The perfect day continues
Depot Island grew ever-larger upon the horizon as they returned to port. Shining Armor, who had a sleeping filly on his back, took in the sights and the sounds, everything this experience had to offer. In the middle of the island was a shattered volcano, a caldera, a massive crater that formed a natural secure, fortified harbour for Equestria’s Royal Navy. The volcano of course, was long extinct. Two long spits of land protruded from both sides of it, with one half being for soldiers and the other for tourists.
There were other islands, keys as they were called, including one that was a bird sanctuary. Brave, enduring pegasus ponies made the long voyage to lead birds there to spend the winter, and they brought them home again come spring. Shining Armor knew a few pegasus ponies that had made the trip, a perilous journey where the only places to rest were islands hundreds of miles apart. One had to be an endurance flier of the highest calibre.
Cadance stood at the prow with Flurry just beside her, and Shining Armor turned his attention to them. They had been talking, a rare occurrence. Actual talking; not just Cadance speaking and expecting Flurry to listen; or Flurry shouting about how everything was unfair. He didn’t dare intrude, because peaceful discussion was so precious and rare these days. More and more, Flurry and her mother were at odds with one another, with him being trapped in the middle. It was awful, being expected to take a side. It seemed that no matter what he did, or how he tried to play the neutral intermediary, their ire was frequently turned on him.
When Dim chose the middle ground, ponies hemmed and hawed and nodded their heads, because it was expected of him. His neutrality was an asset. But when Shining Armor tried to take a neutral approach, it was typically unmitigated catastrophe. Everypony had something to say about how they were disappointed with him and expected better from him. Life just wasn’t fair—but he already knew that.
Shining Armor maintained his stoic silence as the port drew ever-closer.
The Bawdy Barsop was one of the oldest continuously operating publican houses and they had been in business for two-hundred and ninety-two years. They brewed their own beer, sold rum from the local distillery, and had a bronze statue of Princess Celestia in her resplendent admiralty regalia that dominated the common room. Upon seeing Princess Celestia in a tricorn hat, little Skyla shut down and froze in place, her eyes wide and almost unblinking.
Flurry on the other hoof, began reading the plaque that adorned the base of the statue, which told the tale of Admiral Celestia and her fleet of one-thousand ships. Cadance snapped a picture, because that's what tourists did. A brace of matchlock pistols butted out from beneath Celestia’s wings, and Shining Armor snorted at the ridiculous accoutrements. What need did Celestia have of pistols?
One hoof rested graciously upon a battered, beaten pegasus pony’s head, a pose that made Shining Armor wonder if Celestia regretted some of her past bloody conquests. She had since cleaned up her image; she now presented herself as the gentle, benevolent, kindly ruler—and not the blood-drenched admiral that was about to crush the head of her subdued enemy.
“Table for four,” Shining Armor said to the hostess.
“Right, we’ve got a table fit for royalty,” the hostess replied, winking. “Come with me.”
Skyla yawned, a sleepy sound, and then smacked her lips together a few times while having a look around. The wooden table had a map of Depot Island with highlights of all the touristy destinations. Flurry almost looked as though she needed a nap, but Shining Armor knew that she would get her second wind after a little downtime and a lot of food. Though it was cool in here, Cadance was fanning her face with her wing and Shining Armor thought that maybe, just maybe, his wife seemed a little pinker after being out at sea.
Hopefully sunburn would not be a problem.
Flurry Heart, her expression sleepy, turned to look at her mother to ask, “Why do we call it wheat meat?”
“Huh?” Cadance was caught off guard by the out-of-the-blue question posed by her daughter.
“Wheat meat.” Flurry made a waving gesture with her hoof and looked up at her mother. “Meat. Most ponies are vegetarians. We have a thing about eating meat. Sunburst calls it a taboo, a selective element of social shaming that society engages in to enforce established societal mores. If eating meat is shameful and wrong, then why do we have so many products that emulate it and are called meat?”
Cadance blinked, her eyelashes clinging to one another in worried panic. “Out of all the things you fail to pay attention to in school, this is what sticks in your mind?”
The filly considered her mother’s words for a time, took a deep breath, and shrugged. “Most of that stuff is boring as all get out. This seemed interesting. I don’t know why.”
Eyes darting from one to the other, Shining Armor listened, glad that Flurry and Cadance were speaking to one another as friends, a welcome return to their old relationship. Skyla seemed thoughtful and was now rubbing her chin. Cadance was still trying to recover from Flurry’s query. Seeing his wife in such a state after being caught off guard caused Shining Armor to chuckle, and he did nothing to hide his mirth.
