- Member Since 19th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 12th, 2021
Arcainum
I write stories about pony superheroes and cruel and unusual tragedies and pony superheroes who suffer cruel and unusual tragedies. I'm currently looking both fine and OK.
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I am so very, very sorry.
I write proper stories too, honest.
974266 You should be. You should be.
974266 I... I don't... uh... umm...
I'm just going to give this a thumbs up and walk away. Slowly. While facing you...
I'm honestly disappointed you didn't have her come five times and say that it wasn't enough.
Shame on you, sir.
Shame on you.
I would ask where the Tartarus you came up with this idea, but then my mind would have to travel to the same place that yours did. I'm content to let my membrane stay cozy and warm where it is.
mareyonnaise - the product of way too much time putting words together with the Tasmanian Devil on a demonic Scrabble board.
The metaphors. The metaphors.
Bearded love has now entered my vocabulary. Thanks for that.
After all this I only have one question. Was it good for you?
Um, that's all I got. Get well soon, my friend.
what.
976600 ... Ffffffffffffffffff
976623 Yes. Yes, it was good.
976627 I KNOW, RIGHT
Well that happened.
FUCK YES.
...oh god, what? I can't even...words...just...yar?
static.fjcdn.com/large/pictures/a7/8f/a78fa4_2337236.jpg
Hope that stupid picture thing works, fits this story perfectly, almost "like a fire extinguisher in an ankle sock."
I'm...I'm just gonna...gonna run now.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHhhhhh....
I like his Homeric mastery of words
I believe that may be the most metaphorifically amazing work ever. At least from a genitalia point of view.
No idea how or why that story idea happened, but sometimes you just have to work those demons out of you.
what is this i dont even
No, seriously, what. What horrors have been visited upon you to spawn this fic? What demons have you pacted with?
I think something deep inside me has been forever broken this day.
Still not the weirdest thing I've read by this fandom.
But fuck me if it isn't close.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3890_small.jpg
To coin a phrase: what in the horsecocking fucknuggets had just been plunged into my brain?
976661 yes. yes it did.
976669 thank you Wil =3
976986 I am a wordsmith of impeccable calibre.
977087 dammit, everyone, they're similes! SIMILEEEEEEEEES! But also thank you. And yes. To quote my chidhood hero and close personal friend Ace Ventura, the demons have been exorcised.
977297 iunno I had a bad day at work *shrug* Sorry if you broke.
977359 I can feel the respect draining from you =(
977400 I'm really still not sure about the map of Equestria. Just... what.
977493 There's a title at the top, silly.
977541 The best medicine.
'...vigorously exploring her seeping spermsponge.'
'Twilight squealed like a Clanger on helium as the gargantuan girl-gherkin pierced her.'
'And there, in the window, a miniscule capillary Rarity waved.'
Suddenly, I feel a strong urge to take a very long walk around the park and rethink what the hell I'm doing with my life. I might be a while...
And here I was, lamenting another author's dark/comedy clop's lack of rotational spit roasting.
I really didn't get the beards though... I felt their characters were much too undeveloped, and then after the climax of the story, they were never mentioned again.
This was pure gold
The innuendos.......The metaphors and similes......THE BEARDS......
THEY WERE FREAKING GLORIOUS
"Celestia plugged her pupil’s clunge canal with the tenderness and subtlety of a fist to the tits."
"Twilight squealed like a Clanger on helium as the gargantuan girl-gherkin pierced her."
"With a flick or her wings and a “GOTTA GO FAST,” Celestia spun Twilight as hard as she could"
This is one of the two reasons I read clop.
1.Proper sexy stories
2. FREAKING INSANE SHIT LIKE THIS
and this is the absolute strangest, most awesome clop I have ever read.
I thank you sincerely and will forward the bill from all my therapy sessions
........and all the fake beards I'm gonna buy.
Damn.
That got weird fast.
"Rarity’s mewling cries were drowned out only by the sizzling of their audience’s moustaches as they were furiously twiddled."
mspaintadventures.com/advimgs/ps/ps1054.gif
Had to be done.
In any case... wow. Just... wow. I hope you feel better, having written this.
...
WOW.
This is the best worst thing I've read in a while.
WTF
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!
Reading this was like looking upon the face of God... and noticing a startling resemblance to Steve Buscemi. Thumbs up, I think?
I think i just experienced ultimate greatness. from this point forward my life shall be a hollow husk of its former self, for nothing can compare to this.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7a8dle4Cl1rttqkm.jpg
The word "manly" shall now be used with caution.
what is this i don't even know
Pretty funny.
Damn it is not right snickering in the corner of your room with an erection so thanks for that you ass
"I don't even know what ponies are supposed to cry out with!"
Gosh, this is freaking amazing!!
I... I don't even know... I don't even know how to explain this close-to-pure clopfic! You sir have a respec point from me. ^^
Truly, this is how the Celestia/Chrysalis showdown should have gone:
Chrysalis: Shining armor's love for you is powerful - it has made me more powerful than CELESTIA!
Celestia: I AM Equestria!
Chrysalis: What the -- O GOD THE BEARD!!
This is pretty much the best thing ever. You did an amazing job XD
Umm... take my whats, take all of them.
This story has been approved by the commity of the pony-minded.
Thumbs up
How is it possible to fit so many descriptive words and metaphors into a story?
i.imgur.com/1ovMQ.jpg
...Beautiful.
On the rubble of their foolish forebears will these noble chinspawn erect a new, more enlightened age, where all beardkind may live together in hairmony.
The guys above me have come up with the best rebuttals, so all I've got left is...
Really?
1220449
Beards.
I'm feeling emotional connected to a beard. That's new.
WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH MY LIFE?
...okay?
please let whatever children I may ever have be yours
1220337 Honestly considering writing more, I'll be honest.
1220449 T_T
1220677 If I made just one person get feels from these beards, my goal is accomplished.
1222122 Take ideas that aren't worth writing and write them anyway. IT'S WHAT I DO =3
1224510 does this make up for Turning The Page
1224956
dude dude
like
say you poked me in the shin with a needle
and then the next day you gave me a billion Kuwaiti dinars
this is that feeling
(besides the 12 hour plane ride gave me ample time to give me a basis on which to attack your other stories so I'm too bloated with blood to drink more)
I want to ask what the heck I just read, but... somehow I just don't think I would get a useful answer. This is pretty darn special.
THE QUICKENIIIIIING!!!!!
Before reading: Okay, TC said this would be weird. Let's do this!
After Chapter1: What.