Lies Greed Celestia
“Anything else, ma’am?”
Rarity quickly double-checked the list. “I think that should be it. You got that number 18 had no cheese, right? This was marked as important on my list, so before somepony succumbs to an allergic reaction... ”
“Yes, ma’am,” the stallion on the other end dutifully replied. “I indeed wrote down that that the cheeseburger should be prepared without cheese.”
“That the cheesebu-...” Rarity’s grip on her phone tightened considerably. “Trixie,” she hissed and tried to give the prankster in the atelier a glare all the way from the kitchen.
The stallion snickered. “Don’t worry, not the first time we get jokers. Should I scratch it?”
Make him put that on an extra bill! Make her literally pay for her petty attempt at revenge! “No, keep it,” she muttered. “Probably just her way of thanking me for a feline mauling.”
“Uh, right.” There was an awkward pause as he waited for her to explain that remark. When no such explanation came, he coughed. “Expect the delivery in roughly thirty minutes. Could be a bit longer, given the volume.”
“That’s fine, thank you.”
Rarity hesitated at the door to her atelier. Last time she had entered it, she had witnessed crimes against fashion, and since then, things had only gotten weirder. Well, at least it can’t get much worse than that turquoise dress on her lavender coat, right? She pushed the door open... and raised an eyebrow.
Five cellphones were out, their grinning owners taking dozens of pictures of the rather unfair fight that was going on in the center of the atelier.
“Ahem,” Rarity announced her presence. Octavia and Vinyl at least put away their phones and gave her sheepish smiles. Trixie, Twilight, and Big Macintosh had fewer scruples.
“Hey, sis,” Sweetie greeted her without taking her eyes off of Applejack.
“Mhhhh!” Applejack said and tried to get enough leverage to chuck Sweetie into their neighbor’s house. However, between the wrist lock and all of her limbs - as well as her muzzle - being further bound by silk ribbons, she had virtually no freedom of movement left.
“A-hem!” Rarity tried again, desperately trying not to crack a grin. “Sweetie deRelle Belle?”
Her sister finally glanced up from her position on Applejack’s back, giving her a mildly exasperated look. “She started it!”
As if having waited for her cue - and she probably had - Trixie pulled a handkerchief out from under her cape and started to dry her non-existent tears. “It’s true,” she sobbed, “Applejack s-suddenly attacked p-poor Sweetie! I have never seen my dear friend acting like this!”
Big Macintosh grabbed her handkerchief and started to wipe away his own non-existent tears. “Eeyup, Granny Smith always said that th’ girl had th’ devil inside her, but ah never believed ‘er till this day...”
If looks had been able to kill, Villian Court would have just been reduced to a duo act.
“Now, now, that’s horribly unfair to Applejack,” Octavia chided them. “Badmouthing your friend who can’t even defend herself against these allegations!” Applejack let out a sigh and nodded in appreciation, unable to see Octavia’s slightly mischievous smile. “Fortunately, the inherent bond between all Earth ponies allows us to transmit our thoughts at close range.”
“...mmmph?”
Octavia dropped to her knees and gently touched Applejack’s forehead with one hand and her temple with the other. “I’m... getting... something...”
“MMMPH!”
“Ah yes...” Octavia kept up her act, ignoring the way Applejack was nearly throwing off Sweetie despite the silk bonds and the submission hold. “If ya don’ untie me this instant, y’all can walk home,” she finally said, delivering a frighteningly good impression of Applejack’s slight drawl.
This is like that one nightmare where Rainbow Dash found a way to clone herself. Rarity sighed and clapped her hands to get everypony’s attention. “Yes, lovely performance, but you can take five now, darlings.” She pulled over a small sitting pillow with her magic and gently sat down on it next to Applejack. “With friends like these, who needs enemies, right?” She laughed lightly and patted Applejack’s head.
“Mh,” Applejack grunted.
“Of course, I presume you had good reason to get into a brawl with my dear sister and that you will tell me that absolutely convincing reason once we’re done here,” she added, her smile warping into a slightly cruel grin. “Right?”
“She was just worried that I had opened the door so readily after it had gotten dark outside,” Sweetie explained, noticing Applejack’s slightly distressed whine. “She didn’t believe me when I said that I could defend myself... and... uh... she kinda went in for a grab...”
“Mh mhry,” Applejack mumbled an apology through her gag.
“Ah’ll chew her out later for resortin’ so quickly to... physicality, ma’am,” Big Macintosh volunteered. “Good intentions about makin’ a point or not, there were better ways of handlin’ this.”
“Yes, well, at least nopony got injured.” Rarity sighed happily. “I guess we can leave it at that unless she also wants to take a closer look at the last-resort can of pepper spray near the door?” She smiled down at Applejack, who was looking miserable now, and patted her head one last time before giving the younger Belle a look over her shoulder. “Now... Sweetie. Of course I assumed that she had started it. For one, I trust you to remember your lessons about discipline and avoiding fights if possible.” She reached out and gently stroked Sweetie’s shoulder. “Besides, her friends would have helped her instead of turning this into an impromptu photoshoot if you had been the aggressor.”
“Actually, I would’ve just called it a night and hailed a cab if Sweetie there had suddenly attacked and overwhelmed Applejack for no reason,” Vinyl admitted, then rolled her eyes when Applejack shot her a dirty look. “What? You can benchpress Twilight, and you still got your tail handed to you by her! What would you have me do? Write a mean symphony while she suplexes me?”
“So... if we’re all good... why the full name basis?” Sweetie asked carefully, ignoring the way Applejack was once again struggling under her.
Rarity sighed theatrically. “Because this,” she said and pointed at the ribbons tying down Applejack, “is silk directly imported from Saddle Arabia. It costs more bits per inch than your weekly allowance!”
“...are you scolding me for not looking through your drawers for cheaper alternatives while fighting off The Ultimate Apple Farmer here?”
“I’m just saying that the cotton ribbons were just one drawer below the silk ones,” Rarity informed her curtly, but her smile assured Sweetie that she was - mostly - joking. “Now, why don’t we call this fight in your favor and let Applejack out of her predicament?”
