• Published 26th Apr 2018
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Life of Twi - Muggonny



Read a book, you uncultured swine.

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Chapter I: The King of Quivering Cowardice Meets His End

I
Home
(the land above the Dark Part)
____________________

“Twilight, it’s time for bed!”

Wretched mare.

“I neeth thu spith!” I yell from my stepping stool, mouth full. I spit the frothy minty foam into the sink and turn on the faucet, washing it down the drain and then washing it out of my mouth. I hate brushing my teeth. You have to do it twice a day and if you don’t, there’s a chance you could get cavities. Getting cavities means no more candy, no more candy means no more sugar, and no more sugar means no more artificial happiness.

That, and I hate the frothiness of the toothpaste. It always stings my gums and makes my eyes water. I don’t know how adults can handle it! Normally I would use my FunCrest toothpaste to brush my teeth, which is a blue, flakey paste with an awful bubblegum flavor, but my big brother was in a hurry to catch the carriage to boot camp this morning, wasn’t paying attention, and grabbed the wrong tube. That buttface.

My tongue slid across the back of the smooth surface of my teeth, feeling the unoccupied gums that left a double gap in the top middle row of my jaw. I lost the two pieces earlier today during lunch when I bit into a raw potato. I showed them to Mother, seeing if she knew what to do, and she said to put it under my pillow so that the Tooth Fairy would come to collect it and leave me a bit. And since it’s two teeth instead of one, she may leave an extra bit.

Admittedly, the thought of someone breaking into my room and leaving money in exchange for nonvital organs is kind of creepy. For starters, what if I use the money to buy more candy (or potatoes, I don’t know)? That means I would lose more teeth and the tooth fairy would have to give me more money, eventually having no money. Also, isn't "tooth" singular? This is two teeth we're talking about here, the plural form, wouldn't this be a job for the "Teeth" Fairy?

Well, that was my attempt at humorizing it. Doesn’t make it any less creepy, but it still works nonetheless. Although I do in some way dread the thought of waking up to find a lump in my pillow, where I would dart up and look under it to find a hoof connected to a pony with frilly wings and fake eyelashes standing at my bedside.

I walked down the hallway and turned the corner to my bedroom, where I met eye-to-eye with the babysitter that takes care of me when mom or dad can't—Princess Cadence, who was sitting on my bed.

“Are you ready?” she said, putting on an almost obnoxious smile.

“Yep!” I apologize for my lack of formal vocabulary.

I got into bed and she tucked me in. When I was fully enwrapped in my blanket-burrito, she made eye contact with me in an uncomfortable sort of way, almost as if trying to peer into my soul, the soul I put up for disclosure in Tartarus at the age of three. “Are you going to be asleep tonight?” I nod my head. “Good. The Tooth Fairy won’t come unless you’re sleeping. And if you pretend to sleep just because you want to see her, she might not come ever again. Do you want that?” I shake my head. “Good. Try to get some sleep, Twi, and one day your teeth will grow up big and strong!”

I nod, but then I say, “Thu you really hath thu go thu Throthingham? Whothe going thu look afther me? I prefer spenthing the summer with you!”

She provided her answer with a soft sigh. “Sorry Twilight, but I have a friend I promised I would visit over the summer. I already have my bags packed and my train arrives tomorrow morning. There’s no getting out of this.” She punctuated that with a smug smile. “Now why don’t you get some sleep, and I’ll come and visit you in the morning before I leave.”

“Will you bring donuts?” Because I should probably take advantage of her generosity while it last.

She chuckled. “Yes, I’ll bring donuts.”

When the conversation ended and the deal was made, she began to sing.

Hush now, quiet now

It’s time to lay your sleepy head

Hush now, quiet now

It’s time to go to bed

The song repeated for four more verses and ended when she heard my light snoring. Even with my eyes closed, I could still feel her smug smile glaring down at me.

I hardly heard her leaving, but as soon as I heard the door to my bedroom click, I opened my eyes and sat up in bed.

It was time.

Even in the dark room, I knew exactly where to navigate. I threw the sheets off that kept me cozy and warm (but not before rubbing away the spot where that wretched pink mare left her mark), and jumped down to the cool embrace of the floor, where I proceeded to plod over to a toy box shaped like a pirate’s chest sitting against the wall on the other side of the room. I pull it away from the wall so that I could open it all the way (it had sort of a hump on the lid that prevented me from keeping it open if I tried propping it against the wall) and I threw the lid up, carefully observing the occupants.

Several toys jutted out in a seemingly large pile (don’t mean to brag). Most of what was useless was intertwined with some jump rope or pom-pom ribbon, but everything I needed was neatly piled right next to the cacauction pile: a one-eyed cat; a stuffed bear, white as fresh winter snow; a silver plastic soldier I “borrowed” from my big brother a few weeks ago; a potato with teeth marks around its edge; a raggy doll with yarn-for-hair and button eyes. Slowly, one at a time, I took them out and lined them up into a neat formation.

Making sure I had everything in order, I closed the lid to the pirate chest, push it back against the wall, and turned around. Blank eyes stared at me, awaiting my orders. Each toy was suddenly a living, breathing sapient.

There was Snuffle Bear (Snuggle Bear was his original name, but I decided to change it to “Snuffle” Bear because it sounds more menacing. That, and I had Mother bleach him white so that enemies could see the blood of their comrades a little easier.), who was rubbing a sore spot on his back from having to spend the majority of the day cramped inside of a box; Iron Soldier, a simple soldier in a cheap, plastic suit, modeled after the original Iron Soldier from the Iron Soldier comics. He always held a stoic demeanor that looked intimidating. Really the best way I can summarize him; Double Vision the One-Eyed Kitty, who only had one eye but made up for it with her keen sight. It is estimated that her vision is doubled by the number of lives she has left (four). She was giving herself a bath (gross); a potato with teeth marks around its edge, sitting and awaiting orders like a good soldier (Mental Note: Give this one a gold star after all of this is over); Buckaroo Yee-Haw from the classic Buckaroo Yee-haw book series. She doesn’t do much, other than spin a rope in the air and yell, “Yee-haw!” over and over again. I’ll keep an eye out for some knots that need any of her expertise; and finally there was my most trusted companion (with the possibility of also being associated as “friend”), Smarty Pants, who sat there, making sure her knife collection was sharp (she has a knife collection for some reason, don’t know why).

Smarty Pants is a smarty pants. That is the only real way to describe her. I mean, sure you could pick out her yarny hair or button eyes, possibly even her grey and raggy coat. But Smarty Pants is ultimately a smarty pants, as that’s what she is good at, as that is what I’m good at. So we get along pretty easy. She held a placid stare, masking the obvious effort she was putting into trying not to exert her egotism, showing the lesser swines who the real ring-leader was.

“Athenthon!” I billow to my companions. Everyone immediately stood at attention, holding a serious demeanor like one of the soldiers from that wretched Princess’s Royal Guard. As they did, I walked down the line, carefully examining each of them, checking that they were ready for what was about to happen: we were about to face fear itself. The King of Quivering Cowardice.

“We hath waithed yeahs ‘pon yeahs preparing fo’ this moment. Now the thime hath come thu sthand in the wake of the thusth thath was sethleth one yeah ago thuday.” As I gave my inspiring speech, I quickly took notice of how everyone (but Smarty Pants, of course, who knew better) was trying to hold back fits of laughter. Taking a moment to compose my powerful demeanor, I turn to Snuffle Bear, staring him in the eyes, making sure my dagger-like gaze pierced down into him until he submitted.

“Why thu you laugh?” I ask. Politely. There’s a reason why I meditate.

Snuffle Bear looked down the line at everyone else, then looked at me. I could see that he was on the verge of breaking into a nervous sweat. “Wuh-well Lady Twi, eh-it’s just that you—well, you’re teeth are gone and well—I don’t know how to put this, I mean—I mean, you are high and mighty and—” he gulped, “—fearsome after all. S-so I guess the reason eh-everyone is laughing is be-because, because…”

“Because why?”

He choked for a moment. “Well… because you sound adorable.”

Even the air was punctuated by silence.

Adorable? Preposterous! Hippopotamus! Preposterous hippopotamus! “Gah! I thoulth hath known loothing my fronth theeth woulth hath gothen me inthu this prethickamenth.”

Turning away from the cowering bear and worried soldiers, my horn enveloped into a bright lilac aura, and I felt a warmth go through my jaw. Not a second later did I have a nice pair of newer, better teeth. As soon as I turn back around, showing off my pearly whites, everyone broke into applause at my display of advanced magic.

