War Games

by Darkstarling

2 - Agreements

Twilight was bewildered. Nonplussed. Possibly so far as befuddled. On her personal Weirdometer Scale and using a calibration from Celestia to Pinkie Pie, this was a solid Flutterbat. In fact, she decided, she hadn’t had a morning this strange since they all had to talk Luna out of granting her Ponyville as her personal demesne. Though that wasn't nearly as exciting, except in an 'interesting times' sort of way.

"And so, in conclusion, I believe it would be to the great benefit of Equestria to order a national joint operations exercise against a simulated hostile force. Effective immediately." Ah, thought Twilight, she's done. Tempest had given a good presentation. Clear, to the point, and remarkably concise. She had even avoided the tendency to ramble, a flaw she knew her own presentations tended towards in the name of thoroughness. Speaking of which...

"I'm sorry, I just want to make sure I'm perfectly clear" Twilight said. "You think that, in order to save Equestria from invasion, I should plan and execute an invasion of Equestria." This was deliberately missing the point, of course. It was well known that the best way to get answers was to be wrong and let others correct you. At least she was sure it was well known. She'd read it in any case, and that was the important part.

Tempest cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. "Twilight, are you trying to draw out information by being deliberately dense?"

"No! Well, maybe. A little. Did it work?" Twilight smiled hopefully. Tempest just facehoofed.

"Urgh, Twilight. No. Just no. I've had enough manipulative boss crap in my life. Besides, that doesn't work when the person you're doing it to knows you're smarter than that. It just makes it look like you aren't paying attention."

"Oh" Twilight's ears went back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. I'd just read a book on management, and...well, I'm sorry. The Storm King did that alot then?"

"Oh, he did that constantly. Among other things." Tempest frowned. "You know, even now I can't tell which parts were real and which were him being silly so we'd underestimate him? Near as I can tell, he just took his natural personality and ran with it to make it work. Somehow."

"That sounds really frustrating" said Twilight. "The only thing worse than dealing with a fool is someone you know could do better but won't." It was certainly a feeling Twilight was aware of. Her dealings with a certain group of ex-Crusaders sprang to mind.

"It was. So please Twilight, spare me the act. You're brilliant and we both know it. Just tell me what you think."

Twilight flushed a little at being called brilliant, and nodded. She really should have known better, she thought. Honesty was an Element after all. Which Tempest had just demonstrated, actually, if rather bluntly, and cut off her attempt at deceit. She should take notes for her paper on...no, focus.

"Well, to be honest, I think it's an intriguing idea but it has alot of flaws to work through." Tempest's face fell as Twilight continued. "Most notably, we don't want our preparations to prevent a war to provoke a real one. We also don't want any potential enemies to spy on our exercises and get ideas. Spike's Danger Room suggestion is interesting, but Luna has only a limited control of the Dreamscape on a large scale without potentially causing harm or creating independent Dreams. For something like the comics portray, Luna would have to personally oversee all of it and it wouldn't sustain enough ponies to be a workable exercise. All that being said," and here a manic grin suddenly split Twilight's face from ear to ear, "this will be way too much fun to pass up. Spike, take a letter! And then go get the girls. We're going to MAKE this work!"

---

"This is so awesome!" Shouted Dash, zooming through the air above the table in the newly dubbed War Room. Twilight thought she was lucky the castle came with such high ceilings. "Booyah! Round two, smash! And I've been thinking, right? So they set up here and they're coming in but we're all VROOOOM! And..." Rainbow continued to ramble and, well, dash about in the air above them, making less and less sense as she got more excited. As far as Twilight could tell, she was acting out a battle now, with herself in the role of heroic front line general. This wasn't particularly unusual for Dash. What was strange was that she currently seemed to be engaged in a life-or-death battle with the enemy champion, and looked like she was losing. Something with fingers, given that she was making a good effort to choke herself.

"Kick him in the throat" Tempest said dryly.

"Heh, thanks Tempest. Pow! And then..." And she was off again. Twilight and Tempest shared a Class Two Look, with mutual raised eyebrows. Though to be fair to Dash, thought Twilight, she was hardly the only one taking the idea oddly. Pinkie hadn't stopped giggling since Tempest had started to explain. It...was kind of creeping her out to be honest. And Fluttershy, predictably enough, was making a good faith effort to vanish into her mane. Twilight instead turned to Applejack and Rarity, hoping for some sanity. Or, well, it was her friends. So, sanity failing, at least a coherent sentence.

"So, Applejack? What do you think about this?"

"Well shoot sugarcube, there aren't never harm in practice. And I sure wouldn't mind the next batch of wahoos to turn up getting their faces caved in proper. No offense there Tempest."

"No taken" Tempest replied.

"They weren't Wahoos" Twilight corrected. "They were Caprans. Easy mistake to make."

