• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen January 2nd

pabrony


A broke(n) artist and writer.

T

After experiencing a traumatic event, Fluttershy has become an emotional wreck (more than usual). Can she put the pieces of her world back together? If so, how will she do it?

This is Fluttershy's recovery arc from the events of Dark Sunset.

Preread by Quillian Inkheart


Spoiler warning: references to events of the Dark Sunset Trilogy, mild blood references, a scene with adult humor.


Cover art source here.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 21 )

Pre-Read: Wow. All the parts in one day? Cool.

Post-Read: :fluttercry: That...that was so cute, but so sad...why you gotta play my emotions like this?

9061615

Post-Read: :fluttercry: That...that was so cute, but so sad...why you gotta play my emotions like this?

Thank you and it's just my style to either get a laugh or hit the feels. :raritywink:

She made her way slowly through the apartment, checking the kitchenette and the bathroom before she noticed the light on in the loft. “Sunset? Sunset it’s time for…" she trailed off as she took in the scene in front of her. "NO! Oh no! Oh my gosh!"

Oh no...not again:fluttershysad:.

While I’m still kind of peeved at Rainbow for that comment she made, I’m glad that she apologized:twilightsmile:.

As for this...

Meanwhile, Rarity simultaneously felt a sense of accomplishment as she had managed to get through to her depressed friend. But her accomplishment was minor compared to how Fluttershy’s home life had become.

I do not like the sound of that:twilightoops:.

“Still… I made that insensitive comment while Fluttershy was crying over losing someone she was in love with,” Rainbow said, which was immediately followed by loud, angry gasp from across the table.

Dammit Dash:flutterrage:!

The minutes felt like hours as Fluttershy wept, hidden and alone. Soon a shadow cast itself over Fluttershy and a hand gently touched her back. She looked to see who it was and found Vinyl Scratch squatting down next to her.

Vinyl to the rescue:rainbowdetermined2:!

“Wow,” Fluttershy gasped when she saw the image that was projected; a pink butterfly and a purple music note surrounded by a red heart.

:rainbowkiss::heart:!

“Sunset, I'm not forcing you from my memories by giving these things to you. It's just my way of…" Fluttershy cut off, unable to continue for a few seconds. She sniffed, wiping her eyes with a hand, before she continued, "...of moving on. We had gone through a lot…” Fluttershy began breaking down as she tried wrapping up her speech. “…I'll never forget you. Okay? We… had some great times. Times that'll stay… times that will last… forever.”

Till the end of time :pinkiesad2:.

9063076 I think FlutterScratch sounds better but that's my opinion.

Okay, firstly, your post on this story imspired me to both read it and put something in place on a group called The Creators of Literary Online Ponies Society, which helps writers who want more constructive reviews on their stories. Hopefully in will help other writers like you who want people to talk about the story rather than like or dislike it.

On to the story itself- I was worried when I first began reading as I thought this might be another tale about ponies living in misery but this wasn’t like that at all, this was Fluttershy finding the power and friendship that helped her overcome grief instead.

To break it down without spoilers, I like that you handled the horror part of the prologue without showing or telling us what had occurred, simply hinting at the fact. It could have been slowed down a little but I’m glad you did not focus on what Fluttershy found in that loft.

From the second chapter on, you got a better pace to the story, everything fell at the right time without feeling forced or scripted. I like that you put suspense into the last sentence from chapter three and have the reader guessing at why that might be the case. I thought Vinyl’s inclusion might be too lat in the tale but once there the companionship built works and feels real. She could have had odd brushing with ‘Shy before that, like meeting Dash or Pinks on the odd occasion as ‘Shy was passing or bumping into her in school.

I won’t spoil the final chapters but it all fits nicely. The character voices are there, you can easily read things in Vinyl, Flutters and Rainbow’s tones. The story starts dark but doesn’t linger, it becomes hopeful and promising. I think the last sentence is powerful but could have just done with something else to keep that tone up, like never forgetting or the love always being there.

Overall, a well written story that didn’t once feel like a chore to read, it was interesting and it had heart. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
All good things,
Dusky

9516806
Thank you kindly for the critique.

While not being as familiar with the EQG side of things, I did enjoy this story a good deal. I can say that your scenes have a very natural flow to them and everything always felt as it was moving forward. Also, while the subject matter is darker, it is not merely sad for the sake of being sad. I am not one to shy away from darker story elements, but I'm not for tragedy used purely for shock value. The arc of the story overall is very uplifting and you certainly lead the reader out of the tunnel you enter with the prologue. I don't see anything egregiously wrong with the story, well done. 👍

Here is the review you requested.

Wow, just wow. This is amazing. Characterization was on point and the entirety of VinylShy was unexpected for me, but executed perfectly. Great work!

A small timer chimed from the desk signaling the end of the session. Fluttershy rose from her position shook the doctor’s hand and left the office. It was the last time she would see him.

It was the last time she would see him.

That isn't ominous at all.

Octavia looked at Fluttershy from the rearview mirror. “Of course it will be fine. It will be nice to have some company for a change.”

Vinyl: Hey! Are you saying my company isn't great?

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