It Turns Out They're Windmills

by J Carp

Everything Right Is Wrong Again

Fluttershy thought about sea lions.

They were larger than the kind of animal she typically felt drawn to... not that large animals weren't cute, of course. Elephants and whales and hippopotamuses were all adorable, and that was just off the top of her head. It was just, smaller animals seemed weaker and vulnerable, like they needed her care. A bunny was to be protected, but a sea lion could take care of itself.

The reason she thought about sea lions was because her special somepony reminded her of one.

Moon Dancer trotted around the kitchen, humming very artificially to herself. She finished wrapping the breakfast burritos and levitated them over to the table where Fluttershy was waiting.

"It smells wonderful," Fluttershy said.

"Thanks; So I was thinking!" Moon Dancer replied with unconvincing nonchalance. "I was making a list of my favorite things that I don't own. Like a complete edition of Trotarch's 'Moralia' or that ancient spell that gives ponies a photographic memory or the lost Arthouse Fantasma film. And I was thinking, hey, does Fluttershy have any favorite things she doesn't own?" She grinned enormously. "I thought it might be interesting breakfast conversation!"

The thing about sea lions was, they were very graceful underwater. Beautiful swimmers, actually; agile and swift. But on land, they flopped around like exhausted, ungainly blobs, barking out horrible, hilarious sounds.

"I think I'd really just treasure anything from a pony who cares about me," Fluttershy said.

Moon Dancer began to sweat. "Yes, sure, of course, but what might the kind of thing be that you'd treasure from a pony who cared about you?"

One of the things Fluttershy loved most about Moon Dancer was how considerate she was. There were lots of things about her that could be scary: she acted closed-up and cold sometimes; she was brilliant and educated and knew so many obscure, important things. And she was even kind of cool in a weird way, she was into all these interesting artists and musicians and film-makers. But she was absolutely never smug or arrogant about any of it. She treated Fluttershy like an expert, like somepony she wanted to learn from. It was the easiest thing in the world for her to make Fluttershy feel safe and respected.

But in other kinds of situations, nothing was the easiest thing in the world for Moon Dancer. She was so dramatically inept, it went all the way around and became endearing. "Oh, I don't know," Fluttershy said. "I enjoy being introduced to new things. Maybe a record from that band you discovered in school and was so life-changing? What were they called?"

"Neutral Milk Gazelle," Moon Dancer answered, but she did not look satisfied. "I mean, that's good and all, but... I'd like to know what you'd like, not, like, something you'd like because somepony you like likes it."

Fluttershy knew she should not tease her special somepony, but she just couldn't control herself. "Oh. And... you're just curious? You're not asking for any particular reason?"

"Ah ha ha ha!" Moon Dancer's forehead glistened with flop sweat. "Of course not! What reason would there be?"

Fluttershy smiled demurely. "Well, my birthday is coming up."

"Oh is it?" Moon Dancer barked, then suddenly paused. "I mean... of course I know when your birthday is, I just..." She stared at Fluttershy blankly for a moment. "Say, do you like the food? I tried putting poblano peppers in them this time."

Fluttershy giggled, then she tilted her head and just regarded Moon Dancer. She marveled once again at how simultaneously banal and strange it was that they were together. On the one hoof, they simply met through a mutual good friend, dated, and fell in love. On the other hoof, she was Fluttershy and she had a brilliant cute-nerd special somepony! "You're adorable," she said.

Moon Dancer blinked. "I am?"

Fluttershy daintily set her burrito to the side.

"Um. Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy smiled at her, feeling relaxed and sly. "So. My poor friend Zecora was VERY sick. And we had to find an ancient mask in order to help her."

Moon Dancer blanched. "What are you doing?"

"We read alllll the books on medicine, and alllll the books on magic," Fluttershy continued, voice dropping to a low purr. "And so the only thing to do next was to read every. Book. In the entire. Library."

"Oh ah..." Moon Dancer was trembling very slightly. "I... have to get to the castle for work? And you have to..."

"So I stayed up all night. On a giant mountain of books." Fluttershy began to slowly walk around the table toward her special somepony. "In a medical history text..." (she dropped to a breathy whisper when she said the phrase 'medical history') "...I kept seeing a word I thought might mean 'mask' from the context, but the book was in Old Ponish. So. I had to get ANOTHER book..." She leaned in close and whispered in Moon Dancer's ear. "...to help me translate."

Moon Dancer looked like she was about to faint. She stared at Fluttershy, completely enraptured.