"Ahem. Be that as it dear," Rarity cut in, "I'm still a bit confused about what you called us here for. It's certainly a reasonable suggestion, but shouldn't this be an internal matter for the guard?"

“Isn’t it obvious?” Twilight said brightly. “We’re going to take over Equestria together.” There was a pause, broken by what sounded like an ambush by griffon knights coming from the ceiling.

“Um…” Fluttershy said softly, “I don’t think I want to take over Equestria. Who would take care of my animals while I was busy?”

“Fluttershy darling, you know she’s talking about a hypothetical exercise. Like an elaborate piece of theater. RIGHT Twilight?”

Twilight was a little offended. She’d only really gone insane with magical power the once after all. Maybe twice, depending on how you counted.

“Oh, I know that” said Fluttershy. “It, um, might actually be fun to get a little into character. Maybe. If nopony was looking. But, it still sounds like we would need to travel. And it would take a long time. My friends need me.”

“Ah, yes, much more understandable.” Rarity patted Fluttershy’s hoof. “And you’re hardly the only one with commitments and responsibilities. I have my business, Applejack has her farm work, Rainbow has the Wonderbolts. You know I’ll help you however I can dear, but...”

“...and then the Dragonlord and I both fall from the sky just as the sharknado hits and we DIE! Equestria is saved!” Rainbow crashed to the tabletop, panting and with an ear to ear grin as the notes were scattered to the winds. ”So what do you think! Totally epic right?”

“Try it again without dying.” Tempest’s voice could have substituted for a dehydration spell.

“Pfft, no sense of drama” Rainbow was completely unabashed. “So, when are we gonna do this thing?” Twilight and Tempest shared another Look, this one upgraded to Class 3.

“Well that’s just what we were discussing before being being so...enthusiastically interrupted” Rarity said. “I’d certainly be willing, and we all can see how you feel. But I’m just not sure it will be practical.”

“Actually I think I know how to deal with that” Twilight jumped in. It was good to be on top of things. “I’ve thought about it, and Luna couldn’t do it alone. But with a bit of consultation with Discord? This has a small, yet fascinating, chance of actually working!” Twilight was confused. Nopony else seemed enthused by the insight.

“Um...Twilight, are ya sure it’s a good idea gettin Discord involved?” Applejack had a look of serious concern on her face.

“Oh don’t worry, I thought of that. Luna and I will be supervising to make sure he doesn’t do anything too crazy. And we have a trump card” Twilight replied, smiling even more broadly. “Fluttershy will be with us.”

“There you go! Lighten up AJ” said Rainbow, flipping over and hovering backwards to sit. “Discord might be a jerk but he’d never do anything to hurt Fluttershy if he could help it.”

“If she agrees, Rainbow” Rarity said. She turned to Fluttershy, looking concerned. “Don’t feel pressured, dear. They won’t do anything dangerous, whatever you decide.” She glared at the others, daring them to contradict her.

“I think...I think I’d...like to” Fluttershy whispered, in a small voice even for her. She uncurled a little then, looking out and them more directly. “I have liked trying new things with Discord, and he likes helping me out of my comfort zone. Um, when we’re alone at least.” She took a deep breath, speaking more firmly now. “I’d like to try this, it will be fun. Even if it’s scary and new. And, um, a little evil. But just in a pretend way, so that's okay.”

“Well ah guess that’s us all agreed then” said Applejack, as Rainbow whooped her approval and zipped in circles around the room. “Ceptin Pinkie Pie. Where’s she gone anyway?” Twilight looked around, realizing that the giggling had been absent for awhile now. At that moment there was a crash from the door. And there she was, in a black cape and magnificent fake mustache, standing by her oversized Party Cannon and a ridiculous pile of mechanical contraptions. Spike stood beside her, in his top hat and a mustache that was, were that possible, even more magnificent than Pinkie's. Twilight blinked. Was that an anti-magic cage? Wing blades and a tail flail? A gooey vat of what she sincerely hoped was strawberry jam?

“Hi everypony!” Pinkie yelled. “The Pink Terror and Spikely Whiplash are ready for action! Am I too late?”

Tempest just shook her head. “This. This is the crack team that defeated my armies and foiled my plans. I take it all back. I was a complete failure.”

Comments

[Commander Darklight]

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/982/296/b3a.jpg

[Chaotic Ink]

Don't beat yourself up too much Tempest; the real reason you lost is because the writers said so. You could have had the perfect plan but it would have failed utterly when put up against Plot Armor.

And Jesus Twilight. Can't forget about Jesus Twilight

[Yutah123]

Tempest just shook her head. “This. This is the crack team that defeated my armies and foiled my plans. I take it all back. I was a complete failure.”

Muahahaha! One does not simpy go up against Main Characters and expect to win.

[Legatus]

9380768
LOL

YES, ONE DOES NOT GO AGAINST TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND THE MANE 6 AND EXPECT TO WIN