“Fiiine,” Sweetie said and released Applejack from the wrist lock. A second later, she also let go of her magic grip on the ends of the ribbons.
Rarity smiled and got back to her hooves before using her own magic to untie Applejack and let the ribbons roll up in her outstretched hand, ignoring her grunts and muttered curses when the fabric around her muzzle finally came loose.
Twilight finally came forward, having been conspicuously quiet during this episode so far. She quickly knelt next to Applejack, who was busy rubbing her sore muscles and joints. “I want the protocol to show that I tried to stop you,” she told her friend. “Though I will also note that it was a beautiful case of karma that you just got your butt handed to you by a young filly, especially considering that you brought up my history from when I was roughly her age.”
“Well, ah sure am glad that at least one o’ us enjoyed this,” Applejack muttered, but Rarity could see a rueful smile on her face.
“Speaking of your history,” Rarity said, taking careful note of the way Twilight’s tail twitched. “Why don’t you go upstairs while I finish sorting things out down here? You can freshen up in the bathroom and then make yourself at home in my office. I’ll be with you in a few minutes.”
Twilight nodded slowly, thankfully not going back on her agreement to share her backstory. “Yeah, I’ll... go and do all that,” she replied somewhat lamely, obviously trying to sort out her story in her head already. “You guys better be on your best behavior,” she addressed her friends. “If we come back down and see that Sweetie had dropkick anypony through a window, I’ll be mad!”
Her friends murmured in assent. Sweetie merely grinned, likely still riding her adrenaline high.
“Um,” Applejack finally spoke up after a few minutes, cutting through the idle chitchat that had filled the room after Twilight had left, “ah know we agreed that all’s good overall... but ah wanted to apologize properly. Both to you and to your sister.”
“Darling, believe me when I say that it’s fine. You meant well, after all, and I will never fault somepony for an abundance of enthusiasm.” She looked aside. “My ongoing friendship with Rainbow Dash is a testament to that fact...” A quick cough. “Anyway. Nopony was hurt, and it gave Sweetie a rare chance to practice under real-life conditions.”
“An’ you know ah’ll have a talk with her-” Big Macintosh repeated his promise.
“Yeah, yeah,” Applejack muttered and rolled her eyes.
“-in front of her granny-”
“Ugh.”
“-an’ her sister-”
“Oh, for cryin’ out loud!”
“-an’ her dog.”
That final addition made Applejack wheeze. “Not Winona! She loves me!”
“She deserves to know the truth,” Big Macintosh said and nodded gravely.
“You monster,” Applejack hissed, looking genuinely hurt. “You absolute, disgustin’ monster. You’re just jealous that she loves me more than you.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow at that and gave Trixie a questioning look. “Dog owners,” the latter simply whispered and rolled her eyes. “Don’t ever get between her and that animal.”
“Ah heard that!” Applejack snapped and pointed her finger at Trixie. “Winona ain’t just an animal!”
“Case in point,” Trixie muttered.
“Winona is family! She’s more family than any pony in this room could ever be!” Behind her, Big Macintosh made the most dismissive gesture he could afford, given the implied age rating set by Sweetie’s presence. “Winona’s bloodline is inextricably linked to the Apple family!”
And with that, she reached for her cellphone.
Trixie’s eyes widened. “Oh my, would you look at the time!?” she blurted out and delivered a laugh that was as fake as it was shrill before turning towards the door. “Miss Belle, it’s been a pleas-HORK!“
Applejack kept fiddling with her phone with one hand while the other was roughly grabbing Trixie by her tail. “Oh no, ya don’t.” She finally nodded at her phone. “Here, look at this. This is ol’ Wyatt Apple, one o’ the most feared lawponies in the olden days. An’ you see who’s by his side?”
Trixie looked past the cellphone that had been shoved almost literally in her face. “Fly, you fool!” she whispered.
“Right,” Rarity said and laughed lightly. “Sweetie, you got this?”
“I wanna see the puppies, too!” Sweetie was already tugging at Applejack’s shirt before grinning and making a gesture to shoo Rarity.
Thanks, I owe you one. Rarity waved back before making her way to the door.
Dog people, I swear, Rarity thought and smirked. This is why I like cats more. There is less pretense. A cat will let you know that it merely tolerates you, even though it regards you as inherently inferior, and it’s up to you to decide if you’re okay with that. She moved towards the stairs.
“-room. So let’s just go in before she catches you standing out here like an idiot.”
Rarity froze and waited a moment until she heard the door to her room click shut. Let’s give her a few minutes to get settled in. It would be rather impolite to just barge in right behind her, right? She nodded to herself. I suppose five minutes is a good time. ...no, that’s going to look like I timed it. Five minutes is a terrible time! Let’s say... six? I think that’s much better. Unless... is six minutes too long? What if she gets bored? A minute can feel like an eternity when you’re bored, and six minutes would then-
The door to her room opened and closed again.
Now what? Rarity thought and raised an eyebrow. Don’t tell me my room is not, how do they say, “metal” enough for her... She snuck up a few steps, just in case Twilight decided to voice whatever complaint she had.
“The kind of long day where I stumble into a bar in another dimension,” her guest whispered.
Rarity blinked at that. Then, for good measure, she blinked at that a second time. Okay... is this a reference to a song they’re working on? Bit of an odd time for rehearsal if you ask me, but I’m not the rock star goddess here, so what do I know?
“The kind of long day where I find myself wondering if I can, in fact, defuse the band battle without losing face.”
Okay. Not song rehearsal. Just self-doubt. She decided to move.
“The kind of long day where-”
“The kind of long day where you don’t even realize you’re talking to yourself?” Rarity asked.
Twilight blinked and looked to her side just in time to see her coming up the stairs.
“Yes, that kind of long day exactly,” she said and returned the smile Rarity was giving her. “But I suppose you could say the same.”
“Eh, messed up a job interview, had a coffee that glowed light purple, almost got hit by a car, invited my muse and goddess into my home.” Rarity feigned a yawn. “Pretty average day, really.” They both chuckled at that. “So... need a drink?”
