J'accuse...!
It was such a silly little thing, the theater, Celestia mused. So much time and effort put into the production by so many ponies. She had no doubt her student had poured her soul into researching and crafting the perfect script to capture the historical significance of Celestia's first raising of the sun. Indeed, she wondered if Spike might have coaxed Twilight out of including scenes depicting the ancient unicorns drained of their magic living the rest of their days in the harems to honor and reward their sacrifice.
Not to mention Rarity's contributions of the period accurate clothing, or Applejacks labor designing the sets, or even Pinkie Pie's questionable expertise with the special effects. Indeed, the theater was a silly thing. All that energy invested into one chance, just one half hour of performance.
And yet, as she quivered before her sister's glare piercing her like daggers of ice, she was reminded that there was no true sanctuary to be found in the arts. Rooted to the spot as she was, among the decorations and behind the curtain and among the cast and crew she had assisted, Celestia was only one of many that had submitted their labor, and must now face the music.
"I want you to admit it," Luna said, in an all too calm and even tone.
Celestia gulped, but even that slight motion prompted Luna to furrow her eyebrows and twist the knives of her blue eyes even deeper. "S-sister, please. The audience called for an encore. Let's just calm down--"
"Admit it," Luna snarled.
Celestia's mouth snapped shut, and she couldn't find the strength to open it again.
Twilight Sparkle inched her way between the two of them. "Uh, maybe we can just talk about what happened? Celestia was just doing what she could to help us out. We forgot to repair our prop for the sun and she just raised it a little--"
A band of bright blue magic snapped around Twilight's muzzle, and Starlight Glimmer dragged her to the side a heartbeat too late.
"Oh, Twilight," Luna said. "Dear, sweet, simple little Twilight. I know exactly what she did. She knows what she did. I know she knows that I know what she did. I want her to admit it." She tilted her head to side, and Celestia fought down a whine. "Didn't we agree, beloved sister, that manipulating the sun and moon to assist Princess Twilight's friendship festival was a gross misuse of our power?"
"That..." Celestia swallowed and tried again. "That was different. She had so many other ponies around to help her, and Songbird Serenade is a professional. She could sing on a street corner for tips and make it sound--"
A burst of light cut her off, burning between the two of them, roaring with blue flame. "A lantern spell, dear Tia. It's only one step above the illumination spells Star Swirl taught us on our first day of magic school." Luna extinguished the blaze. "Rules apply to everyone, isn't that right? I've spent so much time since my return lamenting my mistakes--even tormented myself with the Tantabus--and now you use the sun as your own personal plaything because one measly little play might go wrong?"
"They said that everyone in Equestria knew I was--"
"Two dozen ponies at most!"
Rainbow Dash jolted upright. "Wait, what? They all lied to me?"
"Luna, the sun was up for two dozen seconds at most!" Celestia said, as if Rainbow had said nothing. "It was a special occasion, and it won't happen again!"
"How many times did I beg for the moon to stay in the sky just a minute longer? I've lived by our rules without complaint for years now, and you throw them out the window on a whim?! You... you..." Luna clenched her eyes shut, throwing her face this way then that, until she finally reared up and slammed her hooves to the ground, and her voice exploded, "You hypocritical SOW!!!"
Silence reigned supreme as her little ponies, courageous as they were when they faced down all of Equestria's enemies, obeyed their survival instincts when confronted by a hurricane and hunkered down together.
Celestia felt the ancient magic swirl inside of her, along with her indignation. It had been centuries since the last time she had used the Canterlot Voice before this day, but she decided she quite liked the feeling of it. "You dare speak that way to me?!"
Luna's mane blew away before her fury, but her sister's face remained defiant. "I was banished a thousand years for this same stunt! What repercussions--"
"You call sororicide the same stunt! What right have you to judge--"
"Every right as Princess of Equestria! I paid a thousand years! What sacrifice will you make for this transgress--"
"None, you manipulative--!"
Waves of sound struck each other, coalesced, and a bolt of energy split forth, sending Spike flying through the lowered curtain. "Princesses!" Twilight cried, "Please! Stop this and think!"
Luna paused, but it was only to take a breath, and blue sparks of magic ignited as she inhaled. "I DEMAND SATISFACTION!"
The force of her power staggered Celestia, but her retaliation shot out with righteous golden fury. "YOUR DEMANDS ARE FLATULENCE IN A STORM!"
Luna reared once more, power gathering at her muzzle one last time. "FO KRAH--!"
Celestia did the same, the brilliance of her magic matching her sister's. "YOL TOOR--!"
"Everyone, quick!" Pinkie Pie tore out her mane, and spread it wide. "Out of the universe!" She dove into it, and her mane vanished behind her.
