Burnin' Love
“Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen,” Twilight counted, placing the bits into Spike’s claw. “Seventeen, eighteen and nineteen.” With a grin, Spike turned and placed the bits on the Map Table. Twilight watched as he pulled out a small pouch and spilled out its contents. “Is it enough?”
Spike spread the heap of bits around the table’s surface. “We’ll see!”
He counted quietly under his breath, dragging each bit across the table until his smile dropped. “Oh, man,” he muttered.
“What?” Twilight asked, craning her neck.
“I’m still two bits short.” He turned back to Twilight. “Well, I could wipe some of your windows or help you reshelf the books.”
“For just two bits? Spike, you know that’s too much. If it’s two more bits you need, then—”
“No!” He grabbed Twilight’s hoof before she could reach into her money pouch.
Twilight looked down at Spike’s annoyed glare and sighed. “I know, I know. No freebies. But really, Spike, two bits won’t make much of a difference.”
Spike shook his head. “But it does! I didn’t earn it! And I won’t take a single bit from you until I do.”
Twilight made a sound of exasperation, but her mouth quirked upward. “Of all the fearsome dragons in Equestria Spike, you’re the most stubborn! You’ve cleaned out gutters, helped nurse woodland creatures back to health and mowed Granny Smith’s lawn, which includes the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres. You’ve worked yourself to the bone this past month.” She pulled out two bits and held them out to Spike. “I think you’ve more than earned two little bits.”
Spike quickly reached out and closed Twilight’s hoof. “I promised, Twilight. I promised Starlight that I’d make our anniversary great this year. Everything I do, everything I give her, has to come from me. Me. Not anypony else. I want to earn every single bit on my own. That’s why I haven’t told you what her gift will be, or even how much it is, because I knew you’d give more than I needed.”
A guilty shade of red flushed Twilight’s cheeks, but she quickly ignored it. “That’s really sweet of you, Spike. But any job I’d give you isn’t worth two little bits!” She held out her hoof again. “Please, just take it.” Spike promptly pushed it back.
Soon, the two were engaged in a reverse tug of war.
“Spike. Take it.”
“But I didn’t earn it!”
“It’s just two bits!”
“I don’t want it!”
“I insist!”
“I don’t want your money, Twilight!”
A sound came from the entryway and the two froze in mid struggle. Starlight stared at them with a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. Her eyes flitted in between them, perplexed. Then she smiled, her eyes crinkling. Without a word, she stepped back into the hall with a slight wariness and continued to brush her teeth, disappearing into one of the other chambers.
“I don’t mean to undermine you, if that’s what you feel,” Twilight said in a low voice, her hoof still clutching the bits.“What you’re doing is very mature, and I respect that. I don’t know…maybe it’s because you’re growing up too fast for me.” She smiled sadly. “I’m just so used to you needing my help. Guess those days are over now.”
Spike’s expression softened. “Well…I’ll always need your help, Twilight. Always! Just…not as much anymore.”
Twilight gave a short nod and cleared her throat. “Right. Well…” She took Spike’s claw and pressed the two bits into his palm. “Consider this as my anniversary gift. From me to you.”
Spike’s claw closed around the money. “Alright,” he chuckled. “Thanks, Twilight.” Twilight pulled him to her side and rested her chin on top of his head. Spike’s eyebrows shot up. “Twilight, are you…crying?”
Twilight gulped and quickly wiped the traces of liquid off his head. “Your scales poked my eye,” she squeaked, rubbing at her face.
Spike pulled away immediately. “Oh gosh! I’m sorry!”
“Heh. It’s alright.” She briefly rubbed his head and gave him a push. “Okay, now go. Whatever shop you’re going to, you’ll want to the first one there when it opens.”
Spike eagerly gathered all his hard-earned money into his pouch and sprinted out of the throne room.
“Hey, where ‘are you going?” Starlight called out from the bathroom, still brushing her teeth.
Spike skidded to a halt and spun himself around. He entered the bathroom, stood up on his toes, and kissed her cheek. “You’ll see,” Spike said slyly.
Starlight gave a knowing look. “It’s something expensive, isn’t it?” But Spike had already taken off. “Don’t go expensive!”
The sun had just begun its trek into the sky by the time Spike found his way into town. It was going to be a beautiful day, no doubt. Given the importance of the day’s date, however, anything less than gorgeous would be a disservice to the pony he was out and about for in the first place.
Spike whisked his way down the cobblestone paths, taking but a brief moment to inhale the fresh, dew-ridden morning air. On a normal day, he would’ve taken the time to frolic about and enjoy the morning, but… well, on a normal morning he’d probably still be in bed, but the point remains that he had little time for nature’s antics.
He was on a mission.
