One Last Chance
Between revealing the caller’s identity to Rarity and pushing open the door to the atelier, Twilight briefly wondered if a call by Discord was better or worse than one by Celestia. Probably better, she admitted, but not by much.
She strode into the atelier as if she owned the place. Her friends and Rarity’s sister immediately stopped whatever antics they had been up to and turned to face her, having sensed that she was not in the mood for silliness. “What’s wrong?” Trixie asked.
Twilight dragged a low table into the middle of the room with a spark of magic and slammed her phone on it. “Phone call.”
“Well, I can see that, but-...” Trixie glanced at the name on the screen and immediately covered her mouth to hold back what likely would have been a curse.
“Sweetie,” Rarity whispered even as her guests gathered around the table, “we should probably leave them alone for a little bit.”
Twilight opened her mouth, then closed it again. She just witnessed you at your lowest point. She probably needs to get away from the crazy for a while. But... She froze when she realized that she had raised her hand as if trying to grasp Rarity’s hand. Crap! She quickly lowered it again.
Rarity frowned briefly, then nodded at her sister. Even Sweetie was able to read Twilight like an open book and quickly left the atelier on her own. “Thank you,” Twilight whispered when Rarity came to her and let her wrap her arms around her waist.
“I’d make a snarky comment,” Trixie whispered, “but given that you’re about to banter with Celestia, I-”
“It’s Discord,” Twilight interrupted her, and Trixie’s soft smile turned into a scowl.
“What the hay does he want?” she hissed, seemingly contemplating to chuck the phone through one of the atelier’s windows. Possibly without opening it first.
“I suppose there’s only one way to find out,” Twilight muttered and pressed a button on the screen.
“-n’t care about your phone bill,” Discord’s voice came through the loudspeaker. “You own a record label, surely you can-... Hold that thought.” He cleared his throat. “Miss Sparkle!”
“Discord,” Twilight hissed, even as she realized that Celestia was probably listening in on the call. One crisis at a time. “You’re on loudspeaker. The band’s all here.”
“I expected nothing less from you,” the draconequus practically purred. “Probably spending your every waking minute on practicing for your big day.”
We should be. Twilight shoved the thought aside. “What do you want?”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” He chuckled quietly. “Always so blunt and to the point.”
“Make it quick; my wine is getting cold.”
Every single pony in the room gave her a bewildered look.
“That’s... not how wine works,” Discord commented after a slight pause.
“That’s how thermodynamics works!” Twilight countered, unwilling to concede that she had sounded like an uncultured punk. This wouldn’t have happened to Rarity.
“Well, I was never one to turn down a stupid request, so, before your wine gets cold,” he sneered, making Twilight grit her teeth, “let me cut to the chase. I have called... to make you an offer.”
Twilight exchanged quick, puzzled looks with her friends. “Let me guess,” she attempted to cover her confusion with idle banter, “it’s an offer I can’t refuse?”
Discord chuckled. It was a perfect, grim chuckle. The kind of chuckle perfected throughout decades, maybe even centuries of practice. “Oh, I certainly hope so, Miss Sparkle.”
Hang up! Snap the phone in half! Twilight suddenly remembered why Trixie had insisted on keeping their entire negotiation solely in writing: Discord was a master manipulator, and he had talked more experienced ponies than her into accidentally signing absolutely disgusting deals. Probably. Maybe. “Well, you have our mail address, so-”
“One hundred thousand.”
Twilight froze in the middle of her dismissive handwave. Even Big Macintosh did a double-take. “Beg your pardon?”
“Ah, I suppose I should just send you a mail,” Discord teased her. “You are right. Goodnight, Miss-”
“Hang on.” Twilight put the call on hold again. “Vote time,” she muttered. “Trixie rightfully argued that it’s a mistake to let him talk. And this is quite obviously a trap. But...” She ran a hand through her mane.
Trixie raised her hand. “If he went through the trouble to borrow Celestia’s phone on the off-chance that you still got her number stored, I think it’s fair to presume that this is more than his usual trolling. Also, I admit that he successfully baited me with that ominous number. I think we should hear him out.” She shrugged before extending her index finger and pointing it menacingly at Twilight. “But no solo acts. We vote on any decision.”
Twilight nodded, relieved that she wasn’t the only one who wanted to hear more. “All in favor?”
“Aye,” Big Macintosh and Octavia confirmed the vote along with Trixie and Twilight.
“Thanks.” She took a deep breath and pushed a button on her phone again. “A hundred thousand what?”
“Ohhh, did you do your band voting thing?” Discord asked, and Twilight could practically hear his toothy grin. She wondered if she had made the right decision. “How exciting!”
“A hundred thousand what?” Twilight repeated her question.
“Bits.” Discord feigned a yawn. “A hundred thousand bits. Per pony. In advance. Three albums in one year, standard royalties.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped. “...are you offering us a record deal?”
“You’re a talented musician, Miss Sparkle. One would hate to see you squandering your talent by engaging in mindless, organizational paper-pushing.”
Twilight gave the phone a long, hard stare. “Huh,” she finally muttered before clapping her hands once. “Voting time! All in favor of betraying our band’s founding principles by selling out our independence to a guy who will discard us the moment the numbers don’t add up anymore-”
“I sense a slight bias in the way this vote is-”
“-SAY AYE.”
Twilight gave a phone a smirk when the room remained dead silent, ignoring that Discord wouldn’t be able to actually see it. The draconequus merely sighed. “You’re an intelligent mare, Twilight, but you lack wisdom.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow at his sudden shift to her first name. “You can’t possibly have expected us to just sell out the band,” she muttered. “So that leaves the question of why you even tried in the first place.”
“You may speculate about my motives all you want,” Discord non-replied, “but allow me to say that I was sincere in what I said.”
“You can be sincere while withholding information,” Twilight said. “We both know you didn’t just randomly offer to buy the band out of the goodness of your heart.” She frowned. “Especially since you don’t run a regular, mainstream label.”
