Twilight’s horn was glowing brightly as she pulled on Rarity’s hooves, getting another inch out of the canvas painting. “I didn’t think,” the princess grunted as she pulled harder, “that this spell would be so stubborn!”
Rarity’s rear hooves were flailing inside the painting, entirely out of sight from everyone. The mass of fluffy fur made even the canvas hard to spot. “Twilight, pull harder! I’m almost out!”
A snickering Rainbow Dash, finally free to fly as she wished, watched the spectacle from the air with a hoof to her mouth. “I don’t think the spell’s what’s keeping her in.” The fashionista hissed at her airborne friend, spooking her into falling to one of the seats in the room.
Applejack chuckled as she brushed some hay off of her shoulders, bale left destroyed in the corner of the room. “Ah think ya struck a nerve there Dash.” The pegasus blew a raspberry at the farmer, to which Applejack only rolled her eyes and headed out the door.
Starlight shook her head at the scene, blowing her nose before looking at the last occupant of the room. “Twilight, how long do these spells last?” Fluttershy was still a giggling mess, even the slightest touch sending her into new fits, and was laid out on the couch.
One final pull got Rarity out of the painting, and the lavender princess lowered the fluffy mare to the ground before addressing the question. “Well, the Into the Art World spell on the canvas is pretty much indefinite if I create a source of magic for it to draw from. There were a few siphons I placed behind it to keep the spell active for a more extended period of time so nothing would happen to Rarity, so it should last for another two days.
“As for the Eternal Tickle spell, that should last a few more hours... I think.” The alicorn blushed as she looked into the feather filled hole. “I may have forgotten how many feathers I enchanted while filling the pit.” At everyone’s stares, she grew a bit more rosy-cheeked. “I wasn’t thinking about it at the time!”
Rainbow rubbed the back of her head and landed next to her fellow pegasus and being careful not to touch her. “Geez Twilight, I know we got you mad, but that’s a little harsh. Considering this was for Pinks, that’d be torture for her.”
A dejected sigh escaped the princess as her ears fell flat on her head. “I know, but what’s done is done and I can’t just magic away the charm. If I tried, it would only last longer.” The alicorn sat with a dejected sigh. “We’ll just need to wait for it to wear off gradually.”
Applejack grunted as she hauled a spring-loaded catapult down the hallway, stopping at the doorway long enough to poke her head in. “Can Y'all just focus on getting these traps all put away for now?”
Twilight shook her head and looked at her gathered friends as she stood back up. “Right, we should head to the portal and make sure Pinkie doesn't trigger anything.”
Before they all could charge ahead, Rarity tapped Twilight on the shoulder and cleared her throat. “Darling, wouldn’t it be easier to just go through and bring her back yourself?”
The group collectively paused before Twilight slapped a hoof to her face. “Okay, you have a point there. I probably could have avoided all of this if I’d just gone over myself to help catch you. But I’m the one who planted all the traps and know where they all are. I should stay and help.”
With a smile that was barely visible under her fur, Rarity gently pushed her friend towards the door. “Darling, we’ll be just fine. From what we could tell, you made sure with absolute certainty that these traps would not harm anyone intentionally. Even if we fall in one, I’m sure the rest of our friends could pull us out of them before anything bad happens.”
“Well,” Twilight looked amongst the group and bit her lip, before shaking her head and sighing, “alright, but if anything happens and one of you get stuck you better write to me through the journal!” She brought a scroll over with her magic before hastily writing something down. “Here’s a list of all the traps I made, and which ones were and weren’t triggered.”
Starlight nodded as she picked up both the scroll and the temp journal in her magic. “You can count on us.” Without further prompting, Twilight dived through the portal and rushed off to the school’s entrance the moment she got her bearings, desperate to get inside and find her pink friend and prevent a possible reality ending scenario.
In Equestria, however, Starlight turned around and had to grab Rainbow Dash to keep her from running out of the castle. “REALLY!?” The unicorn promptly started to have a coughing fit again.
Rainbow struggled to fly forward and out of the magic grabbing her. “Are you kidding? She petrified me for over an hour! I’m out of here!”
Applejack facehoofed as she looked at her flying friend. “Look Rainbow, we all screwed up a bit here. Runnin off like a chicken with a timberwolf on its tail won’t make that better right now.”
The flier’s face turned a shade of red before she got as close as she could with a glare. “Who are you calling chicken!?”
“Girls, can we please just get to work taking some of this stuff down before it actually does hurt somepony?” Rarity called from next to a trap door she found under the rug, pulling out what looked like some form of ray gun with a sticker of some kind of alien in an outfit that looked like metal plates done into a skirt and one of the royal guard’s helmets. “I mean it, some of these things are making me very worried about the prior state of Twilight’s sanity.”