Twilight slightly tilted her head. “I feel that I need to tell my story... and maybe reflect a bit on my life in general.” A pause. “But yeah, I’ll also have a drink while I’m at it.”
“Well, after you,” Rarity said and gestured at the door that led to her room.
“In there?” Twilight seemed oddly unsure all of a sudden. She opened her mouth, as if to voice an objection, but then stopped herself after turning around. “...oh, you meant your room!”
Did she somehow-... But didn’t she just come out of-... Let’s not question it. “Well... yes.” Questions or not, Rarity allowed herself to point at the door, just in case. Play it cool, it’s been a long day for both of you... “I’d point out there there’s even a sign with my name on it, but you’ve already proven your dislike for those, so...”
“You’re never going to let me live that one down, are you?” Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically before opening the door to Rarity’s room and office. There was a pause as she took it all in, seemingly for the first time. And finally, Twilight smiled and almost looked... relieved? “Yeah,” she whispered to herself and stepped inside, “yeah, this... this is... yeah.”
“Well, I’m glad it’s to your liking. I didn’t have time to give it a full once-over, but I hope that you’re going to feel-”
“Oh, this is also your bedroom?” Twilight asked and practically pranced to the room divider that kept Rarity’s bed and private closets out of immediate view.
“Ahem.”
Her height allowed her to peek over it with ease, and she giggled quietly. “So that’s where that bathrobe went... Man, that bed looks comfy... I should totally invest in something better than my futon when I got the spare funds! Maybe not quite as frilly and fluffy as-”
“A-hem!”
Twilight’s brain finally caught up with what she was doing. She turned on the spot, nearly knocking over the divider. Before Rarity could move towards it, a brief burst of magic stabilized it. The glow around Twilight’s horn vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Right, private space, sorry,” she muttered and looked down guiltily.
“Indeed it is,” Rarity replied curtly. “I’m not the kind of mare who will jump at the slightest opportunity to succumb to her carnal desires and drag somepony to her bed as soon as physically possible.” She prayed that Twilight wouldn’t call out her blatant lie.
“I wasn’t-... I didn’t-...” Twilight gestured this way and that before taking a deep breath. “Well, I’m not the kind of rock star who will allow just any old mare to sit on my lap and ride me till I’m sore on the first date.”
Rarity barely managed to not burst out laughing at the blunt phrasing but was less lucky when it came to not blushing at the mental image. “Well, I believe I already established that this-”
“-isn’t a date,” Twilight finished the sentence for her and rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, yes.”
Am I pushing this act onto thin ice? “Exactly. I am still... evaluating things.”
“Evaluating,” Twilight repeated the word flatly. “You are... evaluating things? Like, me? Like some sort of psych evaluation?” She crossed her arms, and Rarity couldn’t tell if she had just pushed things too far, especially in the context of the events of the last hour. “Next thing I know, you drag a couch in here and ask me about my-...” She leaned slightly to her right and looked past Rarity. “...is that a couch?” She walked past Rarity and stared at the piece of furniture that had been sitting in the office/recreational area of the room. “Is that an actual, thrice-damned psychiatrist couch?”
“Actually, it’s-”
“Are you some sort of psychoanalyst in your spare time? Is that how you were able to afford this fancy house?”
“No, and this is-”
“The hay...” Twilight sat down on the red velvet cushions, shaking her head in disbelief the entire time. Then, after a moment of hesitation, she lay down on it as best as her large frame allowed, her lower legs dangling over the edge. “Kinda comfy, at least. No wonder all you shrinks got one of these...”
“I’m not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or shrink, darling,” Rarity finally corrected her when she was halfway sure that Twilight’s rant was over. “This is my fainting couch, and it’s where I wallow in despair when I’m feeling particularly dramatic.” She sat down on a chair next to the couch, slightly out of Twilight’s view, and used her magic and a few pins to arrange her mane into a quick bun. Then she levitated her reading glasses and a clipboard from her nearby desk. “Zhat being said,” she said with her best/worst accent impersonation, “tell me about your mozher.”
Twilight got up halfway from the couch to give Rarity a look and broke out in laughter when she saw Rarity’s new look. “Okay, fine, point taken, Sigmund Freud. Or should I say, Sigrid Fraud?” She slumped back onto the couch and gave Rarity a last look before looking back ahead. “Also, as much as I dig the ‘sexy librarian’ look, I think I prefer your curls,” she muttered before clearing her throat. Rarity was almost sure that the other mare was blushing under her lavender coat.
Rarity smiled and let her hair down again. “Well, you-”
“My mother loves me.”
There was a moment of silence as Rarity sat there, mouth still open. “Um, darling, that was a joke,” she finally said and let out a slightly nervous laugh. “You don’t have to actually-...” She stopped talking when Twilight dismissively waved her hand.
“I know, but... we’re here to talk about me, right? About who I used to be.” Twilight took a deep breath. “I normally hate my past to be brought up... but it very much defines me, and I want you to... understand me better. To know me better.” She groaned and rubbed her hand. “Also, you just witnessed me punching a van and flipping off a cop, so my super-tragic backstory might somehow convince you not to file a restraining order against me.”
They chuckled at that. “So... happy family?” Rarity finally asked even as she levitated over a bottle of red wine and two glasses.
“Happy family,” Twilight confirmed. “Always was. Still is. And, given how much I screwed up so far without things getting worse, it always will be.” Her breathing slowed down as she allowed herself to relax. “Rich parents. Not multi-millionaires or anything, but with enough reserves to just smile and nod when young Twily told them that she wanted to become a musician.” She smiled ruefully. “I mean, let’s face it, that’s a pretty daft career goal. Fine as a hobby when you got an actual job to support you, sure. But if you want to turn it into an actual job that pays your bills... wow. You have to be either very lucky, very talented, very dedicated, very well-connected... or very eager to deliver your audition on your knees under somepony’s desk.”