“Twi,” said Smarty Pants, astonishment in her voice. “How did you do that? I’ve never seen anyone regrow their teeth that fast before! That takes talent!”

“Yes,” I said. “Well, I’m a talented pony. Now, let us get back to where we were.” The excitement in the room ceased for a moment as everyone began listening carefully to what their master had to say. “This mission is of the utmost importance. We are about to go against a labyrinthine of obstacles and face our greatest fears to date. Some of you may not survive, and that is expected. I would be deeply shocked if all of you were to come out unscathed. But you have proven to be my finest warriors nonetheless, so I assume you will all fight with great chivalry, dedication, and other synonymous things.

“He is strong, he is fast, and he is clever, but we are all of those things times infinity—no, infinity-plus!” I point to the closet on the other side of the bedroom, next to the bed I sleep on. “The moment we walk through that door, there will be no turning back. We will be exploring the castle underground, the land between Middle Earth and Tartarus. The Land In-Between. The Dark Part. There is no light that shines but the light from our lanterns and the light from our goal.

“Aside from the labyrinthine of obstacles, we will reach the King of Quivering Cowardice no matter what the losses are and end his reign of terror so that I may take his place as the New Terror. With this victory, we will conquer fear itself!

I punctuate my speech with a fierce battle cry. My companions responded with cheers and condescending jeers directed towards the King and fierce battle cries all around. They patted each other on the backs and gave inspiring remarks. “Stay safe.”; “Fight with honor.”; “We will win this for sure.”; “I’m a potato, I will fry.”; “The King dies tonight.”; “Warrior’s Pride.” This truly is going to be a battle worth remembering.

“Quiet down, quiet down please.” They did as told, awaiting further instructions. “We will get everything together and leave in half an hour. When the half-hour is up, I expect all of you to be lined up in front of the closet. Smarty Pants!” I point to my most trusted companion, who responded with a salute. “Fetch me my sword. Buckaroo Yee-Haw, make sure we have enough rope for the journey; Potato, check that everyone’s knapsacks are prepared and full of all the necessary supplies; Double Vision, draw me a bath; Iron Soldier, provide everyone with their weapons and make sure they know how to use them properly so that none of us get a knife stuck in the back of our heads; Snuffle Bear—” I stared at Snuffle Bear contemplatively for a moment. He stared back in exasperation. “Do something useful.” He looked down sadly.

“Is everyone ready?” I look down the line, making sure everyone had a ready-set-go look on their face. We were set. “Good. Time starts now!” Suddenly, the room became a flurry of activity. To say that I am pleased with my army is an understatement—I am proud of my army. They always listened, only ever asking very little questions, seemingly only when it matters that they do.

We are going to win this for sure. I just know it.

I walk around the room, inspecting everyone’s progress. Not a minute later did Smarty Pants walk up to me brandishing my ruby-hilt sword in its sheath. “Your sword milady,” she said, presenting it to me with a mock bow.

Grasping it with my lilac aura, I took the sword, fitted the strap over my head, and hung the sheath against my hip. “Thank you, Smarty Pants. Much appreciated.”

“When do I get one of those for myself?” she replied with a sort of jolliness in her tone.

“When you slap that pesky grin off your face.” I smile back at her. “Now go make sure Snuffle Bear isn’t doing anything stupid.”

“He’s probably already found a way.” That said and done, she stood up and left.

By the bed, Iron Soldier was picking up different varieties of weapons off the floor and testing them to make sure they were rightfully fitting and durable for the fight. I always imagined him as a spear guy, but that was only because I’ve seen the Royal Guard use spears before. I walked up to him and said. “Find anything you might use?”

He looked at me for a moment, then took an ax off the floor and started doing many different tricks with it, trying to impress me. Just as he was about to throw an overhead swing in my direction, I caught the ax with my magic and snapped it in half from the hilt. “Remember,” I said. “The King of Quivering Cowardice is not only smart, but strong. It will take more than petty sticks with blades tied at the end to defeat him. Find a more suitable weapon.” He nodded his head to confirm that the direction was understood. Definitely one of the more respectable of my companions. Never complained one bit and always understood every decision I made.

Next, I walked up to Potato, who was sitting on top of a pile of well-stuffed knapsacks. “Very good, Potato,” I said. “Look through them again just in case. Check everything off the list if you have to.”

I was about to turn around to check on Snuffle Bear when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and found Double Vision staring blankly at me, holding a small scrap of parchment in her paws. “Your bath, Monsieur Twi.”

She gave me the parchement and I looked at it, as you do when you're given a picture of something.

“This is good. But next time put the frilly flower pattern on the curtain and not inside the tub. That’s just weird.” I gave the parchment back to her and she scuttled off to find something to help out with.

I spent the rest of the half-hour polishing my armor. Lilac, like my coat. I thought the colors helped remind my companions who they were being led by. It took ten minutes to put the armor on. To be honest, it was my first time, and I struggled to keep the chestplate from falling loose, but I eventually figured it out. Soon I was clad in dominance.

We all gathered up in front of the closet, knapsacks and weapons at our sides, ready to strike. Me with my sword; Smarty Pants with her lance; Snuffle Bear with his dirk; Double Vision with nothing but her claws; Iron Soldier with his spear; Potatoe with a dicer; Buckaroo Yee-Haw with her lasso. After checking that everyone was ready, I took a moment to remind them that once we step through the door, there will be no turning back. When I was sure that everyone was ready, I turned the knob and opened the door to reveal a flight of stairs falling downwards into a black veil.

Without the tiniest bit of hesitation, we slowly trudge through the entrance into the Dark Part.

II
The Dark Part
(a thousand-year-old castle somewhere underground)
____________________

The Dark Part shines no light, aside from the light from our lanterns, and the light from our goal. With a flicker and a snap of my horn, my circle is enveloped in an aura of lilac light. We were all huddled close together, not one of us daring to shy away from the group. Not out of fear, but out of caution. There is no telling what waits for us behind the black veil.

Even Double Vision’s sharp eyes couldn’t pierce through the Dark Part. Eyes, no matter how talented they are in perception, require some form of lighting to allow you to see through darkness. I imagine a blind pony, of all ponies, would have no trouble whatsoever with making the trek through the Dark Part, someone who is trained to navigate through the darkness.

I am no blind pony, but I am a mare of extraordinary talent. And I sleep without a nightlight. This is hardly living up to my expectations.

Taking the lantern that hung off the side of my knapsack like a keychain, I unlatch the small gate that protects the candle inside and hovered the tip of my horn where a bulb of light emanated directly above the wicker. After a few seconds, I felt the warmth of a lilac flame against my forehead. Closing the gate again and relatching it, I held it out for one of my companions to carry. Smarty Pants took it in her maw, taking a moment to tie her hair back so that it didn’t seep between the bars and into the flame.

Looking ahead, I realized that we were nearing the end of the flight of stairs as a rotting door came into my visage. A sigh of relief escaped my lips, as I thought we would be traveling downward for hours just to get to phase one. I knew we would make it eventually, but this quickly? The King must be really eager to see us. Better not keep him waiting.

Speeding up towards the door, skipping a few steps in my hasteful stride, I looked up at its rusty, splintery surface, taking careful notice at how well it had aged over the years. Considering that the Dark Part is a thousand-year-old castle, a cantankerous old door shouldn’t be enough to end the journey!

“Iron Soldier!” I shout for him. Some might say it was unnecessary, but then again so is having a father. Iron Soldier walked up, clad in his traditional silver armor. Without me having to utter a single demand, he walked up to the door, turned around—and bucked it open!

The door fell down in an instant. Chips of wood flew off where his hooves made impact, a cloud of dust swirled around us as the heavy wooden slab hit the floor. Within seconds we made our way through the cloud and breathed in the fresh aroma of darkness.

Some of my companions lost their place from the circle of light for a moment, but immediately filtered back into apparatus as soon as they took notice. There were many coughs and splutters, but overall we were ready to continue forward.

All the motion caused the flame in the lantern to flicker, and it wasn’t until then that I realized what a foolish mistake I had made. How could I have overlooked this? Everything should have been bitten down to the bone! If the lantern were to go out, we would be prone to the King’s servants, where they could feed on us all until we became so useless we would shrivel away.

I shuddered at the thought of having my soul sucked away from me. Nope! Not this soul! No way! I fought too hard to get to this point, I’m not going to let a simple candle decide my fate. If the flame goes out then screw it: relight the darn thing. If the candle melts away then I can just use my horn. If the unlikely event of running out of magical energy were to occur, then screw it—make a beeline for it!