“Okay, let’s see here.” Upon reaching the town center, Spike took a pause. With a pouch full of bits, almost everything he saw seemed like it begged to be purchased. The fresh apple pastries that Apple Bloom was putting out on her cart, the gorgeous flowers Roseluck was setting up, the random salespony trying to peddle meteor insurance door-to-door… so many things he didn’t need but wanted to purchase because he could.
But no!
There was one store and one store only he had his eyes set on. It was just a tad bit in the distance on the other side of the square. And its closed sign was just being flipped to open!
“Barnyard Bargains… here I come!”
It took all of twenty-two seconds for Spike to dart down the road and fly through the doors of the building. Filthy Rich, the store’s owner, blinked a few times at the purple blur that just saw fit to nearly break his door down.
“Uh, you alright there, son?” the stallion said.
Spike was practically keeled over from the overexertion. “Oh... hey there… Mr. Rich…” Spike coughed the words out between pants.
The stallion scratched his head. “You sure seem to be in an awfully big hurry. You looking for something in particular? I can help you find—”
“Kites!” Spike shouted out, hopping to his feet. “I need to look at the kites!”
“Kites?” Filthy said. “Not quite what I’d consider worthy of barreling down my door for, but far be it for me to turn down a customer. Right this way, Spike!”
The dragon smiled and followed the stallion down a few aisles until they reached an area of shelving in the back.
“Here you are, Spike!” He said, pointing to the many different items, all of which were folded up kites, waiting to be put together. “Each one of these here bags contains all the parts needed to put together a kite of the finest quality… at a very fair price, if I do say so myself.”
“Woah!” Spike said, eyeing the sheer variety available. “How much are they?”
“Well, it depends on the exact model, but they range anywhere from fifteen to twenty bits. But, keep in mind, these are high quality contraptions, here. Not your run of the mill junk.” Filthy held one of the bags up. “You won’t find a better one this side of the Apple Farm.”
Spike was going to remind him that the only other thing on this side of the farm besides downtown Ponyville was the Everfree, but the point rang true enough. And besides, with his twenty-one bits, he had more than enough to get even the best kite they had.
“Thank you so much!” Spike stated. “I’ll browse ‘em for a bit and let you know.”
“Sounds like a plan, Spike,” he replied. “I’ll be at the register if you need me.”
“Got it.”
And now it was time for the search to begin.
“Now, lemme see…” He stood back and observed the rows of bags with a critical eye. Each bag shined with different colors. He eyed a snazzy-looking orange package, but it didn’t seem like Starlight’s style. He discarded the soft blue one immediately—it looked like it would snap like a twig before the wind even reached the delicate thing.
Bright and sunny? No, too bright for the eyes, he decided.
Pink and frilly? Not a chance.
Purple and mysterious? Maybe, but Spike didn’t quite see her jumping for joy over it. He needed something…fresh. Something that would stand out, something sturdy, something that would make her smile.
And then…the angels burst out in song. Under the ceiling lights, a good-sized crimson package sat almost in the far corner, partially obscured by a larger lime-green one. Pupils shimmering, Spike slowly reached out for it and grasped it. The package crinkled and folded in his claws as he pulled it out.
Yes, yes!
Not too big or too small. Seemed strong enough for it to soar in the sky, but not too powerful to control. It wasn’t frilly or dainty, but it was astonishingly attractive. The material was a brilliant shade of red, making it stand out from all the other kites Starlight owns, and hard to miss in the distant skies.
“It’s perfect,” he marveled, peering at it from front to back. “Oh-ho, yes!”
Without a moment’s waste, Spike zipped all the way to the front of the store and placed the package onto the register’s counter. “How much for this one?”
Filthy stepped up and examined the package with a low whistle. “Fine kite you picked out. But this here kite’s one of the high ones. Nineteen bits.”
“I’ll take it,” Spike said without a second’s hesitation. “It’s the perfect one!”
“You got it.” He took the bits Spike placed on the counter and began the purchase. “I take it this is a special occasion. He glanced at Spike at the corner of his eye and a sly smile slithered across his muzzle. “Couldn’t be for a special lady, now could it?”
Spike felt a strong heat rising from his neck to his cheeks. “W-What makes you say that?”
“Not that hard to put together, Son. It ain’t Princess Twilight’s birthday—else all of Ponyville would be makin’ a big fuss. And you ain’t the sort to go all out for a kite—but that Glimmer gal always seems to have a strange thing for ‘em. Two and two together.” He winked. “Plus, you got that gleam in your eye. I’d know it anywhere. She’ll love it.”
Spike leaned forward with pleading eyes. “Please don’t tell anypony! It’s her anniversary present. You have no idea how long I’ve had to keep her gift a secret. I really want her to be surprised—she deserves something special, you know?”
