• Member Since 21st Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

sonadam9


Comments ( 3 )

Not bad.

Suggestions on how to improve:

  • I'd put "Rarity thinks for a moment or so" either before her line or as a separate paragraph
  • "Rarity walks away laughing to find a seat" should have begun a new paragraph.

I think the part about Rainbow Dash's interest in trains is kind of cute.

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