I would never stand idle knowing the King has won. No. This lantern is only a puzzle piece to what it really took to defeat me. This lantern was hardly a decorative nightlight compared to my dedication.

I sat down on my haunches and my head wheeled around, examining the circle of light. Thanks to my amazing capabilities, it was able to reach out farther than the average glow of a lantern, so I was able to make out things like the walls and the ground we stood on. We were in a corridor of sorts. I would assume the dungeons. A predictable place to start the journey, but one not worth complaining about.

We began our trek down the presumably long corridor, taking careful notice at the veil of black ahead of us. Honestly, I knew nothing would pop out at us. The King liked to have fun with his victims. He didn’t believe in the concept of letting his servants feed before he got the chance to play with his food.

It wasn’t long until we came to a fork of three routes. “Oh,” I said with sarcasm on the tip of my tongue like venom on a snake’s fang. “It’s one of these things.”

Smarty Pants walked up. Even without turning my head around, I could sense the confused look on her face. “Yes, it’s an intersection, Twi. Is that a problem? Does the notion of knowing it’s an intersection bother you?” she managed to say clearly with the handle of the lantern between her jaws.

I laughed internally at that. “No. Not at all. It’s just unlike the King to resort to basic trickery. He must be really folding his cards here.” Or it was part of the castle to begin with, he was just probably testing my patience.

I would assume that no matter what, each path would lead to somewhere of some importance. Whether or not it’s a trap, I know that the King is eager to see us, so there is a slight possibility that the three paths intertwine at some point. Although the matter here is: which path is the safest?

I don’t know why, but I assume the lantern would be enough light to give her an idea of where we should go. “Double Vision?” I said, not bothering to take heed in my voice.

“Yes, Monsieur Twi?” she purred, arriving at my side.

“Can you see anything down any of those corridors?”

She stared contemplatively ahead, trying to tinker with her thoughts—which one might be the best route to take. My decision entirely relied on her own.

For a moment I saw her single eye squint towards the direction of one corridor, but then it widened back to normal passively, as if she saw nothing of any significant importance. After a few more seconds of sheer contemplation, she finally spoke. “Monsieur Twi, there’s a strange blue glow coming from the path on the left. Should we check it out?”

I nodded. “Yes. Let’s not waste time. Whether or not it’s a trap, I’m sure we’ll find our way back onto the path.”

We continued onward, taking the left route, the black veil following our circle, careful eyes watching us from the dark in places where they assumed I hadn’t noticed. Oh, I’ve noticed alright.

As soon as we made it a few steps into the new route, I took notice of a blue tinge bouncing off a far wall—the glow Double Vision had been talking about. It had an ominous sort of vibe to it—one that manifested a sign in your head that said GO AWAY; TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT; SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY. The last one felt almost mocking.

We turned the corner, and I realized what the blue tinge had come from: clustered together all over the walls, embedded deep into the stone, were great glowing blobs of runic writings. I knew what this meant as soon as I heard the whispering. There was so much whispering going on all at once that it was hard to decipher what they were saying. But I assumed that they were beckoning me, intimidating me to walk over to one of them and touch them—examine their features, try to understand them. It was all… tempting.

I jerked my head forward and released a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. I knew what these runes meant, and I had an idea what would happen if one of us were to touch them. It would be madness, to say the very least.

Out of all the ponies to be tempted by something so proning, I hadn’t expected it to be Iron Soldier. Heck, I expected Iron Soldier to be the most level-headed out of all of us. But I saw him—slowly trudging up to the wall, curiosity lighting his face.

“Iron Soldier, get over here!” I yell at him.

He turned his head and looked at me with a blank, translucent stare, then he looked back at the runes on the wall. He walked closer to it, and before he could lay a hoof on the ancient sigils to examine them, I had grasped the spear he was carrying in my magic and thrust it into the blue, archaic glow of the wall.

As I suspected, an entire chunk of the wall erupted in a blast of pure blue energy, knocking Iron Soldier off his hooves. I realized the decision I had made was a mistake because I could have just grabbed his entire body in my magic and dragged him away, and we would all emerge from the hallway unscathed. But after looking at all the dust that had accumulated on his body after the explosion, I realized I could let this be a lesson to the others.

I point a hoof towards Iron Soldier, who was busy getting up and trying to brush the dust off his coat and armor. “This is what happens when you underestimate the King. And believe me, it can get much, much worse.” I gestured to the entire corridor, to the runes all around us. “This obstacle alone took zero creative effort. He’s only trying to pique our fears a bit, give himself the power to overrule us in an instant. We can’t—we won’t—allow something like this to happen again.”

Smarty Pants walked up beside me, lantern still in her maw. “Twi, you keep saying that the King is taking it easy on us. Wouldn’t he have given us the entrance to his lair then? Wouldn’t he want to get to us when we’re ripe with fear instead of buttering us up first? Why would we start out in the dungeon and not the top of the castle?”

For a moment I sat and contemplated this. The King was buttering us up, he wanted us to feel more fear, but he was using cheap tactics to do so. What message was he trying to send to us?

My thoughts were cut short when I heard an ear-piercing screech emanate from Snuffle Bear’s own vocals. He was pointing to the section of the wall that had blown up, a sizable hole now in its place. In the hole were several skulls stacked on top of each other in perpendicular rows, caked in thick layers of concrete. My pupils nearly dilated in shock.

“Muh-muh-Monsieur Twi, why are there skulls in th-the wall?” Double Vision tried to cower in the middle of the group for protection. I turned to her, a new fire in my eyes. Mustering all of the energy I possessed, I slapped her in the face.

“Get a hold of yourself, Double Vision!” I billow in her ears, hoof digging into the scruff of her neck. “We need everyone on top of their game if we’re going to make it to the King! You can’t show your fear!”

She shivered for a moment, then said respectfully. “Ya-yes Monsieur Twi. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

It was harsh, I know. It pained me to yell at Double Vision like that. Out of everyone in the group, she was my second favorite for her cunning skills, cleverness, and ability to draw awesome bathtubs. It was especially harsh that I yelled at her and not Snuffle Bear for screaming like a little filly, but then again I expected something like that to come from him eventually. Matter of fact, I think the only reason why I brought Snuffle Bear along is so he can be the anchor. If everything goes wrong, he will be the first one to die, possibly giving us enough time to make haste and escape.

I sighed. “There’s no need to apologize.” I looked at her, then down at her hooves, then into the piercing gaze of the skulls in the wall. “Fear strikes at us in the most unsuspected of times.”

Oh, how I would eventually come to live up to that statement.

III
The Statue of the Misshapen Prince
(on the path of the King's lair)
____________________

We were quick to learn that the dungeons of the Dark Part only go down. As soon as we cleared the corridor with the rune traps, we turned a corner and were met with a flight of stairs going downward. Having no other choice, we walked down, taking careful precaution with each step.

The flame still burned with everlasting passion, its end seeming to be nowhere near at the moment. And I could tell that we were close. Oh, we were close. I could smell his odor from here—that disgusting odor I would later come to recognize as… something else.

We continued walking down the stairs when I heard a click! and I looked down. Apparently, I had stepped on a pressure plate of some kind. Celestia's left buttcheek.

“Run,” I muttered under my breath, not hesitating in the slightest.

They followed suit and we all ran down the stairs. Hardly a second later the staircase erupted into a powerful quaking, and soon the steps were crumbling away from under us. I knew immediately what was about to happen, but more importantly, I knew what to do.

“Buckaroo Yee-Haw, get us out of here!”

“Yee-haw!” Buckaroo Yee-Haw responded.

We were nearing the end of the staircase, and as we got closer, Buckaroo Yee-Haw reached into her knapsack with her muzzle and took out her lasso. Realizing she had no place to grapple onto, I unsheathed my ruby-hilt sword and thrust its blade into the floor a foot away from the last step of the staircase.

Buckaroo saw what I did and swung the rope in the direction of the sword, its noose wrapping around the ruby-hilt and tightening. The sword was in the concrete pretty deep, so I was confident it wouldn’t slide out if anything went array.

Speak of Princess Celestia’s right buttcheek, the staircase caved in and we all jumped towards Buckaroo Yee-Haw, grappling onto her. “‘ee-haw!” she said through clenched teeth as we fell through the stairs and swung down into a pit of ocean black. I knew it was all over when we hit a wall. Well, sort of over. There was still the matter of getting back up.

