It Turns Out They're Windmills

by J Carp

Drink!

Starlight was endearingly pleased with herself as she received the line of ridiculous drinks from the bartender, hovering them over to the table where her friends all waited. She turned and trotted over, beaming. "Thanks so much for coming out, girls," she sang. "I'd been wanting to do an after-work happy hour for a while, but things kept coming up!"

Moon Dancer wondered if she should feel anxious about the new social situation, but it was difficult to be intimidated by ponies like Trixie, who was still chucking to herself about a joke she had apparently told several hours ago, and Maud Pie, who stared placidly at nothing. "I've never done one of these before," she said.

Starlight grinned. "It's great! It's too bad Twilight's out of town, but it's nice to hang out without the boss around, huh?"

Moon Dancer looked down at her cocktail, which was bright pink and had some name like Strawberry Dangermouse. "I guess." She took a sip. It was the most alcoholic thing she had ever tasted in her life. She began to worry this was a bad time to have her first after-work happy hour.

Starlight leaned in, concerned and manic. "Hey! You okay there?"

"Yeah," Moon Dancer said, nodding as casually as she could. "I'm distracted because... um, I was going to get Fluttershy's birthday present today, but... I was too busy."

"Left it to the last minute, huh?" Starlight laughed oddly, for no apparent reason. "Don't worry, I know you'll figure something out."

Moon Dancer just looked back at her.

Trixie smirked, elbowing her best friend gently. "Starlight is being weird because she's nervous about being your friend."

Starlight's eyes bulged and she sputtered. "I am not!"

"Yes, she is," Maud said, a very tiny wisp of a smile on her face as she gazed drolly at Moon Dancer.

Starlight took a large swig of her cocktail, seeming to calm herself slightly. "You girls. I see Moon Dancer all the time. We're already friends."

Trixie's grin took on a glowingly mischievous air. "Yes, but you don't hang out without Twilight. She's not part of your little Starlight Club you got going on, here."

Moon Dancer raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Starlight Club?"

"That's not a thing!" Starlight yelped, turning red. "I just..." She sighed, rubbing her eye with a hoof. "Look, I love the whole Cutie Map gang, but my friendships with them are kind of unique. It's just cool to have friends outside of that, that's all." She swigged her cocktail. "It's not a Starlight Club. And now I need another drink already! Thanks a lot, Trixie." She whirled around and marched back over to the bar.

Trixie simpered and leaned over to Moon Dancer. "As president of the Starlight Club, let me officially welcome you into Starlight Club. We think she's trying to recruit her own alternate version of the Elements of Harmony. When she's done, we get our own castle!"

The idea was ludicrous, and Moon Dancer chortled. "So... let me guess, you're her Pinkie and her Rarity?"

They nodded, Maud's face so serious, Moon Dancer's chortle turned into an outright laugh. Starlight returned from the bar, levitating a drink that was exactly the same color she was. "Uh, what's so funny?"

"We're talking about which of the Elements of Harmony we're the opposites of," Moon Dancer replied, feeling an odd burst of social energy. "Well, not opposite, exactly. Like, they're matter and we're antimatter."

"I'm antimatter Pinkie," Maud explained. "She's anti-Rarity."

"Um... okay," Starlight said blankly. "...Why?"

"See, I thought you were Twilight," Trixie said, ignoring her best friend's question. "But Moon Dancer is clearly Twilight. You're... Rarity."

Something felt sour about that to Moon Dancer. She ignored the feeling and took another swig from her cocktail.

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were Rarity. Who are you, then?"

"Trixie."

Starlight's eyeroll was magnificent. "I'd be mad at you for making us all look bad in front of Moon Dancer, but this is a pretty fair representation of how things usually are when we hang out." Trixie laughed, and Starlight joined in. They put their hooves around each other's shoulders, laughing together.

"Twilight made a pass at Fluttershy," Moon Dancer said.

Starlight and Trixie stopped laughing; indeed, they stopped moving at all. Moon Dancer looked down at her drink in bewilderment, her mouth hanging open. "I didn't mean to say that," she said. She nudged the drink with her hoof. "Did you make me say that?"

Maud looked straight at her. "Are you all right?" she asked with dull compassion. Moon Dancer simply threw her hooves across her face in embarrassment.

Trixie was less calm. "When did this happen? Is this why she left town?"

Starlight, by contrast, looked like she was the one who had been betrayed. "Twilight..." she murmured. "I can't believe she would..."

