Epilogue
“I still can’t believe this,” the filly with the dark brown coat mumbled. Her auburn mane was done in a little braid that complimented her rather well. What would make her drop-dead gorgeous once she grew into a mare were the lighter tones her coat transitioned into towards her hooves and muzzle. Socks were a new trend among mares that made stallions drop out their sheathes left and right. Her sky-blue eyes would be the icing on the cake.
“You have to look on the bright side,” Cadance chirped. “You’ve gotten a second chance, and with my parenting skills, we’ll make sure that you don’t turn into a violent, cursing mare this time. Plus, you’re getting a sister as well. Flurry will be happy to have you, as will Shining.”
Temptress—no, Sweet Cheeks as her new ‘mother’ had named her—stuck her tongue out. “I didn’t ask for this. When you said rehabilitation, I thought you meant going to a school for a few hours a day. Not all four princesses zapping me back to nearly wearing diapers. Oh, and did I mention the whole turning-into-a-pony part?”
“What’s wrong with being a pony? You get magic, the ability to gain a cutie mark, and you can find a very special somepony of your own!” Cadance nearly jumped next to her in glee.
“Then why didn’t you do this to Anon?”
The Princess of Love paused. “Err…” She hummed, looked at the ground, then to the sky. The tip of her right wing then stroked her chin for a moment. “Maybe next time?” she managed with a hesitant smile.
Sweet Cheeks sighed as they continued on their way. Their destination was already in sight: a large three storey building that looked like Hansel and Gretel couldn’t be far away. What the pink pony had left after her sudden appearance the other day had been an invitation to a party. All four princesses had agreed that it was a good first step for rehabilitation to join the festivities.
“Won’t they expect a human?”
Cadance answered with a smile as she opened the door for her to enter. Nervously, the filly strode forward into the dark bakery. “Surprise!” Nearly twenty voices yelled as one as a switch was flipped, engulfing the room in light. Cheeks jumped, not from the surprise, but because of the volume of voices. Her sensitive new pony ears pinned themselves to her skull as her eardrums begged for mercy.
Her eyes did the opposite and stared upwards, from the ponies, to the massive cake in the middle of the room and then to the banner under the ceiling. ‘Welcome to Equestria, Lena Temptress Sweet Cheeks.’ There was a second, smaller one added to that with duct tape. ‘Happy First Day of Rehabilitation.’
“Great,” she mumbled under her breath.
In the next moment, the pink pony was in her face again. “And? Were you surprised?”
* * *
Half an hour later, Sweet Cheeks managed to get away from the ponies. There had been so many of them in all colours of the rainbow. They had a host of eclectic names to match, most of which she had forgotten already. At least now she was free. She opened the back door of the establishment and walked out in the rather cool spring night. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky and the stars lit up the surrounding area.
“They can be annoying, can’t they?” Cheek’s head whirled around to the familiar voice. There, leaning next to the door and sipping from a wooden mug, was Anon. His fedora was missing, but the evidence of their last meeting was still visible in his face. His nose seemed crooked and his right eye was swollen and bruised black and blue.
“You!” she shrieked and pointed a hoof at him. “Didn’t I say I never wanted to see you again?”
“Hey, I’m not the one that dragged you into this,” he shot back.
“No, you’re just the reason the ponies summoned me in the first place!” She could shout and one of the ponies inside would come for sure. They would capture him again, and he would endure the same punishment. However, when she had said to the princesses that she had tried to be a good person, she hadn’t lied. While she despised her fellow human, she didn’t think he could handle another beating and worse from the ponies. With that in mind, she only hissed, “All because you had to be such a jerk.”
This time, Anon rolled his eyes. “You’ve met the same ponies I did, right? If you’re not a goody-good mister nice guy, you’re automatically a jerk. Well, at least for the princesses. Most ponies are rather cool with swearing, but with them, it’s like their mother told them that only bad ponies swear and they still believe that. Look at it this way—you beat up a villain for them, and they turned you into a foal as a reward.”
For an entire minute, they simply regarded each other. Cheeks used the silence to mull over his words. Despite herself, she had to admit that Anon had a point. “And, what will you do now?”
Anonymous emptied his mug in one go and released a belch. “You really want to know?” She nodded. “Take your tips to heart, actually. Get in shape and so on. To that end, I think I’ll travel for a while. You know, see other places and people. I hear the hippogriffs have a nice gig going on.” He paused. “And a pearl that can turn you into anything you want.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Really?”