Starlight’s jaw dropped as she stared at the ray gun. “Who was that even for!?”
“Pinkie most likely.” Rarity turned over the device a bit and looked down the hole again. “There’s a rather large number of cupcakes at the bottom, sitting on a bullseye. We should probably check some of the other rooms too.”
“Right, right.” As they walked, the pink unicorn was looking over the list Twilight had given them all, noting the number of items on it. “Ugh, why did Twilight make so many traps?”
Rainbow’s eyebrows knitted together as she looked at Applejack. “Wait, I thought she already set up a trap for Pinkie and caught Fluttershy instead?”
The apple farmer raised an eyebrow and frowned. “Would you trust only one trap to work on Pinkie?”
The cyan pegasus started to prepare a comeback before she just paused and landed back on the ground and followed the group on hoof. “Alright, got me there.”
Starlight rubbed her still feverish head and groaned. “Let’s... just get started. The sooner we get this stuff down, the better.” The unicorn started to pull apart some kind of a cross between a gazebo and a floor net that she found the next room over.
Only for Rarity to step in and take over the task. “Darling, we can handle this. You, however, look like you’re about to collapse from that flu you’re still fighting.” She gently pushed the sicker unicorn back out of the room and smiled. “Go get some rest, you need it.”
“But--!” Another push silenced her as she started walking out of the room. “Alright, fine...”
Applejack chuckled and put a hoof on the passing unicorn’s shoulder. “Now don’t you worry none sugar cube. Once all this is said and done, yer not the one who’s gotta explain themselves to an angry alicorn.” The apple farmer shuddered at the thought. “Never thought I’d possibly be on this end of a rainbow laser. Usually, we're the one's firin' it.”
Rainbow hopped back into the air, giving a cocky puff of her chest as she rubbed a hoof against it. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”
Three sets of eyes trained on Rainbow as they stared in disbelief, but only the orange farmer found her words. “You just had to say that, didn’t ya Dash?”
“Ooo! I know! Pick me!” Pinkie popped out from behind a potted plant that was nearby Rarity, making her jump in surprise.
The poor mare tried to get her footing, only for the floor to roll out from under her and send her falling into yet another pit. “Not again!”
There was a splash from below, and Pinkie leaned her head down over the edge to look into the pit. “Hey, what’s that sticky white stuff down there?”
Rarity’s head slowly rose from the depths, her formerly poofy fur now matted down over her entirely unamused glare. “.... Ice cream. Melted, ice cream.”
Rainbow and Applejack shared a look before staring at their pink party pal. “When did you get back!?”
“Couple minutes ago when Twilight jumped through the portal and ran into the school going ‘Aaaah my friends all are in danger!’ and Starlight was busy holding onto Rainbow’s tail like ‘you’re not getting away coward!’ and Rainbow was going ‘I can’t let Twilight make me a statue again!’ and Applejack said ‘stop being silly get down here’ and then--.” A hoof in her mouth silenced her as she smiled with her eyes at Starlight, owner of the said hoof.
“Pinkie, I’m too sick to deal with this. Help them take down the traps. I’m going to get a nap.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!” With that, Pinkie began to pronk her way about the room, helping remove various doodads and gizmos.
Applejack, in the meantime, had lowered a rope down to help Rarity get out of the ice cream pit. “You okay there, sugar cube?”
The dripping white unicorn glared at everyone and everything. “Twilight owes me several hundred princess grade spa visits. Several. Hundred.”
No Rarity Twilight owns you nothing. What you did was uncalled for and Twilight should have left you in that painting and paraded you around Ponyville for all to see. I don't feel sorry for you and you are lucky that Twilight suddenly felt remorse and decided to be in a forgiving mood. I for one wouldn't have let any of them go until they all had been given a good tongue lashing.
Aww man, I wanted to see Pinkie getting caught
.....is it so wrong that I'm curious as to what Twilight actually planned for Fluttershy? Or was the yellow pegasus lucky enough to be "forgotten" in favor of the others, Pinkie being the very special case?
whelp another thing that killjoy glimmer has ruined for me, im out i came for the traps not whatever ....THIS is
8944136
are you surprised? its got killjoy glimmer in it also i second your comment i liked the story till glimmer ruined it
8944136
I think you are being a little too critical of Rarity here. What the ponies did was bad yes, however setting traps is not how a friend should react to anything. Especially if said traps won't be enjoyed by their intended recipients(long after the fact). Twilight has done stuff to the others that are far worse than what they did here, yet she didn't get a tongue lashing or anything of the sort. I'm not against Twilight but she gets far more positive treatment on here than the others (except for maybe Fluttershy).
