They were in the basement again, only this time, instead of the large round table in the middle of the room, there was a complex summoning circle drawn with chalk. “Well, that should be it,” Twilight announced, the large bags under her eyes indicative of the sleepless night spent finishing the circle.
Celestia, holding the scroll with the draft in her magic, compared the result with the original. “Yes, that should be it.”
“I’m having some second thoughts about this,” Cadance said, nervously pacing on the spot. “I mean, we didn’t even ask Anon what he wants in a mate.”
“Bah.” Luna waved off her concern. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”
“Actually, we could add a set of variables to the spell so that the summoned human matches chosen characteristics from Anonymous. The multiverse is vast, and as the rules dictate, if you can imagine it, it exits,” Celestia mused, but then her gaze fell on Twilight. “However, since Twilight seems to be tired…” The scroll combusted into ash. “Oh well, never mind then.” The youngest alicorn sighed in relief.
They all went to the spot Twilight had marked for each of them on the floor. Twilight yawned before she spoke. “Okay, I will handle the spellwork. All I need you to do is power the spell matrix, though that’s easier said than done. You need to keep it at a constant level or else the matrix could burn like Sweetie Belle's orange juice. Don’t ask; it’s a Ponyville thing.”
“We may be not as versed as you, my dear student, but we’ve cast our fair share of spells in our time. Don’t worry,” Celestia assured her.
Twilight nodded. “Right, here goes nothing.” Her horn lit up, as did the others in the room. Magic flowed from each of them into the circle on the floor, making it light up in a kaleidoscope of colours. Swirling, the circle rose from the ground, rapidly accelerating every second until it was just a blur. Just as it was about to rise above the tip of Celestia’s horn, it changed direction and spun the other way around. Without further theatrics or warning, a human dropped from the circle just before it exploded. The ponies closed their eyes as magic rained down upon them in the form of chromatic sparks.
“Everypony okay?”
“Yes, I just got something in my eye,” Twilight heard Cadance answer.
“Maybe we shouldn’t have done the spell in the basement. Sitting in the dark all day and then this sudden bright light is inviting trouble.”
“And what is wrong with sitting in the dark all day?” Luna inquired pointedly to her sister.
“Oh no, we’re not going over that discussion again, Luna.”
“Did anypony see if it worked?” That was Cadance’s voice again, and Twilight blinked a few more times to clear her vision. Slowly, the candle-lit room came back into focus. “Oh, never mind.”
Twilight followed Cadance’s gaze into the middle of the circle. There, now rising to their feet, was a human who was clearly a female. Her frame was demure, nearly anorexic compared to the one they were acquainted with. In stark contrast to her frame were her wide hips and ample breasts that seemed to defy gravity as she finally reached her full height. Bright blue eyes, framed by crimson bangs, blinked as she took in her surroundings. Her mouth opened, her cute little nose twitched, and then she let out a sneeze. With a hand still in front of her face, she glanced down to her feet.
“Was zum Teufel? Wo sind meine Klamotten?” (What the hell? Where are my clothes?) she said in an unknown language.
“Don’t be alarmed,” Celestia said, stepping closer. “We mean you no harm.” The eyes of the human shot towards the alabaster princess, expanded to nearly double their size, before rolling back in her head. Twilight, having borne witness to a similar reaction from Rarity in the past, was keen enough to catch her as she tumbled to the ground. “Oh. It’s seems I had quite the effect on her.”
“In her defence,” Cadance stared down at the female human now levitating in Twilight’s magic, “she’s probably never seen an alicorn.”
“Her udders are even bigger than Anon’s,” Twilight noted, her eyes scanning the human’s form.
“Well, maybe she is pregnant?” Luna guessed. “Perhaps humans reproduce differently than us, and they fulfil an entirely different task.” The Princess of the Night tapped against one of the mounds of flesh with a hoof. “Well, they seem to be more firm than that of the male.”
“Let me see.” Twilight raised a hoof to poke the other one, only for Celestia to beat her to it.
“Oh my, yes. Quite firm indeed. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t possess the same amount of excessive fat Anon does. Could be a variant of humans that lives in warmer region and doesn’t need it for extra protection against the cold.”
