I prefer to write tame, happy stories, more like actual episodes than anything.
Everypony wants a career that utilizes their special talent; but not all talents are popular. The rain clouds of Cloudsdale are delivered across Equestria to ruin sunny days and drive everypony indoors--and the pegasi who make them are prone to bouts of depression. So why does the cloud factory's foremare smile so much? One colt hopes to find an answer before he quits his job.
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Not everyday that I take a gander at the FiMFiction front page and see a story description that does not make me weep blood. Much less one that seems appealing.
Hmm. I liked it. Very pleasantly motivational. Extremely simplistic, but sometimes the simple things get overlooked. I enjoy episode-like stories.
I don't think this one entranced or amused me enough to be added to my favorites, but I will throw you a like. If we still had star ratings, I would probably only give this a 3.5/5.0 due to overall lack of substance. This seems more like a scene in a much larger story. A story I think I would enjoy reading should you write it someday.
Good luck with your future stories. I'll keep my eye out.
Interesting read. It does feel a bit shortish and as DPV111 said, it could be used for a setting for something bigger. The character of the foremare seems interesting, as is her approach, so I guess you could take a go at writing a few Slice of Life chapters from her day to day work
This has the potential to stand apart from the daily trough of fics If you add "moar," as the interwebz folks would say. Give it some emotional punch. While DPV's "throwing you a like" may sound haughty, I would take his words as useful advice and encouragement to save this story of great potential from being thrown under the bus of obscurity. As we all know, there are no brakes on that bus.
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Thank you all for your support! I have some much larger works incoming, one of which, like this one, was written quite a long time ago. I will definitely consider where I can take this story next.
I liked this, it was really what I was looking for when I searched for a slice of life story. This is the kind of lesson I would send to Princess Celestia, if I was Twi. Keep up the great work!
This was a very nice little read. I don't think it was too short--it told the story it needed to tell, after all. My only critique is toward sentences like this one:
>“There’s more?” he turned back, his face brightening again. He knew she wouldn’t let him down!
I used to throw this kind of stuff into my writing all the time. After associating with wonderful FiMFiction writers like Saddlesoap Opera, Vimbert the Unimpressive, and shortskirtsandexplosions, I learned to omit them. It's more fun for the audience to "watch" what's happening rather than "read" about it, if that makes sense. We like to figure things out for ourselves; it's more rewarding and entertaining that way. The funny thing is, you gave us plenty of imagery with "he turned back, his face brightening again". That tells us everything we need to know about how he's feeling. "Show, don't tell" is the keystone of fiction.
Sorry for all that. The bottom line is: I really liked this story, and I'm very glad I read it. The message was wonderful, the ending was dear, and Raindrops is one of my favorite background ponies. Way to stretch her little mishap in "Feeling Pinkie Keen" into a tale about balance and duty. I can't help but think that Derpy was the friend she stayed with in Ponyville, and whether or not you had that in mind, it makes me feel all toasty inside.
As some others have said, it does feel like a snippet of something larger. Something I hope to read in the future! But, it was a very nice and pleasant little read, and it's not every day that you come across a fic about Raindrops. She's one of my favourite background ponies, and she needs more love!
Just read this story, chose it as one of my 1k hidden treasures reviews. A good story and I hope this helps bring more views and attention to it.