Rarity coughed in mid-sip, barely managing not to do a massive spit-take onto her white plush carpet. “Wha-...” She took a moment to dab her lips with a tissue. “Dare I ask which category you fell into?”
“Very funny. Also, I had been twelve, so get your mind out of the gutter, please.”
“So... very talented?”
“Flatterer.” Twilight snorted. “Looking back, probably a healthy mix of luck and talent. Likely more luck than talent or skill - I got picked after, what, half a year of singing lessons, which still blows my mind, by the way.” She frowned as she reflected on that. “Yeah, let’s just say I was super lucky.”
“Luck may get you picked, but I believe you need a mix of talent and dedication to-”
“THAT’S WHAT YOU ALWAYS-...” Twilight snapped and shot her the most hostile glare Rarity had ever seen. Then her eyes went wide when she apparently realized who she was shouting at.
“I’m so-”
“Don’t!” Twilight hissed, but her look had changed from anger to despair. “Don’t you dare to apologize!” She slowly moved into a sitting position and spun in place to face Rarity. The two mares sat together in silence for what seemed like hours before Twilight let out a sigh and cast her eyes downward. “Please forgive me. It’s just... it’s just that my mentor always used to say that, and... after all that happened... it’s just...” She waved her hand lamely.
“Your mentor... you mean the pony working for the label that picked you?”
Twilight laughed quietly at that, and Rarity couldn’t help but think that the larger mare was looking... exhausted. “The pony working for the label... ha! No, no... you see, it wasn’t some underling who picked me. Little Twily attended an audition where, for some stupid reason, the big boss herself had been in attendance.” She looked Rarity in the eyes again, but Rarity could tell that her mind was very much elsewhere. “On that day, after a not even stellar performance, I was offered a record deal by Celestia.”
“Celestia?” Rarity frantically dug through her memories at the mention of that name. “You mean... the Celestia of... what was it... Causal Loop Diagram?”
Twilight gave her an almost bored look. “The band’s name was just ‘CLD,’ after the initials of the members. The whole ‘Causal Loop Diagram blah blah interrelated variables represent how we’re all in this together blah blah’ stuff was only retcon marketing spin to make them look more... blegh... I don’t even know... sophisticated, profound, whatever.”
Rarity allowed herself a slight smile. “Did you already hate the band before or only after Celestia signed-”
“It was the friggen SEVENTIES!” Twilight snapped, but at least she only seemed generally annoyed and not personally aggrieved. “Do I look like I got a special connection to the happy, soft, kumbaya type of music from a time when I hadn’t even been born yet?” She blinked, then frowned. “...you’re not some sort of undercover CLD sleeper agent superfan, are you?”
“...can you actually be both undercover and a sleeper agent?” Rarity teased after a moment of consideration.
Twilight smirked and pointed a finger gun at her. “Just answer the question, ma’am.”
Rarity laughed at that. “I will admit that I occasionally enjoy listening to oldies, but just like you, I never built up an emotional bond to an era I did not witness.”
“Fair enough.” Twilight slumped back onto the couch. “Anyway... yeah, that Celestia. The ‘C’ in ‘CLD,’ at least until the band split up and they all moved on to other aspects of making music. Case in point, Albedo Two Records, Celestia’s record label and proof positive that astronomy is not her strongest suit because that is totally not how this works.”
“And the new home of Princess Twilicorn,” Rarity added, this time knowingly stepping on that particular landmine.
Twilight tensed at the name but thankfully kept her cool otherwise. “The only home of Princess Twilicorn,” she whispered, then shook her head slowly. “I didn’t have an artist name when I was auditioning. I was just Twilight Sparkle. Then Celestia came in, and she told me...” Twilight clenched her fist and stopped talking for a few seconds. Finally, she forced herself to relax again. “She told me that I was special. That I had the potential to be more than just Twilight Sparkle.”
“So Princess Twilicorn was her idea?”
“Completely,” Twilight confirmed drily. “She thought of the name, she composed the melodies, she wrote the lyrics, she hired people to design my outfits and to drill me on my new stage persona, on how to truly be Princess Twilicorn. It was all her.” She abruptly got up and started to pace, absentmindedly grabbing her glass of wine and emptying it in one go, like the rock barbarian that she was. “Princess Twilicorn was her invention. Her... property. An entire identity, complete with two-album, eight-single discography, all lined up and ready to go. All she needed was a young, halfway cute kid with a solid voice and the ability to memorize a whole bunch of lines. A pretty idiot who could sing.” She put the glass back down on the table with slightly more force than was strictly necessary. “And that pretty idiot was me.”
You sound bitter, Rarity quipped, but wisely kept the thought to herself. “You sound bitter,” she said instead, then froze. Aw, ficklestitch.
“Bitter?” Twilight gave a slightly lopsided grin. Coupled with her wide eyes, it was a terrifying and unhinged look. “Oh, I’m sorry, you think I sound bitter?”
“Twilight, darling, I apol-”
“YES, I’M BITTER!” Twilight snapped, then recoiled, as if startled by her own anger. “Sorry, sorry, sorry... it’s just that SHE USED ME!” She pointed angrily in a random direction. “I WAS NOTHING TO HER! NOTHING! SHE NEEDED A USEFUL IDIOT TO PLAY THE ROLE OF HER BIG HEADLINER FOR THE AGE-SIX-TO-TWELVE DEMOGRAPHICS FOR THAT YEAR’S SUMMER SEASON!” She was panting openly now. Somehow, this one rant had taken more out of her than an entire rock concert. Suddenly, she laughed. “But go on, say it.”
“...say what?” Rarity heard somepony ask, and it took her a moment to realize that the quiet, scared voice belonged to her.
“Ohhh, but Twilight, you got to be a star!” Twilight did a terrible imitation of a squealing fan. “You got to be famous!” She snorted, then started to pace again. “Do you know that old saying that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Yeah, that doesn’t apply to being a star. I got a taste of what it feels like to be a star... but it was fake and hollow. It wasn’t me. I hadn’t earned it. And it wasn’t going to last.” She turned to face Rarity and tapped her temple with one finger. “But I was smart! I spared myself a lot of anger and heartbreak!”
