The longest night ever
Shining Armor felt immense pleasure when he saw the joy upon Skyla’s face. She had her salad, an enormous one served in an oversized bowl shaped like a seashell. Even Flurry—now free of sand and seaweed—seemed happy with dinner. As for Cadance… she had put her work aside and was focused upon the meal, much to his relief. On the horizon, the sun was retreating and only the merest sliver of it was still visible. Nocturnal pegasus ponies swarmed overhead, squeaking and shrieking, finally free of the tyranny of the day.
With everypony content, Shining Armor had no pressing concerns, and this thoughts turned to those at home. “I hope Chartreuse is okay,” he said while stabbing a half of a hard-boiled egg with his fork.
“Aw, that’s so sweet of you to worry about your apprentice,” Cadance replied. Then, she paused, and a glimmer of thoughtfulness flashed in her eyes. Ears angling back, her head pushed forwards, and she leaned out over her own salad bowl. “Husband… what did you do to your poor apprentice?”
The smile that spread over Shining Armor’s face could only be described as ‘impish.’
“Before we left, I sat her down upon the throne and told her that she’s in charge until we get back.”
Whooping, Flurry Heart started to choke, and her eyes bulged in their sockets. Cadance pounded her daughter on the back with her hoof. Skyla, nonplussed, seemed to shut down and stared down into her pile of greens. Cadance smacked Flurry on the back hard enough to shatter the spine of any normal pony, and with a pained wheeze, the filly could draw breath again.
“You did what?” Cadance demanded, her eyebrows veeing.
“Oh, Chartreuse isn’t actually in charge, Sunburst and Dim are in charge—”
“But poor little Chartreuse doesn’t know that! You creep!” Cadance’s ears stood up, straight for a second, and then angled outward over her eyes. “What’s the big idea, doing this to your apprentice?”
“You sound like Gosling,” Shining Armor remarked, and then wished he hadn’t. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. Think of it as homework, Cadance. She’s getting a chance to find out what it is like to run an empire. She gets to negotiate trade agreements with Princess Celestia—”
“Auntie will do horrible things to Chartreuse!” Cadance whinnied once, twice, thrice, and then shook her head from side to side so hard that her cheeks jiggled. “I can’t believe you did this! That poor filly… Shiny, how could you?”
“Actually, I’m more concerned for Princess Celestia.” Shining Armor did his best to look serious while looking Cadance right in the eye. “If those trade agreements go sour, Chartreuse is bound to pull out that fireplace poker of hers and go into aggressive negotiations for the sake of the empire. A lot of Dim has rubbed off on her, for good or ill.”
All of Cadance’s bluster vanished with a lip-flappity huff, and then she said, “She’s got a mean streak a mile wide, that filly. Auntie… Auntie might be in some trouble. Chartreuse is so polite and unassuming, right up until the point where she isn’t, and then, at that point, it is too late. Flurry, are you okay?”
“Fine, Mom.” Flurry coughed once and then immediately began to stuff her face once more.
“I did what I did for a reason.” Shining Armor dropped the act and allowed his real feelings to show. “She’s my apprentice, and as her master, I feel that I am entitled to push her beyond the point of endurance to test her mettle. Sunburst and Dim will tell me how she did, and how often they had to step in. This is a test of responsibility, and if she passes, I will continue to keep testing until I find something that breaks her.”
“Shining Armor… that’s—”
“Necessary?” He waved his fork around and waited for Cadance to get over her initial shock. “When something breaks her, we’ll put her back together and test her again. She asked for this kind of life by coming to me. When we get done, we’ll have something exceptional.”
“Yeah, Dad can’t go easy on her just because she’s a filly—”
“Flurry, don’t talk with your mouth full.”
Rolling her eyes, Flurry swallowed and gave her mother a defiant glance. “Might I point out that Dad hasn’t even left me in charge? And I know why… I’d mess things up. I’m a disaster waiting to happen and we all know that. But Chartreuse? Father wouldn’t’ve done it unless he was confident that she was ready.”
Feeling proud, Shining Armor smiled at his daughter and gave her a nod. Flurry was learning… little by little, lump by lump, bruise by bruise, stitch by stitch, his daughter was gaining wisdom and insight into the way of things. Sure, Flurry had messed up the Crystal Cotillion, then there was the debacle with the ice orcs, plus the repeated instances of Flurry acting out, but then there were moments like this one where he saw signs that Flurry just might turn out okay. His pride became a fierce sensation and he felt as though his many years of hard work were just starting to pay off.