“I indeed do not. However, I am a manager and coach for outstanding talents and act as label and publisher. I may not have dozens or hundreds of artists on my list, but I have the best ones.”
“...you have one,” Trixie pointed out lazily.
“Name one currently active artist or band better than Fluttershy,” Discord snapped. “I’ll wait.”
Trixie and Twilight exchanged quick smirks. “Well, that makes the question all the more interesting, doesn’t it?” Twilight teased him. “Are we really the second-best act on the planet?”
“Definitely second to Fluttershy,” Discord muttered, then quickly cleared his throat. “Anyway. While you undoubtedly waste precious energy on trying to discern-”
“We won’t.”
Twilight turned to face Vinyl with almost enough speed to give herself whiplash.
The young conductor was lazily resting her hand on Octavia’s shoulder and gave her an equally lazy shrug. “Your motivation is obvious. The real question is why you want to go there.”
Discord somehow managed to audibly narrow his eyes. “If you think you can bluff your way into making me-”
“You want to cancel the band battle,” Vinyl said, having obviously waited for him to speak just to get to interrupt him again. “One of the big things a manager gets to do is organizing concerts and events. Why else would Discord, Fluttershy’s manager, offer to buy Villian Court?”
There was a long pause as everypony stared openly at her. Finally, Discord chuckled. “Well, well, well, and here they say that getting a higher education doesn’t pay off.”
Twilight gave the phone a wide-eyed look. “You want to cancel the band battle?” She blinked. “You want to cancel the band battle?”
“Of course not.” He snorted dismissively. “But I want you to cancel the band battle.”
“Same thing.”
“Not in terms of who would be losing face, Twilight,” he lectured her.
“Fair,” she conceded. “Still, you’re willing to throw almost half a million bits at us just to have the band battle canceled?”
There was a long pause. Maybe Discord was considering the error of his ways, or maybe he was cursing himself for confirming Vinyl’s hunch. Just when Twilight wanted to check if he had maybe hung up without her noticing, he sighed. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“That doesn’t concern you.”
They exchanged looks. Then, Big Macintosh leaned forward. “Afraid of losing?”
“Afraid of-” Discord did an audible double take. “Afraid of losing? Me?”
“Nothing to be ashamed of,” Trixie happily poured gasoline onto the fire, “we’ve been on a roll lately, so-”
Discord’s harsh laugh cut her off. “The only roll you’ve been on, child, has been downhill.”
Twilight was grinning ear to ear. “No, no, she makes a good point. Our next EP is in the works, and-”
“Oh, get lost!” Discord snapped with more ferocity than even Twilight had expected. “You don’t have to be a draconequus to be able to see the future! You-”
Octavia frowned at that. “I’m fairly certain you can’t-”
“DON’T INTERRUPT ME, MISS MELODY!”
Twilight blinked. On the one hand, Trixie had advised them early on that tag-teaming and needling would be effective - if somewhat cheap - tactics to be used in verbal stand-offs. On the other hand, Twilight was starting to doubt if this really was the best tactic to employ against a potentially ancient and all-powerful being. Discord’s true power had always been the subject of discussion in the press and parts of the populace (at least back in the day when he had been a pop star), and he had always kept people guessing. Still, the consensus was that he was old and not someone to anger, much like his two former bandmates. Draconequus magic was different from regular unicorn magic, with less clearly defined borders or limits. She gulped.
“You,” Discord hissed after having taken a few deep breaths, “are going to lose. All of you know that. You have some talent, but in terms of skill, you wouldn’t even qualify to be the opening act to Fluttershy’s opening act.” He lowered his voice menacingly. “I have seen better bands than yours stumble, fall, and collapse after losing less unfair battles. You will be laughed out of the concert hall. You will be openly mocked on social media. Your ticket sales will nosedive, and after a few weeks, not even the most desperate hole-in-the-wall venue will let you play.”
Twilight swallowed hard. She had considered this worst-case scenario in her weaker moments, but actually hearing somebody with more experience than her confirming it in front of her friends hit her hard. “I-”
His laugh was short and cruel, but in a way, she was glad that he had cut her off - she wouldn’t have known how to actually finish that sentence, anyway. “You know I’m right, Twilight Sparkle. You have known this truth for weeks, and you have never dared to tell your friends. Didn’t your parents tell you that a lie by omission is still a lie?” His mood was seemingly improving, but he was still obviously annoyed. “I know your kind. The prodigy who keeps reaching for the stars and who will always blame somepony else for their downfall.”
“Th-that’s not-”
“You blamed Celestia for your temper tantrum-”
Applejack leaned closer to the phone. “Now wait jus’ a-”
“-AND YOU WILL BLAME FLUTTERSHY FOR DESTROYING YOUR BAND’S FUTURE!” He sighed. “Or maybe you will blame one of your bandmates? You gave it your best, of course, but what about the others? I’m sure you will find somepony to pin the blame on. You’re good at that.”
You blamed Celestia for your temper tantrum. Twilight felt reminded of her talk with Rarity just now, even as she was staring so hard at the phone that she barely saw anypony else. Her brain knew that Discord was just doing his own version of needling her, but the problem was that he wasn’t telling her anything she hadn’t told herself at one point or another. She was no stranger to self-doubt but hearing somebody else confirming it made it feel infinitely more real. And now, the ugly voice at the back of her head simply had to whisper three small words: He is right. “I-”
“And once your band splits up, you will lure some new victims in to help you reach for-”
He was interrupted by the loudest yawn since that one failed CLD concert at the Canterlot Sleep Disorders Research Center.
“-...who was that?”
Twilight blinked as if waking up from a confusing dream. Then she blinked again when she realized where the yawn had come from.
“Goodness,” Rarity said and grimaced. “Does this person ever stop talking?”
“Who. Was. That?” Discord was seething.
“This is-” -my marefriend? Just friend? Rarity? Twilight realized that five seconds into recovering from Discord’s verbal broadside was absolutely not the right time to ponder her relationship status.