Fluttershy smirked. "Luckily, I had another list of sources." She paused dramatically. "So I could.... cross-refer--"

And that was when Moon Dancer finally pounced.

---

The cucumber sandwiches had been a hit, and Moon Dancer couldn't be prouder. She had never had so many new visitors over to her house at one time, much less such an eclectic group, but it seemed the basics still worked: tea, cucumber sandwiches, pleasant conversation.

She smiled at her motley roomful of guests: two ponies, one whatever-it-is, one rabbit. "Thank you all so much for coming," she said, noticing Rarity's teacup was empty and refilling it.

"Thanks for the sandwiches!" Rainbow Dash replied, enthusiastically wolfing down the last one on the tray.

Discord peered at her through his monocle. "Cheerio," he said. "Pip pip."

"...Why are you talking like that?"

"I'm posh, of course. It's posh teatime for poshes."

"...I see." Moon Dancer refocused and stood authoritatively in front of her quests. "Well!" she said, pacing with rigid steps like a senior lecturer. "It's good to see all of you, but I invited you all here for a specific reason. As you all know, Fluttershy's birthday is next week. It's the first one since we've been together, and it's important to me to get her a present she likes." She nodded to each of her guests. "You all know her well, in different contexts. I was hoping you could give me some suggestions."

"Oh, pshhh," Rainbow said, waving her hoof dismissively. "Fluttershy is, like, the easiest pony ever to shop for. She likes anything you give her!"

"That's actually the problem," Moon Dancer replied. "She's okay with lots of things. But I want to get her something great. I tried asking her what she wanted indirectly but... um. That, uh. Didn't work. I think I was too subtle."

"Hmm." Rarity tapped her bottom lip with a hoof in thought. "Maybe something for her animals?"

"That was my first inclination, too, but she knows so much more than me about that, I wouldn't know where to start." Moon Dancer hung her head and sighed. "I had a nightmare I bought her a bear comb, and she ran off crying because it's cruel to use combs on bears. I don't get bears; bears are way more persnickety than you would think."

"You're thinking about this too hard!" Rainbow broke in, then went silent. She looked over at Moon Dancer. Then she looked at the second tray of cucumber sandwiches, sitting on the side table. Then she looked back at Moon Dancer.

Moon Dancer dutifully hovered the tray over to Rainbow, who took three sandwiches. Angel Bunny grabbed one too, tossing the bread on the ground and munching grouchily on the cucumber.

"Anyway, you're thinking about it too hard," Rainbow continued. "It doesn't have to be perfect, just do your best and she'll love it."

"I know what you should get her!" Discord suddenly shouted, startling everyone else in the room. He gazed at them, a delighted smile on his face. "A spoon."

They all just stared at him in bemusement. He pointed, "Like that one, on the table." They looked at the spoon, which was completely mundane.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Yeahhh, so... why?"

"Because that spoon..." Discord paused for dramatic effect, "...can talk."

There was a pause. Moon Dancer turned to her other guests. "So anyway..."

"Hello!!" the spoon suddenly screeched from the table.

They looked down at it. A face grinned back at them from the concave surface, goggling its eyes.

"It's me, Discord!" the spoon announced. "I was the spoon, the whole time!"

Moon Dancer glared at him with the least amused expression she could muster. "Are you done?"

"I'm the tea, too!" Discord's voice called from Rarity's teacup.

Rarity somehow turned whiter. "What?" She looked around the room in alarm. "Discord, how long have you been the tea?" Discord and the tea simply smiled back at her.

Rarity took a step backwards. "I drank that tea!"

"Oooooo," the tea said. "I'm insiiiiide your bellllly."

Rarity put a hoof to her mouth. She turned to Moon Dancer, flashing a polite smile. "Darling, may I please use your restroom?"

"Down the hall on the left."

"Thank you, dear." Rarity tore out of the room like a terrified duck. Discord just twiddled his thumbs innocently.

Rainbow raised her eyebrow. "Are you the sandwiches, too?"

"One of them."

Rainbow regarded the tray of sandwiches warily. Finally, she shrugged and resumed eating.

Moon Dancer glared. "Discord..."

"Oh, come on, it's just a joke," Discord interrupted lightly. "I'm not inside her belly. That would be worse for me than for her, if you think about it."

"Discord!"

"Oh, fine, fine, I'll tell her the truth." Discord shook his head disapprovingly, but he ambled off toward the restroom.

Moon Dancer sighed and turned back to her remaining guests. At that moment, a balled-up piece of paper struck her in the face.

