Toxic Love

by Silvermyr

1. Declaration of Love

Cadance licked her lips and preformed her signature breathing exercise. Breathe in… and breathe out, slowly. The guards outside the throne room doors looked at her, but she did not care. She had much more pressing thoughts in her head than the odd looks from a few guardponies.

It all had started when her daughter was born. A nagging, half formed thought in the back of her mind. It really did not matter at all back then. The small discomfort it gave her was drowned out thousandfold by her very own little bundle of sunshine, Flurry Heart. So, for many moons, she had been perfectly content just watching her filly explore and learn. Just watching Flurry play with alphabet blocks, or tumble around with her stuffed animas, or something as mundane as holding the small foal to her bosom as they were both going to sleep was enough to stave off any worry.

But in time the growing seed of uncertainty grew into something she could not look away from. It had received extra nourishment from something that had happened only a few days back. A Frost Wyrm, a type of beast native to the northernmost reaches in Equestria had accidentally wandered near the Crystal Empire. With magical control of cold, a Frost Wyrm was a dangerous creature and so it had to be deterred. Naturally, her husband had gone to oversee the operation.

It all had worked out just fine, until the Frost Wyrm had decided to be afraid of something, at which point the entire guard unit and Shining Armor suffered severe frostbite and several days in the hospital.

”Princess, can we help you, or…?”

Cadance’s ears twitched and brought her back to reality. She realized she must had spaced out just outside the throne room door. ”No, thank you. I’m just… thinking,” she said. Before she had the chance to postpone the inevitable any longer, she knocked on the door. Strictly speaking, she was equal to Celestia and Luna and did not need permission to enter the throne room. However, she was very aware that age difference between her and the elder alicorns was millennia, at least. She would never feel equal to any of them, and to just waltz into the throne room was nothing she could see herself do in a lifetime.

”Yes?” Celestia’s warm voice answered her knock. ”Come in.” Cadance did so and respectfully went up to the twin thrones where the royal sisters were waiting.

”Princess Celestia, Princess Luna,” she said and respectfully dipped her head to the both of them. Again, that was nothing she was required -or even expected- to do, but today she did not come as a fellow princess. Today she came as a worried mare and mother asking a huge favor from the sovereigns of Equestria. ”Thank you for seeing me.”

”Of course we will see you, Cadance,” Celestia said with a smile as warm and as wholesome as the sun she governed. ”You know you can always come to us, with any and all of your concerns.”

”I know, I know. It’s just… I’m not used to it, its all,” Cadance said. ”Anyway, I guess you have heard what happened a few days ago? With the Frost Wyrm?”

”We did, yes,” Luna said. ”Our admiration goes out to the unit which expelled it. Frost Wyrms are strong and unpredictable foes, and a challenge to all who faces them. We heard that captain Shining Armor himself was among the ponies facing it. Yet again he proves his valor and bravery.”

”I will make sure to tell him you said that,” Cadance said. ”But the reason I bring this up is not to fish for credit on his part, but because… well, it has gotten me anxious.”

”Are you worried about further wyrm attacks?” Celestia asked.

”No, that’s not it,” Cadance said. She bit her lip. Now came the hard part. ”It’s just that, as the Princess of Love, I can’t stop thinking about… about him not coming back some day.”

The other two alicorns sat silent, looking thoughtfully at her.

”He is still as healthy as always, but he isn’t getting any younger. And since I became an alicorn I hardly age at all any more.” The minuscule shift of Celestia’s posture revealed that she at least had figured out where this was going. Cadance swallowed and continued. ”Eventually… I will have to outlive him and… and I can’t stand the thought of it. I can’t stand the thought of being alone after him, and that Flurry too must outlive her father!”

”We… know, Cadance,” Celestia said carefully. ”I cannot claim to understand what you are going through, but we understand your fear.”

”But isn’t there anything you can do?” Cadance blurted. Months of repressed worry came rushing to the surface. ”Can’t you do something for him too?”

”Do something?” Luna asked. ”Just what are you asking us to do?”

”Well…” Cadance fidgeted under Luna’s gaze. ”You have made me an alicorn, and there is no doubt Shining Armor has done more than me to deserve it… so… so maybe you could let him ascend too?”

”No,” Luna said. ”We will not.” Celestia sat silent, a pained expression on her face.

”But… but why?” Cadance asked lamely, a minor panic attack growing in her heart. ”Surely he is worthy! He has done-”

”His worth is not in question,” Luna said, stoic and cold as the moon. ”However, this recent creation of many alicorns has been…” she glanced at Celestia, who sighed and gave a small nod. ”...Has been foolish on my sister’s part. While the ramifications are not yet fully understood, the ascension of any pony in out of the question.”

”Why?” Cadance asked again. ”If you could make me an alicorn, surely you can make Shining Armor one too?”

”Cadance,” Celestia spoke, softly. ”As of late my sister and I have felt something. A shift in Equestria’s magic. The start of this phenomenon correlates all too well with your daughter’s birth to be a coincidence. Magic itself fundamentally revolt against alicorns; we are simply to strong for the balance of magic to handle.”