Filthy chuckled. “I know the feeling.I felt the same way about Spoiled’s gifts when we started dating.” His face fell a little, and his eyes trailed away for a brief moment. “Tell you what. You two seem like a lovely couple, and I always like seein’ you around. I’ll take two bits off the price for the occasion.”
Spike stared at him. “W-What? Really?”
Filthy Rich pushed the two extra bits across the counter. “Think nothing of it. Just send Miss Glimmer my best wishes.”
Spike took the bits and slid them into his pouch. “Wow…. thanks so much, Mr. Rich!”
After Filthy had given Spike a large (and oddly very fancy-looking) paper bag to conceal the package in, Spike raced out of the store and down the road. “Flowers?” Roseluck offered as he passed her stand. He slowed in his walk, considering. He did have four bits left over, thanks to Filthy Rich. But as he neared, his eyes watered at the overwhelming scent of the various number of flowers set before him. His throat started to constrict, and his nose tickled. Clutching his paper bag, Spike quickly backed away and around the flower stand. “Sorry, I can’t right now, but I’ll come back later!” he called.
Roseluck sighed as he ran off. “That’s what they all say.”
Spike soon arrived at the Castle, huffing and puffing. “Whew. Safe!”Then he stopped and sniffed the air. “What’s that smell?”
“Spike!” Twilight gasped, trotting towards him. “We didn’t expect you back so soon! Did you pick out your gift already?”
“It wasn’t a hard choice,” Spike replied, gesturing to the paper bag. “This one had her name written all over it.” His face crumpled, and he quickly pinched his nose. “What is that? It smells like zombies set on fire!”
“Your anniversary dinner. Starlight’s cooking it as a surprise.”
Spike’s claw fell away. “It smells delightful!”
“Twilight!”
“Starlight’s coming!” Twilight hissed. Spike gulped as Starlight’s hoofsteps approached. He grabbed the paper bag and ran off behind one of the castle pillars just as Starlight rounded the corner. “I whipped up another batch of macaroni and cheese,” she said breathlessly, presenting it to Twilight. It looked like a steaming pile of cat vomit.
“Um…wow! That looks scrumptious, Starlight!”
“Really? I mean do you think he’ll really like it? Try some, so I can be sure!”
Twilight gulped. “Uh—well thanks, but I had a big breakfast.”
“You had a muffin! Come on, Twilight. Just one bite. Please?”
With a sigh and a soft whimper, Twilight reluctantly opened her mouth as Starlight shoved a spoonful into her mouth. She chewed slowly and squeezed her eyes shut as she swallowed.
“Well?” Starlight said intently.
Twilight beamed. “I think…!” Her stomach lurched violently, and she immediately sat down, hunching into herself. “I think I made a mistake,” she whispered. Then she erupted in a fit of coughs.
Starlight gave a frustrated groan. “Great! A whole month of practicing, down the drain!”
“T-That’s…not true!” Twilight coughed out. “You’ve improved a lot! A-ack! A-At least I’m able to swallow your food now!”
Starlight looked positively crestfallen as Twilight struggled through another coughing fit. “Starlight… you’ve practiced really hard and gave it your best effort…but maybe cooking isn’t really your thing. Why don’t you try giving Spike some gems? He’ll like that!”
“But I did that last year,” Starlight pointed out. “I wanted to do something different, something unique. I wanted to make something with my own hooves instead of just using magic. And I can’t even make macaroni!”
Twilight stood up shakily, clearing her throat. “Well…t-there’s always plan B if you want.”
Starlight looked doubtful. “Maybe, but…hmm. Are you sure he’ll like that over an anniversary dinner? What if it’s not special enough?”
“I’m…positive. It’ll come from you, won’t it? He’ll love it to pieces.”
“Well…alright. Thanks, Twilight. Here.” She handed Twilight the plate of macaroni. “I’m going out to get the materials I need. If you see Spike, keep him busy, will you?”
Twilight stared down at the plate, her face turning a troubling shade of green. “Mm-hmm.” As soon as Starlight left, Spike emerged from his hiding place, his paper bag bundled up in his arms.
“I can’t believe she went all to that trouble just for me,” Spike said softly as Twilight struggled to keep her food down. “She’s the best, isn’t she, Twilight?” He turned sideways and peered at the plate of macaroni. “It doesn’t even look half-bad!”
Twilight rubbed her throat gingerly. “She’d do a lot better if she didn’t put so much pepper in it. I nearly choked on it!”
Spike froze. “P-Pepper?” His eyes darted toward the dish.
Twilight only came to the realization a split-second after Spike did. “Oh, no, Spike!”
But it was too late. “Ah…ah…KYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEWWWWWWWWW!”