She stood still, eyes closed, as the paper fell to the floor. She took a deep breath. When she was halfway calm, she opened her eyes, grimacing down at Angel Bunny. "Why."

Angel, in response, just pointed down at the paper and waved his paws in vexation.

Moon Dancer levitated the paper up and began uncrumpling it. As she began to see what was written there, she realized it was an advertisement torn out of a magazine. "Oh... Angel! This is your suggestion for what to get Fluttershy, isn't it?"

Angel nodded enthusiastically.

Moon Dancer smiled at him. "Oh, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I should have realized you were just trying to help." She fully unfolded the paper and took in what was being advertised.

She looked back at Angel, no longer smiling. "Your suggestion for Fluttershy's birthday... is the KarrotBear5000. A carrot smoothie maker. 'Process 100 carrots in a minute.'"

Angel nodded again, seeming relieved she understood.

"As a gift for Fluttershy."

Angel nodded, a bit more hesitantly this time.

She drooped her eyelids, too tired to even be angry. "Because everypony knows what a big fan Fluttershy is of carrot smoothies."

Angel took a step back, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead.

"Aggh!" Moon Dancer flung the ad up into the air and stomped across the room.

"Moon Dancer, it's all right." Rarity walked back into the room, looking a bit disheveled but still determined to be a quality houseguest. "It's very romantic that you want to find the perfect gift, but Rainbow Dash was correct. Fluttershy really does tend to treasure anything, if it's given from the heart."

"Yeah," Rainbow agreed, swallowing down another sandwich. "And I dunno if you've noticed this, but she is completely ga-ga in love with you."

Moon Dancer blushed heavily. "Um, yes, I... um, noticed," she mumbled.

"You could walk up to her with a stick you find on the ground, and she'd be all..." Rainbow adopted a saccharine, cooing imitation of Fluttershy's voice: "'ohhhh, this stick has just the cutest little nubby parts! I'm going to keep it in a special box next to my bed, where will be guarded by a hedgehog!'"

Moon Dancer laughed and relaxed despite herself. "All right, I get it."

"Hedgehogs are very intimidating," the spoon on the table said seriously. The rest of them ignored it.

"If it's appropriate for me to say, I can only imagine things going badly in one circumstance," Rarity said. "And that's if you get so focused on finding her the perfect gift that you never get her a gift at all."

"Oh, give me some credit," Moon Dancer said. "Would I ever do that? Please don't answer; of course I would do that."

"Right." Rarity put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "So, our advice is to just follow your heart and trust yourself. Stop trying to get more information so you can find the perfect gift."

Moon Dancer nodded gratefully. "Okay. Thanks, everyone."

---

Moon Dancer was just getting into the groove of her writing, when the door to her office burst open and Twilight stuck her head in. "Hey!" Twilight exclaimed with enthusiasm and cheer. "You know how you were telling me you needed to get more information so you could find the perfect gift for Fluttershy? Well, c'mon, I have a surprise for you!"

Moon Dancer set her parchment and quill down, the last vestiges of her irritation clinging on like ivy. Working in the same castle as her oldest friend had a lot of positives, but pre-noon cheerfulness was not one of them. Twilight was technically her boss; she was paying her this stipend to research the Everfree. Didn't she know not to interrupt her when she was trying to concentrate and also when she had not had her third cup of coffee yet? "Really? I just sat down to work."

"You can work later! Come on!" Twilight pranced out of the room without waiting for an answer. Moon Dancer gave up even the pretense of frustration, smiled, and followed.

Twilight was humble, so when she was proud of herself, she tended not to be arrogant or boastful. Instead, she just glowed with delight, practically vibrating with glee as she led Moon Dancer down the hallway. "You wanted to surprise Fluttershy with a birthday present," she was saying, "but you can't ask Fluttershy, or it wouldn't be a surprise. And nopony else had any ideas."

"...Right," Moon Dancer replied. "But..."

"Right, but!" Twilight froze and suddenly spun around, staring at Moon Dancer with a joyful grin. "What if we could ask Fluttershy directly... without asking Fluttershy directly?"

"Um. That would... do the trick, I guess."

"What if! There was in fact! Another Fluttershy we could ask?!"

"Ohhhhh," Moon Dancer said, not really getting it but sensing this was supposed to be a moment of revelation.

"Human Fluttershy!" Twilight explained. "From the human world! It's an alternate dimension with alternate versions of every pony in Equestria!" She turned back and started walking again toward her bedroom. "I had some adventures there a while ago, and my good friend Sunset still lives there. You would love Sunset, you and she are the two smartest non-Celestia ponies I know."