Did you now? Rarity thought, but this time made a conscious effort to keep her mouth shut.
“Because I saw where that particular train was heading, and I got off before it crashed into a wall. I confronted Celestia and told her that I had wisened up to her scheme and that I was out.”
“You ended your own career?”
“It was never my career to begin with,” Twilight non-replied, then sighed. “But... yeah. Ultimately... yeah. Needless to say that Celestia wasn’t happy.” She walked back to the couch and let herself fall onto it. A more detached part of Rarity’s mind was thankful for the fact that she had gone with the sturdier model all those years ago. “You want to know the worst part?” she suddenly asked and covered her eyes with one hand.
“...do you want me to pick from the enormous pile of bad parts you already told me, or are you going to airdrop more onto it?”
Twilight gave her a sideways glance through a gap between her fingers. “The worst part was how Celestia reacted.”
“Was she mad?”
“That’s just it - she wasn’t!” Twilight hissed and got up again. Her inability to decide whether or not to stay on the couch was slowly driving Rarity up a wall. “She wasn’t angry! Do you want to know how she reacted?”
Yes. No. No. Yes. No.
“Fortunately” for her, Twilight was so lost in her own world that she didn’t even seem to expect an answer. “She pitied me! She... she looked down on me literally and metaphorically after I had shown her how I had looked through her despicable long con... and in her eyes, I could see nothing but pity! As if she was... I don’t even know! Smarter? Wiser? More experienced?”
“Which she admittedly-”
“SHE WAS WRONG!” It was getting hard to tell if Twilight was angry at her or Celestia, and Rarity suspected that with each exchange, the line between the two targets was becoming more and more blurred. “CELESTIA USED ME! KNOWINGLY! SHE SET ME UP TO BE A STAR AND TO BE FAMOUS!”
Yes, how terrible.
“BUT WE ALL KNOW HOW THIS SONG ENDS! METEORIC RISE FROM NOTHING! RAPID CAREER! AND THEN, INEVITABLY, COMES THE FALL! AND SHE KNEW THAT! AND SHE STILL SET ME UP FOR THIS! AND IF I HADN’T WISENED UP, MY CAREER WOULD HAVE ENDED AFTER LESS THAN A YEAR!”
...which it did anyway. Especially since you ended it without giving it, Celestia, or yourself a chance to beat the odds. Rarity narrowed her eyes a little bit. She knew that Twilight was pouring her heart out and that this had obviously been a defining and somewhat traumatic event for the taller mare... but while she wanted to express her sympathy, she also felt that Twilight was... wrong. She pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth.
“BUT ALL SHE GOT WAS MY INDENTURED SERVITUDE FOR A FEW MONTHS, AND ALL SHE GAVE ME IN THE END WAS SEVERAL THOUSAND BITS AND LOADS AND LOADS OF PITY!”
...this is not how indentured servitude works, I think? Also, hey, I’d take several thousand bits for a few months of work before hitting eighteen... Rarity sighed. Judging by the amount of non-stop shouting, Twilight was spiraling steadily into oblivion. Can I snap her out of it? I feel I should, but this might just end with her punching something again. “Stevie,” she finally threw in, praying that she could bait Twilight to return to the land of the sane long enough to lay out her case.
“AND THEN SHE HAD THE AUDACITY TO-...” Twilight blinked. Then she blinked again, as if only now realizing that Rarity had said something. “What?”
Well, the shouting stopped, so that’s a start... “Stevie.”
“Stevie who?” Twilight asked, her anger slowly giving way to mild irritation. “Is this some sort of knock-knock joke?”
“Stevie Wonderbolt.”
“Yeah?” Twilight was openly staring at her now. “The blind singer. Has won more awards than we released songs and was more famous than the actual Wonderbolts at his peak. What about him?”
“From what I recall, he started his career fairly early,” Rarity said, carefully watching as Twilight’s confused expression gave way to a massive scowl. “I’d have to look up the exact age, but I think he was... maybe twelve or so when-...” She trailed off when Twilight gave her a look filled with pure hatred. Well, here goes nothing. In the worst case, she may realize that I had a point years down the line when she’s snuggling up against some groupie who knows how to just look pretty and be quiet...
“Oh, you think you’re so clever, don’t you?” Twilight whispered coldly. Somehow, this was much worse than the shouting that had preceded it. “Point out that yeah, there are extreme outliers who made it, so that completely invalidates my experience!”
“What was your experience, then?” Rarity asked, choosing each word carefully. “Because all of the negativity seems to just be projected onto Celestia.”
“...are you siding with her?” Twilight asked, looking both baffled and hurt. “Are you siding with Celestia against me?”
“I’m with you, darling! But unless I’m missing something, then there was nothing inherently evil in what she actually did. I mean-”
“You don’t UNDERSTAND!” Twilight snapped, once again retreating and hiding behind her anger. And with each iteration, Rarity got a better glimpse of a desperate little filly who was too terrified to admit that she may have been wrong. “SHE IS DIFFICULT! SHE IS OVERWHELMING! SHE IS CONTROLLING! SHE IS INTENSE! AND SHE IS! A! TOTAL! BI-...” Seconds passed. Twilight remained frozen in place, mouth still hanging open, as if her brain had crashed in the middle of her rant and now had to reboot. “...isn’t she?” She finally asked, suddenly looking unsure even while still being stuck in her burn-down-the-world pose.
“I don’t know,” Rarity admitted, taking a careful step towards Twilight. “Why don’t you tell me, darling?” Another step, and she was in range to gently place a hand on Twilight’s tattooed biceps.
“I...” Twilight slowly gestured with her right hand. “I... this... I mean...” Her massive adrenaline reserves seemed to have finally run out, and she was just looking tired now. “...is this what Sunset was trying to suggest?” she whispered to herself, but Rarity had more pressing concerns than to ask about one of Twilight’s friends she had never even heard of.
“Here, let’s sit.” Rarity carefully guided her onto the couch and sat down next to her. And now we wait.
