Pony fangirl who likes to write horse stories
Adagio is found sulking in an alley by a one miss Sunset Shimmer. Sunset manages to invite Adagio into her home for a friendly talk. The Dazzlings have had it pretty rough since their defeat, and Adagio is teetering over her breaking point. Could Sunset maybe get through her tough exterior and convince her she's in need of help?
- Not a sundagio shipfic -
Cute ship though. Not my favorite Sunset pair, but it's cute.
Rated T for: mild language
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I like how this turned out
8891763
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Though, if you don't mind, could you give me an example of something I could've done better? Mistakes are for learning from after all. I'd like to try and make every story better than the last.
I was a little bit torn as I was reading this, because I’m not the biggest fan of how you show thoughts and feelings from both characters simultaneously. I’m not saying it’s wrong, just so we’re clear, just that it’s not my own preference. Were this a longer, more complex story, I probably would’ve found it rather irritating.
That being said, I think I might’ve liked the story less if you hadn’t done it that way, because I think it would’ve been easy for Sunset to come across as being overbearing if it were only her thoughts I was privy to, or only Adagio’s. Sunset could easily have seemed pushy, since she’s not just offering help but actively trying to get Adagio to accept it. But getting affirmations that Sunset’s sincere and also that Adagio actually does want to say yes was great, because it meant the situation was less Sunset being pushy and more Adagio being prideful and stubborn, which was perfect
I liked this, in other words. Thanks for writing it, and I hope you feel the urge to write more of the Dazzlings sometime, because there can never be enough fanfiction of them
I really hope that we see the Dazzlings again one day.
A good story.
8892189
Oh absolutely, the return of the sirens is pretty high up on my wishlist for the show. The cameo in the season 7 finale was cool and all, but I really want them back as significant characters.
And thanks
8892368
Well I'll remember to keep that in mind regardless. Thanks for letting me know. Constructive criticism is most appreciated. :)
Very nice. Could you maybe write a sequel where they accept the help and it shows the day to day livings of the four of them in the same house?
8897348
That sounds like a fun story, though if I were to write a story about the four of them living together, it'd probably be separate from this story and not relate to it in any way. Even so, maybe I'll write something like that at some point in the future. Who knows?
Nice little character interaction. Seems like a good beginning to a story. Got a continuation planned?
8927522
Nah, this is probably gonna stay a one shot. Maybe sometime down the road I'll try to write a short sequel/epilogue chapter. But as of now, that isn't on my to do list.
Sunset has her own house big enough so what if she ask the Dazzlings to live with her?
8941555
Well I mean,, that's exactly what Sunset did here. And Adagio turned her down.
8941652
But has Sunset talked to Aria and Sonata as well?
8941836
I guess not. Although, I'm sad to say this is a one shot and will probably not be continued. But if you'd like a hypothetical, I'd say Sonata would be the most open to the idea. Aria and Adagio both have a bit of stubborn pride though.
8941906
Aria's more of an 'As long as Sunset's house has great conditions and an empty room for herself' pride.
Interesting approach. And I appreciate that the problem wasn't solved in 2000 words or less. It's hard sometimes to ask for, or accept, help. And I can't imagine how much tougher it would be to accept it from someone who you hold responsible for your problems. Nice job.
Amazing!
Amazing !
You can has review!