“We have wheat meat burgers and wheat meat chicken and wheat meat chops and wheat meat chili con carne and all of these wheat meat versions of foods that other meat eating creatures eat. But if we’re supposed to be repulsed by meat eating and our society condemns it as a practice, then why do we have so many pretend meat products?” Flurry, looking rather lawyerly, pressed her front hooves together and appeared to rest her case while looking up at her mother.
“Well… I don’t know.” Cadance shrugged and then just sat there with a blank stare that was pointed in her daughter’s general direction.
“You just ordered a wheat meat fried chicken sandwich, Mom, with a side order of chili cheese fries—which also has wheat meat chunks as well as textured vegetable protein. Shouldn’t we be disgusted by all this meat?” Flurry was now more lawyerly than ever, appearing cool and calm.
“Daddy eats meat,” Skyla said to her sister. “For realsies. He’s a cannibal.”
“What?” Flurry’s head whipped around and she cast a doubtful look upon her smaller sibling.
Shining Armor felt a prickle of fear, already guessing what Skyla was about to say. “Skyla, darling, we shouldn’t talk about that.”
“One time, I walked in on Mommy and Daddy”—when Cadance groaned, Skyla continued, oblivious—“and Daddy was eating Mommy. He was chewing and biting her between her legs and she was crying and kicking and moaning and I thought he was hurting her. Turns out, she likes being eaten by cannibals.”
Cadance’s face was definitely a whole lot pinker now and so was Flurry’s. With a slow turn of her head, Flurry faced her mother and with her right eyelid twitching, she raised one eyebrow in a silent, shocked expression. Shining Armor took a moment to appreciate the bric-a-brac on the walls, old nets, anchors, seashells, the bones of sea monsters and the like.
A category four silence arrived, a deafening maelstrom that smothered all sound. Skyla was staring down at the table now, her hoof tracing over some touristy point of interest upon the map. Flurry Heart too, had discovered the fine assortment of bric-a-brac on the walls and was now studying it with keen interest. Cadance was fanning herself a little harder, a little faster, and from the looks of things, her ears were almost glowing from some kind mysterious burst of heat. As for Shining Armor, he was powerless against the storm of silence.
Gondolas carried ponies up the sides of the shattered mountain and near the broken peak, there was a lookout platform where one could see the entire island. It was also the place where one could ride the zipline. Said zipline terminated in Gallow’s Inlet, a place where the Royal Navy had once hung pirates and left them for the birds to pick clean. Now, Gallow’s Inlet was an ideal bungee jumping location and it was great fun to ‘get hung from the gallows.’ They even had souvenir shirts for the brave souls who took the plunge.
Shining Armor had insisted that he and his family wait in line like normal ponies, and now, tourists were busy snapping pictures while keeping a respectful distance. Cadance seemed a bit nervous, but was coping well, though she herded her daughters close and kept them near her long legs.
Due to safety concerns though, they would be getting their own gondola. As inconvenient as it might be, there was no sense in openly inviting trouble. Wary, Shining Armor stood watch, his eyes darting about, trying to spot potential ‘feather-seekers’ or those who believed themselves important enough to be owed a moment with the Royal Family. Shining Armor, though a dutiful guard himself, wished that Dim was here, because ponies naturally avoided Dim and gave him a wide berth. Sometimes, a contemptuous sneer was more advantageous than a legion of loyal guards.
The gondolas seemed to be moving at a glacial pace this day.
A steady, dragging wind tugged at Shining Armor’s mane and he gazed upon the tourist trap below him. Though distant, this was Equestria. As was the tradition, Equestrian soil had been brought here to be mixed with the island’s native volcanic soil. Beside him, Skyla appeared to be enjoying the breeze and her eyes were skyward. She seemed littler somehow at this moment, more foalish in some vague, incomprehensible way. On the other hoof, Flurry seemed older, more mature, but this could be because she hovered protectively near her younger sibling, looking anxious.
The platform was crowded. There were telescopes here that cost a copper bit for a peek. Vast sweeping panoramas could be seen at every turn, and Cadance was busy photographing them, wearing a pouty smirk while she tried to find perfect angles. Shining Armor’s senses were attuned to the crowd around him and his family; at least for the moment they were giving him some space, which was good.