It took Twilight a full minute to compose herself, and then another to sort her thoughts. During that entire time, she kept a very low profile, with her head bowed and shoulders slumped. “Thank you for making me go down this road,” she finally whispered. “For the record, this isn’t the first time I doubted myself on this. I had given AJ and Trixie the full story, but they... didn’t challenge me the way you did. No, wait, I think... they tried, but I shut them down, and they prolly figured that it was best to let my past stay in the past.” She gave Rarity a pointed look, but her eyes were filled with gratitude. “Unlike you.”
“Yes, yes, I’m a complete monster, kept only under control by the power of your NDA and your amazing looks, in that order,” Rarity played along and stuck out her tongue.
“Heh.” Twilight allowed herself a brief smirk at that. “But... after all that has happened today... after our talk just now... after my talk with Sunset just before that...”
Again with this Sunset... Rarity raised an eyebrow, but decided not to nitpick Twilight’s apparently impaired sense of time, even though it was clearly impossible that Twilight had had time to chat with anypony “just before” her talk just now.
Twilight sighed loudly. “After all of that... I think I have to accept... or at least consider that Celestia maybe didn’t actually have an evil plan.” She laughed at that. “I know, I know, this sounds like the biggest ‘Duh!’ moment ever. But... you weren’t there. Things moved so quickly... too quickly... little Twily had no time to think... or even to exist in this sudden rush of fame. And Celestia was always there. Always by my side, the perfect mentor, happy to help. At the end of every concert, she was standing backstage, waiting for me with a bouquet of flowers! She was... so... perfect. Too perfect! Nopony is just this good without having some sort of ulterior motive!” She was looking straight ahead now. “Maybe I was just overwhelmed by everything that had happened...” She turned to face Rarity, but her eyes were still focused on something miles away. “What if I didn’t quit because Celestia was setting me up to be a one-hit wonder? What if I just... needed an excuse?” Her expression slowly shifted to horror. “Did I pin an imaginary evil plan on a good pony who had my best interests in mind, just because I needed a scapegoat to feel better about chickening out from a career I feared I couldn’t handle?”
Rarity was no psychologist and thus couldn’t rely on professional training or experience to guide or advise Twilight. But she knew that Twilight was starting to spiral out of control and that there was such a thing as too much self-doubt at a time. “Things are rarely as black-and-white as we think they are,” she said after a moment of consideration and placed her hand on Twilight’s back. “I doubt that Celestia is some sort of evil mastermind, but I also doubt that she is a saint who takes young ponies under contract out of the goodness of her heart.”
Twilight abruptly got up. “But you do think that - going by what I just told you - I could have handled things better, right?”
“Well... yes,” Rarity admitted, unsure if she liked where this was going.
“And do you...” Twilight was pacing again, but at least she wasn’t looking angry or depressed anymore, so Rarity was willing to count that as a step in the right direction. “And do you think I may have... what’s the word... projected my own... no wait, that’s not how that works, isn’t it...” She clenched her fist, trying to focus harder. “Do you think my self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of experience made me paranoid about things going too well?”
“Well, in all fairness-”
“Yes or no.” There was a grim determination in Twilight’s eyes, and Rarity realized that the larger pony was using her to railroad herself towards a potentially ugly destination.
Her negativity is still there, and without Celestia to act as a target, that only leaves me... and, more importantly, herself. “...yes.”
“Do you think I made the wrong call in accusing Celestia of setting me up for failure?”
Rarity took a deep breath. “Yes,” she finally said before quickly adding, “solely based on what you told me.”
Twilight cursed quietly at that. “And you established that not all child singer careers necessarily crash and burn. So, in theory, I could’ve stayed with Celestia and still have a mainstream career to this day, right?”
“Yyyes,” Rarity allowed. Please give me a question I can work with before I have to-
Twilight pressed her palms against her eyes and groaned. “So, you think I would have been better off staying?”
-...that’ll do. “No.”
“Well, GREAT! So lemme just BEND OVER AND LET THE MAKERS FU-...” She froze in mid-curse. “...what?”
Heh. “I’m afraid that’s not a yes-or-no question, darling.”
“You-...” Twilight gestured furiously at her, only becoming more aggravated when she saw the hint of a slight smile. “WHAT do you MEAN with NO?”
“That you shouldn’t have stayed.”
“OF COURSE I SHOULD’VE STAYED!” Twilight had moved past doubt and anger and was now just very enthusiastically confused. “It’s just LOGICAL! I made the WRONG CALL! I could have handled it BETTER! I could have STAYED and made a CAREER!” She was shaking. “YES?”
“Yes.”
“SO I SHOULD HAVE STAYED!” A pause. “YES?”
“No.”
“YES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” Twilight was now seemingly drawing adrenaline from the last reserves her body had stored somewhere. Rarity figured that the singer was in for the weirdest hangover ever. “GIVE ME ONE REASON WHY I SHOULDN’T HAVE STAYED!”
“...only one?” Rarity feigned a yawn.
Twilight was by now looking ready to punch Rarity. Or herself. Or both. “Ugh, FINE. However many you LIKE.”
“Very well, then.” Rarity lazily held up her right hand and extended her index finger. “Trixie.”
“...what?” Twilight gave her a look as if she was hearing the name for the first time. “Trixie? What does Trixie have to do with-...” She suddenly grimaced. “No... Please don’t tell me you’re invoking the Power of Friendship on me!”
“Octavia,” Rarity added to the list and held up a second finger.
“By the MAKERS, you ARE!” She made a dismissive gesture when Rarity held up a third finger. “Stop. Just stop. That’s cheap.”
“Am I wrong?” Rarity asked innocently.
“Yes! Well... no. But yes! Kinda. Anyway, it’s cheap!” Twilight huffed. “Tell you what, give me one other reason why I shouldn’t have stayed!”
Rarity briefly pretended to be annoyed by Twilight moving the goalposts around. “Fine,” she said and looked at one of several closets. A spark of magic nudged the door open, revealing a dark blue evening gown.