“Okay,” I said, my voice winded from the adrenaline. “Everyone up the rope.”

It started with Iron Soldier and continued with Double Vision. Snuffle Bear was tightening his grip on my hind leg. I so badly wanted to kick him off for how tight he was holding onto me, but I knew that in some way he would prove useful. Soon after Smarty Pants climbed over my shoulders and onto the rope, Snuffle Bear finally loosened his grip and proceeded to climb over me and Buckaroo Yee-Haw. It wasn’t until then that I heard the moaning.

Deep down in the dark pit is where it came from, the cries of those the King had thrown into the pit for disobeying him. Their cries echoed in my ears, begging me to join them in their turmoil.

Sorry, not today.

“Get us out of here, Buckaroo.”

“‘Ee-haw!” she replied.

She pulled us up for what felt like ages. The process was sped up once everyone started helping, but the effort was still strenuous. All the while, I held onto her waist in a tight hug and listened to the loud cries of the King’s prisoners. Never before have I met a being so ruthless, so cunning, so dreadful, so, so—so much like me, in a way. I mean, I always try to make myself out to be that way, so obviously we’re no different. Except I’m better in every way.

Buckaroo Yee-Haw finally reached the ledge and pulled us up. Double Vision and Snuffle Bear came over to help the two of us. With the additional help, we got back up with almost no effort at all.

I was so relieved to be back on solid ground that for a moment I considered lying down and resting, but I knew that we had to continue onward with our journey.

“Okay. Roll call.” I began listing names and listening to the responses, and when I found that everyone was still present, I grasped my sword in a stream of telekinesis and pulled it out of the concrete. The floor had been weakened from years of ageing, so it was easy. I placed the sword back into its sheath and we continued down the path to the King’s lair.

So clearly, the King was screwing with us. That much was certain. I know he rigged this castle so that we would start out in the dungeons, and I know that he set up these elaborate traps to mock me. He wanted me breaded with the flesh of fear so that he could feed on my pale flesh. Unfortunately for him, I’ve remained unaffected by everything he’s thrown at us so far. So when exactly does the fun began?

“When we meet.”

I smirked. So he was listening in after all? Oh, this will be fun indeed. Really, really fun. Well, King, prepare to meet your successor.

I stared ahead at the beautiful sight of darkness, soaking in its radiance, smelling its fumes. He should really light a candle or two in here. It’s pretty dark.

We rounded a corner and stopped when it opened up into a room. As we did so, several torches within the surrounding area lit up. The room was revealed to be a circular chamber and was not much different from the continuous corridors we’ve walked through, aside from one thing.

In the center of the chamber, there stood a statue on top of a pedestal made up of four separate skeletons supporting it on their backs (I assume either these ponies had a high calcium diet before they died, or the King is using some kind of magic to stop them from dropping the statue). The statue was of a pony, horribly deformed. The entire right side of his face was bloated, his back was arched like a hunchback’s, but aside from these misnomers, he stood prim and proper, like a king. At the base of the statue was a plague.

The Misshapen Prince

The Misshapen Prince, huh? Could this be our dear king here? Why is it that he would reveal this to me? What was he planning? So many questions and so few answers.

“I’ve seen better looking faces in an animal shelter,” I joked. Everyone in the group chuckled at that.

“Why do you think he’s showing us this?” Smarty Pants asked.

I shrugged. “Beats me. Maybe to give himself a bit of backstory? Either way, I don’t really care. I just want to fight him already.”

I looked behind the statue towards the hallway on the other side, and I noticed that the torches on that path were now lit. The torches on the path we arrived from, however, weren’t.

“Oh, how nice. He’s showing us the way to his lair. We must be getting close.”

I took the lantern from Smarty Pants’s maw and blew the wicker out. After snapping it back onto the chain on my knapsack, we continued walking. The hall was short and lead to another flight of stairs falling downward. These stairs were much longer then the others. It must have taken about five minutes to walk down them, unlike the others which usually took a mere few seconds to a minute.

There were many passages that intersected with the corridor, but the only path we followed was the lit one. The lantern clinked against the metal buckle of my knapsack. If something was about to go wrong and all the torches were about to go out, I should be able to unchain it and light it in time before we get ambushed, hence the main reason why it’s chained to my knapsack and not inside it.

We turned another corner and noticed a slight change. The torches along this hallway were flickering for some reason, their flames dancing like waving grass in a hurricane, flicking little sparks of ember everywhere.

We went down the corridor, taking more precaution in our stride. We huddled as close together as we were at the beginning of the journey, a little spacious but still pretty close. I could feel Smarty Pants’s breath against my neck, Snuffle Bear’s warm body pressing against the side of my flank. I could hear Double Vision’s claws scritch-scratching against the concrete floor, and Buckaroo Yee-Haw’s and Iron Soldier’s clip-clops echoe against the walls.

It annoyed me whenever the lantern clinked against my armor, but I ignored it nonetheless. Instead, I kept focused on the path ahead of us, magic trained on my ruby-hilt sword in case a chance arose whenever I would need it.

We turned another corner to find the torches dancing even faster. The corridor was dimer then the previous one, and the light wavered black and orange, almost like an indecisive filly playing with a light switch.

We huddled closer, this time drawing our weapons, prepared for any possible outcome. The torches flung their sparks at us as we walked—or more likely hobbled—down. We turned another corner and the flames danced faster, their tongues licking the air around us. We turned another corner and the flames were disappearing and reappearing, almost indecisively. We turned another corner and the flames were nearly gone—we turned another corner and the torches were dimly lit—turned another corner to find the flames growing back onto the torches like blossoming flowers—turned another corner to find the flames slowly recuperating—turned another corner to find—

—Turned another corner to find a strange figure hobbling towards us. The figured hadn’t noticed us, so we slowly walked towards it, weapons drawn. The flames hadn’t fully recuperated yet, so it was hard to make out what I was looking at, but as soon as we got close enough, I knew what it was. It was a mare with a pale blue coat. Her brunette mane and tale was disheveled, her sapphire eyes were sunken back into her skull, and I could see her rib cage poking through her stomach.

Even after looking at us directly, it took her a moment to fully comprehend what she was looking at. When she finally did, her eyes widened. “Where—where did you come from?” she whispered. Beyond her words was nothing but the voice of silence and the crackling of the torches to punctuate its sentences.

I threw her question aside. “Who are you, and what are you doing here?” I said, pointing the tip of my ruby-hilt sword at the nape of her neck. She coward back at the brutality of my demeanor.

“I-I’m Shoe Shine. I came here looking for my husband when I heard the King’s guards took him down here. Have you seen him?”

Shoe Shine, huh? That sounds an awful lot like a peasant’s name. She had dirt all over her face—that could be because of the fact that she’s poor, or the fact that she’s been down here for a very long time. Like, a thousand years. “Sorry, no, I haven’t.”

She stared into my scolding eyes, taking in and processing my words. “Wha-what are you doing down here? Have you found an entrance? Is there a way out!”

She limped towards us with a glint of hope in her eyes. “Stay where are!” I scream, swinging my sword in the air to warn her off.

Her face faltered, but she did as told and didn’t leave her position. “C-can you help me get out of here? As you can probably tell, I’ve been down here for a very long time.”

“I’m sorry, but we have an appointment with the King first. Maybe then we can help you.”

The light of hope returned to her eyes at the mention of the King. “Oh, the King? You’re wanting to meet with him?” I nodded. “I know where his throne room is!”

I continued scolding her, contemplative stare in my eyes. “Do tell.”

“Ba-but you have to promise that you will help me get out of here afterwards.”

Honestly, I didn’t care. There’s no way this mare has been down here for a thousand years, so obviously this was a trick. I was more interested in what she had to do with the King’s plan than what she was asking out of me. “Okay,” I said. “Promise. Now show me the way.”

“Great, follow me!” As she said that, she turned around and took a step. She tried to take another, but nearly fell over in fatigue. Snuffle Bear walked over to her to see if she needed any help.

“Don’t help her,” I said. He looked at me for a moment, then he looked at Shoe Shine with worried eyes, then he joined the group once again.

The mare looked at me longingly, wishing that someone in the group would help her. But I recognize a trick when I see one. Instead, she turned around and continued walking down the corridor. “Let’s go,” she said.

We followed her, very slowly. She limped the entire way and almost collapsed from fatigue and malnourishment every few minutes, but every time we stopped and gave her a moment to recuperate, then we would continue onward.