“Twilight’s plus one,” Big Macintosh muttered, hitting an excellent and neutral way of phrasing it.
“Well.” Discord huffed before changing verbal gears. “I’ll say, where are my manners? Or yours, for that matter? To not even introduce me properly! The name is Discord, Miss...?”
“Nunya,” Trixie immediately cut off any reply Rarity had been about to give, looking extremely serious and focused.
“...romantic plus one?” Discord purred, sounding oddly amused. “Or just a new weightlifting buddy?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Octavia purred back.
She sensed that Discord’s words caught me off-guard, she realized while her friends were deflecting Discord’s advances and couldn’t help but smile. She will have my back. All of them will.
“Well,” she announced, trying to sound relaxed, “you made your offer; we shot you down. Unless you have anything constructive to add, I’d say there is no point in continuing this call.”
There was a moment of silence. Finally, Discord huffed again. “Fine, I never wanted to be your manager anyway.”
“Feeling’s mutual,” Twilight shot back. “So... have a great-”
“So I’m going to resort to measures more fitting of the likes of you.” Discord wasn’t screaming. He didn’t even sound angry. “No contract. No obligations. One hundred thousand bits. Per pony.” He paused for effect. “Including your plus ones.”
Twilight’s eyes went wide with shock. “Do you-”
“And all I want is for you to call off the band battle and never mention to anybody that this call ever happened. I don’t even care what excuse you make up, as long as it doesn’t involve Fluttershy or me.”
The room went dead silent, and Twilight realized that all eyes were on her. The expressions around her were ranging from surprise to shock, with herself falling into the latter category. “You... literally want to throw money at us to make us go away?” she asked slowly, as if to confirm that she hadn’t misunderstood his offer.
“Indeed,” he confirmed. “A simple, stupid bribe. Say yes, send a message to your fans that dear Miss Lulamoon broke her hand, enjoy a tenth of a million and a reputation that has not tanked.”
“Well, now I really want to know why you’re so desperate to get rid of us.” She crossed her arms and gave the phone an expectant look. The camera, of course, wasn’t turned on (or pointing at her), but she half expected Discord to somehow sense her look, anyway.
“I’m sure a hundred thousand bits will take care of your over-eager curiosity,” Discord once again evaded the question. There was some noise, and then she could hear his breath through the speaker as he put the phone as close to his lips as possible. “I want an answer, Princess Twilicorn, and I want it now.”
The words made Twilight twitch, but she had thankfully burnt through her entire adrenaline during the last hour or so, so she just gritted her teeth. I need to make a decision. Goodness, this is a tough call. Part of her wanted to accept it. The insane amount of money aside, Discord had made a good point: band battles were primarily decided by the audience’s opinion, and Fluttershy’s fans had likely gobbled up nearly all of the non-VIP tickets the moment the sale had started. Barring a miracle, we’re going to lose this. So why not bow out while we still can? She tried to look up at her friends for silent confirmation... but realized that she couldn’t. It took her a moment to identify the feeling that was stopping her, but she quickly realized that it was shame. It would be a lie. I would be lying to my fans. And every bit on my bank account would remind me of that fact. She opened her mouth to tell Discord her decision... but then she remembered something else. “We need to vote on this,” she whispered.
Discord groaned but didn’t even bother to articulate his protest further.
“Trixie, you’re better with formulating our votes.” She finally looked up at her friend. “So I’m leaving the phrasing to you.”
“Thank you.” Trixie bowed her head a bit, then thought about it for a second. “I believe that, since this decision will also affect the others, they should have a say in this as well. So I’m first putting up a vote that the vote after that will require the votes of our plus ones. Furthermore, I would encourage every pony to put forth their reasoning. Beyond that, the usual rules apply, so the decision will have to be unanimous or the vote falls flat.”
Holy... this is going to be a nightmare of a vote. Twilight wanted to protest but found herself nodding. But it’s fair, I suppose. With that much money on the line, I would like to hear where everypony is coming from.
“All in favor?”
Twilight raised her hand. “Aye.” She smiled when she saw that Trixie, Octavia, and Big Macintosh had done the same.
“Perfect. Then here is what we will be voting on.” Trixie got to her hooves and pulled her hat out from under her cape. She put it on and gave the seated ponies her best stage grin. “I’m putting up a vote to say NO to Discord and his stupid bribe. Instead, we will head to the band battle and CRUSH all those who dare to oppose us!”
Twilight wheezed. That’s the wrong way to put up the vote! ...or is it? I mean... now a single dissenting vote will mean that we will take the bribe! On the other hand, phrasing it the other way around would have meant that a single vote screws everybody out of their money...? Oof...
Trixie cleared her throat. “Aye,” she announced. “The Great and Powerful Trixie still owes a lot to Twilight, so for better or worse, she shall follow Twilight’s lead wherever the journey will take her!” A pause. “Also, Trixie assumes that explaining a bribe of a hundred thousand bits to the tax offices would lead to uncomfortable questions.”
“Heh.” Octavia got to her hooves as well. “I did not join this band to get rich. Twilight showed me that making music can be fun and that playing the cello does not limit me to classical music.” Her friendly smile turned into a smirk. “Also, I love to annoy stuffy authority figures, so there. Aye.”
Vinyl lazily held up her hand a let Octavia pull her up. “I already put my principles and loyalties ahead of financial gain when I quit my cushy job. If you expect me to throw all of that away, you really don’t know me. Aye.”
“Aye.” Big Macintosh shrugged. When Trixie gave him a glare, he sighed and got to his hooves as well. “It’s just a hundred thousand. If I cared about some chump change like that, I would’ve stayed in the family business.”
“Yeah, what he said,” Applejack snapped even as she got up. “This band’s what’s keepin’ us together, an’ we’re not gonna jump the moment some pretentious idiot waves some money at us. Especially not one who won’t even say why he’s wantin’ us to bow out in th’ first place! Aye!”
“I suppose it’s my turn.”