Twilight briefly looked at it, then back at Rarity. Then she did a double-take when she remembered where she had seen this dress before. “That’s-...” She pointed at the dress and gave Rarity a wide-eyed stare. “That’s the dress you wore at my-...” Her expression yet again shifted to annoyance. “Are you invoking yourself?”
“We wouldn’t be dating now if you were some mainstream pop star, I wager,” Rarity replied airily.
“We’re actually not dating now, Miss Evaluation,” Twilight shot right back, imitating Rarity’s tone with frightening ease.
“Aside from that.” It was Rarity’s turn to be annoyed. “My point is that I don’t think a glitzy pop diva with a carefully groomed image could simply invite a fan onto the stage for a slow dance and a passionate kiss.”
“I guess so,” Twilight allowed, waving her hand back and forth.
“And moving beyond that immediate issue lies the real heart of the matter.” She slowly moved towards Twilight and carefully placed a hand over the other mare’s heart. “It’s about who and what you are.” She looked straight into Twilight’s eyes, trying to ignore how beautiful the taller mare was, or how Twilight’s blush likely mirrored her own. “You are not Princess Twilicorn. You never were. You are Twilight Sparkle, fierce, proud, and wild. Twilight Sparkle, caring, sweet, and kind. Those ponies downstairs? They look up to you because you are not afraid to stand up for what you believe in.”
Twilight swallowed hard. “I-...” She slowly shook her head and laughed quietly at her own inability to form sentences.
“I believe that you made the right call for the wrong reasons.” Rarity slowly pulled Twilight into a hug. “What you did in the past was misguided and based on assumptions rather than facts, regardless of whether or not history may ultimately prove you right. Still, leaving your old, pre-assembled career behind allowed you to find your own voice, and I couldn’t be happier with the results. You are Twilight Sparkle, Princess of the Villian Court, the sum of all your good and bad calls.”
Twilight was hugging her tightly. “Dang,” she finally whispered, “that was the longest fortune cookie quote ever.”
“You’re a dork!” Rarity laughed at that and gently slapped the back of Twilight’s head.
“The biggest one there is,” Twilight admitted and grinned before letting go of Rarity. “Seriously, though... thank you. I think I’ve often come close to the realization that I may have been wrong back then, but... I never dared to think things through like that because I... because I had been... scared.” She fished her cellphone out of her pocket and idly tossed it from hand to hand. “Scared to admit I had screwed up. Scared that I had thrown away a good thing. Scared that this all here-” She gestured at herself. “-was just one long temper tantrum of a child who was... ugh, you know the rest...” She let herself fall onto the couch once again. After a moment of catching her breath, she held up her phone. “Confession time!” She tapped her display a few times, then let the phone spin lazily on her finger with a quick burst of magic.
Rarity had a feeling of what was coming, and a look at the display confirmed it. Twilight had opened her contact list, and one specific contact had been highlighted: “Celestia.”
“I’ve kept this number saved in my contact list ever since leaving her,” Twilight mused. “Never called her. And she never called me. Heck, I don’t even know if that still is her number. But...” She grabbed the phone again and let her finger hover half an inch from the green button that would start a call. “But... maybe I should try it? I mean... sure, we technically don’t know whether or not Celestia is actually evil, but... she prolly isn’t... so maybe I should... goodness, I don’t even know where to start. Maybe I should apologize? Or... just... acknowledge that mistakes were made...” She grimaced. “...by me...” Her eyes met Rarity’s. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered. “I don’t know if I’m ready. What if she’s mad? What if I’m dead to her? What if-”
“I AM... THE PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP!” Twilight’s voice suddenly blared from the speakers.
“WHAT THE ACTUAL-” Twilight yelped and chucked her phone past the room divider before awkwardly diving down from the couch, as if seeking cover under the chair next to it.
“GONNA MAKE A NEW FRIEND EVERY DAY!” The phone happily blared from Rarity’s bed.
Only now did Rarity realize that the voice was sounding like a younger version of Twilight and that she knew the happy melody. “Isn’t that ‘Princess of Friendship,’ the first Princess Twilicorn single?”
Twilight slowly got up and gave the other half of the room a wide-eyed stare. “Yes,” she whispered. “It’s the custom ringtone I gave to exactly one contact.” Her lips curled into a humorless smile. “Guess which one.” Before Rarity could answer the mostly rhetorical question, Twilight moved the room divider aside with a burst of magic and let her cellphone float into her outstretched hand. Then she held it at arm’s length, staring at the words “INCOMING CALL: CELESTIA.” The two mares exchanged brief looks. “Makers, give me strength,” Twilight finally whispered and pressed the button to accept the call before immediately tapping the loudspeaker symbol. “Ye-...” She coughed, not having expected a high-pitched squeal to come from her throat. “Yes?” she finally asked and used her free hand to pull Rarity closer for emotional support.
“My, my, my...” The voice nearly made Twilight drop her phone, probably not so much because of any trauma, but rather because it didn’t belong to Celestia. Instead, it was male, old, but still silky-smooth. “The call actually got through. I believe somepony owes me ten bits now...”
Twilight stared at the phone, then gave Rarity a wide-eyed look. Finally, she narrowed her eyes and gave the phone a dark look. “You,” she hissed.
The voice gasped, but it was fake. “Such animosity! Miss Sparkle, I believe our relationship was quite... well, maybe not exactly neutral, but at least in the realm of professional courtesy.”
“What did you do to Celestia?” Twilight asked, carefully avoiding his point.
He laughed at that. “What did I do to Celestia? Goodness, do I look like some kind of dastardly villain? The old glittermane is fine, have no fear. You just blocked all calls from numbers not in your contact list, so I borrowed her phone... and what do you know, the fallen angel has been eagerly awaiting a call from her Maker.”
Twilight let out a quiet snarl. “I’m hanging up now. And then I’m going to burn this phone.”
“Ah, always so drastic...” He sighed.
“Bye.” Twilight raised her finger to end the call.
“It’s about the band battle.”
Twilight froze, her finger less than an inch from her screen. “...what was that?”
“You heard me.”
