

Oh gods that ending :rainbowlaugh:

Dude, I'd ask you to stop trying to kill me with laughter, but that would mean no more Well, this is awkward. And that's something I could never wish for :twilightsmile:

8957234 Is that like an IV where you drain fluids out of a patient?

Tase the Rainbow! :rainbowlaugh:

Now we wait for 6

So much for Maud being normal lol

8957214

Oh god

You know how serious things are when it's you saying that :pinkiehappy:

8957216

The Heart cabal

In the end it'll turn out they're all a family. Somehow.

8958372
8957234
Might happen sooner or later, as you can see.

8957310
If you do get killed with laughter, watch out for Nursery. She's a strange filly.

8958004

Is that like an IV where you drain fluids out of a patient?

Side effects include dry sense of humour.

8958236
It'd be pretty ironic if Lightning got shocked too...

8958417
She's normal for Ponyville. That's probably still normal.

8958632
Your avatar is the face AJ made when Rainbow got tased :rainbowlaugh:

I really enjoy these stories. They make my day.

“After all, she’s an expert. Not to mention that Dr. Nuts and Dr. Conkers also stated that the princess’ stress levels are off the fucking charts.”

Hee hee.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/5agz-1516567757-398706-full

Another great one keep going strong

Sandbar, covered in bandages, Smolder, Yona, Silverstream, who’s apparently the patient zero, Gallus, who also got syphilis from Silverstream, and Ocellus – she’s actually fine, though not for the lack of trying.

I love my friends, and they love me,
We're just as close as we can be.
And just because we really care,
Whatever we get, we share!
:moustache:

8960374
Might be. Though I wonder where Twi got it...

8963147
I was kinda thinking of this song :pinkiehappy:

8963155
I typically avoid [M] rated stories, but this came recommended to me by a friend. I have family in the medical industry (PAs, RNs...) so this series was quite enjoyable. All the bits about bodily fluids and removing foreign bodies from bums brings back dinner time memories when all my older brothers and their wives came by for the holidays. Perhaps in the sequel, Redheart gets to perform maggot parasprite debridement therapy?

I try to get out, but you just keep pulling me back in! How do you keep topping yourself with this insanity?!

8963309
I wonder if using parasprites is even legal in Equestria... Not that'd stop her.

8964488
It's a mad world, after all :pinkiecrazy:

I think everyone is gonna need those pills! :D

God, this was hilarious. I did some legit belly laughs.

“We can’t even get her out,” Kind Heart says. “Faint Heart said that being a Princess of Friendship doesn’t mean you can just get out of her ward.”

You have no idea how much I legit love this. I'm not sure I can put it into words. But yeah. No princess is above the law!

Anyway, great story overall.

8967042
Guess they have to do that, or else they'd have to let out the guy who thinks he's Sombra (all three of them).

Syphilis is Magic

Now I question Twilight as to who truly is Patient Zero.

8963309
I have several members who are or were in the medical field so I remember some of those "fun" dinner-table discussions. I'm going to have to share this with them if for nothing else than to see their reaction to all the Doctor slang (I looked some of it up and it looks like samey did his/her research).

"You gotta see this,” he says.

“We’re having a disciplinary committee meeting here, doctor,” Purple Heart replies, frowning.

Me cago en la leche de tu comité disciplinario,” Dr. Semicolon says, smiling. “I have a patient whose girlfriend shoved a rock up his ass! Who wouldn’t want to see this?”

Oh god I NEED to see this.

Maud thinks for a moment. “Two of my sisters have a crippling alcohol addiction.”

big mood

9491246
Yeah, she probably caught 'em all. That'd explain her last episode.

9491363
Syphilitic Insanity will do that to you.

Maud strikes back! :rainbowlaugh:

will there be more this is hilarious:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::derpyderp1:

At least this guy is a pony. Not that I mind, but when I first tried to take a blood sample from a changeling, it melted a syringe. Not to mention that, as Nursery found out, any attempts to vaccinate a yak end with wrestling moves and countless needles lost in the thick fur.

...so the Changelings are fucking Xenomorphs apparently

I also invited Twilight Sparkle who’s accompanied by Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spike. I keep some anti-anxiety pills on my desk, just in case. The princess seems rather stressed. The stun gun is also near my hoof, if things go that bad. Also, I always wanted to tase Rainbow Dash.

TASE THE RAINBOW MOTHER FUCKER!

“That’s not important right now,” Twilight says, levitating my stun gun back on my desk. “Can I get some pills?”

Translation:DOPE ME DADDY!

“ Me cago en la leche de tu comité disciplinario, ” Dr. Semicolon says, smiling. “I have a patient whose girlfriend shoved a rock up his ass! Who wouldn’t want to see this?”

Damn Maud getting that revenge huh?

9974883
Maybe that's her fetish, who knows.

any attempts to vaccinate a yak end with wrestling moves and countless needles lost in the thick fur.

Goddamn those Anti-yaxxers.

I wonder if it’s some homework or other shit. Don’t get me wrong, but back in my day, we didn’t need school to learn about friendship. On the other hoof, maybe that’s why all my friends are dysfunctional halfwits with sadistic tendencies.

...I mean...yeah that's a distinct possibility.

10062060
I still don't know how I did.

Guess Maud has that problem too. XD

At least this guy is a pony. Not that I mind, but when I first tried to take a blood sample from a changeling, it melted a syringe. Not to mention that, as Nursery found out, any attempts to vaccinate a yak end with wrestling moves and countless needles lost in the thick fur.

Already used anti-yaxxers so,
... yaxtards?

“I got it from a girl,” Sandbar mutters, spreading his legs slightly and revealing the textbook symptoms of what we call Prench disease. I’m pretty sure they call it Equestrian disease in Prance, so in order to avoid an international conflict, doctors called it ‘syphilis’, which is fancy for “I should’ve thought twice before coming in here”.

Should've thought twice before coming in her as well.

“Oh, shut up!” an orange dragon of non-assumable gender yells at another dragon who I recognise as the Dragon Lord Ember herself. You know, I read newspapers and shit. I wonder if it’s customary for dragons to tell their lord to shut up.

I thought Smolder was a guy for like...six months at first.

“I don’t know where I got it, I swear!” Spike exclaims. “Unless it was–” He collapses, getting hit by roughly fifty thousand volts of electricity.

Well now we know Spike isn't related to Laxus Dreyer.

10600291

I thought Smolder was a guy for like...six months at first.

Same here. The fact she doesn't have eyelashes like other female characters makes it harder to tell.

10601293
Yeah...just like the Kirin.

Sometimes, there are those rare cases when a patient is normal. Seriously, there are only a few relatively normal ponies I know and Maud Pie is most definitely one of them. She’s calm, she doesn’t bleed on the floor, and she always follows the recommendations when taking meds. That’s why when I see her in the ER I’m kinda glad that, for once, I won’t have to do something that’ll give me mental images I most definitely don’t want.

I'm high as fuck and my body is ready.

Okay, it’s a donut. Although, as Sweetheart noted, a pretty suggestive one, with chocolate and sprinkles. And before someone asks, soon after Dr. Semicolon was hired, we had to reset our “days since Sweetheart last cucked her husband” counter. Fifth time this year.

If it happens so often they have counter , does her husband know.

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