And all at once, Spike’s package, Spike’s lovely crimson package, Spike’s expensive lovely crimson package erupted into flames before their very eyes. Spike jaw went completely slack as Starlight’s anniversary gift vanished into thin air.
The two stared at the empty air for a long, long, time.
Then Spike belched, and a scroll appeared. Twilight took it and opened it slowly.
Spike, what a lovely gift! It is not even my Birthday!
Thanks for the kite!
Sincerely, Princess Celestia
Spike started to hyperventilate, and Twilight tossed away the scroll. “Okay, okay, we can fix this!”
“FIX IT!?” Spike cried. “That was all the material I needed to put a kite together! It was seventeen bits! SEVENTEEN BITS!”
“Spike, relax! I’ll just send a letter and ask for it back. She’ll understand!”
Spike grabbed Twilight by the shoulders and shook her. “You can’t just give the Ruler of Equestria a gift and then demand it back!”
“Hey, there’s still macaroni in me!” Twilight shouted.
Spike let her go and ran his claws over his scales. “What am I gonna do?”
“Take it easy,” Twilight soothed. “I’ll just get you another kite.”
“Get me another kite!? All of my hard work, all those jobs and chores—gone!” He rubbed his chin, his mind going into overdrive. “Okay, okay. If I can’t buy a kite, then maybe I can make one. Yeah…yeah, I’ll make one! But where to get the material…”
A lightbulb flicked on in his mind. “I know where. I’ll be back later, Twilight!”
Twilight watched him dash out of the castle and shook her head. “I’m taking a nap.”
For the second time that day, Spike found himself running back into town. The air had changed significantly; now it smelled of wildflowers and deep-dished pastries instead of fresh morning dew. Judging by the sun, it wasn’t quite afternoon yet, but it was certainly on its way. All the more reason to hurry.
It wasn’t long before he reached the place he was looking for and promptly knocked on the door.
“We’re closed until further notice!” a voice called from inside.
“Sweetie Belle, open up! It’s an emergency!”
There was a rustle and a click. Sweetie Belle opened the door with a smile. “Hey, Spike. Rarity left to take care of a client. She left me in charge of the boutique until she gets back.”
Spike sprinted up the steps. “I need some material to make a kite. I’ll pay you two bits for it!”
Sweetie brightened. “A kite?” Spike slipped inside, and she closed the door. “Who for? Oh! Oh! It’s for Starlight, isn’t it?”
“You got anything kinda sturdy?” Spike asked, glancing around the boutique. “I’ll need fabric that looks great but won’t rip in the wind.”
Sweetie rubbed her chin, her expression sneaky. “Hmm. I think I have just what you’re looking for.” She took Spike past the dress and coat racks and weaved through the stands that displayed fresh new hat designs. “We have loads of fabric strong enough for kite sailing,” Sweetie said as they neared the fabric displays.
“Not exactly made for it, but it’s close enough. Rarity ordered these materials specifically for athletic clients. If they can run, jump, roll and tumble in these, your kite can definitely stand strong winds.”
Spike pointed to one of the red fabrics. “I’ll take that one!” It wasn’t nearly as great as the kite spike had bought, but the color would still stand out against Starlight’s other kites. Sweetie cut off the right amount of fabric, and Spike placed the bits in her hoof. “I’ll need something to hold it all together…hey Sweetie, would you mind if I take some sticks from your backyard?”
Sweetie Bell raised her eyebrows. “You’re going to make a kite out of sticks?”
“Sure! I saw Maud’s boyfriend do it once.”
“Be my guest then! Besides, I wanna see this.”
So, Spike and Sweetie went out to the backyard and gathered as many sticks as they could. Then, after a careful assortment of which stick should go where, Spike explained the process and went over it step by step, never rushing. He handled each stick with care and weaved the kite with a long vine Sweetie Belle found. After a careful fold here and a firm tug there, Spike finally held up the finished product.
“There,” he nodded, turning it over. “Now all we need is some string, and…” he trailed off, frowning.
He and Sweetie stared at the kite and glanced at each other. “It’s…a good kite, Spike,” Sweetie said. “It looks like it can fly pretty well, but…”
“It looks…”
“Yeah, it looks pretty plain. Anniversary-wise, I mean.”
Spike sighed and hung his head, letting the kite fall onto the grass. “Some anniversary gift.”
“Well…don’t worry! All it needs is some sprucing up. I think I have an idea—wait right here!” Sweetie Belle ran inside the Boutique and reappeared a short time later.
“What’s all that?” Spike asked, gesturing the large box Sweetie had returned with.
“Just some things. I collect all sorts of things to keep stored up in case of a class project or a gift. Maybe some of these might make your kite look a little more interesting.”
She sat the box down and started pulling out items. “I’ve got glitter…. ribbons…lace…confetti…”
“Those might work,” Spike said reluctantly, picking up a container of glitter. “Maybe I’ll use a little bit of this around the edges.”
