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It’s the middle of the night and Luna’s got the munchies. Thankfully, Canterlot Castle just acquired a vending machine for such occasions.
What could possibly go wrong?
This was written for the Luna (is BEST Pone) Contest hosted by PixelMoon, based on the prompt: “Luna’s chips get stuck in a vending machine.”
Celestia's heavenly body! Featured 05/08/18 through 05/10/18!
Also read by Forrest McGilvray and Winged T. Spears.
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The horse pun candy bars killed me. Great job!
"Twilight?"
Twilight Sparkle opened one sleepy eye and looked at Spike, who was standing out on the starlit balcony of her castle bedroom. "Go to bed, Spike. It's the middle of the night."
"I think this is important." The little dragon vanished into the darkness of the bedroom, emerging with a quill and sheet of parchment. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you want to see this."
Giving a grunt, the Princess of Friendship dragged herself to the edge of the balcony and looked up where Spike was pointing. After a certain period of soundless contemplation, she blinked, then pinched herself on one foreleg. "Spike," she said in a low voice. "I need you to take a letter."
"Dear Princess Celestia," said Spike, starting to write.
"Dear Princess Celestia," said Twilight, still looking up into the night sky. "I don't remember any prophecy about a vending machine getting banished to the moon."
This kind of reminds me of the opening scene of Progress, except Luna is having trouble with a vending machine instead of a toaster.
Nice job! Have a like!
That's an impressive selection of archaic vocabulary.
I remember Progress fondly. And is was a Microwave, Jade.
I like this
8912624
Ohohoho my gosh! This was almost as funny as the fic itself! Made my day.
8912624
This absolutely made my day!
👍
Noice~
8912627
The story was adorable, I've had Luna's problem many a time. This though sold it for me. I was more picturing Celestia at some point deciding to use it simply for the novelty only to come up on a repair crew rebuilding the area where once stood the fancy new vending machine but I like your idea better
Please oh please more of this.
This is amazing. Definitely one of the best things I’ve read, ever. Including LotR.
good ting
Been there, done that, cursed machine!!!
8913577
That's... very high praise!
Please make more like this please.
8913660
And well-deserved praise, might I add.
Be like Bull from "Night Court".
Punch a hole in the vending machine and take your chips.
I can't remember which episode that was from... but I recall it was because Bull was exceedingly tired for some reason.
Great. Now I want barbeque chips.
8914056
Sorry; I wrote this while hungry.
...Afterwards, I downed an entire can of barbeque Pringles.
Freaking vending machines. Never reliable.
8914079
I know the feeling. I had to stop buying Pizza pringles altogether. They'd be gone within the day i bought them.
Really? C'mon, Luna can turn into smoke. She could have have just floated a tendril of her smoke through the door at the bottom and grabbed the chips. Simple really. I did enjoy the dialogue though.
...and she didn't stab the spear through the machine because?
Someone needs to do an audio adaptation of this, immediately. Scribbler, Emogak, I'm looking at you, ladies.
This happened to me the other night. The third chip bag didn't work. It got lodged in a bag of pretzels, and the machine was too heavy for three of us to move. Finally got someone who was hungry for pretzels to help, though.
And the next morning only a smoldering crater could be found at where the vending machine was.
8914272
Luna reached in and got stuck there because of the magic-proof glass. A simple sequel, really.
Some of these words sound made up...
Next: Celestia vs. a faulty ATM!
Screw that cheap vending machine, she should use scp 294
8915384
Luna's old English? How so? I don't assume you mean anything else, but a good portion of my reading material is written in old English, and I've been told it sounds ridiculous or confusing.
I, on the other hand, fail to see the confusion in the old dialect, but maybe that's just me
I'm curious, however, as to what exactly sounds made-up. Though mayst provide an example unto thee, mine lief? :3
OLD ENGLISH LIKE A BAWS!!! XD
Lovely. Just lovely! The grammar is more than decent; which is hard to come by nowadays. The idea of this story is wonderful, and the execution is fabulous!
Four point five stars, but only because I feel that Royalty wouldn't ask a guard - who could be poor for all she knows - for a bit. But it is only one, so that is why it is 4.5 and not 4 stars (out of five).
8915913
You'd best be joking. Calling http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FloweryElizabethanEnglish/YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe "Old English" is a cardinal sin among English Majors. Hell, there are two reasons people get into real Old English. One is Tolkien fandom, the other is to be able to properly cuss out people at RenFaires when they do it.
8914079
hunger sure messes with you dont it
Great story, but I would elaborate on the ending.
There Comes A Time in every Pony's life when they have to do the unthinkable, this is an example of one of those times.
While Luna is not best pone, it HAS been ages since I've seen a proper "Luna vs. Modern Technology/Life" story. Not since the early days of the fandom when we loved that little blue Fluttershy moonhorse. Before the NLR rose to any sort of power. The good days.
8917925
Pistols At Dawn was a good recent one.
8912624
I can't believe how many people actually get this wrong. The Princesses themselves can't banish anything or anypony to the moon. That's entirely a Elements of Harmony thing.
8918468
Nightmare Moon banished Celestia to the moon in Cutie Re-Mark. Celestia used the Elements but NMM certainly didn’t.
This Luna vs [CARDNAME] stories are the best
8918713
I don't count NMM because Luna just seemed unnaturally powerful there. I'm convinced there was some dark presence behind it.
Amazing. Loved how you included the Lunar Guard (or as a like to call them, the “Nightmare Guard”).
Close to home
8919295
Yes, personally believe its the standard case of 'magic based on emotions is stronger', and Nightmare Moon is a master of dark magic with all her resentment.
You are a master at ponifying puns!
This was great, even though i could only understand about half of the words...
8921054
Thank you!!