The sisters struck the ground simultaneously, and the final words of their screams died in the clash of sound, magic, and rage that engulfed them all, leaving only pain for Twilight and her remaining friends, the pain of a midnight thunderclap reverberating through their skulls and bones ad infinitum, the pain of more force and sound pouring in no matter how tightly they squeezed their ears, and they knew the terror of crying for mercy yet knowing their pitiful voices mattered nothing in the face of cosmic destiny.
Twilight ignited her horn, hoping to flee, hoping to drag whoever she could through her magical escape route, but she only howled all the more, as the magic screamed against her, quivering with the same fear and pain no matter what location she tried to touch, as if the world itself shook before the sisters' furies.
And then it was over.
Luna stood, panting, sweating, and vengeful.
Celestia stared her down, defiant, exhausted, and unbowed.
"You will give me pancakes," Luna said. "Chocolate chip--and none for yourself, only the plain!--every morning for two weeks."
Growling, Celestia flicked her eyes and forth, considering. "One week!"
Luna snorted, turned, and left.
Elsewhere, twisted and entwined in her bed sheets, Adagio Dazzle lit a cigarette.
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.....what did adagio have to do with this?.....also.....did everypony die
camo.derpicdn.net/5041e4ea79db1faae3174cd604ba42d7001be676?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.kym-cdn.com%2Fentries%2Ficons%2Foriginal%2F000%2F017%2F204%2FCaptainAmerica1_zps8c295f96.JPG
8894475
Two of the most powerful beings in the multiverse just had a conflict. Apparently Dagi felt that through the mirror and despite not being able to feed on it anymore it was still a satisfying experience of the likes one needs a cigarette afterwards.
8894475
post coital satisfaction.
it was such a clash between sisters that she felt it in her special place all the way over there.
8894475
Pretty much 8894576. She enjoys voices.
8894511
Imagine is Celly and Lulu tried to Dragon Shout each other out of existence during the Nightmare Moon fiasco. The Everfree would probably look a lot different now.
Wat
Big Lipped Alligator Moment much?
Damn Luna, it was her onesversary.
8894637
Good thing they had a millennium to fix the damage!
8894739
Understandable
8894810
Nothing wrong with lighting up after various comings and goings...
8894828
Hey, rules are rules. Standards apply to everyone or no one.
Celestia did it to help a friend on a special occasion.
Luna did it because she's a whiny little b*tch.
8895295
Apparently the Friendship festival during the movie didn’t count. ;)
8895341
Nothing in MLP is canon. I think a senile Twilight is telling stories to small children.
even when i saw that look on Luna's expression i knew that she would obviously do something like that XD
8895295
I think that the point still stands. Luna tried to keep the moon in the sky outside of its schedule when she became Nightmare Moon, and while there was a lot of other things that went on at the same time, and we all know that refusing to lower the moon was hardly the worst thing she did that day, the conflict nonetheless started with her refusing to lower the moon. That matter is, therefore, settled: The sun and moon are only to appear in the sky according to their schedules.
Celestia deviated from that schedule, and you know what? You're right; it was a special circumstance, and it was to help a friend. It was also done without permission. Celestia and Luna rule together as equals, don't they? Well, apparently not, if Celestia can just raise the sun whenever she feels like it!
What?
8895662
8896143
Ah.
Wait, what's that about a harem?
Pinkie's coming back...right?
Surprised no one went full Fus Ro Dah on anyone. But that was some serious Canterlock on Celestia's part. But, then, she's had a thousand years more practice than her sister.
As usual, the fandom delivers better story content than the actual show. Really great read, Luna is criminally underutilized in the series.
Royal Canterlot Voice = the Thu'um
headcanon accepted
now if they just used better shoutsThe inevitable fanfic.
I have to say, as far as rejoinders go, "YOUR DEMANDS ARE FLATULENCE IN A STORM!" is pretty high on the list of the best.
I was kind of hoping Twilight might assert the Friendship Mantle and put them both to shame, but I suppose I should give her a few more centuries before she's ready for that kind of stunt. In any case, delightful bit of siren-pleasuring madness.
Who's Jack Hughes?
8894637 Ah, you're talking about old Mount Everfree?
This went so much better than it could have, my trust in you was not misplaced. :)
8910247
Glad you enjoyed it so much, and thanks for the review!
I guess it's a sign of my age that people need to think so hard on that last line. Blasted kids not understanding my symbolism.
Wut?
What did I just read.
I hope Twilight and co are ok. Their eardrums were probably ruptured; that's a painful thing, and I speak from experience.
On that note, good Skyrim reference? And intense verbal fight, too.
I CALL HAX! Also, L
L. I was hoping someone would do a story about this issue. Luna's face says it all. Bravo.
Whoa, whoa, wait! Hold the phone! The rest of thier lives? Living every red-blooded guy's dream and all they had to do was give up all thier magic potential?
Where do i sign up?
I shall have to remember that one.
Every so often I like to come back to this story and have myself a chuckle.
All I've got to say is, "VEN GAAR NOS!"
10403972
Good to know people still enjoy my stuff. Thanks!