• Member Since 4th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen 27 minutes ago

Kaliann25


E
Source

After being defeated by the Rainbooms, Adagio and Aria want some revenge.

Sonata only wants to make her sisters happy again.

And Lord Black Hat wants to make a profit. This cannot end well.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 19 )

I know it's really Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, BUT THIS MUST BE DONE!!!

I really like the premise of this story and await for the next parts of it. The idea is an interesting one for sure. :pinkiesmile: Though one question, is English your first language? I ask for some grammar errors but it is still neigh perfect.

8885008
No is not. Also, I didn't proofread fibefore publish I spotted several mistakes as well. I'll fix it later, when I have the time.

8885112
Alright. It is still a wonderful story. If you need a hand I'd be willing to help.

8885167
Sure, if you can proofread it for me, I'll be really grateful. But I have to warn you, this is a translation of my previous stories. The original is already finished.

Your take on Sonata is definitely different from my own, but it's not one I can begrudge. I'm enjoying your writing style to be sure.

Also, you absolutely NAILED Black Hat's tone in this. I didn't even know this cartoon was a thing until I checked out your story and I'm loving it, but it's great to see you're doing it justice.

I'm going to continue onwards, but right now it feels to me this fic is criminally underrated. Nicely done.

A solid start! Some grammatical errors here and there:

“Do not dare to spend any money on this!”

Would read better as "Do not spend any money on this!"

Still, quite enjoyable.

I will offer some quick criticism. The Grammer is still off in places, typically in character's dialogue. I actually kinda enjoy it with Black Hat and his associates as it's fun to imagine that English isn't their first language, though you might want to work on it a bit more with the Rainbooms and Dazzlings.

I'm also hoping that Aria and Adagio get fleshed out a bit, either deciding to get in on these hair-brained schemes of Sonata or maybe figure out they need to STOP her before she destroys the city. :rainbowlaugh:

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going and hope you write more! :pinkiehappy:

Another excellent chapter. Well Sonata might not have shrunk them but at least that giant Hamster should cause some damage. Also Dimentia was a hero!?:pinkiegasp:

8920364
To be honest, English is not my mother language neither. I translate my stories from Spanish to English in order to practice and improve.

8921579
Actually, that's a very popular theory among the Latin American Fandom.

8921608
Yes, I gathered as much. Keep at it. :twilightsmile:

You know it's funny, I had recently considered a scenario for a story where the Dazzlings somehow shrink the Rainbooms. Course this being a comedy I suppose it's expected it would fail. Still pretty amusing.

Great chapter and awesome story. Any chance of seeing a sequel in the future?

Well that was a real downer of an ending, hope you have a sequel planned.

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