“One day, I will rule… but I am not yet ready.” Skyla lifted her head up and did her best to look dignified, yet humble.
Shining Armor wasn’t ready either; he still wanted a buddy for naps and to play with. It occurred to him for the first time how much he needed these things, and a growing lump lodged in this throat. Absent-minded, he speared some salad with his fork and took a bite, not even looking at what he was eating, unaware of his bounty.
It was, of course, difficult to swallow this bite.
Flurry’s wing slapped Shining Armor so hard that it left his ears ringing, and he almost dropped her into the toilet. Her entire body went rigid, her legs kicked out, and with a pitiful yeowl, she retched yet again, vomiting up the contents of her stomach with enough force that it bounced up out of the toilet bowl.
Everything that alicorns did was extraordinary, from sneezing, to vomiting.
Shining Armor knew why this was happening, because this always happened. Little Flurry Heart would go swimming in the sea and without fail, she would always swallow as much seawater as equinely possible. And this—this—was the result. Somehow, this part of the trip was always forgotten about, until it happened again, and then the memories would all come back in a terrible flood, just like right now. Flurry would be a miserable mess tomorrow, and as for the fun planned for tonight?
Well, that was called off.
The stink of failure smelled a lot like vomit and Shining Armor thought about what a terrible parent he was. How could he forget? Like an idiot, he had let Flurry gorge herself at dinner, eating salad, all kinds of tropical treats, and frozen sorbet. He had even seen her coming out of the sea, covered in seaweed, and somehow, he had forgotten. This was the pinnacle of parental failure, the crowning achievement of bad daddyism.
Flurry let out a gurgling croak and hot, steaming chunks of poorly chewed food spattered everywhere but in the toilet bowl. She choked for a moment, gagged, and when she didn’t breathe, Shining Armor began to panic. But Flurry cleared her nostrils with a mighty snort and shot salad greens mixed with tropical rainbow sorbet onto the ceiling.
No doubt, amnesia would claim this moment too, because it was too horrible to remember. Soon enough, everything would come shooting out of Flurry’s other end too, and this would be a long night indeed. And of course, all of this rested on his back, because a sick Flurry was a Flurry that wanted her daddy—not her mommy.
It seemed as though the worst was over. Hours had passed, dawn was only a few hours away, and Shining Armor was bone-tired. Flurry writhed in her bed, but remained asleep. She was sweaty, sore, and tomorrow, she would be cranky. It was difficult to move away from his daughter’s bedside, because she might need him again. Shining Armor yawned and used a simple spell to silence himself, fearing that he might wake of one of his sleeping treasures. Though it pained him, he tore himself away from Flurry’s bedside, and he crept away, making not a sound.
The yacht was silent, save for a faint thrumming hum that came from below. Shining Armor liked this sound, he found it soothing, and as was often the case, he wondered why he hadn’t gone into the Royal Navy. This life suited him—living on a ship suited him. At the door, he turned around, looking one final time at his two daughters. Flurry was in the bottom bunk, still twitching a bit, and Skyla was in the upper bunk. Even though she had napped, poor little Skyla was out before her head had even hit the pillow.
Beyond the door was the narrow hallway, a passage that Cadance called claustrophobic, but Shining Armor said was cosy. Of course, he didn’t have to duck his head to keep his horn from scraping the ceiling, so Cadance might’ve had a bit of a point. Of course, she also complained about not being able to stretch her wings, but who needed to stretch their wings in a hallway? That was silly. Cadance was silly.
When he came to his own cabin, he paused. Peering into the dark room, he could make out Cadance’s faint outline. She was a heap in the bed and at some point, she had turned all of the blankets and pillows into a nest. Papers could be seen scattered about, covering the floor, the bedside tables, and the bed itself. His wife had worked herself to sleep yet again, even on vacation. Frustrated and left angry about this, Shining Armor got his second wind.
Why was he angry?
He couldn’t tell.
Standing in the doorway, he sighed. The first day of his vacation had come and gone, and now the sun was about to rise on his second. He was exhausted, though wide awake at the moment, and the chances of him enjoying today seemed bleak at best. But of course, he would put on a brave face and make the most of it.
Staring at his wife, he tried to understand what vacations were to Cadance. After giving it some consideration, he arrived at the conclusion that vacations were a time when she could focus upon one singular task—just one—and devote all of her concentration to it. Upon having this realisation, Shining Armor understood how important this must be to her, because she was currently committing all of her brainpower to it, it was the singular task she had chosen to focus on for the entirety of their vacation. As for himself, he could barely even begin to understand the enormity of the problem.