“Other than her rather slim frame, she seems to be in good health,” Twilight observed. “Her skin is firm and her flanks are wide and inviting, good for giving birth. She also seems to groom herself well, if the shaved hair at her nether regions is any indication.”
“So we have a slim, but otherwise healthy human female that’s searching for a mate like Anon?” Cadance asked.
“Well yes,” Twilight answered and finally set her down on the ground, which in turn forced Luna to stop poking her udder. “She should be a female human without a mate.”
“Wait!” Cadance suddenly exclaimed. “You did include Anonymous’ characteristics in the spell, right?”
Twilight yawned again. “No? Princess Celestia said I didn’t need to.”
“No, I mean Anon’s appearance! That she has to be looking for a mate like Anon.”
Twilight blinked. “I should’ve done that?” The older alicorns shared a look.
Celestia then stepped next to Twilight and placed a wing over her back. “Why don’t you lie down, Twilight? You seem tired. We can handle it from here.” Nodding, the purple pony left the room, nearly falling asleep on the stairs.
The other waited a moment longer to make sure she was out of hearing range. “What should we do!?” Cadance yelled, spinning in circles. “We are so boned! We just foalnapped another human from her home, and we don’t even have the mate of her dreams to appease her! What if she turns evil too?”
“Calm down, Cadance,” Celestia attempted to place a wing on her back, but it was a fruitless endeavour given the speed Cadance was whirling around. “Maybe Anonymous isn’t the mate of her dream, but she could like him. Who knows?” Celestia’s head snapped around. “Stop it, Luna!”
The dark alicorn’s head shot up, her hoof still on the human’s breast. “But they’re so… comforting. I feel like I’m back with our mother, lying in the lush hills of Dream Valley while she groomed my coat with her tongue.”
“Dream Valley? Wasn’t that like the first pony city to ever exist more than ten thousand years ago?” Cadance asked, astonished about the revelation of how old her aunts really were. “Ruled by Queen Majesty, the mare who created the Elements of Harmony?”
“Well, she planted the seed, something called the Rainbow of Light to—Luna, stop it already! Stop molesting the damn human!” This time, not only Luna’s head rose, but that of the human as well.
The alicorns froze as she rubbed her head and looked around. “Was zum Geier geht hier vor?” (What is going on here?) she mumbled. “Und warum riecht es hier so nach Pferd?” (And why does it smell like horses?) She finally noticed Luna, who literally stood right next to where she was sitting. “Oh, darum.” (Oh, that's why)
“This isn’t what it look like?” Luna tried with a sheepish grin and took a step back.
As the human registered the sounds that had come from Luna’s mouth, her eyes widened. “Okay, das klang total als hätte das Pferd gerade versucht mit mir zu sprechen.” (Okay, that just sounded like the horse tried to speak with me.)
“Hello, young one,” Celestia tried again, stepping in her field of vision. Her sudden appearance made the young human jump before she looked up in awe at the large white mare that seemed to tower above her. “Maybe we can try to have a talk this time.”
Tears started to quell in the eyes of the human female, and Celestia feared for a moment that she had said something wrong. “Ich habe Gott gefunden und sie ist eine Stute.” (I found god and she is a mare.) The human quickly brought her long legs under her and pressed her forehead to the ground. “Ich bin nichts weiter als dein Diener du mächtigste aller Kreaturen.” (I'm your humble servant, oh mightiest of all beings.) She then started to mumble even more words in another language, one Celestia was quite fluent in.
“Placere respice in me, puella.” (Please look at me) Celestia interrupted her chants. “Ego sum in sol, princeps hujus mundi.” (I am Celestia, ruler of these lands.) The human started to quiver. Had she pronounced something wrong? “Quaeso, me auxilium tibi.” (Please let me help you.)
This time, she looked up, her eyes filled with tears, nose running. Then Celestia casted her spell, one she had often used in the past. Every time she had went to another world with Star Swirl, to be exact. Invading the mind of another was wrong, so she instead gave the human her own knowledge about the common tongue of Terra. There was a flash of light, and then it was all done.
“Hello, my child, do you understand me now?”
“Yes, I hear you. Your humble servant is at your service.” Well, that wasn’t the answer she expected.