Twilight blinked and looked at Rarity. Of course. We explicitly introduced her as my plus one. And now the mare I yelled at just before can get a crazy amount of money with a single word. She stared straight ahead even as Rarity freed herself from Twilight’s hug. The others are loyal to me to a fault for a variety of reasons. Where does she stand? I think she loves me, even if she’s still “evaluating” things, but... a hundred thousand bits is a fantastic offer. Especially since this house hints at a more extravagant lifestyle.
“I always dreamed of making my first million before hitting thirty.”
Oh, no...
“A hundred thousand could get me a large boutique in the heart of Canterlot! Or a slightly smaller one in Manehattan or maybe even the Crystal Empire. Ohhh, what a boost to my career this would be!”
“Indeed, and-”
“But I would never build my empire on top of a dirty bribe,” she cut off Discord, and Twilight gave her a surprised look. Rarity smiled down at her, and for a moment, Twilight felt reminded of that fateful moment when she had first spotted this beautiful mare in the crowd. “I’m not sure where your journey will take you, darling, but I won’t be the one to derail it. Aye.”
Twilight wanted to thank her, to tell her she loved her, to say anything at all, but right now, she had to put the final nail in this coffin. “Well, there you have it, Discord. Go to Tartarus and shove your money someplace the sun has never touched. AYE.”
There was a long silence, which the band members used to give each other quick thumbs-up signs. Finally, Discord sighed. “Been there, done that,” he muttered before clearing his throat. “Like I said before - you lack wisdom, Twilight Sparkle. And very soon, you will look back to this call, and you will-”
“Goodbye, Discord,” Twilight interrupted him and reached for her phone.
“You know,” he said, shifting gears with enough ease to suggest that this one time, he had seen the interruption coming, “it just occurred to me that you never had a chance to scout out the location and do a proper soundcheck.” He allowed himself a grim chuckle. “So why don’t you come over to the concert hall tomorrow at noon? We’ll do a little practice run. A dress rehearsal, if you like.” She could almost hear his grin widening. “So you can fully realize what you have gotten yourself into.”
Twilight crossed her arms. “We’ll have to-...” She blinked when she realized that he had hung up already. “Crap.”
“Well, gosh and howdy,” Applejack finally muttered, consciously leaning into her stereotype. “A duel at high noon!”
Yeah. A duel. Those tend to end with one side bleeding out on a dirt road. Twilight grimaced and sat down on the floor again. “Trixie,” she whispered, “please tell me that I did the right thing.”
“You didn’t do anything,” Trixie corrected her and crossed her arms. “We voted on everything except the last point, and we technically didn’t agree to that last point, so...” She shrugged.
“...should we agree?” Twilight tried and failed to keep the doubt out of her voice. “I mean... should we show up?”
There was a long pause. Finally, Octavia raised her hand. “We’re not going to back out of the band battle, and we’re as prepared as we’ll ever be, so we might as well see what Discord has cooked up. Aye.”
“Better than worryin’ for the next few days about what might happen.” Big Macintosh raised his hand. “Aye.”
“Yeah, it’s like waxing your legs - just rip it off quickly to get it over with. Aye.” Trixie raised her hand as well, then frowned when everypony was staring at her. “...what?”
“Fine, I suppose you’re right.” Twilight raised her hand and nodded, even if she didn’t feel great about it. “Aye.”
A pair of hands on her shoulders nearly made her jump, but Rarity either didn’t notice or forgave her without mentioning it. “You were amazing, Twilight,” she whispered into her ear.
“You’re the one who turned down the easiest hundred thousand bits in the history of Equestria,” Twilight said, trying not to giggle at the way Rarity’s voice sent shivers down her spine.
“I suppose I did,” Rarity mused and gently draped her arms over Twilight’s shoulders. The warmth of Rarity’s chest on her back was nearly enough to make Twilight lose her focus. “But I stand by what I said. And I have faith that you will win this.”
Yeah, right. Twilight got up and started to pace, ignoring Rarity’s protests. A distant part of her wanted to point something out, but she ignored it. “Win it... win it... oof.”
“Errr, Twi?” Trixie asked and waved her hand sheepishly.
“Not now!” Twilight snapped. “I’m thinking. I suppose we can win this, but... it’ll be tough. We need to hit every single note. Full focus.”
“Speaking of focus,” Vinyl tried, but Twilight brushed her off as she paced past her.
“Full focus,” she repeated, “and pitch-perfect delivery.” She shook her head. “I know it’s been a long day, but we should probably get some more practice in.”
“Could you-”
“Et tu, Big Mac?” Twilight cut him off. “Look, I know it’s just a rehearsal, okay? But this stuff is important. It’s our chance to show Fluttershy that we mean business and that we’re not just a bunch of pushovers. And-”
And then, several things happened in rapid succession.
The chime of the doorbell - a sound Twilight was by now quite familiar with - made her whirl around, shattering any impression that she was calm, collected, and in control of her nerves.
From there, physics took over in a rather unexpected way, causing Twilight to simultaneously stumble and choke as a pair of arms suddenly tightened around her neck and pulled her backward with full force.
She crashed onto her back but thankfully landed on something soft. “Ow.”
“Yes,” a muffled voice came from somewhere under her, “ow indeed.”
Twilight’s eyes widened when her brain finally filled in the blanks: Rarity put her arms over my shoulders and didn’t let go when I got up. I’ve been wearing my kinda-sorta-maybe-hopefully-marefriend like a cape. She frowned. And then I fell onto her. Her frown deepened. And I have puzzled all of this out while still lying on top of her.
“Heh,” somepony commented, making Twilight crane her neck.
“...you,” she hissed at the multicolored mare, who was holding a whole stack of pizza boxes for some reason.
“I always figured you’d be on top in this relationship,” Rainbow Dash elaborated and smirked.
It had been several minutes since the end of the call, and Discord was still staring at the cellphone in his hands.