"Agh!" Moon Dancer waved her hooves around. "No! I didn't mean to... look, Twilight is..." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to recenter. "I'm sorry, I really didn't intend to say something bad about Twilight behind her back."

Maud leaned closer very slightly. "Are you all right?"

Moon Dancer regarded her for a moment, then felt herself somehow relaxing under her lackadaisical stare. "I'm fine. Fluttershy is fine. We don't know what Twilight could have been thinking, but we trust her. Really. We trust that there's an explanation for what happened, and we'll work it out when she gets back."

Starlight seemed relieved. "You're not mad at her?"

"Oh, I'm barbarically infuriated with her," Moon Dancer replied. "You have no idea." She sighed. "I couldn't really talk about that part with Fluttershy. All of that group, they just... it feels wrong to infringe on their relationships with each other, I dunno. I guess you girls are the only ponies in town I felt like I could bring this up to. I'm sorry I ruined the happy hour."

She jumped, because suddenly, eight shot glasses clanked down onto the table, Trixie's magic dissipating in the air above them. "You didn't ruin anything," Trixie said. "I think this just turned into the happiest hour ever. Drink."

Starlight took a step back, frowning. "Wait, are we just going to bash Twilight? I don't want to..."

"Rule one of Starlight Club Happy Hour: No bashing Twilight!" Trixie announced. "This is about supporting our friend Moon Dancer. Drink!"

Moon Dancer glanced down at the table, but she blinked in surprise to see that two of the shot glasses were already empty.

They looked over at Maud, who peered back at them under hooded eyes. "Let's party," she said.

Moon Dancer had lost track of what Starlight was saying, but she caught back up in time to hear, "Hey, you know who's great? Spike. Spike is just a good little guy."

"Yay Spike!" Moon Dancer agreed.

Trixie's front hooves were up on the table. "Rule seven of Starlight Club Happy Hour!" she announced officially. "Spike is great!" They cheered.

Moon Dancer placed her face against the side of her newest cocktail. The glass was pleasingly cool. "Twilight comment," she said. "Let me know if I break rule number one."

"Go for it."

"Okay." Moon Dancer adjusted her glasses and pointed a hoof up in the air as if she was asking a question at an academic conference. "Occasionally, just a little bit, I feel like Twilight still... looks down on me a tiny smidge iota. Like a part of her still sees me as the weirdo, antisocial kid from school. Just an eensy jot whit dab mite speck skosh."

"You should talk to her about it!" Starlight threw her hoof around Moon Dancer's shoulders, leaning in to share her wisdom. "Honesty is important in friendships. But. Listen. I know about friendships."

"Yes?"

Starlight poked her with her free front hoof, accenting every word: "Don't. Bring. It. Up. Now. Don't fight about two things at once, that never works. Don't pile stuff on."

"Okay." Moon Dancer sighed, gleefully morose. "Twilight's the best. I don't want to fight with her."

Starlight nodded smartly, pulling away. "Twilight's great, but Starlight Club is great too, that was rule three."

"Rule two," Maud corrected, swaying very slightly and otherwise showing no sign of intoxication. "Rule three was that if tonight is your first time at Starlight Club, you have to Starlight."

Starlight blinked. "That doesn't make any sense. Who came up with it?"

"It never did. You."

"Oh." Starlight nodded, apparently satisfied. There was a brief pause, and then she burst out: "Personal question! Let me know if I break rule four." (Rule four was "Don't make Moon Dancer freak out.")

"Continue."

"Okay." Starlight tilted her head and asked Moon Dancer, very seriously, "How gay are you?"

Moon Dancer looked back, equally serious. "Nine."

"Nine?" Starlight tilted her head the other way, confused. "Nine... uh, I don't understand, what scale are you using?"

"Gays."

"You're... nine gays."

"Yes."

"I'm seven gays!" Trixie interjected happily. "That might sound like less, but it's not. In reality, seven is the ideal amount of gays."

Starlight blinked languidly, then frowned. "You guys are making fun of me."

"Little bit," Moon Dancer replied, smirking.

Starlight sat on her haunches, pouting, and took a drink from her cocktail. "I'm just asking a question. I've never thought about this stuff, gay or straight or whatever."

"I just don't know what you're asking," Moon Dancer said casually, relishing the chance to impart knowledge of any kind. "Be as clear as you can."

"I mean, I don't know," Starlight said, blushing slightly. "I spent my formative years planning to make a zombie village. Um... when did you realize it?"