By now the flames on the torches had fully reemerged, and we could see everything around us. This corridor was different from the others—almost pristine—as if this was one of the last ramifications to the castle. I mean, aside from the many rusty doors we passed and the dust in the corners, that is. But I knew this area was leading somewhere, and I was excited to find out where.

We walked for half an hour, turning corners, going through doors, walking down stairs. This process soon became a circle, a circle that I knew would eventually end.

Finally, Shoe Shine stopped at one particular door that ended the corridor. This door was different from the others. Its hinges weren’t rusted like the others were, the carvings on the panels were clear and intriguing, and it looked fresh—as if it was built only yesterday. And it was humongous, nearly taking up the entire wall.

She turned to us. “It’s right behind this door here.”

I nodded at her. “Open it.”

She did as told, not hesitating in the slightest. She bit down onto the looped-handle and pulled. She struggled to open it, but eventually it was wide enough for all of us to walk in.

Unsurprisingly the room was dark. I was just about to light my horn to pierce through the black veil, when the torches started lighting. It started with one, then followed by the next one it. It all happened in the span of ten seconds, and soon I was able to gather what was in the room.

Rather then seeing a throne with a king on it as I suspected I would, I was met with a large, circular chamber. Pillers lined the walls, seeming to be more for decoration then supporting the roof. Unlike the corridors, this room was kept clean, riddened of any dust. In the center of the chamber was a dais, sitting on top of it, a casket with many fresh flowers on top of it—an impressive sight for something over a thousand years old.

Surrounding the dais, were many more funeral caskets. There must have been twenty-four rows, maybe. I looked around the chamber, seeing if there was anything else in need of attention, like a certain King of Quivering Cowardice, but to no avail. I grew mad.

“Kill her,” I said, not a hint of mercy in my tone.

Smarty Pants perked up at my words. “Wha-what?”

Almost as if triggering the response, Shoe Shine had leapt onto Smarty Pants’s back and tried to punch the back of her head, but I was prepared. I caught Shoe Shine in a purple aura and threw her against the side of the nearest casket, its lid nearly spilling off, but only ever sliding a bit.

Any sign of the innocence Shoe Shine’s complexion once held was now gone, replaced by jagged, sharp teeth so large she couldn’t close her mouth. She was much taller now, almost tall as Princess Celestia herself. Her coat and mane had shed away—but if you were any lesser pony, it would be the eyes that got to you. The eyes—no longer sunken down into the skull but instead bulging out in white, cloudy orbs.

The Misshapen.

“Bit of a cheap tactic, don’t you think?” I quipped. The Misshapen responded with a loud screech.

To be honest, it caught me off guard. The cry tore through my ear drums and I was forced to cover them, hardly noticing that as I did, I took the magic off of it.

The Misshapen leapt from the spot it sat at moments ago and made headway towards Snuffle Bear, who was busy cowering behind the funeral casket in the center. Before it could though, Double Vision jumped out from the group and latched onto its flank with her claws. Even from my position I could see that the claws were in really deep, with the intention to tear apart the flesh.

The Misshapen screeched again, this time out of pain and not defense. It reared back and bit down on Double Vision’s ear, then ripped her off from its flank and threw her against one of the caskets.

By now I was making my own headway towards the commotion, but not quick enough as the Misshapen had pounced onto Double Vision and the two started clawing at each other—well, Double Vision was clawing at the Misshapen, the Misshapen was opening and snapping its jaws at any spot Double Vision had once been.

The commotion felt like a violent cat fight on the street, with the other intending to end the other’s life. I knew I couldn’t just go in there stabby-stabby—no. I had to actually improvise a plan.

“Double Vision,” I said, taking the lid of the casket I had thrown the Misshapen against and levitating it in the air. “Try to get it into the casket.”

There was no response. The fight simply shifted its position to flow my way. As they got closer, I began to notice several tears in the seams of Double Vision’s fur. A piece of her ear was also missing from where the Misshapen had bitten her, but she didn’t look the worse for wear. In fact, it was the Misshapen who was losing. Several scratches garnered its face, blood oozing down from one of them on her upper cheek.

The Misshapen screeched again, threw a hoof at Double Vision to try to stun her, but Double Vision was quick to see it and immediately leapt out of the way—right into the casket where the Misshapen had her cornered.

The Misshapen leapt onto her without hesitation. It lashed out with its jaws, holding her down with its hooves. Double Vision kicked and struggled, but she couldn’t get herself free from the creature’s grasp—then I heard the tear. The Misshapen was tearing Double Vision apart as stuffing that had once been inside of her started to pile onto the ground. This angered me to the furthest extent.

Out of pure rage, I made a dash at the Misshapen and tackled it to the ground. The creature scurried away from me so that it could get back up, but the extra time it took to do so gave me a chance to swing my sword out at it. The creature managed to save itself in the nick of time by holding a leg up to block it. The sword tore into its flesh, leaving a long gash in its place.

The Misshapen wailed and made a dash at me, but not before Iron Soldier tackled it to the ground. He stood on its back and pulled its head backwards so that it wouldn’t be able to move. I picked up the opened casket with my magic and the creature. It protested, but I still held my magical grasp. Immediately, I threw the creature into the casket and shut the lid. Buckaroo Yee-Haw was quick to provide me with a rope, which I used to tie around the casket.

I set it down and breathed a sigh of relief. Muffled screeches echoed from the casket and it jumbled shakily out of irritation, but it was all over nonetheless.

I could have killed the creature, I know. But I was honestly trying to find a way to speed things up. I know killing that thing would have taken a few extra minutes, but I just couldn’t anymore. I had to face the King now.

I was about to look around to check and make sure everyone was okay when I remembered: Double Vision. I looked over to the spot where she laid with wide eyes. Stuffing that had once been inside her surrounded her carcass. Or at least at first I thought it was a carcass, but then I saw the breathing.

“Sweet Starswirl’s beard hair.” I mutter under my breath.

We all gathered around her, looking down at what remained of her mutilated body. The damage wasn’t as bad as it looked. She was missing her ear sure, but the Misshapen’s teeth managed to also snag onto to one of the stitchings and tear a sizable hole into her stomach.

I drooped down so that my face was next to hers, and I could here here ragged breathing. She was trying to say something. It took her moment, but eventually she found the leverage to speak. “Ma-ma-ma-Monsieur Twi?”

“I’m here.”

“Dih-did I shh-show my fah-fah-fear?” she whispered in my ear.

“No, you didn’t.”

“I was afraid, Monsieur Twi. I was afraid. But I kept myself together. I was afraid that that thing was going to kill one of us.” There was silence for a moment, then she gave a dark chuckle. “I guess it did.”

I stared into her half-closed eyes for a moment, soaking in her words. Trying to comprehend the situation. “No, you’re not. Snuffle Bear, get me the first aid kit.”

Snuffle Bear did as told and reached into his knapsack confidentally. He pulled out a rolled up canvas and brought it over to me. I took it in my magic and unraveled it. From there, I took a needle and some thread.

“Ma-ma-monsieur Twi, there is nah-nothing you can do fur me. Go. Go see the King!”

I wasn’t listening. Instead, I had pierced the thread through the hole in the needle. I stuck the needle through the part where Double Vision’s stitchings were ripped and started sewing.

Double Vision didn’t stop protesting until she passed out, and by then I had completely sewn her stomach back together. I put the needle and thread back in the canvas and took out some bandages. I had Snuffle Bear lift her up off her back so that I could wrap the bandages around her.

When I was finally finished, I gave the order for Snuffle Bear to carry her and to be careful, you big buffoon. For a brief moment I thought about cutting the journey short and bringing her back to the bedroom, but I knew we were so close! I could feel it in my guts.

I turned to the coffin with the freshly strewn flowers on it. Either upon opening it it will reveal what I think it will reveal, or I’ll be face-to-face with a dead corpse. Either of them wouldn’t be surprising.

I walked up the dais and towards the coffin very slowly, sword still drawn, ready to lash out at anything that might jump out at me. Upon reaching the coffin, I let my gaurd down a bit so that I could focus my magic on opening it. The others in the group had followed me up the dais and had gathered around the coffin, drawing their weapons as well.

The lid of the coffin erupted into a lilac aura and began moving out of the way. I eventually managed to slide it off to where the lid was leaning against the side of the coffin, and that is when I got a good look inside. Instead of seeing a rotting skeleton like a normal pony would expect, I was met with a ladder, sinking down into a dark abyss.

“Come and face your fears.” I heard the King whisper.