Celestia gave him a long look from her reclined position on the couch. He had come to her house, so she had felt the need to assert her power by showing that she was comfortable and not disturbed by his antics. Especially since he had sort of beaten her in the looks department - his patched-up, bright yellow suit was looking like something an upper-class hobo might wear, but it still was a more professional look than her sweatpants and t-shirt. “So,” she finally said, “that went well.”
Discord finally stopped staring at her cellphone and instead gave her a dark look. “You,” he hissed, “promised me she would be an emotional wreck!”
“I warned you that she might turn into one if you piled your psychological deconstruction spiel on top of calling her from my phone!” she hissed. “That was not meant as encouragement!” Her horn flared up, and she yanked her phone out of his hands before getting to her hooves. “I’ve been sitting on this number for years! Years of uncertainty. Years of trying to will myself to call her, to... make amends.”
“Ugh, you should hear yourself ta-”
“AND YOU JUST THREW MY ONE SHOT AWAY... TO DO WHAT? TO TRY TO BREAK HER?”
“I WAS TRYING TO SAVE HER!” he roared back.
“YOU JUST CARE ABOUT YOUR DEAREST DARLING FLUTT-”
“Don’t!” Discord hissed, then slowly lowered the hand he had brought up in the heat of the moment, ready to perform one of his chaos-magic snaps. He took a slow, deep breath. “Don’t invoke her name like that. Please.”
They both took a minute to cool down. After decades of working together, they had been through all highs and lows imaginable, so they knew when to back off and stop antagonizing each other.
“So,” he finally said.
“So,” she echoed.
“Did you know she has a plus one?” He was looking more amused than mad.
She allowed herself to relax. “Good for her, I guess? Love is love and all that jazz?”
“Under thirty, wants to open a boutique?” Discord scoffed. “No way this is romantic. I talked myself into giving a hundred thousand bits to the Villian Court dressmaker.”
“I suppose you’ll find out tomorrow.”
He gave her a look. “So will you.”
She didn’t answer. She didn’t have to.
“But if they got costumes lined up, I need to move up a few deadlines.” And with that, he fished his own phone out of a pocket of his jacket. After thumbing the screen a few times, he tossed the phone on the table, just like he had done with hers.
“Oh, sure, feel free to use my living room as you please,” she muttered sarcastically but dutifully shut up when the phone’s ringing was replaced by noise.
“Bueno,” a low male voice answered, making Celestia raise an eyebrow.
Discord grimaced. “Shouldn’t that be ‘¿Hola?’ Also, I think this counts as cultural appropriation since you’re not actually-”
“Fiiine.” A low sigh. “Good evening, you have reached the number of Sombra. Please leave a message after I hang up because you are annoying.”
“Everypony is so touchy tonight,” Discord commented.
“Must be your charisma at work again,” Celestia said and smiled when he rolled his eyes.
“Well, now,” Sombra asked, immediately sounding a lot friendlier, “why didn’t you say you were in good company, Discord?”
“My mother taught me not to lie,” Discord muttered, ignoring her quiet laughter. “Listen, how far are you with Fluttershy’s dress?”
“I’ve got several sketches ready,” came the immediate reply. “Once you two come over, we can finalize the design.” They could hear him flipping through what likely was a calendar. “Last I heard, we were going to meet on-”
“What are the odds that you can have it done by noon tomorrow?”
“Ha! No.”
“Triple whatever price estimate you would’ve slapped on it.”
There was a long pause. “...did you change the date of the concert at the last minute?”
“Just scheduled a rehearsal and wanted to show the opposition what they’re up against.”
Sombra let out a long sigh. “As a fellow artist, you should know that you can’t rush art.”
“As a fellow artist, you should know that deadlines can breathe down your neck,” Discord countered.
Another sigh. “Fine. Send her over.”
“Beg your pardon?”
“...send Fluttershy over to my studio. She needs to pick an outfit and then try on a few prototypes. She can go home after a few hours, but I’ll need her back in the morning for the fitting process.”
“...excuse me for a moment.” Discord put the call on hold, then let out a frustrated groan. “I’m not sure what annoys me more - that he’s right or that I didn’t see this coming.“
Celestia shrugged. “Did you think he’d just work from a photo and deliver you a dress that fits perfectly right away?”
“I never had to worry about clothes,” he muttered, then immediately rolled his eyes.
“And it shows,” both of them intoned simultaneously.
“I usually don’t have to micromanage costume work,” he clarified. “This is what the support staff and in-house tailors are there for.” And with that, he thumbed the phone’s screen again. “You are correct, of course. I should have realized that you’d need Fluttershy for this.” He crossed his arms and thought about this for a second. “But I’m afraid that I can’t send her over. Not this evening, not tomorrow before the rehearsal. She’s already... I mean...” He was gesturing vaguely, suddenly looking both lost and anxious.
“She deserves some peace and quiet before her rehearsal?” Sombra tried after a few seconds.
“Yes, let’s go with that.” Discord ran a hand through his mane.
“Understandable.”
“Unfortunate.” Discord huffed. “I’m afraid that Twilight and her little troupe will come in tomorrow with extravagant costumes.”
Sombra chuckled at that. “Are we still talking about this little indie band?”
“When I called Twilight just now, she and her friends had been hanging out with a fashion designer.”
Celestia could hear Sombra leaning closer to the phone. “Come again?”
Discord’s eyes briefly met hers. “We’re not fully certain,” Celestia explained, “but there was another pony with Twilight. They introduced her as Twilight’s plus one, and she mentioned wanting to open a boutique. That sounds like a designer, and Discord suspects that they were visiting her to do business.”
There was a long pause. “Sounds like a new talent,” Sombra whispered. “Independent, quite likely. How fascinating!”
“I presume nopony you know?”
“I don’t keep close track of every designer in town. There could be dozens of up-and-coming designers in Canterlot, and I wouldn’t know unless they opened a shop or came to a show. And even then, there are probably dozens more who run tiny, independent shops I never heard of.”
“She might be at the rehearsal tomorrow,” Discord said. “Would you like to come as well? Noon at the concert hall.”
“Would you like me to come?”
“Yes.”
