• Member Since 30th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Lighttone GryphonStar


I write stories because I enjoy them. I want to do better and am willing to take any advice to improve.

T
Source

An ancient spell is activated, sending them into the distant past. Now, with no way home they are forced to live through events they were never meant to be apart two ponies try their best to stay out of history's way for more than two years. However, things don't go as planned when they get pulled right into the middle of a war between the immortal alicorns and mortal ponies. All while a mysterious wendigo claiming to be a king makes a bid for power that might change all of history.

******

Please note that the rating may rise up to M if and when it's needed. Though I will try my best to keep at a T rating for as long as possible. Also, the romance tag has nothing to do with Twilight and Starlight being shipped with each other. Sorry, but I have other ships planned. If you have been following since I started working on the previews of this you know what I'm talking about.

Cover Artist: Sakura

Chapters (23)
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Comments ( 34 )

How do I know this story won't die after only one chapter?

9054339
Uhh, first I've never pulled that once. Heck, even Cold Vlight which has no more chapters on site got past the prologue. Second I already have five chapters of this written on GDocs, just need to refine them and several others chapters still in rough drafts. Third not counting this month, you are getting one chapter each month to give me enough room to breathe.

Don't worry so much. The only thing I'm worried right now about is finding a proofreader.

Love it so far and will start tuned!

“To avoid time paradoxes, right?”

Of course, Starlight, obviously Twilight doesn't want to be as stupid as Fry.

9054339
How does the author know you won't stop reading after only one chapter?

9171851
He's an old fan of my writing from back when I started so he worried about some of my old habits. You see when I got started I had a lot of stories going through my head but not a lot of time to work on them all at once so often back then stories would fall to the wayside in favor of the stories that got more views.

Nowadays I can control myself a bit better and such things only happen when I'm handling multiple long stories at once. This won't be the case for this one for two important reasons.

1. This story view count is growing faster than any of my recent stories ever have.

2. outside of two one-shots I have planned this is the only story I'm working on right now. And as I said multiple long stories are often the problem. One shot are almost never a problem, and even when they are they will be the ones on the wayside, not the longer story, So, if I get too busy, it just means they won't get posted at all, not left have finished. Readers won't ever have to worry about unfinished products with one-shots.

Though now that I think about it he could be referring to my Murder Anthology, a story that has one chapter and is still incomplete. If so than he has the completely wrong idea. It's an anthology, ergo I don't need to add chapters unless I want to. The story for Murder Anthology is sort of complete sort of not complete. Really it where ever the reader wants to stop with that one. I'll try clearing that up with him in the next comment.

9054339
I've been wondering... Have you been referring to Murder Anthology this whole time. Yes, it does only have one chapter and isn't complete, but that only because it's an anthology. An Anthology can have a stopping point and a starting point at any time, hence the name. Just because I haven't updated it in two years doesn't mean it's dead, if anything it's quite the reverse. Since it an anthology I can start it back up any time I want to and end it any time I want to. The reason I left it incomplete is that becuase it's a life story and a life story can have many stopping points but only one end. In other words for now the story is done, but that doesn't mean there isn't more I can add later.

Truth be told I've wanted to add a new part to Murder Anthology for a long time, I actually have half of the next part already written down. The main problem is timing. I've sort of back myself into a corner with posting on happening on Halloween Night. Lately, October has been my busy month, not just with writing but also life. I am person of horror and macabre, Halloween is where I have the most fun. And it's not like I can change the date. Murder Anthology is my goriest story, when else would I post it. Plus I made a promise that chapter would go up on Halloween Nights only, I refuse ever to break a promise intentionally and that is the truth.

Luckily Journey To Hearth's Warming is far from such locks and blocking. Yes, schedules have been decided, but this time I'm certain not to be open with everything until I know for sure I can keep this promise. Just know for now one chapter will be coming out each month. Things may change in January, but if you wish to know why then simply keep up with my blogs. Either way, there is one thing I can promise you, this time the story will never go dead, whether I write chapters here or on Fanfiction or some other site, this story will keep going. I've worked too hard on this to simply let it ever die. It will only end when I reach the epilogue.