Moon Dancer rubbed her chin in thought. "I'm not sure, sometime in school. I just treated it like I treat everything: I had these feelings, and they made me curious, so I did some research and figured it out."

Starlight nodded, enthralled. "You realized it by doing research? In a library? Like... sociology textbooks?"

Moon Dancer ignored Trixie's amused grin and Maud's amused nothing. "And psychology, yes. But I'm weird." She sighed. "Okay, uh, let's just get the basics out of the way, all right? Coming out was hard, but supportive friends make a big difference. Sexuality and attraction are very confusing, because they're influenced by a zillion different things and there's a lot of metacognition involved, so all you can do is just go with what feels truest and best. No, I did not have to date a stallion just to 'know for sure.' No, I'm not attracted to all of my mare friends, although my mare friends do all happen to be unusually hot. And yes, we can do it that way, but it doesn't work very well."

Starlight pressed her hooves up against her mouth like she was witnessing something her parents would disapprove of her for seeing. "Thank you," she whispered. "This is... all embarrassing to talk about, most of the time."

"I know," Moon Dancer replied, though she could not be angry at someone acting so childlike. "Starlight, why are you asking about all this, really?"

Starlight looked away sheepishly. "It's just... I don't think I reacted very well when I found out about Fluttershy or, um, Trixie. I want to be better if I end up needing to be there for Twilight, too."

Trixie, with an uncharacteristic frown, put her hoof on Starlight's shoulder. "I told you, you were fine, Starlight."

"Yeah, I mean." Starlight looked away, blushing, then she suddenly reared back up in excitement. "Also! Sometimes? Sometimes, I..." She squeezed her eyes shut and blurted: "Sometimes I think Countess Coloratura is really sexy!" She squealed and hopped in place. "I said it! I can't believe I said it!"

"Yes!" Trixie agreed. "Rule number eight! Countess Coloratura is..."

"Objection." Maud held up a hoof. "I think she tries too hard."

Starlight gasped. "Tries too hard?? That's... how dare you!"

"I call it like I see it."

"Girls," Trixie interrupted, "Objection noted, Maud. Starlight Club Suggestion 1a: Countess Coloratura is sexy. Starlight Club Suggestion 1b: See objection filed by Treasurer Pie."

This appeared to satisfy everypony, but after only a few seconds, Moon Dancer noticed Starlight seemed a little nervous again. "You okay?"

Starlight looked away. "Um... you said your friends were hot?"

"Yep." Moon Dancer took a sip of cocktail. "Super hot."

Starlight glanced awkwardly around the bar, then back at Moon Dancer. "...who?"

Moon Dancer felt her face and neck heating up. "Who... do I think is hot?"

"Yeah. Like, especially. Besides Fluttershy, she's too easy."

"Um." Moon Dancer felt unexpectedly bashful about this line of questioning. She felt completely unable to speak for a moment.

"You don't have to answer just because Starlight asks," Maud said.

Moon Dancer snapped back to reality. "No, it's okay." She shook her head to clear the fog. "Um, well... do you know my friend Minuette? In Canterlot? And... I don't know. Rarity, I guess. Really, all of them." She noticed the anxious expression on Starlight's face and suddenly realized why she was being asked these questions. She relaxed. "Starlight, you're included in my friend group, too. You're super hot, I promise."

Starlight blushed incredibly. "Toldja," Trixie said.

Moon Dancer grinned, beginning to fill back up with confidence. "You're not my type," she said, "but I a little bit suspect that Fluttershy thinks you're attractive."

Starlight literally gasped. Then she got the hiccups. "Reall--hic. Really?"

"I don't know for sure, but I get that feeling. And..." She lowered her voice. "I've been told something that isn't a secret, but I'm not sure anypony at this table knows. For about a month there, Fluttershy had a pretty big crush... on Maud."

The other occupants of the table gaped at Maud, who did not change her facial expression even slightly. "I feel very flattered," she said.

Trixie raised her hoof in the air. "Oh, do me next, do me! Who has a secret crush on me?"

Moon Dancer smiled. "Oh, Trixie. The whole world has a crush on you."

Trixie laughed boisterously. "Indeed they do!"

After her laughter died down, there was a moment of quiet, and that was all it took for Moon Dancer's drunkenness to begin to shift from bright to morose. She sighed and put her head down on the table.

"I think Moon Dancer is going to talk about her feelings," Maud announced, but it was impossible to tell what she thought about that.

Trixie flopped against Starlight. "Oh yeah? Lay it on us, Good Friend."