“Very well, then. I’ll check out the competition.” Sombra sounded slightly amused. “Should I make my presence known, or do you want me to lurk in the shadows and drop a chandelier on her head?”
“You are literally a supermodel turned fashion designer,” Discord told him and rolled his eyes, “not a guy with a deformity who stalks pretty opera singers and calls himself the Phantom or whatever.”
“I would look good with a half mask, though.”
“You could wear a potato sack and still have ponies complimenting your good looks.”
Sombra chuckled at that. “I will make my presence known, then.”
“Yes. And see what you can find out about their outfits. I want Fluttershy to look a full league better than them.”
“Of course, old friend. I will see you then.”
“Yes. Goodnight.” He reached for his phone, then hesitated. “And thank you.” Discord thumbed the screen to end the call before Sombra could voice his surprise or amusement about Discord’s gratitude.
There was a long pause as Celestia and Discord knew that there was one more thing to take care of.
Finally, after aimlessly navigating his phone’s menus, Discord let out a sigh. “I’ll see myself out. This is a call I’d rather make alone.”
“I understand. I will see-...” She huffed when Discord snapped the fingers of his eagle hand and vanished in a flash of light.
When she was halfway sure that he wasn’t going to pop back in to deliver some remark or witty comment he had forgotten earlier, she allowed herself a faint smile and fished her phone out of her pocket. With a few quick taps and swipes, she opened a video that had briefly made the rounds on social media a while ago. It was shaky, the lighting was terrible, and the audio sounded as if, well, somepony had recorded a live concert from the middle of the audience with their cellphone. Still, the video unmistakably showed Twilight in a slow, almost intimate dance with a unicorn who was wearing a gorgeous dress. She closed the app even before the video got to the kissing part, and her smile widened. Plus one, huh?
“Oh, stop giving me this look,” Rarity said. Somehow, the words only made Twilight look even more like a scolded dog. This is why I keep a cat. Cats aren’t sorry. They do things, and they’re proud of them. They never look at me like this! “It was an accident, and you didn’t ram your elbows or knees into me, so I’ll be fine again in a bit.”
“Mhh-mhhhh.” Twilight nodded slowly, still looking super-extra-guilty.
She’s adorable, even when she’s utterly useless like this. Or maybe especially when she’s useless like this. Rarity bit her lower lip, then shook her head. Focus! “What I’d like to know is why Rainbow Dash wasn’t at all surprised to find you here. You didn’t announce your visit on social media, did you?”
Twilight finally sat up straight and briefly looked over her shoulder. The two of them were sitting at the table while Twilight’s friends were in the far corner of the atelier, debating about the practicality of golden boats with Rainbow Dash. “Didn’t have to. She knows us.”
Rarity also looked over Twilight’s shoulder. Going by the doodles on the whiteboard, Rainbow Dash was once again invoking her (purely fictional) duck pony heritage. And judging by Trixie’s smug look of vindication, she was using it to argue that boats made of solid gold were seaworthy. “I’m pretty sure she doesn’t magically know your location.”
“She doesn’t, but you ordered a cheeseburger with no cheese at a fast food place in Canterlot.” Twilight shrugged. “Might as well have shot up a flare.”
“Not the first time Trixie has ordered that?” Rarity narrowed her eyes at that while her mind was filling in the blanks. Rainbow Dash was obviously on delivery duty tonight, and she recognized the order and promptly arranged this to be her last order of the night, I guess?
“Not the first time? Pshaw.” Twilight chuckled. “She orders it every time. Swears by it.”
“It’s literally just a regular burger!” Rarity hissed.
“She can taste the difference!”
“What difference?”
“Don’t ask me. But we did a double-blind study with ten regular and ten cheeseless cheeseburgers, and she got all of them correct.” Twilight paused slightly. “She also spent roughly an hour on the toilet afterward despite only taking a few bites out of each burger.” Another pause. “She also told me she would murder me if I ever told anypony that last part, so, uh, maybe keep that to yourself.”
I swear... this band is something else. “I’ll just add it to the list of dark secrets I have learned tonight. It’ll be filed somewhere between your ringtone and the fact that your brother is a supermodel cop.”
“He’s disgustingly perfect, isn’t he?”
“Family dinner must be a blast.”
“You have no idea.”
They both cracked a smile almost at the same time.
“So... can I convince you to stay a while? It would be a shame if all that food went to waste.”
Twilight visibly tensed up at this. “I should-... We shouldn’t.” She got to her hooves and absentmindedly ran a hand through her mane. “There’s... I mean... we should prolly go over our song list? And play each song to get a feel for... the flow...?”
She’s lost. Rarity nodded slowly. So very, very lost... “I suppose you’re right,” she said and pretended not to notice the way Twilight was looking relieved and terrified at the same time. “Let me just walk you to the door and-...” She got up and winced.
“Rarity!” Twilight gasped and moved to support her.
Oh, wow, either my acting skills improved drastically since the last time I pulled this, or she is just more gullible in her current state than Rainbow Dash. “Don’t worry,” she hissed through gritted teeth, “it’s nothing. Just some... soreness... from earlier.”
Twilight’s eyes widened with growing horror when she realized who was responsible for what she imagined to be unbelievable pain. “No, no, no, please sit down again! Save your strength...”
“Oh, please.” Rarity gave Twilight her best impression of an encouraging smile while being in agony. And now for the coup de grâce. ...I really hope her reflexes are up to speed. “What kind of hostess would I be if I didn’t accompany you to-” She let her legs give out and dropped to the floor.
“RARITY!” Twilight managed to catch her a few inches away from the floor. “Say something!”
Okay, this was WAY too close for comfort! We need to work on that, darling! “Just... go on... without... me,” she rasped and slowly closed her eyes.
“Wait... what...”
Even with her eyes closed, she could practically hear the tiny cogs in Twilight’s brain starting to move.
Trixie playing a funeral march on an acoustic guitar she hadn’t had half a minute ago likely accelerated the process (and proved that Trixie had a fantastic sense of situational humor).
