• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Captain_Hairball


Weird old horse furry.

Comments ( 14 )

This sounds really interesting. *clicks the read later button*

An excellent, compact story that checks all the right boxes. More people need to read this.

She sat in the stall longer than she needed to, thinking. It wasn’t too late to escape out the bathroom window — it was small, but Mirror was skinny. It looked like she’d fit. But she was actually having a good time! A better time than she’d had in ages. She liked to think of herself as a pony who loved to be alone, but it did get old. This was like something in one of her romances novels. A mistaken identity. A meet cute. It could go places. Wonderful, exciting, dangerous places.

It actually took me to the other pony banging on the stall door to realize she went to the bathroom. Even with the 'when I come back' line. Maybe add 'bathroom' to the part at the beginning there? "She sat in the bathroom stall longer than she needed to."?

Also 'A meet cute' Uh what? Either that's a typo, or a phrase I've just never heard before.

it had been so long that Strange Mirror had forgotten they ones they’d taught her in magic high school

Pretty sure that's suppose to be a 'the'

(Also hi, really enjoying this, but when I enjoy something I tend to point out errors. Hope it's not annoying.)

It wasn’t something I decided all at once,” said Strange Mirror, as calmly as she could. “I was just trying to live with my condition. And was hard. But it was also all I had. And then you took that away from me, and then everything fell apart.”

I feel there should be a 'that' in there.

X grimaced, and leaned away from her. “Oh, it wouldn’t be illegal wouldn’t it?”

Was that suppose to be 'would' be illegal wouldn't it'?

granted, the material wasn’t inherently engaging, but they mystery gave it a savor it wouldn’t ordinarily have had

Another they that should be a the

It's now 4am, as I had to read all of this. I had to.

It was wonderful. Thank You.

This is a really well crafted story, Cap! Excellent pacing, perfectly crafted, solid plot, just enough mystery magic to keep you guessing, and simply, shamelessly mature.

It's really, really good, some excellent stuff here. Awesome job. Thank you for staying determined.

Man. I love this story. Love the happy ending too.

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Oh gosh, thank you guys so much! :twilightsmile: I really worked hard on this one.

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Oh, typo corrections are much appreciated; thanks for doing my job! I would’ve edited the story myself, but I’m too busy getting ready for BronyCon!! :raritystarry:

Now, a ‘‘meet cute”, though, is just the term for when you meet a love interest at the at the beginning of a rom-com movie, like they’re a barista who makes you the perfect coffee and you can’t forget their smile, or you run into each other and drop both of your books and papers all over the hallway and when you reach down to pick them up your hands touch! :D I might’ve preferred to write the phrase ‘meet-cute’ with a hyphen, myself? I haven’t looked it up!

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Made edits. Thanks!

Yeah, 'meet cute' is a romance novel term. I've studied romance novels; it seems like writing shipfic I'd be ready to write romance novels but apparently no? Scoots, I've NEVER seen it hyphenated.

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Well that would explain it given I've only ever read one Romance novel in my life. (Though I own it's sequel. I really should get around to reading it.)

(Breath of Magic and Touch of Enchantment if you were curious)

Great story, although I'll have to only give a conditional recommendation to a friend of mine to read this because of the sex scenes. If this story had been Teen rated then I would have recommended this story wholeheartedly.

Fun little story, cool Canterlot worldbuilding, and the references to current canon like the Kirin and Changedlings are very nice to see.

I think it worked quite well as an adult story, too. The smut is background to the characters and action, but still provides some cute insight into their personalities.

Definitely wish there was more to read, though :twilightsmile:

That was lovely.

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