“…Scissors, if you need it…glue…ooh, some gems Rarity let me keep. We can use the teeny ones for the kite tail.”
Spike could almost cry with joy. Maybe he could give Starlight a great gift after all. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle. Really. I don’t know what I’d do without your help!”
Sweetie Belle grinned with a bouncy tilt of her head. “Don’t sweat it. My anniversary gift to you!”
Now that Spike thought about it, he was getting a lot of gifts today. Twilight’s extra money wasn’t surprising, but Filthy Rich’s lower price and Sweetie Belle’s decorations were a special kind of surprise.
“Ooh!” Sweetie said, holding something up to Spike. “I’ve got feathers too!”
Spike opened his mouth, but a tickling sensation assaulted his nose. “A-ah! A-ah…”
Sweetie’s eyes widened. “Oh no!”
But Spike was quick this time. He rolled far away from the kite and turned his head. “ACHOOOOOO!”
Green fire shot through the backyard, leaving behind a strong singing smell.
“Bless you!” Sweetie Belle piped.
“Whew,” Spike sighed. “That was close. I didn’t burn anything important, did I?”
Sweetie scanned the backyard. “Uh…oooh. You did burn some of Rarity’s roses,” she said, pointing to the corner of a flower bed, which had been singed off. “My bad.”
“Oh, man,” Spike groaned.
“Don’t worry. It’s only five or six roses. The rest are fine. And I’ll tell Rarity that I was the one who caused you to sneeze.”
Spike belched, and a scroll appeared. Gulping, Spike read its contents.
Spike…another fine gift!
First the wonderful kite and now these roses. I am not quite sure what to say. Thank you very much for sending me these gifts, though they are not very necessary. Have nice afternoon, Spike.
Formally, Princess Celestia
Spike facepalmed with a force never-before seen by ponykind. “Well, at least someone is benefiting from my instinctive lack of social grace.”
“That’s the spirit!” Sweetie squeaked.
The dragon chuckled. “Well, I guess I may as well get started. I could use some extra time to get this ready, but time is something I just don’t have. Pass me the glue and glitter, Sweetie!”
“Consider it passed!”
Spike proceeded to spend the next two hours, an inordinate amount of time to some, decorating and recreating what would hopefully be a kite to remember. He made sure to get full use out of the tool box that Sweetie had provided. There was glitter, there was marker, there was ribbon… there were even bits of materials Spike had never seen before.
If it looked like it could provide some flare, he included it.
After he had finally accomplished what he set out to do, he stood back and admired his work. “There she is. What do you think, Sweetie?”
The mare, who had since taken up to lounging around the yard waiting for Spike to finish, perked up and eyed the piece up and down. “Wow! It’s uh… Wow!”
Spike sighed. “I’m not sure if that’s good or bad but frankly, I’m afraid to find out.”
Sweetie Belle bit her lip before responding. “I mean, what I meant was that I’ve never seen a kite with so much… passion and uh, effort behind it. It’s really bold!”
Spike looked over his work once more. “Well, I can definitely tell you there was passion put into it. But it’s probably a bit lacking in the actual “good” department.”
Sweetie shook her head. “Spike, don’t worry about it. Starlight isn’t going to care if your gift is a horrific travesty not fit to be looked on by ponykind.”
“You want some pepper to go with the salt you’re pouring on that wound?”
“Sorry!” Sweetie blushed and let out a sigh. “My point is that what actually matters is the love and work you put into it.”
Spike rubbed the back of his head. “That just may be, but you don’t know Starlight. She can be one cold and calculating mare. I mean, how long was she running that cult?”
The mare used a hoof to whack Spike upside the head. “Spike, pay attention! What I’m saying is it’s obvious how much you care about her. That’s what matters. Every mare wants to be swept off her hooves… even if she doesn’t show it on the outside.”
Spike chuckled and smiled. “Fair enough. I’ll take your word for it. But, if this all blows up in my face and I end up facing a fate worse than death itself… you’re totally not invited to my funeral.”
“Deal.”
The two shared a quick hoof-bump and Spike was on his way. Well... Almost. He made sure to grab a small gift bag and some ribbon from Rarity’s place before leaving. He at least knew a little bit about proper gift giving.
It was a quick walk back toward the town. Spike had his gift in one claw and hope in the other. A hope that things would work out. A hope that Starlight would love his gift. A hope that nothing else could happen in the time it took him to get to the Castle.
Of course, he couldn’t just leave well enough alone and let things go as smoothly as possible. No, of course not. Instead, he remembered the last two bits in his pocket and decided he could add one last bit of flare to his gift… to make up for the ugliness of it, of course.