“Buckaroo Yee-Haw, you go down first.” I said, and soon it was followed by Iron Soldier, then Smarty Pants, myself, and Snuffle Bear, who needed us to be his anchor so that if anything went wrong he could make a beeline for the exit and get Double Vision to safety. Oh, the irony.

IV
The King's Lair
(and the first sighting of the black alicorn)
____________________

The ladder didn’t go down very far and, in fact, was only about fifteen feet deep. About halfway down I lit my horn as we sank into the darkness. When we reached the bottom, one at a time we dropped from the ladder and landed on the floor, which was about ten feet away.

Buckaroo Yee-Haw dropped down first (“Yee-haw!” she said for some reason) and waited for Iron Soldier to come down. With the added weight of his armor, his drop was more sound then Buckaroo’s was. Smarty Pants was next, who was caught by both Buckaroo Yee-Haw and Iron Soldier, the same process with me, and soon, Snuffle Bear and Double Vision.

The best assumption I could make is that we were no longer in the dungeons but, in fact, in a sewer. Judging from the wretched smell, I was safe to that assume I was right. Wherever it was, I didn’t like it.

I heard Smarty Pants sigh in frustration. “When are we getting there? We’ve been down here for hours!”

I didn’t say anything to her, instead, I just allowed a powerful energy to surge through my horn, and the small glob of light at the end became even brighter than before. I could now see further ahead of us. Not twenty feet away did I spot the surface of some door.

“We’re here,” I replied, to her astonishment.

I began walking down the “sewers”, or whatever they were called, Smarty Pants taking a moment to correlate what I just said, then running up to join me along with the group. We arrived in front of the large door in seconds.

Unlike the door to the burial chamber we were just in, this one was much larger. But instead of having been made with fresh wood and carvings, this one was old and rotting.

Smarty Pants, Iron Soldier, Buckaroo Yee-Haw, and Snuffle Bear formed a line behind me as I got into place. Enveloping the door into my magic, I made the reveal.

It was another dark room. Of course.

The light from my horn was still piercing through the black veil as we walked in. Immediately, I took notice of the change in atmosphere. The smell from the sewers was gone, instead replaced by the scent of… something brooding.

An even more powerful surge of magic ran through my horn and the light grew brighter, enveloping the room even more, but it still wasn’t enough to reveal it completely. So, pointing my horn towards whatever was in front of me, the bulb of light at the tip shot up and into the black veil. It stopped only a distance away, but after a few seconds, it exploded into a bright array of lilac lights.

The trick caused the darkness in the room to slowly seep away. Tendrils of black were backing away into corners as light began taking control. Soon, the entire room was full of a dim, but perceivable, light. My eyes were suddenly able to take control of their surroundings.

The room was another chamber. I wanted to assume it was some kind of throne room in its youth, but after years of neglect and aging, I highly doubted that’s what you could call it anymore. Despite there being plenty of light around the chamber’s center, darkness still encircled it against the walls where a Misshapen could easily hide in wait for a victim to make the wrong step.

The floor was a stone gray, a detail not too shocking. Although what really bit into the bone's marrow was what was wrong with the room: in the center, where there should have been a floor, was a large—not small, not, medium, but large—hole with a short cliff protruding out over it.

I walked towards the edge of the cliff, the others deciding it was best to sit and wait for me to give the next set of orders. Upon arriving at the edge, I peered down into the hole to see what I could find.

Instead of seeing the bottom of the hole as I suspected I would, I was met with an ocean of darkness unlike any other. A darkness so black that no light could pierce through it, a youthful darkness. Not elder, not close to dying away, but youthful, as if it had been rejuvenated, as if the sun had burned out, as if the stars never existed. As if I found the nucleus of the Dark Part.

Upon those thoughts, I heard the deep rattling of chains echo from the hole, then the whole ground began to rumble. Seconds later, I could see something coming up from the darkness—a face of some kind. Although I couldn’t perceive it. Seconds later, I could, and I saw the large olive-like black eyes protruding out of their sockets, the two large slits where the nose should be, and the jagged teeth, so large that the jaw couldn’t shut. Soon, the beast made it into full apparatus and had risen out of its hole.

When the full upper half of its body was extended out, it gave a loud yawn and stretch its arms around, though it was hard for the beast to do as its wrists were shackled, their chains extending all the way down into the ocean of black.

Taking a moment to examine its surroundings, it looked down at me with its large, white pupils and bent over to get a closer look. I could almost feel the smile behind its fangs.

“Oh,” it said. “Twi. It’s you. I’ve been waiting here for hours, wondering where you were off to. You should know by now that it’s not polite to keep someone waiting. Especially when you make plans to rendezvous with them.”

I smirked. “The King of Quivering Cowardice—an ambiguous if not redundant title, if I say so. Just as placid-witted as always I see. I’ve come to end your reign of terror.”

The King reared back and laughed his head off. The chamber shook along with his enlightenment, but I still stood my ground unfazed.

When the King was done laughing, he bent back down to get a good look at me. “Dear, innocent little Twi. Haven’t we already been over this? Don’t you realize what I am? I am the embodiment of fear. The devourer of souls. The King of Quivering Cowardice. They have holidays about me, I am celebrated. I am revered. I am a legend. I am as immortal as darkness. Little Twi, fear is never-dying, it is kept alive by the little fillies like you, who grow into that fear and run away from it.”

“Do I look like I’m running away from it?”

The King’s smile grew even wider. “No. You don’t. In fact, you are the first to come face me after these chains were slapped onto my wrists, and I was banished to the lowest depths of Tartarus. I’m rather glad you’re here. I’ve yearned for the company for so long. The only ponies I have to talk to are the skulls of the disloyal I had thrown into the walls to fortify my castle.”

“Oh, so is that what they did? They were disloyal to you?”

“Oh, it was more than that. The ones that spoke out against me had their heads thrown down into the dungeons. The ones who stole from me had their heads stuffed inside the pillars to support the many intricate towers that came with the castle. The ones that committed blasphemythat is, the ones who didn’t agree with my methods of governingjust had their heads thrown in along with everyone who didn’t meet my expectations. When the castle was finished, and I couldn’t throw any more heads inside, anyone who was disloyal had their head severed off and fed to the peasant familiesthose who kept their loyalty to medown in the village, so that they wouldn’t starve to death.”

“That’s all you did? You chopped off heads and sat around all day?”

“I did so much more, Twi. Whenever I got bored I would randomly select a family and have them be thrown into a deep pit. Oh, their screams of terror were like harmony to my ears. Naughty little fillies with loose tongues had them removed and fed to them—sometimes I was kind enough to cook it. Anyone I took pity on was put through the most strenuous of tasks to determine their fate, like holding up my statute upon their backs for an entire week. Oh, Twi, I had so much fun in my youth. The way I struck fear into the hearts of my subjects was such a priceless work of art.

“But now I’m here. Chained to the inner depths of this hole, never able to see the outside of my own throne room ever again. So I make use of it. Oh, how I love it when little foals and little fillies have nightmares. Oh, how I love it whenever the power goes out and they cower beneath their blankets with a flashlight. I love it whenever fear seeps into the hearts of the unknowledgeable. Oh, Twi, how you don’t know what they’re afraid of. How you don’t know what you’re afraid of. How you don’t know that you’re very afraid.”

I quirked a brow. “And what exactly am I afraid of?”

The King laughed mockingly. “I can’t tell you. I should allow fear to fester itself and grow and eventually blossom into the handsome flower that it is.”

“So what are we going to do now, King? We are meeting each other face-to-face. My sword is sheathed. We are ready to strike each other down. What will we do now? How will we began this harrowing battle?”

The King extended one of his claws into the air, the chain on his wrist rustling in its wake. “We will begin the battle with a game. Winner decides the rules of the fight. You know, to keep things fair.”

“Very gentlemarely of you.”

“Don’t push it.”

He moved his claw to face me and I knew what he had in mind. I raised my hoof as if reaching out to shake with him.

“Win twice, and you’ll get to decide how we battle. On the count of three, throw at me what you wish to throw. One... Two…”

He threw scissors.

I threw rock.

He threw rock.

I threw rock.

He threw paper.

I threw a rock.

“Bwhaa!” he reared back and screamed, the chamber shaking with his pain. He bent back down to face me. “You dare cheat in the presence of the King of Quivering Cowardice?”

“You said throw at you what I wish to throw.”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean it literally!”