“Rise, stand up. You must be cold on the floor.” The human did as she was told, her head now up to Celestia’s chest. “See, better. Can you tell me your name?”
She paused for a moment before a red hue suffused her face. “My name is Temptress.” Celestia blinked. That was a rather unusual name to give a child.
“She is perfect, right what we need!” Cadance exclaimed, making herself known from behind Celestia. Instantly, the human was on her knees again, face planted against the floor. “Oops, sorry.”
“Cadance, you’re right,” Luna agreed. Temptress flinched on the floor. “If her name speaks true, she is what we need.”
“However I can be of service to the gods,” the human spoke.
Luna pointed a hoof at her. “See. She’s willing to help.”
“Well, first we’re getting her something warm to wear. She seems cold. Maybe even a meal and something to drink. Then we will show her why we called her here.”
Huh. Not bad.
Well this I surely was not expecting.
.... I can’t remember my boarding school Latin, so I am going to assume that your grammar is correct.
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It's not mine, it's googles.
Oooooh, this won't end well for anyone.
Chapter update is good chapter update. Thanks for putting more work into this story! Definitely enjoying the read!
I foresee this ending poorly.
Oh, there IS an unspeakable horror involved. It's name is anonymous, and it's moobs are prodigious indeed
A German porn star?
They summoned a slave! 'facepalm'
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On the contrary, I see this ending very well!
They send Temptress to Anon, and observe from a distance. Things seem normal, until Temptress kicks Anon in the nuts and storms off.
The response is that Celestia and Luna will be like, "Huh... I like her already!"
Cadence, however, would be pissed, and have to go back to Square 1, though this time, while also having to protect Anon from a pissed off German Woman who is no longer bound by the same laws from Earth to prevent her from ending Anon's life... especially when 2 of the 4 goddesses are okay with Anon's "Totally-Unintended" Demise. >:)
oh she religious this will end well
Or it turns out Anon ISN’T interested in her (“Who the hell said I was into gingers?!”) and instead gets a new drinking buddy (being German she’d probably drink him under the table lol).
... I see frying pans being used with excessive force against the cranial structures of alicorns.
I couldn’t really understand the Latin. Perhaps I could help with the translating?
Neat.
What's gonna happen next? I foresee flying fists.
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I mean, that's almost as good, right?
"What the hell? Where are my clothes?"
"What the hell is going on?"
"And why does it smell like horses?"
"Oh, that's why."
"Okay, that totally sounded like that horse is trying to talk to me."
"I have found God, and she is a horsewoman."
"I am nothing more powerful than your servants, you all creatures" (Can't really work out how this translates. Seems kinda broken or idiomatic, so I threw it at Google translate.)
Celestia's Latin seems a touch off, but I'm really rusty on that. It seems like she's saying she's inside the sun, rather than that she is the sun. TL;DR, she told the girl to not avert her eyes, identified herself, and said she wants to help, which was entirely pointless as she was talking to the one creature who is damn near certain to not know Latin.
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"Ich bin nichts weiter als dein Diener du mächtigste aller Kreaturen."
"I'm nothing more than your servant, you mightiest of all creatures."
The Latin being wonky kinda fits the story. It has been a long time since Celestia used it. But basically she is saying that Temptress should trust her and that she is the incarnation of the sun, princess of this realm .
Interested to see where this goes.
-Ru
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Hmm 'nightmare essence'? Is this something from the comics perhaps?
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I see I'm not the only one who thought of that
The next chapter should unfold more or less like this:
Anon: "NO fu$%^ng way! I'm not touching her"
Cadance: "Do you know how much effort it took to get her here?"
Anon: "Look - porn star is fine but... GERMAN?! Even I have SOME standards!"
Cadance: "It's either her or an ax!"
Anon: "*sigh* fine... Can I pick my last meal now?"
Luna:
Heh, this could be rather entertaining.
You know, when I got to this part
my first thought was "oh god they summoned sunset in her human form".
: "It wasn't that bad!"
Ignore her; please continue.
That's as evil as it's brilliant!
I would went with burned juice.
Top kek
I take from this that if I ever have a daughter, I should not name her Lena.
That means you're still sane... let go Cadance, embrace the madness
That's fair
That you did
Oh dear