• Member Since 20th Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

AntiBronyBenSwolo


I might as well be the only Anti-Brony here. Anyway, I also like Star Wars :P

E

Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, has begun her invasion on Canterlot, and is expecting someone to show up to it. Unfortunatley, neither Chrysalis or the visitor know how to properly act during an invasion and think they're in something else entirely.

Please help me, I'm so bored.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 44 )

Holy Shit! You actually did it! *reader dies from laughing soo hard*

8943616
Whooo!!! I sure did steam a good ham :D

8943620
😂😂😂😂😂😂

*snrk*

Oh, this is definitely going in my comedy folder. :rainbowlaugh:

Oh, and have an upvote too. :rainbowkiss:

No its steam clams

8943645
But they said steams hams. That's what they call hamburgers :)

8943651
They taste an awful-lot like the burgers served at Krusty Burgers.

8943664
D'oh no. Patented skinner burgers :D

Well swolo you are an odd fellow, but I must say.
You write a good story.

Me before reading: Darn you! You stole the "steamed hams but it's an MLP fanfic" idea right out from under me you jerk! :twilightangry2:

Me after reading Well Swolo you are an odd Sith Lord but I must say, You steam a good hay. :twilightsmile:

Oh my god, that was great. This is definitely something I could see the twi and chrysalis from the infinite loops seriese doing.
OH!! Before I forget, here's a good meme.

One of the best remixes I've heard!

You actually did it.
I genuinely didn’t think you would but you did. I’m really happy you did, so happy my gut is threatening to burst from giggles.


Glen Gorewood

AAAAAAAAAnd now my brain hurts. Whether its from reading fanfic for about 24 hours or from this work, I'll never know.

What I do know, is that you call this a fanfiction despite the fact that it's obviously a reskin.

WHEEZEing intensifies
This was great.

8943973
9/10 ain't bad, so I'm good :P

It's funny. I actually considered doing this concept myself, but with FoE instead of a Changeling invasion.

well seymour i made it
despite your directions

8944753
Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome.
I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

As soon as she entered the room, she saw an upside-down cocooned Celestia spectating the changelings running around in panic as the stove had an extra thicc smoke come out of it, causing the fire alarm to almost go off. Chrysalis gasped as she ran over to the stove, revealing a giant roast burning in a pan of flames.

"extra thicc"?

A meme inside a meme... well played, sir, well played indeed. :rainbowlaugh:

8944915
Thank you. I try my best to bring out the S P I C I E S T memes I can cook :)

S t e a m y

This was certainly amusing. The one thing I'd do is show the characters' reactions instead of just telling them (i.e. showing Chrysalis's panic with her eyes).

Other than that, that was certainly a good Steamed Clam-Fic.

8945170
Well, I thank you for the tip anyways :)

So I had a couple gripes with this fic from the first paragraph.

>Screams poured out from the windows of the Canterlot palace as what was supposed to be a wedding has turned into a huge battleground between the ponies of Equestria and Queen Chrysalis' Changelings. Chrysalis cackled her head off as she had her minions take Princess Celestia into the kitchen to have her cocooned upside-down. Suddenly, the queen heard the doorbell of the castle ring. None of her soldiers were expecting visitors, what with the fighting and whatnot, but Chrysalis, in fact was expecting someone. She walked up to the large doors and answered it. It was Twilight Sparkle

You made some attempts at imagery here, which I did appreciate more than a straight infodump. However, this doesn't detract from what this paragraph functionally is: an infodump. Let me break down some parts of it that I disliked and thought you had room for improvement on.

>...what was supposed to be a wedding has turned into a huge battleground between the ponies of Equestria and Queen Chrysalis' Changelings

You had a ton of room for description here and easily could have stretched this into a paragraph or two of description, which would have immersed the reader in the story to a greater degree.

> None of her soldiers were expecting visitors, what with the fighting and whatnot, but Chrysalis, in fact was expecting someone.

This is a very stylistically clunky sentence that creates a sensation of pain upon being read. The

>,what with the fighting and whatnot,

was unnecessary to the reader's understanding of the scene and the flow of the sentence and should be removed.

Anyways, I'm not going to criticize it any further, since I don't really think you intended for this fic to stand up to review due to its genre/subject content. Right now I'd rate it a hard 3/10, with a lot of room for improvement if you would expand your descriptions more and actually show instead of tell us what's going on in a scene. Don't take this as a personal insult; it's just my opinion.

8945559
I find it funny you took reviewing it this seriously ._.

8945565

Well your profile pic is a 10/10 ;)

JackRipper
Story Approver

How wonderfully stupid.

8946592
Oh egads
My roast is ruined!
What if...If I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking
Ho ho ho ho. Delightfully devilish Seymore.

8946614
uh—
🎵 Skinner with his crazy explanations,
The superintendent's gonna need his medication,
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight! 🎵

SEYMOUR!

8946812
Superintendent! I was just...stretching my calves on the windowsill Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

8946827
why is there smoke coming from your oven, seymour?

8946977
Oh, that isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmmm. Steamed clams.

8948299
Phew!

Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.

I rate this fic 0 out of 10.
*clop clop*
Fic review.

This must be the best version of that meme that I've seen. Good work!

3:30 AM was definitely the right time to read this

Well, Anti-Brony. You are an odd fellow. But I must say, you write a good fic.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!