He meandered over to Filthy Rich’s shop once more, this time bypassing conversation altogether and heading straight for his destination.
“Alright, Spike, here we go. Gotta find the perfect icing to put on this anniversary gift cake.”
A wall of various greeting cards was before him. There were cards for all occasions: graduations to birthdays, get well soons and sorry for your losses. But, Spike drew his eyes to one section only.
“Anniversaries!”
The dragon immediately gave every card the eye test. If it didn’t stand out to him at first glance, it wasn’t good enough for Starlight. He was able to use this method to single out a few items which he pulled off the shelf. There were a couple fun looking ones, but the messages didn’t seem to match. There was another that had a wonderful message but the pattern on the card was far too boring.
And then the Lord hath smileth upon him.
He looked at the last card, a very colorful one with pink hearts and giant, colorful words on the front reading “Let’s Get Crazy!”. Spike couldn’t but grin at reading it. Was it mildly inappropriate? Yes. Was it perfect for the two of them? Absolutely.
Now, the real test: Did the words on the inside match?
Spike gently opened the card and began reading:
You’re the love of my life,
That much is true.
When life’s at its worse,
I can depend on you.
Things might get rough,
They just might get sour.
But you lift me up,
Even in my darkest hour.
I just want you to know,
That I love you to death.
Now screw this card,
Let’s got have some fun in the bedroom
His decision was made for him.
“Mr. Rich! I must have this card. I have two bits. Let’s make some magic happen.” Spike slammed his money on the counter.
The stallion scratched his head. “Well, my children’ll have to go hungry but I think we can make it work. Two bits will be fine.”
Spike beamed at him and raced out the door with the card.
Now this… this was a perfect anniversary present. A clawmade kite and a hilarious yet romantic card to go with it.
Spike used his free claw to look at the card once more. Of course, this would be yet one more fatal mistake he’d make that day. For as he was looking upon the card and walking to the Castle a cloud of dust was kicked up by a nearby wagon and that cloud of dust infiltrated his nostrils with extreme force. Enough force to cause a—
“Achoo!”
Spike rubbed his nose and then looked at the empty claw held in front of him. The card was gone.
“Aw, crap.”
Spike prepared himself for what was coming and sure enough he felt his belly growling followed by a loud burp and a scroll popping out in front of him.
Given the other gifts he had ‘given’ Celestia that day… He knew this could only go south.
Dear Spike,
I want to preface this by saying I am sincerely flattered by the gifts you have given me today. The kite was lovely. The flowers were gorgeous. And, I have to admit, the card is extremely sweet… if not a bit ‘to the point’ shall we say.
However, what you are insinuating with these gifts is something that I feel we must talk to about in person as opposed to over letter. I will be making a personal visit to speak with you this coming week so we may, um, discuss things.
Love,
Princess Celestia
Spike smacked his forehead. He was the only creature on the planet that could try to get his mare a nice anniversary present and end up asking out a Princess in the process.
But, that was a bridge he’d cross when the time came. For now… he needed to get home and see Starlight. And he needed to do it before anything else could happen and mess things up.
This time, the trek back to the Castle proved to be a long one. He had been running around all day, but the fact that so many precious gifts to Starlight are now in another mare’s hooves was beginning to weigh Spike down. At least he had something to give. And something was always better than nothing—even if the something might or might not get him killed.
As he neared the Castle, he could see a familiar figure struggling with something on the opposite road.
Starlight.
He sighed wearily. There was no turning back now.
“Spike!” Starlight called. As they neared each other, Spike could see something smudged on Starlight’s face upon further inspection.
“What’s that on your chin?”
With wide eyes, Starlight scrubbed at her face and inspected her hoof. “Eugh.” She lowered her hoof and smiled ruefully. “Your anniversary present.” She set down the object she was lugging around and let out a puff. It was covered with a white sheet. “You look like you had a day.”
“You too.”
With little strength they had left, the two embraced one another, a bundle of exhausted laughter.
“Happy Anniversary,” Starlight said with a light kiss. “This one just might be our last.”
“Happy Anniversary,” Spike said with a squeeze. “I think you might be right.” He turned his face up and gave a heartfelt grin, and Starlight leaned her head against his, briefly rubbing noses.
Without further ado, they started to present their gifts. Starlight started to open hers first. “It might be a little…different,” he said nervously as she undid the ribbon.
“You went expensive, didn’t you?”
Spike paused, weighing his response. “Mmm…more or less?”
Starlight pulled the kite out of the gift bag and stared.
Spike chewed his lip and beads of sweat started to gather at his forehead. After a pregnant pause, Starlight’s face lit up with laughter. She turned the kite around, and Spike inwardly cringed at the sight of it.