Moon Dancer chewed her cheek and cast her eyes to a corner of the room. "Am I just a failed clone of Twilight?"

Starlight seemed almost offended by the question. "What? What are you talking about? Hic"

"I don't know." Moon Dancer closed her eyes. "All through school, there was a part of me that... I guess, I always felt like we were exactly the same, but she was better."

"My dear," Trixie said, smirking, "Twilight Sparkle insecurity isn't exactly a rare condition."

"It isn't?"

In response, Starlight and Trixie just glanced at each other and then back at Moon Dancer. "Hic"

Moon Dancer sighed. "I guess," she said, though she did not actually feel any better. "Maud?"

"Moon Dancer?"

"Tell me a story about rocks, please?"

"All right." Moon Dancer closed her eyes again as Maud began her oration. "Once upon a time, there was a large piece of basaltic rock that broke off from a larger mass created by upswelling mantle from oceanic transform faults. Erosion shaped this rock into an unusually rounded, smooth shape."

Moon Dancer felt herself relaxing. Everything drifted away except Maud's voice: "...came to rest against a volcanic island, itself composed primarily of basalt..." And she fell asleep.

Author's Note:

Let's drink, drink, this town is so great.

Comments

[J Carp]

8985693
Hmm, what do you think is the big trigger, here? The lack of memory? The fact that everyone's laughing at her?

I'm happy to know about something affecting people in a negative way so I can rewrite it, especially a side joke that's really just for color. Do you think it's different if Sunset knows about the suggestion and is clearly presented as okay with it, and it's made clear her friends wouldn't use it if she wasn't?

[Darkstarling]

...Maud telling rock stories is now high on my list of most adorable things ever.

Love this chapter and the interactions.

For the backup elements:
Trixie is Laughter, performing and bringing light into ponies lives
Maud is Honesty
Starlight pretty much has to be Magic
Moon Dancer is probably Loyalty, she's the one I'm having most trouble with matching

[Meta Four]

So we saw in the last chapter that Twilight has a nagging doubt that Moon Dancer is an improved copy of herself—and now Moondancer admits she thinks she’s just an inferior clone of Twilight. Aside from appreciating the irony, I have to wonder if that will make their eventual reconciliation easier, or harder.

[Darkstarling]

8986440
I always imagine it as her being able to sense connections, see their qualities, and to catalyze potential rather than going 'boom, you're in love now'.

[chris the cynic]

8985732
First off, sorry for not responding to this. You responded almost immediately, but until today I didn't know that. For some reason the usual notifications didn't go off and, coupled with the fact that your response is attached to a completely different chapter, that left me thinking no one ever felt the need to respond to my comment.

Anyway, you did a good job of fixing it on your own. If I'd reread that part of the chapter itself when checking for replies I would have seen that more than a month ago (I'm guessing) and said something about it.

---

Don't know if you still would like an answer given that you clearly don't need one, but if you would:

It's all tied up in consent. The memory thing made it so that Sunset couldn't meaningfully consent because, even if she gave consent in the moment, she was still getting hit by the consequences when she had no idea what was going on. (Exacerbated by the fact that the "no idea what's going on" part when she wasn't consenting seemed to be the vast majority of her time.)

Plus, the original version had her wanting to know which is pretty much the exact opposite of being ok with having her memory altered to keep her in the dark. All of the simple ways one might try to get around that would actually make it worse (e.g. "I'm ok doing this so long as I don't remember afterward," is an extremely toxic mindset.)

---

Like I said, you did a good job of fixing it without my input.

[J Carp]

9070230
Oh, good. Thanks for your response. Like I said before, I appreciate hearing about potentially harmful things that I don't, for whatever reason, notice on my own.

And I'm glad my intuitions about how to fix it were good, too. I think when I came up with that story element, I was using the show itself as a model. And in retrospect, uh, the way they treat mind control stuff might not be the best thing to mimic.

[Mare Imbrium]

So my gut says Twilight is probably somewhere in the Demi-area if she's not ace, Starlight is apparently questioning, and Rarity is definitely totally 111% unequivocally straight; I totally believe her.

[Soge]

I could watch these 4 interacting forever.

[Venlinelle]

Trixie simpered and leaned over to Moon Dancer. "As president of the Starlight Club, let me officially welcome you into Starlight Club. We think she's trying to recruit her own alternate version of the Elements of Harmony. When she's done, we get our own castle!"

Members not present include Pharynx, Thorax, and not Discord because he refuses to show up after A Matter of Principals.