• Member Since 8th Apr, 2018
  • offline last seen Dec 31st, 2018

Deep556


I have a big interest for Politics in MLP

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Source

After lots of money being wasted on parties, repairs on infrastructure, urbanization, and thefts due to low security of the national treasury, protests on the streets that want democracy, socialism, monarchy and mainly fascism have risen, because of this, a huge crisis was made to decide in the first ever elections. This is where their adventures begin.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 4 )

Oh boy, Fascism on the rise. Que the music.

democracy, socialism, monarchy and mainly fascism have risen

It's gonna be a ride, huh?
*reads*
Okay, seriously, your grasp of political concepts seems to be on more or less the same level as your grasp of grammar and overall coherence of this chapter. Which is, I'm afraid, somewhere between monarchy and socialism. There's no rhyme, no reason, no logic in what the characters do, and it seems like the closest you were to political ideologies was when playing Civilisation. Everything is simplified to the point of caricature and a pretty shallow one at that.

As for the grammar issues, you keep using the word "parliamentary", as if it was a noun, even though it's an adjective (the word you're looking for is "parliament"). Not to mention switching between past and present tense and some pretty awkwardly constructed and convoluted sentences.

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