Holding people against their will is considered a crime, so what you are saying is you would be committing a crime. Twilight has never made it illegal to go through the portal, she just requested that no one does so. She can't really hold them against their will since no crime was committed.
Although I at one point thought I knew where this fic was headed, but now I'm not too sure. I actually expected some sort of note from Sunset about Pinkie's Prank, and that would set Twilight off. Not sure why, but just thought she might still be a bit more unhinged.
Although don't know why the mirror gave them different clothes. Especially since we've seen Pinkie go through the mirror before, and meet the other Pinkie.
So long puffball Rarity.
Hello Twilight heart attack. We still have one more pony who was in on this whole fiasco: Princess Celestia
New chapter? MY LIFE IS FINALLY COMEPLETE!
I still think Pinkie should fall in a trap.
perfect just perfect
The ending of this chapter was hilarious. XD Oh, Rarity!
Pretty big disappointment that Pinkie avoided getting caught.
It looks like Twilight's being set up to fall in her own trap so I think I'm out.
8944653
I can guarantee that's not the case. Twilight's too smart to fall for her own traps.
As for Pinkie, I'm sorry that you were disappointed, butdid you really think Pinkie Sense would lose here? It is her most bizarre trait.
I do have to say I like this story a lot more than the prequel. I don't know if you meant for it to happen that way but when Twilight enchanted the door knob with the want it need it spell, it prevented Rarity from using her eye for detail to notice the trap. Again, I'm not sure if you meant for that to happen but I will think that you did. I personally enjoy the Starlight angle here too. Twilight does sometimes forget certain things are acceptable while others aren't and it is nice to see her getting caught before she fell down.
8944693
"Twilight's too smart to fall for her own traps"
...What was the ray gun supposed to do?
8945994
8945998
...Facepalms all the way, man.
8944297
Please refrain from being rude when you state your opinion. I don't know if you meant to, but please don't.
8944329
and disobeying the orders of royalty is a crime.
so is forging a permission note from royalty
and assaulting another person
and trespassing on crown property (sure the map table and library are open to them, but that room with the mirror is a restricted area)
also possibly causing an interdimensional incident
nope twi was well within her rights to apprehend the criminals that broke into her house tresspased in a restricted area, forged documents in her name and caused a diplomatic incident on foreign soil
is it wrong for an officer to arrest somebody who breaks the law no I think not
sure twi went a little overboard with the traps be she clearly designed them as to not cause physical harm so id rather take one of her traps than get piled on by about 7 cops
8946497
i.pinimg.com/736x/65/11/dc/6511dcb41d4f63cc234b8b4bfa4c858d--willy-wonka-funny-things.jpg
BUT please go on tell me how I was rude all I stated was that killjoy glimmer ruined the story for me.
did i insult the author, dont think I did
did i say the story is shit and tell the author to remove it, NOPE
considering the name of the story i came here to chuckle at twi flipping out and making elaborate but harmless traps to catch her friends before scolding them for going against her wishes
i think 90% of the people her came for the exact reason stated above
Killjoy Glimmer adds NOTHING to this story other than to add pointless drama to a funny little chuckle fic
to anybody that is upset with any of my comments on this story consider this my apology
i.ytimg.com/vi/s__3_wdq6bM/maxresdefault.jpg
8946564
...I'm sorry if I myself offended you in any way. I said that your comment sounded rude mostly because of this part of it-
Also, please know that comments like yours are the reason I am scared to death of posting any of my work and bothering to even try being myself, even if you weren't intending to be rude when writing it.
I'm sorry, but that's the truth.
8946535
The first 3 points you make are true. However the last two I don't know. It has never been stated that the castle has any off limit places. The last point is acting like the Equestria girls main 5 are all diplomats or something. They have nothing to do with government so no matter what it doesn't make any sense to consider it a interdimensional incident.
One other thing is that Twilight is not a cop, so she isn't really supposed to be holding anyone anyway. Even being Royalty, have you really seen her do anything royal? You seem to be putting too much emphasize on this causing a diplomatic incident, which is just silly. However I agree that traps are at the right level of non dangerous. Except for that laser gun thingy... we don't know what it is supposed to do but guns of any kind aren't really ….well...
Anyway back in the third chapter I did overreact and I was wrong in doing that. I was reminded of a story where Twilight imprisons Rarity in a pocket dimension for trying to confront Cheerlie about dating her sister. The pocket dimension had time distortion, so more time passed inside it. Twilight spent 2 month outside while Rarity was imprisoned inside a pocket dimension for 8 to 10 years. Twilight was never punished for the mental strain that it would cause to someone in real life. That was why I reacted poorly. The blank white picture frame that Rarity got trapped in sort of reminded me of it because of the possibility for mental strain.