9296777
Yeah, original I was going to use Sonata Dusk as the first siren to show up, but then I realized that the earlier scene in the last part of the prologue seemed far too out of character for her and better matched Adagio Dazzle.

Ohh, the title of this chapter gives me the chills and fits perfectly since nearly every scene starts and ends with a scream.

Should I have joined him on his crusade, or should I have left him to rot away? As I walked, I can only pray that the right choice has been made for the cost of being wrong could be worse than being right.

This just sounds better to read.

Snowflakes wander through the maddening cold of the frost covered beach as (1) the (2) waved kicked in defiance of the ice trying to form over it.

1: I believe this was just a small autocorrect failure, but still helpful to point out since you were refering to the snowflakes falling.

2: A double past tense just felt a bit awkward to say, try making "kick" present tense. Or you can insert "and" to make it sound better as well. If both of those suggestions sound bad, then you might want to reconstruct the sentence entirely from scratch again.

Grasping it (3) tightly without even looking he yanked it off and exhaled heavily as he heard footsteps approach him.

3: This is a little choppy because of where you placed this new information. So the correct punctuation is:

Grasping it (3) tightly, without even looking, he yanked it off and exhaled heavily as he heard footsteps approach him.

It's the same as:

Rarity, Sweetie Belle's snooty sister, eyed the human skeptically for any trace of deceit in his words.

9680053
Notice: The first message was supposed to be this message, but due to doing this text on a moblie device, it accidently got sent first.

And that was in the Prologue after a few paragraphs in the story. I usually glimpse mistakes like this, but I figured you should be aware that they exist in your story. I could write down every mistake, but I really want to read the rest of your work. So the best advice I can give right now is always reread to yourself out loud and check your story flow carefully at least once before publishing any chapter. Quality is always better than quantity.

-RedtheDestroyer

9680082
9680053
Thank you for the help, I often have a hard time figuring out the commas. As for the rest, it was waves, not waved as in the waves of the water were fighting the frost of the beach. Sort of an allegory moment of the prologue. In fact, this whole first scene illustrates that. The water(siren) that fight in a vain pointless battle while the ice(wendigo) refuses to give despite how much he is losing.

Next up the missing word. Quickly fixed as well, I thank you for the help. It would really better if I had proofreader to help me, but I have to rely on solely on myself and sometimes a very unhelpful grammar app.

9680082

but I really want to read the rest of your work.

I am glad you are enjoying my work. I hope you run into lesser mistakes so you can simply enjoy the read. Depending on how talks go on another thread, season two will start in August.

9680341
9680349
Yeah, no problem. I know how you feel. I have to self-edit everything I do myself. It's a pain and the reason why I don't have as much chapter being produced from me.

The only thing I have to say is the timeline of this Alternative Universe seems to be a bit out of wack. So far, it's pretty intresting and has healthy amounts of lore. In my opinion, it just feels on fast forward, except for fight scenes. And conversations are nicely done. The Indigo Frost does seem like a monloguer judging by his first appearance.

Besides that, I enjoy the advantage the Real Wendigo King has over the rest of the ponies and creatures of the world. I am curious if he has more of his kind, or if he was the Wendigo that 'perished' in that legend. I'll be continuing reading.

9680381
Sorry, if the prologue and first episode felt a little fast, but I was trying to establish the land and the background. However, I get back on track with episode three as well as the others afterword. I'm glad you are enjoying Indigo Frost, he is certainly a unique villain especailly when you know his true motivation.

Huh; just found this story and found the concept interesting. It's going a bit slowly, but I think I'll keep an eye on it, as the writing is definitely good.

I hope Twilight and/or Starlight start to interact with the war plotline more directly soon.