“Daddy” —Skyla’s voice was little more than a whisper and quite difficult to make out— “there are a lot of pegasus ponies waiting for the zipline.”
“Does that surprise you, Sproglodyte?” Eyebrow arching, he glanced down at his daughter while she moved from the shelter of her mother’s legs to his own.
“Yes it does,” she replied as she brushed up against her father’s foreleg. “They’re pegasus ponies. They can fly. Why would they ride the zipline?”
“Not every pegasus pony can fly fast.” Shining Armor, feeling a tickle, paused for a moment when Skyla’s feathers grazed his leg. Smiling, he lowered his head and place his muzzle near his daughter’s ear. “Some pegasus ponies can hardly fly at all. Be careful with your assumptions, Skyla. As a ruler, ponies and other creatures will remember the sort of assumptions that you make.”
“So… some pegasus ponies can’t fly well, or not at all, but they still want to go fast, because pegasus ponies like going fast?” Sunlight glinted upon Skyla’s glasses and her face became solemn, thoughtful.
“That’s a pretty safe assumption,” Shining Armor said to his daughter, his words gentle. He gestured at the ponies gawking at them with his hoof and then gave his filly a soft nudge. “Those ponies waiting for a turn, those are ponies who want to go fast. Unicorn ponies, earth ponies, pegasus ponies, they all share something in common. Something that has brought them together. When one day you rule, you would be wise to search out the things that bring ponies together, and unites them with a common cause.”
“Oh.” Skyla’s soft gasp was almost lost in the sound of the crowd. “So I should find things that are good enough to stand in line for? They’re standing together and they all want the same thing.”
For now, Shining Armor decided to humour his daughter, because he felt this was a pretty good conclusion to reach. “Yes, Sproglodyte. If ponies will stand in line for it, there is unity to be had.”
“Dad, look,” Flurry said, pointing down into the caldera with her hoof. “Battleships. Floaty boats that go on the water.”
“Yes, Flurry. It takes a lot to keep an airship in the air. Sometimes, it is better to have a seafaring vessel.” Shining Armor glanced in the direction that Flurry was pointing and noticed that there were a lot of ships berthed, far more than he expected during wartime. Maybe they just needed maintenance and general upkeep, he didn’t know.
“I want one.” Flurry gazed with intense longing down at the floating fortresses and her eyes had the same ravenous, greedy look that appeared when Flurry saw ice cream. “I’d like to be a battleship commander. Dad, how long would you say that one really big ship is? It’s huge.”
“That one is about six hundred or so feet in length,” he replied. “And no, you can’t have one.”
“Aww.”
“Daddy, can I have a battleship?” Skyla asked.
“Sure thing, Sproglodyte.”
“Really?” Skyla looked both confused and hopeful, while her big sister stood fuming.
“You’ll look so cute playing with it in the tub,” he continued, delighting in Flurry’s seeming anguish.
“HAH!” Having crowed in triumph, Flurry fluffed out and then laughed at her sister.
“Since I can’t have a battleship, can I be with you when we finally get a ride on the zipline?” Tilting her head up, Skyla looked up at her father with pleading, filly eyes, which were dangerous things indeed.
“You bet, Sproglodyte.”
Now it was Skyla’s turn, and she stuck her tongue out at her sister. In response, Flurry frowned for a moment, but then the frown vanished and she started laughing again. For now, the two sisters—as different as night and day—were getting along. So long as the peace held, so long as the two sisters continued to abide by this seeming truce, the perfect day would remain perfect.
Shining Armor had high hopes.
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Wheat meat... chili... with meat?
Hnnnng my brain.
Gotta say, that is exactly as weird as it seems to be.
A bungee jumping spot at a place famous for it's past hangings?
Both genius and a bit crazy. Advertising must have a field day.
8923092
Shining Armor gets a shirt that says 'Well hung.'
8923109 Oh my god that's genius.
8923089
Fun fact. France recently made a ruling that any product not made of meat is not allowed to be called a “meat”. So no more vegaterian sausages, no tofu steak. Meat is meat, vegetables are not.
Play your cards right and you too can be a warrior admiral princess. Or maybe just get to have a fancy hat.
Sure.
8923109
Like a horse!
Shiny must've been pretty hungry, he ate a horse (out)!
Hm bit crossed that the argument on meat simulant eating got interrupted...
It's quite interesting..
You probably mean contemptuous
A lot of fake meat is made from soy beans
As to "why call it meat?" Probably Griffin influence by way of the Pegasi