She flung open the door and pranced into her room, levitating up a glowing book. "Ta da!" she announced. "Sunset and I can communicate through this magic journal. Last night, I asked her to ask human Fluttershy what she wanted for her birthday. Isn't it brilliant??"

"Wait." Moon Dancer's mind was reeling, more from the fact that Twilight actually said 'ta da' out loud than from any news of alternate dimensions. "Just... one second. There's a dimension with another, identical Fluttershy?"

"Yes! Well, she has hands instead of wings. And she's still in high school. But other than that, yes, identical!"

"Hm." Moon Dancer nodded thoughtfully. "Wow. This is a really good idea, Twilight. Thank you."

"Aaa!" Twilight closed her eyes and giggled. "I saw the journal start glowing (that means Sunset replied) and I immediately ran to get you. Are you ready to find out what she says?"

Moon Dancer smiled; Twilight's giddiness was contagious. "Sure."

Twilight hovered the book over in front of them both and opened it up. Together, they read the glowing writing:

Hi, Twilight, it's so good to hear from you. There's not much new going on, over on this side of the mirror.

"The portal across dimensions is a magic mirror," Twilight explained unnecessarily.

We're just still working on our projects for that science fair I told you about a little while ago. I'm doing one with Flash Sentry, and that's working out pretty well. He kind of still has a tendency to let me walk all over him when we work together, but we talked about it. After that he started bringing up his ideas more, even when they disagree with mine. I think it's really helping us come up with good plans.

"Flash is her ex! They're friends now."

Hey, so I got your question about Fluttershy. I had actually wanted to talk to you about her anyway, so it's a little serendipitous that you asked. But the really strange part is, you said it was because of her special somepony. You know how we've talked about concordance between the dimensions, right? Well, get ready for this: our Fluttershy just recently started dating someone, too! It seems like, on your side, the relationship has been going on longer than it has over here, but still: that's bizarre and interesting, right? Within a few months of each other, both Fluttershies would start dating?

Twilight gasped. "It's you!"

"...what?"

"It's got to be you!" Twilight clapped her hooves together in excitement. "Human Fluttershy is dating human Moon Dancer!"

"Come on, what are the chances of that?"

"Really low. Unless!" Twilight stared at her intently. "Love that spans the dimensional planes!"

Anyway, I'm sorry, but I didn't get a chance to ask our Fluttershy about birthday presents. This is what I wanted to talk to you about: none of us have really had the chance to see her much since she started dating. Listen, I know you said that her special somepony, Moon Dancer, was your old friend from school, but... do you really like him? Is he actually tolerable?

Twilight's mouth fell open in dismay. Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow.

Because, I don't know how else to put this, so I'll just write it directly: Fluttershy's boyfriend over here is the worst.

Author's Note:

The healing doesn't stop the feeling.

Comments

[everydaygamer]

Oh boy a sequel! Looking forward to the next one.

[Texus]

are these the same characters? I mean do we have the same main chars in this?

this could be the first time I wouldn't mind other main chars, but I hoped to have a sequel with the same characters.
I will see when I have the time to read this.

[Texus]

This was a nice chapter, but I hope the ending isn't suggesting it continues with the Equestria girls world.

I mean that the whole story is going to be about that world and in that pov.

[nemryn]

They are indeed super cute.

[J Carp]

8936502
The story's going to take place both in EQ-land and in Equestria. Main characters are pretty much the ones listed for the story.

[Texus]

8939339
THat's okay I guess, I think I know which main chars you mean know, but because Equestria girls was in it, I could hav enever knows if it wasn't the other Fluttershy or Moondancer as the main chars suddenly.

[Pontiac56]

Fluttershy seducing Moondancer was both the most hilarious and most adorable thing ever. They are perfect for eachother

[Mare Imbrium]

Oh. Oooooooooh. So THIS is the long, twisty drama story. Well then.

But I'm in for more adorkable MoonShy; bring it on, Drama Llama!

[J Carp]

9327994

This is my mental image of llama drama.

[Vaguely Demented]

Hippos are strangely horrible creatures. They attack anything in their territory and they are capable of projectile defecation up to 2 meters.

[BlueMoonHarlot]

"You're thinking about this too hard!" Rainbow broke in, then went silent. She looked over at Moon Dancer. Then she looked at the second tray of cucumber sandwiches, sitting on the side table. Then she looked back at Moon Dancer.

Moon Dancer dutifully hovered the tray over to Rainbow, who took three sandwiches.

I love your little character moments so much