“...are you guilt-tripping me to the point where you stage a death scene?” Twilight asked, sounding equal parts exasperated and outraged.
“Take care... of my sister...” And with that, Rarity let herself go limp.
There was a long pause. “I should just drop you on the floor,” Twilight finally muttered.
“Barbarian,” Rarity teased her and opened her eyes to give her a sly look.
“Drama queen,” Twilight countered and smirked.
“Oh, she hasn’t seen anything yet,” Rainbow Dash commented from somewhere in the back.
Twilight helped Rarity back to her hooves, then gently shoved her back into her seat. “Fine, we’re staying,” she announced, causing her bandmates to whoop and finally sort through the various boxes Rainbow Dash had delivered. “Now gimme that guitar,” she added, “might as well make it a casual jam session while we’re at it. We may be about to walk into disaster, but we can at least have a good time until then.”
With all the lights off and the curtains closed, Fluttershy found it reasonably easy to pretend that she wasn’t living on the top floor of one of Canterlot’s tallest buildings, in an apartment that was large enough to have space for a soundproof room and a personal recording studio. The darkness made everything feel small and mundane, just as she liked it.
Discord had tried to see her issue with this living arrangement, of course. He did care about her, after all. But apparently, there were limits even to the powers of a mighty draconequus. Because where he only saw the amazing view from her windows, she found herself looking down on everypony else.
It’s okay, she told herself, sitting on her bed. It will be fine in the end. Soon. Soon.
Fame and popularity were not eternal; she knew that much. In fact, she was banking on it.
Just a few more months. Maybe a year. Then I can go back to being normal. “Normal. Heh.” She narrowed her eyes. No. Normal was not good. Not good enough, at least. I was invisible and alone. Now, at least, I’m just alone. That’s progress. Right? She groaned and let herself fall sideways, resting her head on her pillow. It wasn’t even close to her bedtime, and she was still wearing her everyday clothes, but she was very tempted to simply close her eyes anyway. Not like anypony would care.
The ringing of her cellphone made her twitch, but she caught herself quickly. Hope. She got up from the bed and gently picked up the phone. The caller ID didn’t surprise her. “Yes?” she asked after accepting the call with a quick tap, her voice barely more than a whisper.
There was a pause, and her heart sank. After long seconds, Discord’s voice repeated to her what his silence had already said: “I’m sorry, Fluttershy.”
The grip on her phone tightened. “They want to go through with it?”
“I tried everything,” Discord whined, “believe me! They’re crazy!”
“So... now...” She started to run a hand through her light rose mane.
He took a deep breath. “We have one last shot. I arranged for a rehearsal.” A pause. “Tomorrow at noon.”
She clenched her fist, then winced when she realized just how much combing would be necessary to smoothen out her mane again. “T-tomorrow?”
“I needed to catch them off-guard. Also, I reasoned that you would want to avoid postponing the final decision, given how long we had to fret already.”
We. She nodded, then realized that he wouldn’t be able to see it. “I see.”
“But don’t worry!” he tried to cheer her up. “I made arrangements for reinforcements. They’ll call it quits before you even have to start your second song, and in the end, they will hate me, but not you.”
“What if I don’t want them to hate either one of us?” she asked, choosing not to voice her doubts about his wild promises.
His sigh was sounding genuine, which made her worry about what must have happened earlier. “Believe me, I would like us all to get along. Then we could sit around a campfire and sing Kumbaya and be the bestest of friends.”
“I would love to sit around a-”
“And you will! We’ll just take care of this tiny issue tomorrow, and then you can go and do whatever you want!” His cheer was sounding incredibly fake, but she forced herself not to comment on it.
Do whatever I want? I just want to enjoy making music again. I don’t want to have to surpass expectations again and again. I don’t want to carefully select which songs should go on which album. I just want to play! “I’ll hold you to your word.” Soon. Soon.
“I expect nothing less of my dearest prodigy.” He chuckled. “I’ll send a limo to your place at ten.”
“See you then, Discord...”
“Goodnight. You’re the best.” He hung up, and she slowly lowered her phone.
After a few seconds, her screen finally went out again, and she simply stood in the darkness for a full minute.
“You’re the best,” she whispered. The phone slipped from her grasp and hit the carpet with a low thud.
She sat down on her bed, then retreated to its center and hugged her knees. “You’re the best.”
Her large wings spread out around her like a protective shield, and she allowed herself a quiet sob. “You’re... the best...”
Soon.
Soon.
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You are a deceptively clever pony.
Yeah, that's fair. Even assuming they believe "Discord bribed us" at face value, that'll probably lead to complications.
How even the hell...
Best pony.
Jeez.
Why? You're right.
Yes, yes he would. ...and wow, honestly I'd forgotten about this fic. Oh well, excuse to re-read it.
What a delightful Sunday surprise. :3
I'm feeling some very emotions right now. What a way to introduce Fluttershy!
yes
Poor Flutters
. Also, Trixie is bucking hilarious with her timing and jokes! 
Hm, so Fluttershy is in something like the same place as Twilight was as Princess Twilicorn? Interesting.
Why ask if Sombra would look good in a half-mask? I think the much better question is, "Why isn't Sombra always wearing a half-mask?"
Oof. Lots of drama it this instalment. And… that last scene. Poor Flutters. The fact that Discord seems like he was genuinely trying to help her just makes it so much more painful.
Not gonna lie, Fluttershy has me confused. Does she NOT want others to enjoy her music and think shes great?
10956599
From the looks of it, she suffers from stage fright, so while she does okay in a studio, she doesn't much like performing to live audiences.
"Bueno?" is definitely the standard in Mexico. I can confirm!
In any case, it's great to see this story back!
Very great to see this story back! It's one of my absolute favorites, you have some of the best humor I've seen in any fic on this site.
A very unexpected yet extremely welcome surprise to see this land in my inbox this morning, whoo!
