• Member Since 9th Apr, 2018
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Nocturnal Reverie


Just a socially awkward potato that can't go one day without writing something.

E

After a month of no news of her missing sister and the seven other foals that went missing, Applejack and her brother are trying to cope with the loss. That all changes when the answer to their prayers literally appears right in front of them. Now they must go on a harrowing journey to set right what should never have happened.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 9 )

Interesting story, though I feel the paseing was a little quick. Things kept moveing on with no time to process what was happening. I feel like this could have been 2 chapters with the first being a prologue with Apple Jack remembering in detail the event, then ending with "Muddy" showing up. The next chapter being a teary reunion followed by "Muddy" picking up the rest of the crusaders. Then again I don't know what you have planned. I guess what I'm saying is slow down to smell the flowers but run when the beast is chasing you.

You've got a good hook now reel me in.

8868959

Thanks for the feedback!
I'll admit, I do tend to have trouble starting stories, pacing-wise. I'll keep your suggestion in mind for future stories; but you're right: all will be explained soon.
I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter!

How do I know this story won't die after only one chapter?

8881396
Hi, Starlight. I appreciate your concern, but don't worry. I'm at the end of my college semester, so the next chapter should come up in the near future, I just got swamped with a bunch of end-of-the-year work.

Just found this story and it is interesting. Hope you come back to it someday. :twilightsmile:

11258582
Aw, thank you for taking the time to read this old story:twilightsheepish::twilightsmile:

I am planning on a rewrite. I’ll be posting it as a new story instead of updating the chapters. I’d like to keep this thing where it is so people can come find it and see how I’ve improved, or just compare the two based on what’s here and what will be there. If that makes any kind of sense:rainbowlaugh:

Again, thank you for finding and reading this!:twilightsmile: I’m glad you enjoyed it!

huh, quite the interesting start here

11259579
Hope others comes to fruition this is excellent! Can't wait to see what an "improved" version looks like over an already great start!

I read this story, are you going to make the next chapter or are you gonna finish Unseen, Unheard first?

Login or register to comment