“Enough of this foolishness, King!” With those words, I stepped back into a battle-ready stance and drew my sword, my companions behind me drawing their weapons as well. Smarty Pants, with her lance; Buckaroo Yee-Haw with her lasso; Iron Soldier with no weapon at all, for his spear had broken when it made impact with the runes and exploded; Potato, who had finally decided to make an appearance; Snuffle Bear, with his dirk and ready to protect Double Vision at all cost; me, in the center of what was about to go down.

For a moment, I thought he was going to raise one of his claws and swipe it down at me, but then I noticed the inky smoke coming out from the hole. Before I could process what was happening, a tendril tore through the smoke and made headway towards Buckaroo Yee-Haw.

“Yee-haw,” was all she could say before it wrapped around her waist and dragged her down into the hole, her helpless screams doing nothing to save her.

There was the kickoff.

Giving a loud battle cry, I lashed out at several tendrils that were crawling towards me over the surface of the cliff with my sword. My might managed to form a barrier that none were able to pierce through.

But fighting off the tendrils made me prone. As the King was about to raise his claw to swipe down at me, Iron Soldier ran onto the cliff, jumped out as far as he possibly could, grabbed onto a tendril that was extended out like the many others swaying back and forth in the air, and used it to swing onto the King’s claw before the tendril could pull him down into the ocean of darkness.

The King tried to shake him off, but Iron Soldier had a grip like a squirrel climbing a tree’s bark. He ran along the King’s arm and disappeared around his shoulder.

I had managed to back away from the cliff and join the group in the fight against the tendrils. Upon joining them, I nearly tripped when I stepped over the lasso Buckaroo Yee-Haw left behind when she was sucked in the darkness.

I felt bad for her, to be honest, but I really had no time to express those feelings at the moment. Instead, I picked the lasso up in my magic and threw it over Smarty Pants’s neck as if I was having her model a necklace. “Just in case you get any ideas,” I said to her.

“These pants are made for making smart decisions." Except when they weren't.

At those words, several tendrils latched out at once and grabbed onto me. For a moment I thought they were going to drag me in until I heard Snuffle Bear screech. He ran over to me and swung at the tendrils with his dirk. Their tight grip on my legs, neck, and abdomen immediately loosened as they became more focused on fighting off Snuffle Bear. But Snuffle Bear was definitely living up to his name, snuffing out the tendrils one-by-one. Soon there was none left but the fresh horde coming after us.

The King was about to make another swipe, but Iron Soldier ran down his arm, hugged one of his fingers, and bent it back. The King hollered in a mixture of pain and anger. The tendrils that were coming after us reared back and headed towards Iron Soldier’s direction. There was nothing we could do as the tendrils wrapped around him and pulled him off the King’s finger into the ocean of darkness.

Out of anger, I slashed my sword out at some tendrils heading our way. Through my anger, I didn’t realize I was separating myself from the group. Before I realized it, I had allowed myself to foolishly get surrounded by a mass of tendrils.

One tendril left its group and tried to strike me down, but I cut it in half with my sword—another tendril left the group and I struck that one down—soon multiple tendrils were attacking me at once and I had to keep an expert level of focus to not screw up and let any of them in through my barrier.

I lashed out at another and a small part of the group backed away—lashed out at another and the group backed away some more but grew back just as quickly—lashed out once more and didn’t realize I was beginning to let my guard down—lashed out again and a tendril wrapped around my hind leg and pulled me to the floor.

It kept pulling me towards the hole in the center of the room, where I would be sucked into the black ocean. I tried cutting it in half but more had come out of nowhere and begin to cocoon my body. It started with my abdomen, then my neck, and soon, my eyes and horn.

I heard my ruby-hilt sword cling! to the ground as all I felt the pulling. This is it—I was done for. Perhaps the King has finally won. Perhaps the King has me at his mercy. It's over. That is, I thought it was over until the pulling came to a sudden stop.

I heard some rustling going on in the background and realized it was close by. A few seconds later, I felt the tendrils being cut away from my body. At first, I thought it was Smarty Pants, who must have noticed my absence from the group and decided to come after me—then the tendrils covering my eyes slithered away.

It was Double Vision, staring down at me with her one eye. “Come on Monsieur Twi,” she said as she helped me up. “You can’t let fear get to you like that.”

I was shocked by how energized she looked. I mean, she was still sweating, possibly from the immense stress, she was putting on herself, and she seemed to be struggling to stand up. But I saw the look in her eyes: determination. Suddenly, the battle had a new ray of hope.

Smarty Pants and Snuffle Bear ran up to join us, and together we formed an impenetrable circle.

“Oh, how endearing. Now you’re all clustered up so that I can squish you all at once.”

“Stop this madness, King! Let us fight this out ourselves, without the aid of someone else to do the fighting for us!”

“But Twi, it’s so much fun!”

With that, he rose his claw up into the air and threw it down on top of us. He would have squashed, but I had a few tricks up my sleeve (I was still wearing armor, so, um, yeah). I managed to bring up a lilac shield to encircle the small group. The King reared his claw back and landed a hit again against the lilac shield, causing it to crack a bit. Just when the claw was about to rear back again, I allowed the shield to falter and I jumped out at the claw, hugging one of the fingers, doing my best not to let go. Smarty Pants joined me in the struggle, Snuffle Bear joining Double Vision in the battle below us.

We ran along the King’s arm, the King using another claw to try to sweep us off. He was only partly successful. While Smarty Pants was able to climb onto the large talon borrowing down at us, it was still successful in knocking me off.

I tumbled in the air for a moment and was about to hit the hard ground, but I was able to use enough of my magic in time to levitate myself barely a foot away from the floor. It was strenuous work, as I was putting a lot of effort into keeping myself leveled out. I was so close to the ground and could already see sweat began to dribble done onto the cold stone.

I let the magic falter and I landed on my hooves. Right as I did that, another horde of tendrils came after me. Okay, I’ve had about enough of this.

Picking my sword back up where I had dropped it and forgot about it when I got cocooned, I lashed out at the tendrils, taking out the whole horde in one energetic swipe.

As that happened, I heard a scream, and I turned around to see Snuffle Bear towering over the motionless form of Double Vision. Apparently, all the action must have torn one of her stitchings and cause her to cringe over. It was definite that she was still alive but nearly unconscious. What was even more evident was the fire in Snuffle Bear’s eyes. The tendrils surrounded the two of them, and he somehow managed to hold every single one of them off.

From where I stood, I had the perfect view of the battle raging before my eyes, and what happened next was far too descriptive to explain plainly.

(1) Smarty Pants had managed to climb onto the King’s face and tie one end of Buckaroo Yee-Haw’s lasso to one of the King’s fangs; (2) Smarty pants used the rope to swing to the other side of the King’s jaw and wrapped some of the rope around another fang, then she used the rope to swing onto his shoulder and disappear behind his neck; (3) Snuffle Bear managed to lead the tendrils away from Double Vision, who seemed to remain untouched by the battle escapading before her; (4) Smarty Pants reappeared on the other side of the King’s jaw again, tying the other end of the rope around the fang she had thrown the lasso over, then she disappeared behind his head again; (5) neither Snuffle Bear or myself noticed it in time as a tendril snuck up on him and dug into his back. He screeched in pain as another dug into him, and soon another; (6) the King’s head reared back for some reason and he began to sway side-to-side. I suddenly realized it had something to do with Smarty Pants; (7) I spotted a huge stalactite hanging overhead and shot a magical beam at it, the stalactite falling and landing on the King’s head; (8) the tendrils tore through Snuffle Bear’s stitchings and pulled apart, Snuffed Bear falling to the floor, stuffing flying everywhere; (9) Double Vision screamed at the sight of Snuffed Bear being torn to shreads; (10) The King’s chin hit the surface of the cliff protruding out over the hole; (11) I ran up the cliff; (12) as I did, I took notice of Smarty Pants, who on top of the King’s head—rope in her mouth as if she was riding the King like a horse (oh, the irony)—who was somehow unfazed by the large stalactite that had struck him down; (13) I donned my sword in my magic; (14) Smarty Pant jumped off the King’s head and onto the cliff; (15) I sliced my sword across the King’s eyes.

The King reared back and roared in pain, the chamber responding with a large shaking. I was quick to notice the cracks accumulating on the ceiling and made quick work of taking charge. I ran down the cliff, companions following me. Double Vision joined us and we made quick haste to get to the door. On our way there, I got a good look at where Snuffed Bear laid.

His body had been torn in half. His legs were in front of his lifeless face, stuffing spilling out of the seams. His upper half was full of tears from the battle, and his paw was still tightened around his dirk.