“Really.”
She looked back at the entrance of the bakery. She could go back; live a life as a pony princess. Cadance seemed rather nice, and she had always wanted a little sister to get into mischief together. She could grow up again, find a nice stallion to settle down with, and have a bunch of cute foals herself.
But that wasn’t the human way.
“Are you looking for a traveling companion?”
As the two figures walked away into the dark of the night, nobody looked up to the moon. If anyone had bothered, they would have seen the massive writing on the surface that read: ‘Twilight, get me down egghead!’
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doesnt a eliloge mean that the stories over?
Well, I didn't see this coming. 0_0;
But it is good to see that Anon will take the advice to heart - the wonders of tough love!
And for all those people out there that sympathize with Anon, let me ask you...
Do you really think it was good the way he talked to the lady when she entered through the door in the last chapter? The guy behaved like a creep!
But I digress.
While the story was fun, I feel that this epilogue was too rushed in pacing. But that's just me.
Good work, overall!
To the favorites folder with you!
8962594
Well, that the current story is over. As long as the main character is alive, or the world is a chaotic place, there is always another story somewhere in it.
This ending...just, what?
"Hey, you beat me into a pulp with no provocation and the flimsiest pretense of a justification, want to travel and be totally reliant on each other while you nurse a grudge against me for your current hardships and completely arbitrary loss of your humanity? 'Cause there's this magical MacGuffin that could make you a human again. Maybe."
Nothing got resolved, and it makes less sense than before. I don't want to be overly negative, but at this point the first story would have been better off not having this sequel, I can't see that it added anything to the setting. I don't know what happened while writing it, but the characters' behavior is very confusing and inconsistent.
8962706
well considering that he was right in the end about the ponies.
not really flimsy justification because she did get betrayed by the ponies who never really gave him a chance.
also despite how cruel he was his crimes were pretty mild even by equestria's standard and he did seem to wan to help her
8962695
nah still sympathetic.
at least compared to the backstabbing ponies
While I found previous chapters to be a bit...harsh in how they handled Anon, i cant say i dislike this ending. Two humans, one matured and learned his lesson, and the other in a body not her own, travelling together. Honestly, this could make an interesting fic for the future, though i would personally tone down the anon abuse with something like that.
All in all, ive enjoyed what ive read. Good job, mate.
8962763
I think you misunderstood my post. That was from the male human, not the female.
8962769
I agree with you in that sense.
At least Anon got his act together, and will try to change himself up to be a better man.
That alone is worth it.
I feel with the beginning everything could have been avoided, but with that end, will you be continuing this?
I want a continuation of this with anon overcoming his insufficiencies every now and again while temptress goading him for being a massively useless waste of space.
Man, a lot of your reader are getting rather butt-hurt over how you treated Anon. Do they not realize it was a gag?
Personally, I loved it. While I'd be content with this ending, I liked how you left it with room for more adventures and I'd be down to read it if you were ever motivated to write it.
With this ending, it shows real promise! I can already imagine the hi-jinx, laughs, and Anon's petty revenge for what they did to 'Sweet Cheeks'.
heres hoping for a million word longfic extravaganza of the adventures of anon and temptress showing the ponies the price of messing with humans and the magic of shitposting.
Any continuation to this?
Twilight sent Rainbow Dash to the moon.
Well, when the next big evil threatens Equestria they're going to lose I guess.
8962906
and the magic of exercise
8963266
78.media.tumblr.com/a0c50581b9062a325c741f64b37362e7/tumblr_n1gmorOwP71rsecjio3_1280.png
8962906
This
8962778
oh then that maakes my first response meaningless.
Interesting ending, specially how it's a big "fuck you and your morals" to the pony princesses. Humans gonna human, after all
Well that was good for a few keks.
8950783
Are you currently experiencing blind rage?
Your answer was pretty edgy tbh.
This was fucking brilliant!
That's what socks are for, right?
And what happend to Rainbow?
After last chapter she may be in a bit trouble, right?
8969707
That turned our interesting after the last chapter. Anon having some kind of laid-back 'I told you so!/I was right!' moment gave some satisfaction but still I don't think he would just stop being a jerk all of a sudden. First off, he was right after all. The Princesses declare you a villain for the smallest of things. Secondly, getting beaten up and then actually listening and pulling through with the suggestion of your abuser is really unlikely in itself. If someone beats you up it is more likely that you will hold a grudge or resentment towards the person.
