Soarin' Ducking Windsong

Sounds of celebration filled the restaurant's reservation room where the Wonderbolts congratulated each other on yet another great show. Soarin' Windsong interrupted his conversation with his best friend Fire Streak to look at the clock.

"Wow, time sure flies fast," he said

"Not as fast as you, though. Right, Clipper?" Fire Streak smirked, raised his glass, and took a sip.

Soarin' raised his glass with a smile, but instead of drinking set his half-filled glass down on the table. "I'd drink to that, but I think I've already had enough. I'll see you Monday, bud." He made his rounds, saying his farewells to his teammates before flying off into the night. It didn't take long for him to realize his vision was starting to blur and his flight patterns were starting to become more erratic.

I guess I'm more tired than I thought, he thought, or that drink was stronger than I thought. I should land somewhere and sleep it off.

He started scanning the ground, trying to find a piece of land that was large enough and flat enough for a landing. Unsurprisingly, it was difficult in his current state for Soarin' to figure out whether a piece of land was hilly or just looked that way.

A few minutes later he noticed a spot below him with stars surrounded by darkness. He craned his neck upward to make sure he wasn't just flying upside down before he realized that it was the surface of a lake reflecting the night sky. He descended and, still under the influence, landed in the lake. His legs flailed and quickly touched the bottom of the lake, and he pulled himself out of the water, coughing. He was glad that nopony had seen him make the splash landing.

Nearby, a duck had stopped preening its wings, its curiosity piqued when it heard the splash and saw a pony climb out. Once Soarin' had stopped coughing, he found his gaze locked onto the duck's.

"Are you challenging me to a rashe?" he asked, still drunk despite the cold water. "You know who I am, donchu? I'm Shoarin' Windshong, captain of the Wonderboltsh! You can't win."

The duck didn't respond, instead choosing to start preening its feathers again.

"You ashked for it, duck... Firsht one acrosshh the lake winzh. Three... two... one... go!"

With his mind set on racing, Soarin's vision cleared and he sped across the lake. The duck didn't move from its position, having completely lost interest. He pumped his hoof in the air in celebration, and turned around to face his imagined competitor.

"Hey, duck!" the pale blue pegasus shouted across the lake, reveling in trash-talking his opponent. "You're no good, duck! You'll never be -hic-! You're jusht... like... your father!"

As he spoke that last sentence, he realized that shouting so soon after partying like he had was not a good idea, as his head started to hurt and he started to lose his balance. He reminded himself not to yell so soon after drinking so much, but wasn't sure he'd remember. Suddenly his legs went limp and he started falling

but with a flash of magic his head landed on the pillow of his soft cloud bed instead of on the hard ground. He had been teleported from the lake to his house.

Please excuse me a moment.

Back at the lake, I search for the draconequus I knew must have been nearby. Only a few characters have shown proficiency in teleportation, and only one of them was both unoccupied at the moment and hidden from my sight no matter how hard I focused on trying to find him.

Discord? I call out, trying to find him among the trees. Discord!

Discord appears at the apex of an upside-down carpet folded to make a set of stairs, wearing a vibrant red tuxedo and a black domino mask as if he was a noble, and a red cape that simultaneously looked as light as silk and as heavy as velvet. His tux and cape were adorned with intricate golden accents, including some words in Prench across his chest. He starts descending on the underside of a rug folded like a set of stairs. Or would he be ascending, since that's what he'd be doing if the camera was upside-down as well, putting the carpet right-side up? Your chaos confuses me sometimes.

"Like I say, Loose Leaf, what fun is there in making sense? So who really knows if I'm descending or ascending, anyway?" he says, conjuring up what looks to be an empty bucket of popcorn. He takes an ear of corn out and closes his mouth around it. He pulls it out, leaving just the empty cob. I think that qualifies as eating it.

Discord, what are you doing here? While I'm grateful he didn't get hurt from hitting the ground, you're not listed as one of the featured characters in this story.

"I was bored and just so happened to overhear somepony arguing, but apparently with nopony because there was no response. So I hopped on over," at this he gave himself bunny legs and cheap thrift store bunny ears and started hopping in place, "only to discover that there was a drunk pegasus arguing with a duck!"

I'm not sure why expected anything different. This is a bit of an inconvenience, though. Now I have to change the story's description to include you.

"Now, hold on a moment, Loose Leaf. I don't think I have to remind you that I'm a draconequus, not a pony. You only said no pony was watching up there in the seventh paragraph (not to mention the long description), so I made sure nopony else walked by. Your description and list of featured characters doesn't need to change on my account!"

Even though "nopony" and "no pony" only sound the exact same when spoken aloud, I had to concede his point. Leave it to the Lord of Chaos to find a loophole like that.

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