Seconds passed. “One minute,” Twilight finally whispered and pressed the button to put the call on hold. Then she cursed quietly.
“...who is that?” Rarity finally dared to ask, and Twilight looked down at her, as if only now realizing that she was still here.
“The ‘D’ in ‘CLD,’” she replied and moved towards the door.
Well, evidently not the ‘D’ in ‘de-escalation,’ Rarity mused, then frowned. “Wait, do you mean-”
“Discord, yes.”
Twilight stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked over her shoulder. Her expression was calm, but her eyes were wide with shock.
“Fluttershy’s manager.”
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Ah man, thanks for mentioning Isekai there
I'm just glad Twili gets to talk to Rares about this whole thing! I mean, even knowing what I did about the situation that was intense!
Fluttershy's manager?! Oh, I'm gonna need a drink for the next chapter.
10002854 I think we all will.
'Cause no way in every level in Hell will that end well.
Soooo, is Sweetie secretly into shibari? Because that's some impressive rope work to tie up someone that's been established as being as strong as AJ.
Glad Twi worked out some of her issues with Rare's help.
And the chaos lord makes his presence known. Hang on everycreature, the ride's about to hit some turbulence.
10002854
I need a drink now.. oof..
Oh, poor Twilight....
She's become a Sunset in her own regard, and yet she doesn't know it does she?
10002854
10002935
I for one look forwards to this.
10003055 As do I.
Kinda surprised Fluttershy is on her do not call list. Or for that matter that Discord viewed this as a better option than calling any of 5 other people that could have easily gotten in touch with her.
10003380
It's possible Fluttershy's not on her do not call list, it might just be Discord on the do not call list and Fluttershy just won't let Discord call Twilight using her number.
Oh this will be interesting.
Yeah Celestia screwed up there but now could Fluttershy be in the same issue here.
10003525
I would imagine it would be easier to steal her phone than Celestia’s though.
10003981
But you have to remember if he does that he could lose her trust and as her manager that's a dumb idea.
10004149
Only if she finds out, and if he can’t talk his way out of it, and if she isn’t as canonical in terms of forgiveness. All things considered she might be more disappointed in Discord should she find out how stealing Celestia’s phone is a far greater bit of emotional manipulation against Twilight who might well mention it to her.
10004177
In the actual show he does not like disappointing Fluttershy so either way, do you really think he'd risk it?
But this is all beside the point because this is pretty much a what if question now.
10004186
He already did risk it. If he really needed to get in touch with her there are three other band members and I’m sure the venue has a number for Twi.
Ooohhhh shit! That's an interesting twist!
And L shall remain a mystery! Clearly, it’s Lyra. Or Limestone. Or maybe Littlepip. Wait, wrong franchise. It’s Lilly Padd.
Of all those listed, we can only have one winner. Who is it going to be?
10006430
It's more then likely Luna. Because they would have had to have been born within at least a few years of Celestia.
10008994
Yeah, Luna was obvious. I specifically didn’t mention her because I wanted to be funny.
I’ll try to do better.
... so, Fluttershy's manager is calling one of his client's opponent's regarding an upcoming competition.
Yeah. That seems totally above board. With absolutely nothing suspicious about it at all. At all.
Should be “are” there.
Nice update
10015565
Thanks, fixed!
Oh wow, there's a bit of brony hist-AAAAAA-ry.
Can this please be a thing? I love the idea of earth ponies making up abilities that make the other tribes go "Wait, can they do that?"
I also love the idea of Sweetie taking self-defense classes. Given Rarity's martial skill, it makes sense.
You can mock a mare in front of her friends, her granny, even her little sister. But spare her some dignity for her dog.
Very neat to see the Isekai create ripples in a story after the visit. I've never seen it happen outside of The League of Sweetie Belles, and that story's whole schtick is exploring the multiverse of ponyfic.
Oh my. I have several questions about the D.
... You know what I mean.
I love the saga of Princess Twilicorn as a twisted take on Celestia mentoring Twilight. There's a great Uncanny Valley effect to it, so close, yet so wrong. Forst in how Twilight portrays it, and then in how she reacted. It works. It works amazingly well when Twilight isn't blinded by the glory and grandeur of the Princess of the Sun and has trends to look at. And that makes it all the more tragic. Even without the context of the Isekai, invoking Sunset works so well.
Lovely Raritism.
Delicious, delicious irony.
Perfect. Not just the role, but also how it acts a mirror to Twilight's own career path.
Magnificent chapter all around. Thank you for it.
DUN DUN DUUNNNN!
Love this!
All they need now is for RD to show up to see how Rarity's interview went.
10016746
When can we expect a new update? We need more!
10151955
When can we expect a new chapter?
My brain hurts so much!!!!!
This is hilarious insanity that just barely manages to hold itself together, and I very much want to see more of it.
I look forward to whenever you put together the next piece.
10151955
Update?
Back to read this story again and still eager for the next chapter.
10151955
Update?
Update??
Hiya. Still enjoying the story, but I am curious if you are continuing it or not?
10641432
Thank you for the kind words! And I am, but 2020 has just kicked my emotional behind on a cosmic scale. 2021 is looking somewhat better, so here's hoping.
Hope all is well! Reread this as still think it is awesome. Can't wait to see more!
Re-read both this and the Tempst Blueblood story since the new update. Both are still amazing reads. Hoping that 2021 is a better year for you and am excited for future updates.
Damn I returned back to re read it again and wow I still love it..really great work and hoping to see more in the future!
Okay, I am loving this Twilight. She really does exude both S1 Twilight vibes as well as (ironically) Princess Twilight vibes. She's the leader and the nerd and gets very worked up over things. This fic really does a good job in exploring the parts of Twilight that fell by the wayside as the show progressed, but in a context that feels more like the later show. It's been very fun to read, and here's hoping to more, if you decide to update this.
Oh, and Rarity was perfect as usual, but then again, when isn't she?
Still such a cliffhanger.
I hope this story isn't dead, it is one of my top 10 favorites I've ever read on this site and I would love to read more.