A changeling pulls a prank on Pinkie Pie by turning into Surprise. Pinkie Pie takes the changeling with her to hang out and have some fun. After learning about fun and friendship with Pinkie Pie, Pinkie caught her in her changeling form. Their friendship parted ways.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Very good! Though I reckon Pinkie would have stayed friends with the changeling, 'cos Pinkie's like that. Oh well, all's fair in love and cupcakes.
It could use a little work, but I enjoyed it.
A good idea, but definitely needs some work. Seperating the speech of different characters would be a good idea, make it less confusing to read. And more emotions/description would also be good. But other than that, this was good.
That's...a pretty horrible "prank".
Nice idea, but the storytelling needs some fine-tuning, like less use "Pinkie Pie X, so I did Y". Also the note about how the story is rated "for everyone" totally broke the flow of the story, in bold, too boot.
The only thing that bugged me storywise:
How does a changeling know about a dead cousin of Pinkie Pie? And how does he know enough to transform into her? Was Surprise a famous pony? You might want to explain that to the reader or tone the "dead cousin"-thing down.
Maybe Surprise is a renowned party-planer and Pinkie Pie's idol? Like Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts?
Oh poor Pinkie Pie she thought she'd met her long lost cousin only to find out it was a changeling, bummer!
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Made this out of boredom, I know it needs work xDD
needs a seqaul