• Member Since 10th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 20 minutes ago

Flint-Lock


Found his soul at Marvin Gate

T
Source

Twilight Sparkle is exhausted.

All day, she's been working her hooves down to the bone, tackling a never-ending stream of paperwork. She just wants to go back to her guest room, take a shower, and relax for the next couple of years.

After looking around, she opens the door to what she thinks is her bedroom, only to find Princess Celestia and Queen Novo....making out.

Things only go downhill from there.



Special thanks to Georg and BronyWriter for proofreading and editing.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 35 )

This was really good I liked it man.

Jaro45 #2 · May 15th · · ·

Pretty good story. Fun and funny, a good combo.

But. Your quotation marks are all over the place. For example:

Good. Now, Twilight, the Pearl of Transformation is far more powerful than is generally known. If it’s full power were unlocked, it could do a whole lot more than change you into a seapony. It could turn off gravity, turn an army into mist, even snuff out the sun if you wanted to! Somehow, that... stallion found out about this...”

The end quotes are fine, but there are no beginning quotes. It took me half the paragraph to figure out it was dialog.

A fast pass for editing should clean all that up easily though.

Haven't read, but sounds hilarious.

This was nice. Funny. Steamy. Sad.

Wonderful.

Well, that was fun. Clean up those quotation marks and few typos, and you have yourself a winner.

That explaination makes sense, but what about the Griffons?
HippoGryphs are supposed to be the result of breeding between Ponies and Griffons.
Of course, considering how Griffons were, the likelyhood of such a union (If Gabby is a unique case of Griffonic temperment) would be nonexistant...
But still, would the birth of a hippogryph outside Mt. Aris cause some sort of weakening of the spell, or would such a creature die or be stillborn outside of some sort of magical or geological effect that Mt. Aris possess?

I'm just making these up off the top of my head, but if you or somepony else could answer these questions, that'd be swell.

...
...
.........
Hey Twilight, do you have a spare gum like yours I could borrow?

Pearl of Transformation...more like Philosopher's stone.

Sigh suddenly I feel like Novo and Sunass had a long talk about how to treat your subordinates.

They ACTUALLY told Twilight Sparkle of all ponies everything about this and let her get away with potentially spreading gossip with her friends?

Nice story. But fix your typos for Novo.

Ever since they arrived some two weeks ago,Celestia and Novon had been spending a lot of time together.

EDIT: Wait a minute, Novo is only 200 years old. Isn't Celly already an adult by then? Is over 50 considered an adult hippogriff? Did she just pull of a Hikaru Genji (The act of raising ones spouse)? :trollestia: :twilightoops:

So the Pearl is the Reality Stone?

Gamma: This Is The Wrong Room.

So can we do a clop on these two?

8929516

Will someone fetch the Avengers, please?

8928815

It might just be...

C’mon Sparkle, you know this it’s... it’s... there, right at the end of the hall. She was 89.74 percent certain of that.

Good enough for government work.

And as anyone who's played any video game involving an element of chance could tell Twilight, 89.74% is not 100%. Granted, missing in VATS is hardly as funny as what happened to Twilight as a result of catching that 10.26% chance of being wrong, but still

This was really cute! I love the descriptions that you give and the style of the narration. A few spacing issues and misspells aside, it's one of the better fics I've read on this site. Have a follow, man!

Just got finished reading this and boy it was really entertaining to read i really enjoyed it. P.S. keep up the good work! :D

8929757
As a fellow gamer I can attest to the fact that 10% happens much more often than it should...

Not a bad story, but you need a proofreader to go through it. Lots of grammatical errors all over the place.

When I turned fifty, my father, Faust bless his soul, passed away.

I'll never understand why some fanfic writers to slip in the show creator's name like this, I understand the joke, they made the world you're writing about so therefore they are a "god". But I read this one RWBY story, it wasn't terrible but it was just constantly Oum this and Oum that, and "By the power of Oum" like every third sentence, and even if the trope isn't so prevalent in the story (such as this one) it's basically like kicking you in the chest, screaming "THIS IS FANFICTION!" and sending you screaming into a bottomless pit of broken immersion.

As for the rest of the story however.
i1.wp.com/greetyhunt.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Obama-Meme-Not-Bad-09.jpg?fit=400%2C400

I've reviewed this story HERE!

8931947
I've seen fics that have Monty as a wandering scribe or something. Heck, there was even a Samurai Jack comic that I believe had a Mako tribute as a wandering scribe

8931947
I personally have the Fausticorn be Luna and Celestia's mom

8929235

8929724
I'm surprised it hasn't yet. If I can get a pretty well recieved story about Celestia masturbating with a phallic cake....

the entire kingdom was like a like one of those insanely-intricate models made by obsessive-compulsive hobbyists.

Lovely little story, and some interesting lore.

That's a really nice little piece of fluff :3 Thanks for writing it :D

Good enough for government work.

Like... Executions?

What…The universe turned upside down. Black was white, Down was up. Right was left.

:ajbemused: Just let the master handle it.

8928786
I suspect 50 is an adult for a Hippogriffs. For that not to be true, Hippogriffs would have to be pony elves.

And even among Elves, 50 is comparable to late adolescent at the most extreme, so its unlikely that Nova is considered "A child."

8976656
Well the whole thing would have been chalked off as childhood crush...if it wasn't for the fact that Celestia is already at least 800 when she first met 10 year old Novo.
Imagine being already an adult and you have your friend grow up to be your bride right in front of you.

This was simply adorable. Now I want some more stories of Sunny Buns and Cuddlebird.

Not a bad headcanon story.

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