”Balance of magic?” Cadance asked. She did not understand this subject; she was not really a mage.

”Think of it like a pit in the ground,” Luna said. ”If a ball is placed on the edge, it will roll down if the slopes are steep enough. We alicorns are like the pit and the ball is magic. Magic is attracted to us. With the creation of many alicorns, the pit becomes steeper. More and more magic is slowly gravitating towards Equestria.”

”And… that’s bad, right?”

”Wild magic is an unpredictable and dangerous phenomenon, nearly unheard of since Discord was turned to stone. However, during his reign, wild magic was rampant in our land, causing untold chaos and devastation.” Celestia said.

”We are still investigating the effects of five alicorns, but no other pony will ascend for the nearest century, while the magical field is monitored.”

”Century! But- but Shining Armor will be dead before that!” Cadance stammered. ”There must be something you can do about this! Twilight is the Element of Magic! Surely she can do something about this, right!? Or Discord!?”

”We will not attempt to manipulate the very fabric of Equestria through untested means for the life of one pony,” Luna replied. ”We are alicorns, the welfare of our land stands above any one pony, be him a beggar or a prince. Your future loss is regrettable, young one, but there is nothing that can be done about it.”

”But… but…” Cadance looked desperately at Celestia, her mentor, second mother and friend for life. ”You can’t let him die…”

Celestia sighed and hung her head. ”My sister is right. I cannot intervene, however much I want to.”

”But can’t you just extend his life? Not make him an alicorn, but just extend his life? For Flurry’s sake?”

”No!” Luna said, her voice shockingly loud and somehow echoing. Her eyes seemed to burn as she glared balefully at Cadance, who covered slightly for the agitated pony. ”Such magic is one We shalt never touch. Tis an abomination, mockery of all that magic otherwise is! Thou should be ashamed, fellow princess, for even suggesting such a heinous act!”

”Luna.” Celestia put a hoof on Luna’s shoulder and stared sternly at her sister. ”Sister, I share your sentiment, but remember who you are talking to.”

”I… no, I’ll just leave,” Cadence said meekly. She had made Luna upset with the last request, though she did not understand why. There was nothing more that could be done now, not with Luna as agitated as this. She nodded to the two elder alicorns and left the throne room with her head hanging low and her ears plastered against her skull, defeated.

She made it halfway up the stairs to her chambers before the first tears pooled in her eyes and the first sob made it past her lips.

---

”Cadance?”

She recognized Celestia’s worried tone. There was no point in asking why she was worried; Celestia probably knew that she had spent the last four hours up in this room quietly crying for the lonesome, desolate future she would be condemned to.

She knew she was being silly. She knew she had many happy years left with the stallion she loved, and that she would make memories to last her forever in those years, but it did not help. She was the Princess of Love, living archetype of the most powerful emotion of all. Just as her entire being was suffused with the greatest of love, just as much did every fiber of her being hurt at the mere thought of leaving that love behind. She was love. It was part of her as much as her wings or horn. She could not live without it, as little as she could live without her lungs or heart. So she cried.

”Y-yes?” she answered Celestia. ”Come in.” She did not even bother to dry her eyes. She knew that Celestia knew she had been crying, so what was the point?

Her mentor’s golden magic opened the door and Celestia went up and hugged her. Cadence hugged back. It felt nice to have somepony just holding her. ”Cadance, we must talk. I must say how truly sorry I am for you… and I need to explain Luna’s behavior too, if you would let me. Please, do not hate my sister. She is just doing what she thinks is right, though it must be hard for you to see.”

”Why was she so…” Cadence mumbled into Celestia’s velvet wing. ”What did I say to upset her like that?”

Celestia sighed. ”Cadance, this is not an excuse, and Luna went overboard when she used the Royal Canterlot Voice, but I think you scared her greatly.” Celestia guided Cadence to the bed and they laid down beside one another, as they had many times in the past. ”You have to understand that Luna does not know what to make of you. When she returned from the moon, she was stunned to find another alicorn beside her and me. To her, that was something… so alien she could not comprehend it. Even after I explained all the things you have done to achieve this status, she… just doesn’t know you. She does not know where your moral barrier is.” Celestia was quiet for a moment and looked into Cadance’s eyes. ”You don’t know why life extension is so horrible, do you?”

Cadence shook her head and Celestia nodded, as if she just had her suspicion confirmed.

”The only pony who have done that was King Sombra. He managed to use his dark magic to extend his life. We don’t fully know how, but Luna thought you wanted to do the same. Luna saw an alicorn asking to use dark magic, and she was afraid. It does not excuse her outburst, but I felt you should know why she acted like she did.”

Cadence nodded numbly. This felt like a glass of water being poured onto a forest fire. It helped, but not substantially. Shining Armor was still going to die. What Luna thought or not hardly concerned her at this point.

”If you want, I can stay here for the evening,” Celestia said sadly. ”Luna will be taking over my duties for tonight.”

”I think I would like that, yes,” Cadance said. She already knew it would not help.