So, an interesting chapter but I still rather stay with the original story. I personally liked the feel of it more. Just some dude swearing around and being a comical villain, getting drunk and being a bit depressed because of his loneliness. Anon was rather likable in this since it didn't depict him as a horny dude, but as a guy that might just need a friend. At least that is my view on this.
8962887
Not everyone has to like the last chapter. I was one of the people who wasn't enjoying it since I didn't see it as a gag. Or not a good gag. Beating someone up is some serious subject matter and like someone already pointed out if the genders were reversed with Anon a female and Temptress a male it would cause quite a steer. I also don't think that it really had any use or function. It only seemed like Temptress wanted to vent her anger at her situation and not that she really wanted to help anyone. Beating someone up doesn't compel one to behave additionally. It is more likely that such a punishment breeds hatred and more violence.
So, I mainly think it wasn't a good move to reach a goal, to reach a reformation. I like the overall idea though. The whole thing about the Princesses declaring one a villain at the slightest provocation sounds like a good subject to write a story about. It is interesting to see Anon justified in his actions. He misbehaved and they branded him a villain, so he just continued to annoy them as he started to hold a grudge. A grudge that was broken down over time because of his loneliness. It is a rather unjust world and seeing Temptress maybe being deceived into thinking she was on the just side, or simply misunderstanding the situation would have helped the story as well. I mean Temptress could have seen this ending coming as it is now with how she was almost branded a villain for the 'fucktard' remark. At least that are my thoughts on this.
Next story when??
8974261
I don't have plans to continue this anytime soon. I have other projects to finish.
8974915
Soon or at all?? I really liked how this story went, it honestly threw me for a loop a few times by not following the generic pattern.
8974250
Sounds like it's more of an issue with you. Pain is the cornerstone of comedy. If even a gag fan-fiction story upsets you then you must be overly sensitive. I'd suggest working on that or life will suck for you.
8974915
Like what?
8975804
Look at my library. Every story that isn't finished is something that I need to work on.
Sounds kinda like normal life. Get into a fight, and then get along afterwards, sometimes even learning something about yourself in the process. Or in their case, a beat-down.
8975881
Still most readers have a point in saying that we're not left with much of an ending.
8975941
I take "disappointed Mass Effect Fans" for 1000.
Joke aside, I think it's pretty clear what is happening: With a magical pearl that can change you in anything you want, Anon will become a hunk of a man and Lena will be human again. For like maybe 5 minutes then they will abuse the shit out of it. I already have a big HiE that I'm working on and continuing this I don't have the time for. This was never meant to be a big adventure story in the first place.
8975983
Don't forget that Lena will chew out the ponies. I think that's what most want anyway.
Well, I did NOT see that coming. Very funny.
I DEMAND A SEQUEL!!
8978527
Is there a sequel?-?
8975983
>-> yooooooooooooooooooooooooooo............lo make sure to add a whole bunch of dank memes (i understand if you do not) and funny crippling depression moments (specifically about someone spending hours of their day standing in their favorite corner contemplating about life >->, or maybe not, you do you, and whatever that love baby is, im sure it'll be great, or really depressing, idk) *i like semi-dark humor, so dont judge me >->*
All in favor of a sequel, like this comment. All opposed, dislike this comment.
Were it so easy
9029315
Beggar
9029315
I love democracy.
8975390
Self-rightous, arrogant know-it-all.
I didn't agree with him on the last chapter either, not because I thought that the beatdown was funny, but because I saw it as justified, but you are just being a jerk.
Anon is/was a self-absorbed, undignified neckbeard who couldn't have a good life even if he realized that he needed to really try, so the only way of satisfying his wish, was to give him a heaven to work towards and a hell to fear. Not perfect but the best I think you could do in a situation like this.
But to my actual point, you are being a dick to someone who has a valid, subjektive issue.
Very good story.
Also, I know of only 1 pony that that last line might be said by.... Did you have to have Best Pony banished to the moon? It's bad enough Moonie had to deal with that, but she's basically a goddess. Best Pony is only a simple Pegasus who happens to be the fastest. How is anypony supposed to know of awemsomestness? Though as soon as Best Pony appeared the story became like already 20% kewler.
Ok my brain is starting to hurt from all the references I packed in there lol. Seriously though great story. Needs more Rainbow though.