I so desperately wanted to take him with us, but I knew I couldn’t. Instead, I just ran. Ran like it was the only solution. And it was. It was how we were going to get out of here. It was how we weren’t going to get crushed to death. It was how we were going to beat the King.

In the background, I could hear him screaming. “I’M GOING TO GET YOU TWI! I’M GOING TO GET YOU AND I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU THE SAME WAY I KILLED ALL WHO FAILED TO SATISFY MY NEEDS! I'M GOING TO TORTURE YOU THE WAY I TORTURED THOSE WHO WERE UNLOYAL! EVEN IF I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE OLD AND BLIND, I’ll GET YOU!”

With that, the roof finally caved in over him and he was forced to dunk down into his hole, where he would spend the rest of eternity trapped—old and blind.

The rocks came tumbling after us, but I was quick. I threw up a shield, and any rock that came tumbling down on us would ricochet right off. Just as we were about to make it through the door, I saw it.

An alicorn. Not just any alicorn, a black alicorn. It was a peculiar sight, as the only alicorns I've seen are the ones in storybooks and the Princess herself.

An alicorn, just standing there on top of the mound of rocks covering the entrance to the King’s prison.

In the middle of all the chaos.

An alicorn.

Black as hatred.

V
Home
(the land above the Dark Part)
____________________

It took a few hours, but eventually, we stepped out of the closet. The journey on the way out was even longer and more difficult, especially since one of the set of stairs we ran down had crumbled away. I had to tap into my magic and levitate us across—a process that was hardly successful when first used on myself. But I managed to keep enough focus and a leveled head to do it.

I wasn’t as worried about the lantern light burning out, specifically because the King wasn’t there to blow it out. Although it was needed for the journey for far longer this time. By the end of the trek, the wicker had nearly burned out.

Suffice to say, that was how I felt. I wanted streamers, I wanted flagons full of juice, and I wanted celebration in the atmosphere, but in the end, all I really wanted was some sleep. The journey through the Dark Part was an exhausting effort, its largest toll being taken on the fight with the King.

My head was droopy and my legs were weak. Rest now. Celebrate later.

I jumped into bed and was about to throw the covers on when I heard Double Vision say something. “Monsieur Twi, why couldn’t we save Snuffle Bear?” They were the first words to be uttered since the King had been defeated.

I couldn’t help but look away from her face. “There was nothing we could do. The tendrils tore him apart—and beyond repair. He was missing stuffing in places where it would be very difficult to replace. And we didn’t have enough time to recover his body, we had to get out of there before we were crushed. Thankfully we all made it out okay.”

Silence.

I looked back at my two remaining companions, finally noticing we were down one. “Where’s Potato?”

All Double Vision did was look down sadly. Smarty Pants was the one to speak. “He got mashed in the avalanche.”

“Curse!” I cursed under my breath.

“Monsieur Twi,” Double Vision injected. “Is the King truly dead?”

I was silent for a moment, trying to contemplate an answer. Is he dead? Well, I wouldn’t assume as much. After all, he didn’t suffer any fatal wounds. He could have been crushed to death, but I assume he must have ducked down into his hole to avoid the rubble.

“I don’t know. But what I do know is that he was defeated. That’s all that matters.”

That said, I unsheathed my sword and raised it in the air. “With this victory, we have conquered fear!”

The depressing atmosphere was replaced by one of celebration. What were once cries of sorrow were now cries of victory. It was odd with only the three of us making all the noise, but it was still a fulfilling silence nonetheless.

After several minutes of congratulating each other on a job well done, I finally spoke. “Now why don’t we get some well-earned rest? We have all day to celebrate tomorrow.”

I looked at the both of them and saw the tiredness in their eyes—err, and eye. If we were not so energized just moments ago, I was sure one of them would collapse in mere seconds. But they kept a normal, unwavering pace on their way to the pirate’s chest.

Smarty Pants pulled the chest out away from the wall and opened it, allowing Double Vision a moment to get in first. When that was done, Smarty Pants jumped in with her. Her body was halfway in and she was about to dunk inside to call it a night when she turned to me.

“Hey, Twi?” she said.

“Yes?”

“What the King said back there—is there something you’re really afraid of? Were you just as afraid as all of us?”

I looked at her for a moment, the air punctuating my silence. “Well, clearly I kept a level head, didn’t I? I wouldn’t understand why he thought I had something to be afraid of.”

“You weren’t afraid he was going to kill you? You weren’t afraid he was going to drag you into the darkness and torture you in his dungeons until you died of old age?”

“Now that’s nonsense!” I snarled. “I’m ageless. Besides, we had the upper hoof on the King throughout the entire fight. Sure, there was some struggle, but that part was expected.”

A concerned look accumulated onto Smarty Pants’s face. “Are you sure there’s nothing you’re afraid of?”

“Absolutely nothing! If it’s so big of an issue, what was it you were afraid of, Smarty Pants?”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. She was almost hesitant to speak, but eventually, she found the leverage to do so. “I was afraid of losing you. I was afraid of falling down into that dark hole in the center of the room without getting to see your face one last time. And I was afraid you were going to forget about me in the heat of battle if I fell.”

“Now Smarty Pants—”

“—Would you?—Have forgotten about me?”

“Now Smarty Pants, you saw what happened to the others. There’s no way I’ll ever forget their sacrifices. Yours though would have been at a greater cost.”

She said nothing, her look of concern never even wavering in the slightest. After what felt like minutes she finally spoke. “Okay,” she said, and the concern left her face, replaced by a calm smile.

“Have a good night, Twi.”

“Don’t let the King of Quivering Cowardice bite,” I replied.

With that, she ducked down into the chest and I closed the lid, shoving it back against the wall. My head hit the pillow, a soft sigh escaping my lips.

It was all over.

After years of fighting, the King was finally defeated, and I could rest easy knowing that I had won. It was all over.

All over….

To think, this all started when I was only five years old. Oh, how time progresses so quickly. The turmoil I had to go through to get to this point wasn’t a walk in a park. There was much struggle that came with it, but I finally did it.

I won.

I threw the covers over my body, taking a moment to get cozy in my bed. Oh, bed, how I’ve missed you. After we celebrate tomorrow, I’m never going to leave your confines ever again.

After a minute of snuggling in, I felt the essence of sleep slowly dripping its way into my body, and just as I was about to give myself over to the godly intake of slumber, I heard a knocking at my bedroom door.

“Twilight, are you up? Come say goodbye to Cadence before she leaves for Trottingham.”

I sat up in bed, frustration settling into my face. “I’m coming, Mom!” I called back to her.

I threw my covers off, jumped out of bed, and walked over to the door, then left the room.

Time to give imagination a break.

Author's Note:

I'm putting the story on hold until for a while to focus on other projects. Consider this a decent enough ending for the story if you'd like, or if you can wait, feel free to anticipate yourself for more...

Comments ( 16 )

Admittedly, the thought of someone breaking into a house and leaving money in exchange for nonvital organs is kind of creepy. For starters, what if I use the money to buy more candy (or potatoes, I don’t know)? That means I would lose more teeth and the tooth fairy would have to give me more money, thus eventually achieving bankruptcy. Also, isn't "tooth" singular? This is two teeth we're talking about here, the plural form, wouldn't this be a job for the "Teeth" Fairy?

I am so with you there, Twi. Even though I've only read up to there, I'm already hooked. Keep up the great work!

8889309
I'm glad you're enjoying it! Have you read any further so far?

8891663
A little, but I've been busy. This is definitely a must finish, though.

8891946
Glad you're really into it!

8891952
Keep going, I hate it when I'm reading an interesting story and it isn't finished.

You missed the opportunity for so many Lion King references!

8892870
May be a while until the next chapter then. Initially, I plan on releasing new chapters monthly, but the computer I use to type everything on is school owned, so I'm stuck with using my phone to write. That means it will take extra effort ti pump new chapters out.

8902215
I hate iPads and iPhones for that sorrow thing. It's so hard.

Hello,

I have reviewed your story as part of the Reviewer Cafe. I hope that it is helpful to you, and as always, thank you for the time and effort you've put into this story. :twilightsmile:

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211585/reviewers-cafe/thread/379851/review-life-of-twi-by-muggonny

This was utterly bizarre. I did notice that you had the more malevolent tone reduced for the most part, at least compared to the previous installment. Still, I feel like you're crafting one big comedic villain origin story AU. The way Twilight interacts with her toys makes me worried about how she will treat the Main Five and Spike too.

10274883
I'm creating my own Cinematic Universe

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