Large heaps of purple and gold glitter lined the kite’s edges, along with several small green ribbons glued on top of it. The kite’s tail shined with tiny gems like Sweetie Belle had suggested, though a few had already fallen off during the trip over here. And last, but unfortunately not least, in the very center of the kite was a crudely drawn picture of Starlight’s face with a crooked smile.
Spike’s cheeks burned as he stared at his creation. “I know. It’s bad. I promise I’ll work harder to get you a better one. You deserve a lot better than…that.”
Starlight turned sideways and held the kite out of reach with her magic. “Don’t you dare!” she said protectively, barely suppressing her grin. “This is the best gift anypony’s ever given me. Ever!”
“…You’re joking, right?”
“One little criticism though…” Spike braced himself as Starlight held up the kite next to her face, lifting an eyebrow. “My eyes are kinda blue.”
Spike looked sheepish as he glanced at kite Starlight’s big brown eyes. “Sweetie Belle didn’t have much blue,” he admitted. “I used what was left of it for the streaks in your mane.”
Starlight erupted in a fit of snorts, and Spike gazed up hopefully. “So…you really don’t hate it?”
His beloved managed to calm herself down and wiped a tear from her eye. “Oh, Spike, I was so afraid that you’d go and buy something flashy or pricey. It’s gifts like these that I love. The hard work, the dedication…the passion…”
Spike could practically hear Sweetie Belle whispering ‘I told you so’ all the way from the boutique. He changed his stance, crossing his arms with a cocky smile. “Hee-yeah. Good thing I didn’t spend any money on something expensive. Heh…”
“Very good thing! I love it.” She held the kite close as Spike started to open his present. “Mine’s a little…well…”
Spike pulled away the white sheet. It was a painting of him dressed as his favorite superhero, Humdrum. Humdrum Spike’s fist was raised to the rising sun, leaping off a 35-foot building. Down below, Starlight was positively swooning, with a string of hearts circling her head.
At least, that’s what Spike thought it was. The painting was very decent, except the fact that it was largely smudged in the middle.
Starlight ran up to the portrait and examined it with a cry of dismay. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” She lifted the white sheet with her magic, revealing streaks of wet paint smeared on it. “Oh, sewer apples.”
Spike couldn’t help but laugh and hugged Starlight’s foreleg. “It’s perfect.”
“But…but it’s all smudged! The paint didn’t dry as quickly I as thought,” she said with a whine. “My face is gorgeous on that kite. You look like a blur!”
“Yep,” Spike grinned. “But a lucky blur.”
Starlight sighed but looked a little less frustrated. “I’m sorry, Spike. I promised myself I wouldn’t use any magic for your gift. But I guess I should have made an exception for the drying part.”
“Wet or dry…you did it for me.” Starlight sighed again, but happily went in for a kiss when Spike rose to her height. “Trust me. It’s totally going up on a wall. Maybe the throne room!”
“Please no.”
“Why not? We’ll frame it. It’ll be nice!”
Starlight rolled her eyes and quickly changed the subject. “Say we fly this kite.”
“Whatever you wish, M’lady.”
With the afternoon sun shining down on them, the two ran up a nearby hill for extra space. They eagerly unraveled the kite line, and Spike ran with the kite while Starlight held onto the end. He kept running until Starlight could feel a strong gust of wind. “Let it go!” she cheered.
Spike released it with a triumphant push. The kite flew up in the air before promptly dropping back down to the ground. They stared as the wind whistled by. Starlight lifted her eyes to Spike, who looked thoroughly embarrassed. “I…think I might have went overboard with the decorations.”
Starlight erupted into high-pitched giggles. “A kite that can’t even fly,” Spike grumbled, kicking at the grass.
“Well, don’t worry. We can probably frame it right next to your painting.”
Spike snorted. “Well…what now? I'm pretty hungry, how about you?"
Now it was Starlight’s turn to look embarrassed. “Uh…Spike, about our anniversary dinner—"
But before Starlight could finish, the two were suddenly sitting at a booth behind a fancy table covered with a crisp white cloth. The quiet whistle of the wind was replaced with the strains of a classical violin and low murmurs of several conversations at once.
Spike blinked and saw a plate of gems in front of him. “What—”
“I was planning to come and see you later in the week, but I’ve decided that it was best if we discussed this matter sooner rather than later, before things got out of hand.”
Spike turned his head and looked up with astonishment at the pony sitting next to him. “P-Princess Celestia?”
The Princess merely gave a distracted nod. “It pleases me greatly that you think so…fondly of me. And I you, Spike. We’ve known each other for many years, and I’ve always enjoyed having you around. I… brought you to this restaurant so we could spend some time together…” She paused, looking Spike directly in the eye. “…as friends.”