9724613
Don't worry, you get plenty of war connect with these two before Season One is over. Heck, Episode Nine is so big because of the battle hitting home, I was just trying to lay the ground work that builds up to that with the earlier chapters.


Season two starts next month and Twilight and Starlight will be in the thick of it with that season. Just read what you can and catch up soon. The first town is very important for the things to come.

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

9748427
Sorry it took me so long to answer this. Fimfiction never notified me.

Depends which OCs you are talking about. Indigo Frost I always heard with a welsh accent.

Every time I write Rex I hear Crispin Freeman, because the original version of him from my first ever fic no longer up I based him heavily on my favorite role of Crisper Freeman, Jeremiah Gottwatt from Code Geass. Rex has changed drastically since that first fic but I still hear the voice every time.

Carnival Carnage, that one is simple. Tim Curry for his incredible take on Pennywise from It. Vanity I actually do establish in the story to have a western accent. AS for Silver Pear and his mother, they are considered relatives to Applejack so those two are even easier.

The night bros are also establish in the story with their own voices. Sting being very much based on the whitest rapper idea and Fiend's voice is shallow and hearse due to talking through a breathing tube.

Blood Diamond I hear David Vincent, the voice of Gilgamesh from Fate UBW. As for Cold Blue despite him playing a massive role in this story later down the line I haven't settled on a voice for him, been leaning toward Scandinavian lately though.

Are there any other OCs you want me to go over?

9756125
Well, two things. one, I haven't read the story yet, so is Indigo Frost the windigo? Two, can I please get an example of a Welsh accent?

10012898

Well, two things. one, I haven't read the story yet

Pretty obvious since your first comment was an assumption that this story wouldn't last a single chapter.

so is Indigo Frost the windigo?

Obviously, the name alone screams ice pun. But there is some cleverness in the word choice as later yet to be release chapters will make clear.

Two, can I please get an example of a Welsh accent?

The best I could do, Often youtube just has jokes on accents rather than example. To put it simply I chose this accent as it often seen as the nicer of accents. Often characters in TV and books with this accent are shown as kind and gentle, this is a perfect jarring twist to Indigo Frost's far less kind and more brutal actions in scenes. And though the story doesn't often state it, when he is calm he is in fact very gentle and kind. He's a monster, but only to whom he drives this side toward, This makes it very hard to hate him even when he's ripping the flesh off his enemies.

Plus, it's far better to go with the unique welsh rather than the classic evil British.

Haven’t read the the story yet, But is the romance tag for Twilight X Starlight? There aren’t enough of those on this sight and most of the multi chapter ones are incomplete, or canceled.

10147759

Also, the romance tag has nothing to do with Twilight and Starlight being shipped with each other. Sorry, but I have other ships planned.

Right there in the main description. Sorry, it rather hard for me to ship Twilight with anyone outside PCs. Really, I'm treating Twilight and Starlight in a motherly-teacher role, nothing else.

10147875
Oh. Sorry, didn’t see that. Well I’m sure it’ll be a good read anyway.

10147886
Go for it. Though there won't any shipping between the two, I am planning to have a strong bond between the two.

10147896
And that is the next best thing.😊 anything other then bitter enemies.

10147904
Certainly not bitter enemies. The whole idea I have is Starlight learn magic and swordmanship from Twilight. Meanwhile Starlight attempts to help Twilight pasted the pain of being separated from her friends.

10147917
Swordsmanship? Since when does twilight know how to handle a sword?

10148144
It's explained pretty early that this wasn't the only timeline they visit before arriving here. And later chapters go into detail on some of those other timelines and one of them only had dark magic as a proper power source. Due to dark magic's dangerous effects, Twilight picked up swordsmanship to rely on it less and less. However, the first season does cover the dangers of dark magic pretty well. In fact, the current season has shined dark magic in a far more dangerous light, especially the most recent chapter. I.E. dark ascension

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