Epilogue
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Vinyl asked as she and Fluttershy pulled up to the Canterlot Cemetery.
“Yes, I am,” Fluttershy responded. “I've been putting this off for too long.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“No thank you. I think I'll be okay,” said Fluttershy before giving Vinyl a kiss and exiting the car.
Fluttershy listened to the gravel shift under her feet as she walked down the narrow path to her friend’s final resting place. The bag she was carrying on her shoulder seemed to be getting heavier with each step she took.
After five minutes of walking, she arrived at a tombstone with a few vines covering it that read:
Sunset Shimmer
Beloved friend. May you finally find peace.
1999-2017
Fluttershy looked at the marker for a few minutes, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes as she sorted her thoughts into words. A few deep breaths and a wipe of her eyes, she began talking. “Hi, Sunset. I'm sorry it's been so long since my last visit. There has been a lot going on in my life for the last five years.
“First, I got married almost four years ago. I hope you're not mad about that. Vinyl Scratch helped me through the rough times after my last visit here. We developed feelings for each other, much like you and I did, during this time and they continued to grow as time went on.
“The next thing is that I'm halfway done with getting my doctorate in veterinary medicine. I'm putting money back in order to open my own vet clinic after I graduate. I plan on naming it the Sunset Shimmer Memorial Veterinary Clinic.”
She paused once more to wipe her eyes and also to remove the bag from her shoulder. She moved closer to the tombstone, knelt in front of it and set the bag on the ground.
“I brought a few things that I'd like for you to have,” she said as she removed a notebook from the bag and set it in a possession box next to the stone. “This is a journal that I started shortly after you, um, did what you did. It’s a collection of notes and letters that I wrote to you whenever I was feeling down or had a thought that I wished that I could tell you. I feel its now complete and it's now yours. Don't worry about anyone reading it. Princess Twilight took it to Equestria for a few days to put a spell on it so no one can read it.”
Then she pulled out a photo that she had gotten hermetically sealed inside a picture frame. “Id like for you to have the last pic I took of us together. Don't worry, I've got a copy of it for myself, too.”
Fluttershy closed the bag and wiped her face again. “This… this I've been debating on whether or not to give to you.” She reached behind her neck and unclipped the necklace that she was wearing. “I'm letting you have my geode. I'm going to miss talking with the animals but I'm the only one that still uses it. Plus, it's from your homeworld. It deserves to be with you.
“Sunset, I'm not forcing you from my memories by giving these things to you. It's just my way of…" Fluttershy cut off, unable to continue for a few seconds. She sniffed, wiping her eyes with a hand, before she continued, "...of moving on. We had gone through a lot…” Fluttershy began breaking down as she tried wrapping up her speech. “…I'll never forget you. Okay? We… had some great times. Times that'll stay… times that will last… forever.”
She stood up and cleared the vines from the tombstone. As she stepped back from it, she felt a hand gently rest upon her back.
“You okay?”
Fluttershy turned and found herself being wrapped in her wife’s arms.
“Yeah. It's just… a little harder saying goodbye than I thought it would be.”
“It always is.”
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Lovely.
Pre-Read: Wow. All the parts in one day? Cool.
Post-Read:
That...that was so cute, but so sad...why you gotta play my emotions like this?
9061561 Thank you.
9061615
Thank you and it's just my style to either get a laugh or hit the feels.
Till the end of time
.
9063076 I think FlutterScratch sounds better but that's my opinion.
Okay, firstly, your post on this story imspired me to both read it and put something in place on a group called The Creators of Literary Online Ponies Society, which helps writers who want more constructive reviews on their stories. Hopefully in will help other writers like you who want people to talk about the story rather than like or dislike it.
On to the story itself- I was worried when I first began reading as I thought this might be another tale about ponies living in misery but this wasn’t like that at all, this was Fluttershy finding the power and friendship that helped her overcome grief instead.
To break it down without spoilers, I like that you handled the horror part of the prologue without showing or telling us what had occurred, simply hinting at the fact. It could have been slowed down a little but I’m glad you did not focus on what Fluttershy found in that loft.
From the second chapter on, you got a better pace to the story, everything fell at the right time without feeling forced or scripted. I like that you put suspense into the last sentence from chapter three and have the reader guessing at why that might be the case. I thought Vinyl’s inclusion might be too lat in the tale but once there the companionship built works and feels real. She could have had odd brushing with ‘Shy before that, like meeting Dash or Pinks on the odd occasion as ‘Shy was passing or bumping into her in school.
I won’t spoil the final chapters but it all fits nicely. The character voices are there, you can easily read things in Vinyl, Flutters and Rainbow’s tones. The story starts dark but doesn’t linger, it becomes hopeful and promising. I think the last sentence is powerful but could have just done with something else to keep that tone up, like never forgetting or the love always being there.
Overall, a well written story that didn’t once feel like a chore to read, it was interesting and it had heart. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
All good things,
Dusky
9516806
Thank you kindly for the critique.
While not being as familiar with the EQG side of things, I did enjoy this story a good deal. I can say that your scenes have a very natural flow to them and everything always felt as it was moving forward. Also, while the subject matter is darker, it is not merely sad for the sake of being sad. I am not one to shy away from darker story elements, but I'm not for tragedy used purely for shock value. The arc of the story overall is very uplifting and you certainly lead the reader out of the tunnel you enter with the prologue. I don't see anything egregiously wrong with the story, well done. 👍
9521398
Thanks you.
Here is the review you requested.
Wow, just wow. This is amazing. Characterization was on point and the entirety of VinylShy was unexpected for me, but executed perfectly. Great work!
9738486
Thanks.
It looks like you're not here much any more, but if you do return then have your review notification. In brief: I quite liked the awkward relationships Fluttershy has with Rainbow & co, and her actions at the end are very noble. On the downside, the relationship's growth didn't seem that organic. Note that I read this as a standalone fic; I haven't read Dark Sunset.