10956599
My read is she feels trapped in a micromanaged career she hasn’t enjoyed in a very long time; that her meek, down-to-earth personality is clashing heavily with the life of a commercialized superstar; and that she’s feeling crushed under the weight of everyone’s (maybe especially Discord’s?) expectations, to the extent where she’s approaching her breaking point if she’s now crying alone at night in anguish about being “the best”.
IMO, she needs to meet Villian Court, shatter their expectations of her by being her adorashy self, and then decide to run off with them pronto in order to experience the fun and freedom they have that she so desperately craves. Maybe after being inspired to say so upon overhearing Twilight (who’s taken Rarity’s previous speech to heart) giving an earful to Discord or whoever else about how her lack of a managed career gives her the kind of creative freedom a regular star can’t have …
Okay, so I may have had some thoughts about where I hope the story goes in the future.
10956865
very interesting thoughts!
10956131
I love writing an eccentric Trixie with skills that have no probable use, but are absolutely impressive. I... dislike writing sad things.
10956180
10956183
Thanks, the final few sentences took weeks to write, even after I knew exactly what to write. I'm easily swayed by what I read/watch/write, so writing her breaking down and crying was not something I enjoyed, even in a brief scene like this.
10956599
10956719
The interpretation by 10956865 is fairly spot-on. Fluttershy can perform in front of crowds and enjoys it to a certain extent, but she's not competitive, and her career is a major case of "too much of a good thing". Couple that with her shy/polite nature, and you have a superstar who is silently counting down the days until her own irrelevance instead of seeking a confrontation with the person who put her on that pedestal.
10956792
Perfect, thank you for confirming!
10956221
Yes, there absolutely are similarities (although the surrounding circumstances are slightly different). Both mentor figures mean well, both prodigies feel/felt out of control, and both relationships are somewhat strained because of poor communication all around.
10957407
If it's any consolation? So do I.
YAY! A new update!!!!
My first thought as I read through this: Finally! Someone whose head Canon has Sombra as being Spanish.
My thoughts after I read through it again: ..... "You're not actually" aaaargh!
Can't wait for the next chapter, I came close to doing the high pitched excited screech when I spotted the update.
Fantastic stuff all around, including Fluttershy's deeper troubles. Great contrast between the plucky underdogs having fun together and her locked in her tower like a violinist Rapunzel. Looking forward to more.
Yay! My favorite disaster lesbian story has updated! I live for the updates on this story. Did a re-read and I had the thought that everyone besides Rarity and Twilight have become the side characters in a Rom-Com. Also, it seems that Fluttershy is burning out. Just they way she is portrayed in this chapter shows that she isn't enjoying her art anymore. Even if she shows up to the battle of the bands, her heart isn't going to be in it.
Calling it now. It's not going to be a battle of the bands but team up. The court on one side, Fluttershy on the other and instead of trying out perform each other they work together with Twilight grabbing the mike and telling exactly how the 'battle' is going down.
A almost non stop run of the songs passing back and forth between the Court and Fluttershy, steamless blends into each other with the Court slowing down to match Fluttershy's songs then she going to town like Octavia with the Court's songs. No vocals of any song just pure music until the final song where both Twilight and Fluttershy are playing something rocking, dead center front of the stage, side by side playing there hearts out.
Both get what they want. A peaceful end to a match up neither wanted.
Wooo! Super excited to see the update.
Aww, poor flutters. I know how hard it can be to get through some portions of text, but I certainly appreciate you pushing through for us.
Given her reticence, I'm a little curious about how this battle of the bands came about in the first place, but I'm more hopeful that it turns into a jam session.
Still an absolute favorite story - so many tantalizing plot threads hanging, and so much potential with all the dynamic personalities and the tension/chemistry between them. Kind of ironic (but appropriate), that Discord's most successful approach in getting them to call it off would probably have been the truth.
Regardless, I'm looking forward to seeing it play out.
Oh man, poor flutters... I see whats happening here, and I feel for her.
Welcome back! Happy to see an update ^.^
10960349
What is the issue with her? I feel like i have some clue but might be missing the mark
Damn that’s sad
almost two years, and this story arises from the grave!
Well. Rarity has definitely throw her lot in with an interesting bunch of people.
10962770
Considering that social anxiety is intrinsic to her character, given the many, many episodes referencing such (and the multitude of implications here), it’s likely something regarding that, alongside the visible displeasure with the weight of the current state of her career.
I saw this and said out loud "oh, yay." But only just got around to reading it and it was fun. Look forward to more.
A lovely update for this story.
That's a great dynamic between Discord and Celestia, adapted to the AU quite well.
First glimpse into how Celestia feels about the whole thing with Twilight, cool. And very Celestia.
Discord is trying so hard, but he's trying to protect Flutters from completely the wrong things. And yeah, I can see how he most definitely wouldn't want Fluttershy to know how he had gotten the battle called off.
Poor Fluttershy. Some great parallels between her and Twilight. Though Twilight was afraid she didn't deserve it, and pulled a Sunset to get out of it. Whereas Flutters just outright doesn't want it. Classic case of all the enjoyment being wrung out of something you used to love. And still would under other circumstances.
10956280
Too much of a good thing, he would say.
Always great when this updates.
Hope all is well. Love this story. Looking forward to reading the next update.
So i finally got myself to read this it's Great i hope fluttershy Drops Discord for he is being a 100% control Freak
Else got to say i Love Orden Ogan Great band they are one of my favorite bands together with Powerwolf / Beast In Black and GloryHammer
Just reread the story. Still awesome. Looking forward to seeing more.
Reread again. Still awesome.
media1.giphy.com/media/D3OdaKTGlpTBC/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952u9f40lkzc05rb6w24bz6s28t8iyby2voms65sbog&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
Moar please. At least, if you’re doing ok.
Orden Ogan is awesome! Have a good bit of their stuff.
Out of curiosity, is this story going to continue or its basically cancelled?
11761303
Not cancelled... but you may have noticed that I haven't posted in a hot minute in general. So while I absolutely intend to resume this, you might want to grab a chair or something, sorry.