“Daddy?”
Squeaky voice. Little. Scratchy. No doubt thirsty. Maybe scared.
“I had a nightmare.”
Backing out of the doorway, Shining Armor bumped his backside against the wall and then turned about to face his daughter, Skyla. Her horn was glowing, emitting a faint luminescence that made the tears in her eyes glisten. The little filly was trembling, her lips were quivering, and her nostrils flared wide with every breath she took.
“I know I’m not s’posed to come out of my room and that I’m s’posed to call for help, but I didn’t wanna wake Flurry.”
“It’s okay, Skyla,” he whispered.
“No”—her head shook and her ears drooped, hanging limp against her temples—“no, it isn’t okay, not at all.”
A sigh escaped Shining Armor and he knew without Skyla saying anything that she had an accident—something that happened sometimes when she had nightmares, though it didn’t happen often. It took extraordinary circumstances to get poor Skyla shook up enough to reach this state, such as a drastic change in routine, or a major disruption of her life. He didn’t dare say anything about what had happened, because doing so would cause an emotional detonation, the sort of shrieking nightmare that would wake up everypony and cause a panic.
“It’s okay,” he said again, trying his best to be reassuring. “Let’s get you into the shower and while you’re cleaning up in there, I’ll clean up your bed so nopony has to know anything about it.”
“My tail is messy… I don’t like it… I don’t like the feel of it. I feel gross and it makes me wanna cry.”
Advancing, Shining Armor went to where his daughter stood and couldn’t even smell the stink of urine. Tonight, he had smelled far worse things, for far too long, and his sense of smell had not yet recovered. Reaching out, he pulled his daughter close and pressed his muzzle against one of her fuzzy, twitching ears.
Normally, Sleet handled this sort of thing and Shining Armor felt as though he might have missed out on some important parenting moments. But the nanny hadn’t come on vacation—she was getting her own much needed vacation—and so Shining Armor found himself doing parental duties, which felt strangely satisfying. Sure, it was a few more hours till dawn, he hadn’t slept a wink, and he had spent most of the night already in the bathroom with Flurry while she squirted from both ends—but it could not be denied that there was a certain appeal to all of this.
It was the natural extension of being a big brother. When he was little, Twily had earaches, awful ones that made bitter earwax trickle down into her throat. He never minded sitting up with her, holding a glass of water for her, and trying to comfort her when she was downright miserable. The memory of it filled his heart with warmth.
“Come, little one, a shower will leave you feeling as right as rain,” he whispered into her ear. “I’ll change your bedding, and when you get done in the shower, we’ll go to the galley and see about having a few cookies or something.”
“Pancakes with chocolate chunks?” she asked, hopeful.
“Sure thing, Sproglodyte—”
“Daddy, we talked about you calling me that.”
“I never agreed to anything.” Pulling her closer, he kissed her, just behind her horn, in that spot that always made her squirm. “Now come with me, little one, and don’t trip in the dark.”
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Fixed that for you.
8911242
Best thing I never knew I needed
8911517
No.
Just alicorny.
Oh man, seawater tummy aches suck. WHen you're a kid you don't realize seawater is different than fresh water. I can't remember if it ever made me sick, but I remember accidentally sucking down a lot of seawater as a kid.
Shining strikes me as a pony who is only happy is they have a kid or two waddling about the homestead. Which is surrpising, honestly.
I'm worried about Skyla. A child shouldn't become so distressed by a change in routine that they wet the bed. What's going on?
8913166
OCD or something related perhaps?
This it sounds like a great character building experience for Chartreuse. I'm sure she'll be fine.
Cadance needs to have a vacation on her vacation.
Poor kids. Everyone needs to have a vacation on their vacation.
I'm guessing that her parents could have done without that manifestation of her special Alicorn powers. Also poor (messy and grossed out) Flurry.
Though of course, as an alicorn she's probably almost impossible to kill with poison. However, right now she may wish she was dead.
Believe me, I've known the feeling.
"one of" maybe?
I do not feel that 'creep' is an appropriate term for this instance. 'Jackass' might be better. Since Skyla knows FUBAR, and donkeys are people in this world, it's probably age appropriate.
Everyone actually seems to insist that it’s pretty awful. And I’m inclined to agree. Dealing with someone like myself for 18+ years? Sounds like a pain in the ass
I’m still going to shoot for fatherhood though so what the fuck do I know.
This, I would pay to see.
So, she's a salad shooter?