“Uh…Princess—”
“Oh…how can I say this without hurting your feelings…Spike, it is not you. It’s—”
“Starlight!” Spike cut in with a nervous chuckle.
Celestia frowned, confused. “Starlight?” She turned her head and saw Starlight sitting on the other side of her. “Oh—Starlight! What brings you here?”
Starlight quirked an eyebrow. “I think you teleported us both,” she said, waving the end of the kite line. Across the table, Spike was still holding on to the kite, connecting them both.
“Oh…I see.” Her eyes darted between her subjects, while Spike began to stammer out an explanation.
“S-Starlight, it’s not—”
“Spike,” Starlight hissed, leaning across Celestia’s body, her hoof cupping her mouth. “Anniversary dinner.” She leaned back and grinned, pointing to the plate of cheese cubes in front of the Princess.
“Um…are you gonna eat that, Princess?”
Celestia blinked, but quickly recovered. “Uh—certainly, Starlight.” She pushed the plate towards the eager unicorn and watched as she and Spike gobble down their meals.
Before long, the three of them were enjoying each other’s company and dining on expensive delicacies. “We gotta take some of this back to Twilight,” Spike munched, halfway through his carrot stew. “So delicious!”
“Mm-hmm! Oh! Spike,” Starlight whispered, slurping up a noodle. “If you flirt with Celestia next year, maybe she’ll take us to that dessert factory in Canterlot we’ve always talked about.” She paused. “But don’t make a habit out of it.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Best anniversary ever?”
“Best anniversary ever.”
“Who’s up for garlic bread?” Celestia offered, levitating the large dish to the table.
“Us!”
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I think you might want to fix that
8879561
After all the editing checks, that's the one I miss
This was a blast!
Both of you have outdone yourselves. I can't stop grinning like an idiot.
8879561
I feel that rough loving is a coming.
Oh my god, this is absolutely adorable and hysterical at the same time! I love it!
Great job you two!
Heavily graphic pornogrind sequel when?
8880307
When I damn well say so, you crazy basement dweller. Now... thanks for coming over tonight and chilling with me. It was legit.
Oh my God my sides!
I fangirled every minute and while reading this. This story is gold, I’ll definitely add it to my favourites and read over and over
That was cute. Didn't expect the Celestia bit at the end, but looks like that wrapped up the last little problem of the day smoothly. You gotta have one thick picture frame to put a kite made of sticks on the wall.
Now that's sucky, getting someone else to help you out and paying them their own bits in return. Think ya meant just you.
I dunno how many times I've typed "you" but at least 50% of the time it changes to your.
Twas a good read! Liked and favorited.
8879600
Also, I think Spike just felt it polite to give some bits for Rarity's fabric, and who would pass up a quick buck? 
Indeed! Lovely working with you!
8880739
YOOOOU!
This was a cute, fun, adorable read.
Odd, why is Spike acting like early-season Twilight with regards to Celestia here?
Still, this was a blast.
8881133
I'm imagining Spike's kite and Starlight's painting being snuck in that friend of Shining Armour's art exhibit. No idea what season that was, but that'd be pretty amusing
8881315
I think you may be thinking of a fanfiction. As far as I remember, Shining Armor hasn't got any friends of his own, excluding family and possibly Sunburst.
8881428
Nah it was the same episode that Twilight watched Flurry. That was just the beginning bit of the episode.
Edit: Yeah this dude right here.
I dunno why, but suddenly I hate Celestia with a passion.
I think you meant dessert factory, not desert factory.
"StarSpike is best ship"
Well said, sir. Well said
8881466
Ah, right. I forgot about him. My mistake.
8882251
Frankly I forgot all about him till I asked myself what would happen with an art exhibit in town. Then was when I remembered there already was one.
That was a lot of fun to read. Great job!
Love the side flirting with, Celestia.
8881315
I like that idea!
8881605
Whoops! Now that would be strange
8882887
There will be! Got bitten by the writing bug recently. Thank you
8883745
Let it take over
8886222
That's quite alright! It's totally normal, trust me
8889808 That's a long bit!
Awww! As soon as I found out what Spike was going to get her, I was just like: That's perfect! She'd love that!
HA! Here I thought it was turned to ash and Celestia actually ended up with it!
You're making her uncomfortable with all of this, Spike.
The idea to utilize Spike's little accidents to not only add humor to the story, but also to have it lead to the happy ending was so clever!
Aww, Sweetie Belle, you always know just what to say!
Of course her advice that followed was much better. 
I was thinking that when it said he used everything that would add some flare! Functionality is important too!
Thank you for the read!
Lovely and hilarious. Kept laughing to myself everytime Spike sent a gift to Celestia
This has all of my love. All of it. Content on this site rarely deserves it theses. Thank you for this.
Craine...
Absolutely lovely and hilarious!