Anyway, I do think this story is coming along much better than if it had gone down the "Twilight just keeps getting worse laying traps". Lets be honest here, Twilight wouldn't be able to hold back much longer and would have probably done something that could hurt someone if she had continued down the path of Rapidash Twilight.
8946766
shes still royalty even if she doesn't do anything royal her title is princess twilight she was crowned and sworn in by Celestia and Luna and of course, some of her castles is going to be off-limits for safety reasons if nothing else, the mane would have access to some areas but the mirror room wouldn't be one of them
8947253
Are you using the fact that Twilight here told them not to go or something? Why is the mirror room supposedly off limits? Twilight has never NEVER told anyone they couldn't go into the mirror room, as it seems to be actually part of the library...or a library....maybe she has multiple libraries? It is her castle... Anyway, I can't really say you are wrong with Twilight being royalty, but she wouldn't ever really try to hold anyone who violated a law like this. We do have to remember how she reacted with Starlight, someone who's actual actions did cause massive ramifications. Twilight is Royalty but she wouldn't abuse it.
Anyway, I agree that she is royalty but I don't think she would lock the castle up against her friends. Most of the town, most definitely, however her friends have free rein. Probably like how she does in their houses. She might be Royal, but she won't be chained down by the stereotypes of royalty! LIVE FREE MY BEAUTIFUL PURPLE MARE! LIVE BY YOUR OWN RULES! THROW OFF THE CHAINS OF THE MONARCHY!
sorry had to throw some jokes in there.
8947845
nah its fine also. I was sort of using common sense in the sense that you would keep an item like the mirror locked up to restrict people messing with it, as for her keeping it in the library again incredibly stupid move (if its like that in the show i wouldn't know as a haven't watched it since killjoy glimmer came along and became a main character )
my main point was the people scream that twi had no right to do that, technically she does
and would nobody be pissed if you told someone not to do something and they entered your house did it anyway
8913174
please don't use the wedding as an example. The episode literally before that had a moral that said not to jump to conclusions.... The wedding seemed very much like her not knowing how weddings usually go and jumping to conclusions with NO evidence. Like she ignored the very advice she gave to Pinkie that episode.
8947858
so you haven't seen Rarity shredding a guitar or going punk have you? I personally find hating a character to bothersome, especially if it causes someone to stop watching the show. I'm not really much of a hateful person. Like people have done things that I've told them not to, and I'm more like... "I told you not to do that." cause they end up getting hurt. Of course there are the times where people do something I've told them not to where they don't get hurt. I just feel disappointed more than anything after that though.
My main point is that she might have gone a little far, and never bring it back a little. I've read fics where that happens and it usually doesn't end nicely for her friends. She sometimes gets off scot free... the key word sometimes.... Especially when she actually hurts someone.
8947253
I'd say the comment train you left me would surprise me, but I read your bio so I can't. I have a feeling that if it had been Spike or anyone else, there would have been a slightly different reaction to 'The Killjoy' who verbally smacked some sense into Twilight's head. On another note, you do have several valid points, and they will be taken into consideration. However, I just can't help but feel like you forgot about one of the tags on the story.
Namely being: "Slice of Life"
The entire story isn't just me pulling comedy out of my rear for the fun of it. Was Twilight going ballistic funny? Absolutely, and the thought of it happening to someone other than me is something I find Hilarious. Would it just be the comedy in this one and Twilight gets away with it all scot-free? No.
Twilight is royalty like you said. That means she has to not only maintain the country but her image as one of the figureheads of the country as well. She subverts this by being "The Friendly Princess" who you can talk casually towards, true, but who would want to try to talk casual to a princess who would snap at a possible infraction of laws you weren't aware of and build an elaborate trap just to capture you? No one pony in this situation is absolutely innocent. Her friends will still see some retribution for all of the actions they took, and so will Twilight for going overboard in retaliation.
Of course, the comedy tag is still in there, so don't expect it to be the retribution you expect.
Also, I think you'd actually like Starlight's character development since she joined the cast. Your comments and her dialogue sound a LOT alike. You might even find her relatable after a bit.
8948351
nope cant stand her
I'm noticing an increasingly large number of assorted typos. "shuttered" instead of "shuddered," for example.
9479507
Ya know it's amazing just how much auto-correct screws things up. Thank you for pointing that out.
9479518
The last time I had auto-correct go off on me, it changed "auto-correct" to "auto-corrupt".
One wonders.